Garrulous Glaahk Mah Al Ibara Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Dionicio, dude, I am SO sorry. I knew you were up there in that cell, but I didn't want to bother until I had cleaned out the riffraff, you know? I thought, I'll go get him when I'm ready to take on the Big Guy. I swear, man, that was my plan. But when it came time to go in for the kill, I just, like, totally blanked, you know? I mean, it's not like I forgot about you. Hey, how could I forget you after all we've through together, bro? It's just that, well, you being up there and all ready and raring to help me out just kind of...slipped my mind. You know how sometimes you get up and go to the kitchen, and then you're like, what did I come in here for? And you end up doing something completely different? LOL Yeah, it was just like that. Except in this case, the fate of both our nations was at stake. So anyway, somehow I managed to take out Dork-ass (LOL) without your help (although, of course, it would have been a LOT easier if I had your help, cause I know you totally rock in a tight spot, dude), and then, just as I'm about to leave, I go "Oh, sh*t! Dionicio!" And I run upstairs and throw open the cell door...and you're, like, gone. ... So I'm thinking, whoa, I hope he got out all right and isn't, like, totally pissed off at me, but then I walk outside and it's, like, this horde is charging the fortress, and there's General Redmark with that totally '90s beard of his and all hell breaks out and then everything was, like, completely insane for, like, three months, and all the time (I swear) I'm thinking, "I gotta find out what happened to Dionicio." So, dude, are you alive or what? Are you, like, totally pissed? Because I would understand if you are, man, completely. I'd be pissed off, too. But, hey, you're the king of irony right? I'm sure you can appreciate the irony here, because, it's, like, totally ironic, isn't it? I mean, there you are, with some kickass spells, all ready to help and all, and I, like, go in without you. It's kinda funny, when you think about it. I think some day we'll all look back on this and laugh. So, no hard feelings? Drop me a line when you find time, dude. Oh, note the new e-mail address. Yeah, I know. "m-pire_hero1@empire.go.em" Totally gay, I know, but I've got an image to keep up. You know how it is. Later, Aldous P.S. Cordelia and I split. She said I wasn't "intellectually stimulating enough". I'm like, "Hello? I'm a soldier?" She seemed to find me "stimulating enough" when we were on the road. Besides, it's not like I'm totally stupid. I'm a "3," man, which is enough to keep from being charmed. Sometimes. On a good day. So who do you think she went and hooked up with? Remember Lark? Yeah, that Lark. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound. Is it supposed to make me feel better or worse that she dumped me for a chick? Anyway, I've been seeing this nephilim archer chick named Meow. (No joke: that's her name.) She's great, but I've got these allergies, so I have to get shots once a month. Maybe you know this, but nephilim chicks are pretty hot. Except for that hairball thing. Sheesh. And she won't come near me if I haven't bathed in, like, six hours. P.P.S.: Mycroft tells me to tell you, "Please, please answer my e-mail!" I swear to god, he's been writing poems about you. Like, really bad poems, too. I keep telling him, "Get over it, dude, you know Dionicio doesn't swing that way," but he says his "gaydar" tells him otherwise. Anyway, just passing the message on. Oh, and he tells me to tell you that he reminded me twice to go back for you before the big fight, which may be true. I don't remember. What can I say, dude, I'm just a "3". LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Redstart Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 I hope he replies. I so hate it when people ignore your mails and phone calls over imagined slights. Like leaving them to die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 That, sir, is a work of brilliance. I want to know what happened to Sschah, though. —Alorael, who hopes Cordelia has a high tolerance for dishes of intriguing flavor and components. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Sudanna Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 Awesome! Reads like a real email. Alorael- Ssschah was apparently replaced by Meow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted July 24, 2008 Share Posted July 24, 2008 An entertaining waste of time! Yay!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk Toby-Linn Posted July 25, 2008 Share Posted July 25, 2008 Very cool, good work! Hilarious read Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Mah Al Ibara Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 P.P.P.S. Almost forgot: Ssschah gave me a message to you about "Owing you a great debt" and about how "neither I nor my kin shall soon forget", and then he start throwing in Slith words that all just sounded like "hiss" to me, and that's when my eyes glazed over and I started thinking that it was probably overkill to go into that last fight wearing the Crystalline Plate when I probably could've taken Dork-ass out just as easily wearing the Mercuric Chain, which got me thinking about sweat, and then I started wondering if Avernites know some tricks to keep stuff from rusting that we don't know about. And then Ssschah said, "I trust you will pass this message on to Dionicio," and I'm like, "Hey, consider it passed, dude." So Ssschah says "Thanks." I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Sudanna Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 I don't think anyone here could do better at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Originally Posted By: Matt Thorn ... So I'm thinking, whoa, I hope he got out all right and isn't, like, totally pissed off at me, but then I walk outside and it's, like, this horde is charging the fortress, and there's General Redmark with that totally '90s beard of his and all hell breaks out and then everything was, like, completely insane for, like, three months, and all the time (I swear) I'm thinking, "I gotta find out what happened to Dionicio." ... Are you, like, totally pissed? Because I would understand if you are, man, completely. I'd be pissed off, too. But, hey, you're the king of irony right? I'm sure you can appreciate the irony here, because, it's, like, totally ironic, isn't it? I mean, there you are, with some kickass spells, all ready to help and all, and I, like, go in without you. It's kinda funny, when you think about it. I think some day we'll all look back on this and laugh. ... It sounds like there's a lot of liking going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Mah Al Ibara Posted July 27, 2008 Author Share Posted July 27, 2008 Originally Posted By: Excalibur It sounds like there's a lot of liking going on. Like, whaddya mean, dude? Seriously, apart from having majored in writing in college, I grew up in a house where the superfluous use of "you know" and "like" (or, heaven forbid, "ain't") invariably resulted in sarcastic rejoinders from either or both parents. (That was in the days before "totally" and "dude" had spread like viruses.) So for me this is like writing in a foreign language. That would include "LOL." Just today I came across a hilarious sticker that reads, "I'm somewhat skeptical you're laughing out loud as much as you claim." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk Evnissyen Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Ex: I'm sure you didn't mean to say "licking", did you? Because I'd hate for another "tongue" thread to get started. Matt: I remember when I was a kid I decided that I'd start pronouncing the word "rather" like a British person... and my brother consequently made fun of me until I stopped doing it. Before that I tried to start using the word "ain't", just to be interesting, but my father was not amused. He was, however, amused when I began using the word "whatever", and consequently began using the word himself... but I restrained my use of words like "like" for out of doors, along with most of the rest of my vernacular. I guess "dude" was an okay word when it was used ironically. When jocks and guys with baseball caps began using the word profusely, it stopped being amusing and just became annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Someone once said dude one time after every word they said for a few minutes on the bus. That person was me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Micawber Posted July 27, 2008 Share Posted July 27, 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk Evnissyen Posted July 28, 2008 Share Posted July 28, 2008 Micawber's writing challenge for today: Express that in a sentence. (May include the word dude.) Iffy: Funny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Dikiyoba Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 "Dude, my eyeballs are cramping up. I need to stretch them out a bit, okay?" Dikiyoba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Swimmin' Salmon Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 Sweet! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Articulate Vlish DrRorschach Posted July 29, 2008 Share Posted July 29, 2008 One of the best end game summaries I have ever read. And now, when/if I ever reach that point, I will always remember to go back for Dionicio lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Micawber Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Originally Posted By: Evnissyen Micawber's writing challenge for today: Express that in a sentence. (May include the word dude.) Iffy is an ass, and Matt dude I want your babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted July 30, 2008 Share Posted July 30, 2008 Well, I was sort of dared to do it. They also wanted to see if I could do it. I succeeded. So how is that being an ass? (Unless you are talking about something else I typed) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Micawber Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Dude, you don't have to do everything you're dared to do. Even using the word once a sentence is annoying dude (let alone every other word). The rolleyes were apposite; you can decide for yourself if you deserve to be called an ass for doing something idiotic (and boasting about it here). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Originally Posted By: Excalibur It sounds like there's a lot of liking going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted July 31, 2008 Share Posted July 31, 2008 Originally Posted By: Micawber Dude, you don't have to do everything you're dared to do. Even using the word once a sentence is annoying dude (let alone every other word). The rolleyes were apposite; you can decide for yourself if you deserve to be called an ass for doing something idiotic (and boasting about it here). Whoa, you completely misinterpreted the situation, but that is my fault. I always fail to explain things correctly. Besides, that incident happened years ago. You know, when I was a complete idiot? But that was years ago... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk Evnissyen Posted August 2, 2008 Share Posted August 2, 2008 Micawber: You really need to look for that sense of humor. Or stop insulting others for having one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgeoning Battle Gamma Paroxysm Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 Like, whoa. There's all this, like, grammatical pretentiousness going on here. The Queen's English really trashes my vibe dude, forreal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fledgling Fyora Rhymenoceros Posted August 16, 2008 Share Posted August 16, 2008 This is hilarious. I like the tone and style of this e-mail, bro. It actually reads like it was written by someone with a "3" in intelligence, dude. I especially like the fourth wall referential allusion to the author's intellect stat. I can actually visualize a musclehead that's PUMPED about adventuring and totally stoked to get to stab stuff for a living. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted August 17, 2008 Share Posted August 17, 2008 Originally Posted By: Fiend Angelical Like, whoa. There's all this, like, grammatical pretentiousness going on here. The Queen's English really trashes my vibe dude, forreal. I hate how she still calls it "Her" English. Reptile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Carranzero Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 that was Funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Sss-Chah Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 i always knew there was something going on between lark and cordelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 Normally people frown on posting in topics that have been dead for months, because if you do that, everyone sees a many-page topic with a vaguely familiar name suddenly appear out of nowhere among the active topics, and people may waste some time on it before they realize it's not actually new. But I'm glad this one got revived, because I had never seen it when it was fresh, and it's hilarious. We ought to have a special shrine for classic posts like the original one in this thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody Feo Takahari Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Come to think of it, we have all those archives of old posts. Is there a "classic" section of the archives? If not, would anyone care to add one? I'd volunteer to search for other topics to add to it, but I haven't been around long enough to remember the real classics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Archaeolagent Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 The History of the Boards I've been working on is almost ready to go public. It has a "noteworthy threads" column containing links to stuff like this. Once it is released, I will be thrilled if people point me to threads they think should be included. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody Feo Takahari Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 Uh, I don't mean to complain, given how hard you must be working, but won't the links all break the next time the UBB acts up? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Archaeolagent Posted March 30, 2009 Share Posted March 30, 2009 The links to PPP won't break. Links to the board have, thus far, been easily converted to links to PPP. If that changes, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Abhishek Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 But where is he? I come to forums after my second playthrough after completing both side endings but still i dont know that where is he. Actually i doesnt complete his last quest so he was stuck in muck both times but this time i want to take his help. Please tell me his location in dorikas fort Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Dikiyoba Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 Dionicio won't show up in Dorikas' fortress unless you've completed his last quest. That's why you couldn't find him. Dikiyoba. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Earth Posted April 22, 2009 Share Posted April 22, 2009 he isn't that big help and gets killed easily and has too much bravado considering his weaponry etc but completing his last quest at muck gives some experience which might be helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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