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Best puns and jokes.


Trenton.

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Originally Posted By: The Kingdom of West Brom
On the subject on punnitry, praise must be given to the late great Tommy Cooper! This guy was so funny that when he had a fatal heart attack during a live sketch the audience laughed their asses off even as he collapsed on stage :s Crazy!


are you sure it wasn't actually that he was very unfunny
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To all the pundits who have punned on these pages, I proffer my paw to praise and applaud you. May your path be paved with stones that are gneiss, and be shaded from harm by the grove of punned-it-trees. Just be careful of loaded punapples.

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Sometimes debugging someone elses program can be quite punnishing. Just the other day, one of my programmers was complaining that a piece of code wouldn't work. He had showed it to another programmer and together they spent over three hours trying to figure out why it didn't work. Other similar snippets of code worked OK, so they finally concluded that it had to be a bug in the database. So they call the Data Base Administrator, me, to come take a look. They demonstrated the miscreant behaviour of this little bit of code, so I had them byte off a copy of that code so that I could chew on it a bit.

 

Sure enough, the code misbehaved the same way. But then when I compared the one piece that worked with the one that didn't, I noticed a telltale tail on one of the periods. Sure enough, what I was looking at was a comma disguising itself as a period. In fact it was a ...

 

Comma Chameleon.
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I don't ant-icipate that such extermination would succeed unless one could find the ant-ecedent of the colony.

To do that you would need an inform ant to be your assist ant to find you a combat ant to rid the nest of its inhabit ants.

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Well, always a pleasure to trouble a noble spirit. Not sure if it's yours or someone else's. Also glad that someone noticed the second pun in that post.

 

Your new avatar is well-grounded.

 

Oh definitely somebody else's,,, I'm far from secure in my footing. ;)

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Let me translate a bit. Nikki had an alternate account that was banned, the given reason being "Extermination!" That last word links into the pun chain above. I suspect there's also something about Daleks and Doctor Who, but having never seen it I can't really evaluate that any further.

 

—Alorael, who also suspects that Nikki is messing with people because that's what he loves to do. Or maybe he's being inscrutably British in a way that will never make sense unless you have dwelt upon the far side of the Big Pond.

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Hey, I don't love to mess with people!

 

Yes, I had an account which was banned, but it was only a joke account. Way back when, 5 or 6 of us regular users had the same PDN (The Doctor) and each had a regeneration of the Doctor as their avatar, myself included. After talking to one of the other Doctors, they suggested I make a multi that was called 'Dalek', to take the joke further. That's the account that was banned, and the reason given was "Extermination".

 

I brought it up because I had been watching the Doctor and "exterminate" seemed a good word to start a new chain of punning off. Of course then we started talking about Toph... And my not responding is not a case of being bored, but merely remembering that this thread isn't a private conversation (and not everybody wants t near me make a million avatar puns). :p

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Well, I'll stop badger-ing you with puns on this track, then.

 

Thanks for the clarification! I actually do remember, probably way back right about the time I first got on here, when it seemed like everyone was calling themselves The Doctor. It was...weird. LOL.

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On the Election Day Poll thread:

To be accurate, I didn't compare. I used a metaphorical allegory. :p

 

Allegories can be hazardous to your health, especially those found in the Atchafalaya Swamp.

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you wanna hear a joke

 

MSU ResNet

 

i dont even care that I'm in constant violation of their AUP (by using a router to not have my network printer (and all my machines) visible to everyone on campus, what can i say im such a rebel) because as i see it how can i violate the conditions of their service policy when i am not being provided the service

 

i mean that would be like being accused of writing libel when you dont even have arms, or something

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Harehunter went out bow-hunting one day. He came upon a covey of foul. He knew they were foul because he recognized them as harpys Velociraptors. But when he pulled out his bow, it didn't look the same as usual, Then he reached back for an arrow, and found a violin looking thing in his hand.

"All right, who is the wiseguy who's been fiddling with my bow?"

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Maestro, when I tell chemistry puns, I always get a reaction. Usually that reaction resembles dropping a gram of metallic sodium into a jar of water. (Paint visual image of this in your mind.)

 

Most of my physics puns tend to be of the electric variety. You'd be shocked by static I get from those.

 

I've tried to come up with good puns in nuclear physics, but it seems I'm always fission for a pun-ch line. (That was weak,)

 

If you are inclined to pun planely, don't get yourself wrapped around a cylinder. You'll be screwed up.

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