Project SLARTIFICUS

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: CRISIS on INFINITE SLARTIES

*snip*

Well, Google says it's English, but I still can't make any sense of it.

[inni]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: CRISIS on INFINITE SLARTIES

*snip*

Well, Google says it's English, but I still can't make any sense of it.

i think he means, THIS ISN"T OVER YET

[Metatron]

I made a pretty nice try at finding the old character cards. Are those coming back too?

[Lilith]

why am i a cavewoman

 

i should be lucca

[Kelandon]

Originally Posted By: Lilith

why am i a cavewoman

I find that this question answers itself.

[nikki.]

Originally Posted By: Nioca

Actually, both are correct. Comradery is an Americanized spelling variant of camaraderie.

If both are correct then "camaraderie" is MORE correct.

[Student of Trinity]

For those who have less idea how Slarty's demented mind works, this latest screed is a slightly distorted version of a chunk of dialog from, I think, Chrono Trigger. Evidently Lilith, for one, simply recognized the source immediately. I've never even seen the game, just fed a chunk of the text into Google. So I don't know what's going on, but I can see that something is.

[Nioca]

Originally Posted By: Shatter

Originally Posted By: Nioca

Actually, both are correct. Comradery is an Americanized spelling variant of camaraderie.

If both are correct then "camaraderie" is MORE correct.

True, but I won't be picky. You got the meaning, didn't you?

[Randomizer]

Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity

For those who have less idea how Slarty's demented mind works, this latest screed is a slightly distorted version of a chunk of dialog from, I think, Chrono Trigger. Evidently Lilith, for one, simply recognized the source immediately. I've never even seen the game, just fed a chunk of the text into Google. So I don't know what's going on, but I can see that something is.

There was a deathmatch using characters from computer games. I didn't follow it since I haven't played enough of them to recognize what was happening.

[Aoslare]

Welcome to Spider Web.  My name is Slartaret Iferman. 

I live in Spider Web.  I am known as the Desk Don.  There is a

story behind that.  There are many stories in Spider Web--some of

them are sad, some funny.  Some of them are stories of madness,

of violence.  Some are ordinary.   Yet they all have about them a

sense of mystery--the mystery of life. Sometimes, the mystery of

death.  The mystery of the web.  The web surrounding Spider Web.
 

To introduce this story, let me just say it encompasses the all-

it is beyond the 'RETRIOACTIVITY', though few would know that

meaning.  It is a story of many, but begins with one--and I knew

***.
 

The one leading to the many is ************.  ***** is the one.
 

THE COMING OF THE THIRD OF THE CAPITAL POSTS IS NIGH...T

Originally Posted By: Jewels in Black

*rubs hands together gleefully*

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

*headdesk*

[Randomizer]

Is it topic necromancy if you revive a topic after over a year?

 

Or is it Slarty finally finishing another project?

 

When Slarty finishes the last project does that mean that the world will end?

[Aoslare]

Originally Posted By: Randomizer

When Slarty finishes the last project does that mean that the world will end?

Even though it has stopped growing larger, my desk is aware.

[Triumph]

Originally Posted By: Randomizer

Is it topic necromancy if you revive a topic after over a year?

Perhaps the Retrioactivity includes a form of time travel, and Slarty actually transported us all back in time to a point when this thread was not dead?

[Erebus the Black]

Where ground is soft, most often grows

Arise, arise, arouse, a rose!

A... a rosy nose?

[Dintiradan]

See, Slarty, the issue is this: we've got a classic case of Achilles vs. Tortoise on our hands here. Write as fast as you can, you can't avoid the continual evolution of the forums. Writing the complete history is as impossible as Achilles beating the Tortoise in a footrace. And let's not get into the implications of the histories being noteworthy enough for inclusion in the histories.

[Triumph]

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

See, Slarty, the issue is this: we've got a classic case of Achilles vs. Tortoise on our hands here.

Calculus to the rescue!!!

Of course, that may not enhance comprehensibility of Slarty's histories for the common layman.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Triumph

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

See, Slarty, the issue is this: we've got a classic case of Achilles vs. Tortoise on our hands here.

Calculus to the rescue!!!

Of course, that may not enhance comprehensibility of Slarty's histories for the common layman.

a/(1-r) can hardly be considered advanced mathematics by any stretch of the imagination. Deriving it, perhaps. But infinite geometric series by themselves aren't so hard.

[Aoslare]

Originally Posted By: FDintiradanT

See, Slarty, the issue is this: we've got a classic case of Raven v. Writing Desk on our hands here.

There are clues everywhere--all around us.  But the puzzle maker is

clever.  The clues, although surrounding us, are somehow mistaken for

something else.  And the something else--the *wrong* interpretation of the

clues--we call our world.  Our world is a magical smoke screen.  How should

we interpret the happy song of the lurker, or the robust flavor of a

rigorous statistical analysis?

[A less presumptuous name.]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

But infinite geometric series by themselves aren't so hard.

Many people consider calculus to be hard, and as infinite series are taught in Calc II, I find that the general population would differ with your above-quoted statement.

[Jerakeen]

You know, for the longest time I thought that Slartie's title was "Facepalming Hetacombshire". I finally googled it and learned that a hetacomb is a massive sacrifice involving the slaughter of a hundred oxen. Which was interesting, but made no sense.

 

Eventually I realized my mistake. But I remain slightly stunned that those are both actual words.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Master1

Originally Posted By: Dantius

But infinite geometric series by themselves aren't so hard.

Many people consider calculus to be hard, and as infinite series are taught in Calc II, I find that the general population would differ with your above-quoted statement.

I was discussing the act of computing the sum of a geometric series itself, which is just plugging numbers into a simple formula (a/[1-r]), which I would think even the mathematical illiterati would be capable of doing without too much trouble.

[Dintiradan]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Triumph

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

See, Slarty, the issue is this: we've got a classic case of Achilles vs. Tortoise on our hands here.

Calculus to the rescue!!!

Of course, that may not enhance comprehensibility of Slarty's histories for the common layman.

a/(1-r) can hardly be considered advanced mathematics by any stretch of the imagination. Deriving it, perhaps. But infinite geometric series by themselves aren't so hard.

To you two or I, perhaps. But these are philosophers we're talking about. Y'know, the people who have difficulty understanding how arrows move. Thing is, we'd be happy to explain the concept to them, but people with math backgrounds keep getting banned from their conferences.

[Aoslare]

Originally Posted By: The Turtle Moves

You know, for the longest time I thought that Slartie's title was "Facepalming Hetacombshire". I finally googled it and learned that a hetacomb is a massive sacrifice involving the slaughter of a hundred oxen. Which was interesting, but made no sense.

Eventually I realized my mistake. But I remain slightly stunned that those are both actual words.

The second one isn't. My title was originally "Facepalming Hecatonchire." The hecatonchires were children of Gaia in Greek myth with 100 arms and 50 heads, hence, a chorus of facepalms. The title later changed to what it is now, "Facepalming Hecatombchire." A hecatomb is indeed the sacrifice of 100 cattle, typically associated with Hecate; I merged the words to connect the plentiful facepalms with the Nine-Headed Cave Cow. "Hetacomb" is not a word, although I note that google does find definitions for it equivalent to "hecatomb," apparently because people on the internet are confused sometimes.

[Aoslare]

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

keep getting banned from their conferences.

This comic is penetratingly relevant to the current sub-stage of retrioactivity. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

To you two or I, perhaps. But these are philosophers we're talking about. Y'know, the people who have difficulty understanding how arrows move. Thing is, we'd be happy to explain the concept to them, but people with math backgrounds keep getting banned from their conferences.

Oh, it's philosophers we're dealing with?

Well, I rescind my statement, then.

[Lilith]

Originally Posted By: The Turtle Moves

You know, for the longest time I thought that Slartie's title was "Facepalming Hetacombshire". I finally googled it and learned that a hetacomb is a massive sacrifice involving the slaughter of a hundred oxen. Which was interesting, but made no sense.

also, a hecatonchire is a big dude with 100 arms

[Aoslare]

Hello again.

Can you see through a wall?

Can you see through human skin?

X-rays see through solid,

or so-called solid objects.

There are things in life that exist,

and yet our eyes cannot see them.

Have you ever seen something startling

that others cannot see?

Why are some things kept from our vision?

Is life a puzzle?

[Dintiradan]

Wait a second. Am I the only one who's having Time Cube flashbacks?

 

Speaking of X-rays, I went to the mediclinic yesterday. There was a power surge, or perhaps a brief power outage, and all the computers had to be rebooted. I asked one of the receptionists why they weren't any safeguards for this. What if there was an X-ray machine running when there was a power outage. What would ensure the shutter would close before overexposure? She just gave me a horrified look in response. Reassuring.

[nikki.]

Originally Posted By: Dintiradan

What if there was an X-ray machine running when there was a power outage. What would ensure the shutter would close before overexposure? She just gave me a horrified look in response. Reassuring.

And now we know why all superheroes come from Canada.

[Student of Trinity]

X-ray machines require power. They don't just open a shutter in front of a lump of radium.

[Aoslare]

Sometimes nature plays tricks on us

and we imagine we are something

other than what we truly are.

Is this a key to life in general?

Or the case of the two-headed schizophrenic?

Both heads thought the other was following itself.

Finally,

when one head wasn't looking,

the other shot the other

right between the eyes,

and,

of course,

killed himself.

[Skwish-E]

The shutter on an x-ray machine is held closed unless power is applied to it to keep it open.

[Aoslare]

THIRD OF THE CAPITAL POSTS / THIRD OF THE MARQUÉES NOIRES:

The GLASS is SMASHED, or ABOUT or DISCOUVERT to WILL be.

 

Theese post MARQUES the beginning of PHASE TWO, in the MIDSTL of PHASE ONE.

 

RETRIOACTIVITY S HDDN N TH MSSNG VRCHRS LK MMRTLR SLS

TWO shall be the convenation of the Slaty Satyrsature. All of the MMBRS are GTHRD and are convenationing in the convenation center. As befits its statuesque status in the MIDSTL, the convenation center can be not in the centrifuge thread.

 

TWO MSSNG CMMNC!