Kyshakk Koan Valdain the King Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 A lot of you know erika as a valiant mage and a disgruntled Dirgesinger who cøuldnt stop mixing mandrake root and drinking ogre grog. But I know her as a husband and a friend. I could not stop my valiant adventures soon enough and decided to continue as life with my wife. But all was not well. I decided that I needed more protection. I cast an exsanguination spell on the nearest ogre's arms and made him an ally. Without the use of his arms he was as useless as spit. But with enough grog and enchantments, he would be an excellent ally. No one would fear an ogre without arms but I know too well that this one's head was hard as a rock. Excellent for ramming, much like the thahd-like warriors of old. While living with Spineshank the ogre, they had an easy life of peace. But eventually peace is not enough. With exsanguination magic present in erika's calculations, she soon discovered a threat in Avernum. A threat? How? They took out the trash with Grah Hoth years ago and Sstthhss was more dead than a brahmin-burger....medium radiated So it turns out that I would be needed to accompany milady erika of awesome sauce on a journey to fight grah hoth's uncle or something. But why the heck would I have to do that. How many family members does this guy have? Do I have to pigstick each one when they come flying out of antarctica? Answer-I don't know how many uncles or former roommates Grah Hoth has. But one thing I do know-erika is full of awesome and my quest isn't over. So now its time yet again to become the human trash compactor with my sword. A blender of death to enemies. What will happen with me and my dear erika? You will find out once Avernum 2 Crystal Souls comes out. All games are not created equal, all avernum games are epic awesomeness and you should only fill more money to spiderweb's account. When Avernum 2 Crystal Souls is out I will reveal more of my dear erika of lamancha. Until then, only avernum awesome sauce comments here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 A lot of you know erika as a valiant mage and a disgruntled Dirgesinger who cøuldnt stop mixing mandrake root and drinking ogre grog. But I know her as a husband and a friend. Well. I'm mildly confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Hmm. I guess this isn't spam. I guess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Aran Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 what. nikki. and Kelandon 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I'm not really sure what's going on here. Kinda reminds me of travesty, only without the nonsensical funny, this just being nonsensical. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasoned Roamer Thynar Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 You'll be happy to know that Avernum 2 is already out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 I almost thought this was a visit from Scorpius. Although, in the vein of awesome sauces, I think your run-of-the-mill salsa roja takes the cake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody The Reverend Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Beurre Blanc. Game over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Valdain the King Posted September 12, 2013 Author Share Posted September 12, 2013 Its very true that the events shared existed for a brief moment. Enough of that moment made it so surreal that it is now fact. Forget the hawthorn garbage and jarzadi the school boy nonsense-this will be the most epic thing to behold when the remake comes out. It will be like the first time Jack Nicholson bit down on a cantaloupe. All I ask is that you give support for Jeff Vogel and maybe buy one of his games on steam or gog as they are cheap. That is money to make this story even more reality and that game have more chance to come out. Im going to do that right now to lead as example. I already beat all the Geneforge games but seeing as I haven't purchased Nethergate as it isn't on gog, Im buying it on steam! Follow in example, lead and victory is a reality. Where did Erika go? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk adc. Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 A lot of you know erika as a valiant mage and a disgruntled Dirgesinger who cøuldnt stop mixing mandrake root and drinking ogre grog. But I know her as a husband and a friend. I could not stop my valiant adventures soon enough and decided to continue as life with my wife. Analyzing.... Analyzing.... Analyzing.... Analyzing.... Analyzing.... . . . . . Jar Jar Binks just became a quadruple-bladed Jedi Consular? ----- -Nightwatcher Triumph and Little Fyora 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Questionably Legal Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 A lot of you know erika as a valiant mage and a disgruntled Dirgesinger who cøuldnt stop mixing mandrake root and drinking ogre grog. But I know her as a husband and a friend. I could not stop my valiant adventures soon enough and decided to continue as life with my wife. Here is the best a sane mind can comprehend such unearthly babble. ~translation start~ Erika was apparently the veiwpont character(henceforth known as V)'s husband (and friend!)... but V ditched her(him?) to live with his/her wife. Feeling guilty about doing that, V sent an armless (but hardheaded) ogre to protect Erika, only to be roped into fighting Grah-hoth's demonic(more than average) extended family member(s).To be continued. Pay much monies for A2:CS & leave complimments. ~end translation~ ...So far as I can tell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Kelandon Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 It will be like the first time Jack Nicholson bit down on a cantaloupe. ... I'm not sure if this is brilliantly incoherent or just incoherent. But it's something, all right. And that something is incoherent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 I call Dada, whether or not it intends to be. Maybe especially if it isn't supposed to be Dada. —Alorael, who has thus elevated it to high art. Be appreciative, O unenlightened peons. A less presumptuous name. and nikki. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk adc. Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Here is the best a sane mind can comprehend such unearthly babble. ~translation start~ Erika was apparently the veiwpont character(henceforth known as V)'s husband (and friend!)... but V ditched her(him?) to live with his/her wife. Feeling guilty about doing that, V sent an armless (but hardheaded) ogre to protect Erika, only to be roped into fighting Grah-hoth's demonic(more than average) extended family member(s).To be continued. Pay much monies for A2:CS & leave complimments. ~end translation~ ...So far as I can tell. Wait... that was quite messed up even with QuickLex's translation... So this guy: Was Erika's husband? I don't get it, is this a fanfiction thread or a simple explanation turned poetic ----- -Nightwatcher Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasoned Roamer GoodOld Jack Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Avernum and V for Vendetta? Good mix, you Sign me up for that adc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Questionably Legal Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 No, no 'twas but a coincidence in naming. Veiwpoint char = V It does add to the ridiculosity though. adc. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Valdain the King Posted September 14, 2013 Author Share Posted September 14, 2013 Would things change if Emperor Hawthorn was somehow related to my wife erika? I am not saying it could get worse but if that was the case then we'd have some things to discuss. Might make for an interesting middle saga gap. Just a thought for the interlude when the 2nd game comes out in 2014. In other news, I think I need to consult with a professional script writer. This is obviously not my calling and it gets more confusing every time I look at it, haha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Mosquito---Slayer Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 it gets more confusing every time I look at it.. You aren't the only one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Little Fyora Posted September 14, 2013 Share Posted September 14, 2013 This thread is quite intriguing, partly because it appears to be nonsensical at first sight (it may not actually be so). I'm copying the OP's post and all of your replies into my psychology folder for later dissemination, analysis and deduction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody The Reverend Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 Would things change if Emperor Hawthorn was somehow related to my wife erika? Talk about awful in-laws Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt MMXPERT-seraph of thermodynamics Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 You think Hawtherone is bad? wait till you see Hawtertwo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan Valdain the King Posted September 15, 2013 Author Share Posted September 15, 2013 alright, so I did a little research and came upon a consultant who helped me clear up the confusion. It turns out that erika might have originally had an affair with hawthorn which would make sense. The thing is that she won't give any more info as to why. As long as she never had an affair with Grah Hoth, thats what counts. The consultant that lent aid was none other than Benvenuto Cellini, a master demon-historian who has been around for every known event in history both fantasy and historical. I should be alright with future guidance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Aran Posted September 15, 2013 Share Posted September 15, 2013 ...okay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Dikiyoba Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 You think Hawtherone is bad? wait till you see Hawtertwo. If that were at all how Emperor Hawthorne spelled his name, yes. Dikiyoba. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 You think Hawtherone is bad? wait till you see Hawtertwo. ...harehunter? is that you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 can all y'all go ask the turtles for your sanity back Lauren CW 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Xaiya Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 ...okay. This thread in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted September 16, 2013 Share Posted September 16, 2013 Actually after consulting with a fellow mod, I'm going to lock this. It's a bit spammy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts