The Silly Sandwich Survey

[Dikiyoba]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

 

7. White or wheat?

8. Jelly or jam?

9. Pickles or onions?

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

11. Grilled or toasted?

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

 

Dikiyoba's answers will follow shortly.

[Dikiyoba]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Chicken or turkey breast, mild cheddar cheese, lettuce, lots of tomatoes, light red onions, light yellow mustard, lots of mayonnaise, and a splash of vinegar on a deli roll.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Tomatoes!

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

I’ve always really hated pimento spread. Ick.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

About once a week.

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Some sort of really, really nasty peanut butter in a school cafeteria sandwich. It looked like dog crap, and didn’t taste much better.

6. If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Probably some kind of turkey club with ranch dressing.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat. White bread is gross.

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam.

9. Pickles or onions?

Onions.

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar.

11. Grilled or toasted?

Grilled cheese, otherwise toasted.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Grilled cheese sandwiches are delicious. Grilled cheese wraps are just weird quesadillas.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

Wraps are less likely to get soggy than bread.

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No. Sandwiches are made of two slices of bread only. Anything else is just too complicated.

 

Dikiyoba.

[Dintiradan]

[Erebus the Black]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Smoked turkey and Romanian salami.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

None, hate condiments, they make the bread soggy and they smell god-awful.

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Ketchup.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Varies greatly.

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Is a stone horrible?

7. White or wheat?

White.

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam.

9. Pickles or onions?

Onions.

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Goat.

11. Grilled or toasted?

Live.

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Their edible.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

You can clean things with them without getting breadcrumbs everywhere.

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

MAN you're making me hungry and I have a blood test tomorrow.

[Goldengirl]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Nothing beats a classic: Ham, cheese, lettuce, and mustard on wheat.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Good lettuce goes a long way in a sandwich.

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

I've never had much taste for mayonnaise, so I suppose I'll say that, as far as condiments go.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Three or four times a week

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

I was once given a knuckle sandwich. It tasted too much like blood in my mouth to be good.

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

A standard Po' Boy, straight from New Orleans.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat

8. Jelly or jam?

Neither, thank you very much.

9. Pickles or onions?

Pickles

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar

11. Grilled or toasted?

Toasted, generally

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Arthur Dent was the Almighty Bob's only begotten sandwich-maker, not wrap-maker.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

We say, "That's a wrap!" However, we don't say, "That's a sandwich!" Until this lingual quirk is changed, wraps will beat sandwiches on that ground.

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

Indeed, but they still must have two slices of bread. So, croque-madames are fine, but the double down is not.

[keira]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Iron chef general Tso's sauce, with ham and Walmart-brand american cheese, grilled panini style with EVOO.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Ham!

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Sauerkraut *vomit*

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

I make a breakfast sandwich daily, but other than that, not much

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Not really

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Sausage patties, fried eggs, and cheese, all on a toasted bagel.

 

7. White or wheat?

White

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jelly

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Neither

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Depends on the sandwich

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

If I wanted a burrito with no refried beans, I'd go on a diet.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

I see the words, but they just aren't coming together in a way that makes sense.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No, because by that logic, one piece of buttered toast would constitute a sandwich

[Dantius]

ON THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE SANDWICH

 

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

 

One sourdough baguette, sliced lengthwise with a light spread of butter and garlic, broiled for several minutes unil golden brown. Add sliced sopressata salami, prosciutto ham, and pepper jack cheese. Retoast for several minutes until the cheese has melted and is soft. Apply giardinera to the now softened cheese, and sandwich the giardinera between the two slices of bread with meat and softened cheese to adhere it. Eat with potato chips, preferably with salt and vinegar.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

 

Tricky. I'll dodge this one by saying "dry-cured pork products" to include all my favorites.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

 

Olive loaf, but you might not know what that is.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

 

On average? Around three times a week, more in the winter, less often in the summer.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

 

Yes, though technically it was on the sandwich. I was eating at a cafe outdoors in a location where pigeons abounded. You have one guess what a pigeon did. You're right.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

 

Six cheese bagel, sliced and toasted, with onion/chive cream cheese, red onions, capers, dill, and lox. Not a sandwich in the traditional sense, but it satisfies he "meat and toppings between two slices of bread" definition, so it works for me.

 

LIGHTNING ROUND: ON THE COMPONENTS OF THE SANDWICH

 

7. White or wheat?

 

Sourdough.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

 

Marmalade

 

9. Pickles or onions?

 

Giardiniera

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

 

Pepper Jack

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

 

Broiled

 

ON THE DEFINITION OF THE SANDWICH ITSELF

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

 

A wrap is the polynomial expansion of a sandwich- altough you can eventually get a wrap so good it is indistinguishable from a sandwich to the fiftieth decimal point, it's still not quite a sandwich.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

 

Wraps may be prepared faster and quickly approximate sandwiches with far less effort required. See above extended metaphor.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

 

No. I defined a sandwich above as "meat and toppings between two slices of bread", and open face sandwiches clearly fail to meet that standard. Interestingly, one open faced sandwich can be made into two sandwiches by the addition of two pieces of bread, thus creating two sandwiches from one. The open-faced stage may be a part of sandwich reproduction. Further study is required.

 

[Mod.]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

One that tastes better than all other sandwiches.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Meat.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Tomatoes. Yuck.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Whenever I want one. Depends on what other food is available, which varies often.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Tomatoes. Yuck.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Anything that doesn't have stuff I don't like.

 

 

7. White or wheat?

Some wheat is good while some is nasty, but white is almost always good, so white.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam, obviously.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Onions. Cucumbers are nasty.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Toasted.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Stack it high!

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

Eat less.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

A sandwich must be stuff between two pieces of bread. Is an inside-out sandwich a sandwich?

[Sudanna]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

A sub, on wheat bread, with lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, pickles, chopped onions, finely sliced red, green, and banana peppers, jalapenos, cucumbers, hummus, several splashes of hot sauce, and mustard. Preferably lots of the less flavorful vegetables, and lots of hummus.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Hummus.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Cheese.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Most days.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Moldy hummus? This was half-eaten, mind you.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

The one I eat most days, turkey and hummus and hot sauce on sliced pumpernickel bread.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jelly.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Ideally, pickles. But a lot of the pickles I see are the brownish-green not refrigerated kind, and I'd take onions over those. The pale green refrigerated pickles, I do like.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Swiss.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Toasted.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

I've. . . never had a wrap.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

Mystique.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

Only if you fold it.

[BJ Back From the Beyond]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Sourdough bread with lots of roast beef, lettuce, red onions, a little mayonnaise on one side and a little spicy mustard on the other. Tomatoes are optional.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Mustard, whether yellow or brown depends on the sandwich.

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Ketchup, the greatest crime against tomatoes ever.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Less than once a week.

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

I'm pretty sure I block those memories.

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

See question one.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat

8. Jelly or jam?

Both

9. Pickles or onions?

Depends on the sandwich, but mostly onions.

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Depends on the sandwich, but mostly Swiss.

11. Grilled or toasted?

Grilled

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Wraps are always contained inside inedible "health food" and are therefore disgusting. Sandwiches are more likely to be edible.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

They're "health food", which doesn't mean a whole lot to me.

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

The purpose of a sandwich is for it to supply nourishment while still being portable. If you can't pick it up and walk around with it, it isn't a sandwich.

[Callie]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Potato bread with mustard (sometimes Dijon), onion, thinly sliced ham, Tillamook sharp cheddar, genoa salami, and whatever I choose to grab from the spice cabinet. Also, I really like Subway's Italian BMT on Italian bread.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Mustard

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Mayonnaise

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

4-5 times a week

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Mayonnaise

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Italian BMT, I guess

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam

9. Pickles or onions?

Onion

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar

11. Grilled or toasted?

Grilled

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Wraps are far messier and more difficult to fit into the mouth.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

Blasphemy!

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

I plead the fifth!

 

[A less presumptuous name.]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Really, a good Reuben is all I need.

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Subway has taught me to love mayonnaise.

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Dunno, I've never had anything too terrible before.

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

As often as zero in a week. As often as five times a week.

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Can't say that I have.

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Subway's Cold Cut Combo

 

7. White or wheat?

wheat

8. Jelly or jam?

preserves

9. Pickles or onions?

pickles

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

cheddar, hands down.

11. Grilled or toasted?

toasted, unless it's just a cheese sammich.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

I've yet to find a wrap where the shell (or whatever you want to call it) had a good texture. I prefer bread.

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

portability, I guess?

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No, but a tuna melt is always good.

[The Mystic]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Liverwurst and onion, preferably a sweeter variety of onion. No condiments, except maybe a little bit of some kind of horseradish sauce.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Mayo and/or tomatoes (though not in a sandwich of the variety I mentioned in #1).

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Any lunchmeat that contains "loaf" in its name.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Probably about once per day on average.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Olive loaf.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

If I knew the answer, I'd tell you.

 

7. White or wheat?

White when I'm at home, wheat when it's from a fast food place.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

I couldn't tell you; I haven't eaten either one in years.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Onions. Definitely onions. They're good and good for you.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Swiss. I developed an aversion to cheddar about 10 years ago.

11. Grilled or toasted?

Doesn't matter, as long as I'm the one who's cooking.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

When you take a bite out of one side of a sandwich, the sandwich's contents normally don't go shooting out the other side at top speed.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

They're not.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

Yes, simply because I feel like disagreeing with the current majority.

[Cairo Jim]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Crumbed turkey breast, with spiced gouda and ranch dressing

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Ranch dressing, but only if it's Paul Newman's

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Mushrooms?

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Varies greatly

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

It wasnt exactly in or on it, but a cane toad was thrown in my direction once and landed on my sanga

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Italian meatballs with swiss cheese, grilled, with avocado, pickles, jalapenos, olives and onions. From Subway of course

 

7. White or wheat?

White

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Can I have both?

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Either or. Some maasdam would be nice though

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Depends what I feel like at the time

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

I like wraps, sometimes more than sandwiches. Sometimes not

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

I dunno, theres something about them that just makes them tasty. And the fact that you can put more fillings in

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

Yep. I reckon anything on any sort of bread could be a sandwich

[Lauren CW]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

My perfect sandwich would have to be a tomato-basil naanwich with hummus spread on either side and egg-salad with paprika inbetween..

 

Before I became a vegetarian, it would have been a steak'n'chicken bacon wrapped godwich that I used to make when I worked at subway. Chicken breast topped with steak, all wrapped up in bacon, on an italian herb and cheese bread, with swiss and cheddar, mayo, ranch, lettuce, and tomatos.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Hummus

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Olives/onions/pickles/mustard. All of them.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

Fairly often, probably about 4-5 times a week.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

pretty much just mustard, pickles, onions, or olives.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Fried Egg sandwich. They're easy to make, tasty, and vegetarian friendly.

 

7. White or wheat?

Depends on the sandwich. Some of them are better with one type, some with the other.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Depends. Jam on english muffins, jelly on sandwiches.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

No.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Swiss. Or better yet, baby swiss.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Grilled if I have to, otherwise none. I don't like bread that cuts my mouth.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

There's no wrap that I could eat for the rest of my life.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

They identify the hipsters for me so I can avoid conversation with them.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No, needs two slices of bread.

[Ephesos]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

Roast chicken, dill havarti cheese, tomato, spinach, and champagne mustard. Awesomesauce. Literally.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Spicy deli mustard is definitely up there.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Mayonnaise. Blech.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

A couple of times per week, depending on how frequently the folks at the office feel like doing takeout.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

Other than mayo where I didn't expect it, no.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

See #1.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Onions, no doubt.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar. Moar flavor = better.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Depends on the sandwich. Chicken grilled, anything with lots of sauce toasted.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Less pointless bread product to get through to reach the delectable filling that is the promised land!

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

More insulation to keep that delectable filling from escaping for the floor!

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No, it is things on a piece of bread. Nothing is sandwiched between other things in an open-face sandwich. I imagine the Earl would be offended.

[Alorael at Large]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

I don't have a lot of sandwiches, so I'm probably missing out, but an avocado, carrot, and spinach sandwich or a tuna, red pepper, and cabbage sandwich would be delicious right now.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Tuna. Salmon comes close, but tuna is better.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

I don't like tomatoes in sandwiches very much, but I think I like mayonnaise even less.

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

It varies by my willingness to cook. Sometimes I'll eat them every other day, but I don't think I've had one for weeks.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

I've eaten moldy bread by accident, and I've eaten some pretty unappetizing sandwiches, but nothing that qualifies as horrible.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

I'd say tuna, but mercury poison would get to me. Either mercury-free tuna or avocadoid, I suppose.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat. The wholer the better!

 

8. Jelly or jam?

No thanks. If I'm going to eat peanut butter, it'll have peanut butter on it and nothing else. And if I'm not, jelly and jam don't belong. But for other purposes, jam is delicious.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Yes! The latter over the former on sandwiches; the former over the latter when eaten alone.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Cheddar, but if it's white and I poke holes in it I can get the best of both worlds.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

I don't do either one, and I'm not averse to either.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Bread is almost always better than tortilla, and good bread is immensely better than good tortilla. It's also much easier to get decent bread than decent tortillas, and I'm better equipped to make the former than the latter. (Not that I make sandwich bread much; I'd rather make bread for direct and unadulterated consumption.)

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

Improved structural integrity keeps those innards in. They're also easier to transport.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

While I suppose it technically doesn't meet the requirements of sandwichness, I'm not going to rain on its parade. That said, you can't engineer much of a sandwich without something to hold stuff on the sandwich on, and once you've turned to the knife and fork approach, you have left the path of the sandwich.

 

—Alorael, who suddenly feels hungry. He's going to go make a sandwich.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.
Less pointless bread product to get through to reach the delectable filling that is the promised land!

So how do people here feel about those sandwich thins. I find them to be excellent - they hold a decent amount, aren't too thick or bready, have good structural integrity, and can double as a burger bun in a pinch.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Master1

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.
Less pointless bread product to get through to reach the delectable filling that is the promised land!

So how do people here feel about those sandwich thins. I find them to be excellent - they hold a decent amount, aren't too thick or bready, have good structural integrity, and can double as a burger bun in a pinch.

So... pita bread by another name?

[Enraged Slith]

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.

If I wasn't a vegetarian, it'd either be anything with Roast Beef or Turkey. I could almost kill for some Roast Beef or Turkey right now.

 

2. What is your favorite filling or condiment?

Chunky peanut butter.

 

3. What is your least favorite filling or condiment?

Grape Jelly

 

4. How often do you eat sandwiches?

All the time.

 

5. Have you ever found something really horrible in a sandwich?

I once made a toasted egg sandwich and didn't cook the egg long enough. Half-way through the sandwich, some underdeveloped part of the yoke slipped out the other side. I'm sure there's been worse that I simply didn't notice.

 

6.If you could only eat one type of sandwich for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Peanut butter.

 

7. White or wheat?

Wheat.

 

8. Jelly or jam?

Jam.

 

9. Pickles or onions?

Pickles by a huge margin.

 

10. Cheddar or Swiss?

Swiss.

 

11. Grilled or toasted?

Toasted.

 

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.

Wrap bread is gross and tastes like preservatives.

 

13. Explain why wraps are better than sandwiches.

I would be lying if I did.

 

14. Is an open-face sandwich an actual sandwich? Why or why not?

No. Check the dictionary.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Master1

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.
Less pointless bread product to get through to reach the delectable filling that is the promised land!

So how do people here feel about those sandwich thins. I find them to be excellent - they hold a decent amount, aren't too thick or bready, have good structural integrity, and can double as a burger bun in a pinch.

So... pita bread by another name?

No, far from it. It's like regular bread except that it's a flat circle instead of a loaf. Pita is totally different.

[Alorael at Large]

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

1. Describe your perfect sandwich.
If I wasn't a vegetarian, it'd either be anything with Roast Beef or Turkey. I could almost kill for some Roast Beef or Turkey right now.

Why are you vegetarian, and does the reason absolutely preclude humanely raised beef or turkey? I ask this as another vegetarian who has no such hankering.

Quote:

12. Explain why sandwiches are better than wraps.
Wrap bread is gross and tastes like preservatives.

Wrap bread is usually tortillas. You can find decent tortillas if you look in most places.

—Alorael, who has turned this into a real discussion of sandwiches. He wins at irony!

[Enraged Slith]

I couldn't kill, this made me a hypocrite, so I stopped eating meat. There's other reasons too, but that was the deciding factor.

[Alorael at Large]

That's always seemed like a strange justification to me. I can't perform surgery, yet if I need surgery I'd very much like to have someone else perform it on me! And I mean "can't" in two senses here: I lack the skill to do so, and I'm also too squeamish to prod about in someone's chest. Still, we all have our abilities and inabilities. I'll happily kill the chicken to pay that surgeon.

 

If by "couldn't kill" you mean you cannot because it bothers you ethically, I understand, but simple inability has never struck me as a good justification.

 

—Alorael, who is now guilty of assailing personal beliefs in an ironic thread of negative import on the internet. This is a great milestone.

[Aoslare]

1-14. Tentacle Crepe.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

I couldn't kill, this made me a hypocrite, so I stopped eating meat. There's other reasons too, but that was the deciding factor.

Yeah, well, just because you're a vegetarian doesn't mean you can't kill...

[Erebus the Black]

W...W...Why is th...th...therrre an article in w...w...wwikkkippedia abbbbout hitler's vvvegggginessss???????

[Dikiyoba]

Wikipedia has an article for everything. Also, discussions about Hitler's diet are quite common, especially on the Internet.

 

Should Dikiyoba turn up the thermostat for you?

[Enraged Slith]

godwins law, dag nabbit

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

godwins law, dag nabbit

Well, I could have reference Pol Pot, Charles Manson, Rasputin, or Genghis Khan if you'd prefer those to Hitler. They were all vegetarians, too.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba

Wikipedia has an article for everything.

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

godwins law, dag nabbit

So the irony of it is that I used Wikipedia to look up Godwin's Law. But when you think about it, the longer any conversation (real life, online, or any other type you can try to imagine) continues, the greater the likelihood of a reference to any topic, Hitler/Nazi or otherwise.

[Sarachim]

Not necessarily. In theory, it is possible for there to be a topic whose odds of being mentioned stop rising after a certain number of posts; in effect, if it doesn't get mentioned soon enough, it never gets mentioned at all. "First Post!" may be like this.

[Aoslare]

I believe your post disproved the assertion in its last sentence.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Words cannot express my joy with Slarty's logic.

[Dantius]

first post!!!11!!!!!

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: HOUSE of S

I believe your post disproved the assertion in its last sentence.

Not so! Godwin's Law is forward-looking, and so is Master1's proposed Strong Version of Godwin's Law. Both make a prediction about the future development of threads. They do not describe the contents of threads that already exist. (Master1's strong version is especially vulnerable here. If we look only at threads that have clearly ended, it's likely we'll find some topics which occur more often in shorter threads than longer ones.) Since you posted after me, your post was backward-looking, so you can't use either of the laws under discussion to describe my previous post.

[Aoslare]

Yes, I can.

 

Also, Dantius, I'm afraid Sarachim dealt logic way more of a blow with his post than you did with yours. Sarachim's post is like a disembowelment of logic.

[Dikiyoba]

Originally Posted By: Master1

But when you think about it, the longer any conversation (real life, online, or any other type you can try to imagine) continues, the greater the likelihood of a reference to any topic, Hitler/Nazi or otherwise.

Godwin's Law technically only applies if you compare Hitler to something or someone. So a discussion about WWII isn't covered by Godwin's Law, but calling your opponent in a debate a Nazi does.

Also, while Dikiyoba is being picky, it's not really ironic to look up Godwin's Law on Wikipedia. It would be more ironic to look it up only to discover that the article has been deleted due to lack of notability.

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: HOUSE of S

Sarachim's post is like a disembowelment of logic.

Gowdin's Law, stated more rigorously, could read "as any thread in which nobody has yet mentioned Nazis grows longer, the odds that somebody will eventually mention Nazis approaches 1." After all, if Nazis have already been mentioned in the thread, then the probability of Nazis being mentioned is equal to 1, not approaching it. Similarly, the probability that somebody will say "first post!" in this thread is not approaching 1, it is 1, because I already did that. Therefore, this thread is not a valid counterexample to my objection to Master1's proposed expansion of Godwin's Law.

Honestly, I don't see what's so disembowely about this.

[Aoslare]

Your statement quoted here:

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

if it doesn't get mentioned soon enough, it never gets mentioned at all. "First Post!" may be like this.

pretty clearly implied that "First Post!" would only be brought up in or around the first post. Your post itself was very far removed from the first post, thus disproving the assertion you made in the last sentence. I don't see what forward- or backward- lookingness has to do with this, since nobody cares if something is mentioned more than once, only if it is mentioned more than 0 times.

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: HOUSE of S

Your statement quoted here:

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

if it doesn't get mentioned soon enough, it never gets mentioned at all. "First Post!" may be like this.

pretty clearly implied that "First Post!" would only be brought up in or around the first post. Your post itself was very far removed from the first post, thus disproving the assertion you made in the last sentence. I don't see what forward- or backward- lookingness has to do with this, since nobody cares if something is mentioned more than once, only if it is mentioned more than 0 times.

Well, you're assuming that the plateau occurs somewhere in the 30s, which I don't think was implied by anything I said. I would argue that, if nobody says "first post" within the first thousand posts, then it will never be said at all. Prove me wrong.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

Well, you're assuming that the plateau occurs somewhere in the 30s, which I don't think was implied by anything I said. I would argue that, if nobody says "first post" within the first thousand posts, then it will never be said at all. Prove me wrong.

There is a nonzeo probability that someone, possibly me, will simply spam "first post!" into very old and very long threads to disprove you and win the argument. Hence, you cannot say for certain that it will plateau at all, simply because you cannot predict the behavior of individual humans with any certitude, and it only takes one counterexample to disprove your assertion.

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

Well, you're assuming that the plateau occurs somewhere in the 30s, which I don't think was implied by anything I said. I would argue that, if nobody says "first post" within the first thousand posts, then it will never be said at all. Prove me wrong.

There is a nonzeo probability that someone, possibly me, will simply spam "first post!" into very old and very long threads to disprove you and win the argument. Hence, you cannot say for certain that it will plateau at all, simply because you cannot predict the behavior of individual humans with any certitude, and it only takes one counterexample to disprove your assertion.

Do we actually have any threads 1000 posts long? If not, you would have to extend the thread past that point before you said "first post!" if you wanted to prove me wrong. And if I saw you doing it, I could jump in and say "first post!" myself before you got there, and you would have to start over.

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

Well, you're assuming that the plateau occurs somewhere in the 30s, which I don't think was implied by anything I said. I would argue that, if nobody says "first post" within the first thousand posts, then it will never be said at all. Prove me wrong.

There is a nonzeo probability that someone, possibly me, will simply spam "first post!" into very old and very long threads to disprove you and win the argument. Hence, you cannot say for certain that it will plateau at all, simply because you cannot predict the behavior of individual humans with any certitude, and it only takes one counterexample to disprove your assertion.

Do we actually have any threads 1000 posts long? If not, you would have to extend the thread past that point before you said "first post!" if you wanted to prove me wrong. And if I saw you doing it, I could jump in and say "first post!" myself before you got there, and you would have to start over.

No, then you'd have proved yourself wrong and all I'd have to do is lean back and feel vaguely superior that I manipulated you into proving yourself wrong to spite me.

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Sarachim

Originally Posted By: Dantius

There is a nonzeo probability that someone, possibly me, will simply spam "first post!" into very old and very long threads to disprove you and win the argument. Hence, you cannot say for certain that it will plateau at all, simply because you cannot predict the behavior of individual humans with any certitude, and it only takes one counterexample to disprove your assertion.

Do we actually have any threads 1000 posts long? If not, you would have to extend the thread past that point before you said "first post!" if you wanted to prove me wrong. And if I saw you doing it, I could jump in and say "first post!" myself before you got there, and you would have to start over.

No, then you'd have proved yourself wrong and all I'd have to do is lean back and feel vaguely superior that I manipulated you into proving yourself wrong to spite me.

The proposition is "if 'first post' is not said in the first 1000 posts, it will not be said at all." As you know, for "if P, then Q" to be false, P must be true. So, if somebody says "first post!" within the first thousand posts, the thread becomes irrelevant to our fascinating, worthwhile argument.

[Aoslare]

There is no way any reasonable person would read your assertion and conclude that by "soon enough" you meant "in the first 1000 posts."

 

Also, now I have proved you wrong even according to the strange rules of your argument.

[Lilith]

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

godwins law, dag nabbit

more like godwin slaw, in this case

Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba

Godwin's Law technically only applies if you compare Hitler to something or someone. So a discussion about WWII isn't covered by Godwin's Law, but calling your opponent in a debate a Nazi does.

also, the law only applies when the comparison is unfair and being used as a conversation-stopper: Godwin was quite unhappy about its use as a "win button" for arguments even when the comparison was apt

[Sarachim]

Originally Posted By: HOUSE of S

Also, now I have proved you wrong even according to the strange rules of your argument.

Thank you for this useful data. In light of it, I am willing to concede that the number may be as high as 2,000 posts.

[Erebus the Black]

Originally Posted By: Dantius

Originally Posted By: Enraged Slith

godwins law, dag nabbit

 

Well, I could have reference Pol Pot, Charles Manson, Rasputin, or Genghis Khan if you'd prefer those to Hitler. They were all vegetarians, too.

Yes, yes I would.

Although that is not what I am troubled by.

What troubles me is that such an evil being is given an entire page just for a personality "quirk", after looking into it I also found a page for Roosevelt's disability which in my opinion is also unwarranted for an encyclopedia to have a page about a man's disease instead of or as addition to the disease's page itself.

This just shows (IMHO) wikipedia's worth (i.e. not very high)

[Lilith]

Originally Posted By: Erasmus

Yes, yes I would.
Although that is not what I am troubled by.
What troubles me is that such an evil being is given an entire page just for a personality "quirk", after looking into it I also found a page for Roosevelt's disability which in my opinion is also unwarranted for an encyclopedia to have a page about a man's disease instead of or as addition to the disease's page itself.
This just shows (IMHO) wikipedia's worth (i.e. not very high)

wikipedia literally has an article titled "List of fictional bears" and an accompanying article titled "List of non-fictional bears". i'm not sure what you expected