Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Eyjafjallajökull has awakened from its nearly two centuries of slumber deep beneath the Earth's crust, under the Fimmvörðuháls mountain pass! Thousands are stranded across all of Europe due to Her huge clouds of ash! Thousands of earthquakes have been detected! Eruptions of fire have been seen erupting from huge cracks in the very Earth itself! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Mea Tulpa Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 *Luminaire *Dark Matter *Shock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall The Ratt Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 I just like the name. It looks so random. What language did it originate from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Originally Posted By: CRISIS on INFINITE SLARTIES *Luminaire *Dark Matter *Shock Crono, Magus, and who? Robo maybe? And Lavos is eleven years late! Tut tut, whatever happened to punctuality? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall A less presumptuous name. Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 Originally Posted By: The Ratt I just like the name. It looks so random. What language did it originate from? Probably whatever language used to be spoken in Iceland. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Mea Tulpa Posted April 15, 2010 Share Posted April 15, 2010 That's 11 years. Or 13 years if we're talking Crystalis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Cthulhu Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Excuse me sir, but this upcoming phrase completely destroys your Eyjafjallajökull. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah' nagl fhtagn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Originally Posted By: The Ratt I just like the name. It looks so random. What language did it originate from? Iceland was colonized by Vikings from Norway so it's Norse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Is it actually Old Norse, or is it modern Icelandic? Actually, it could be both given how close the two languages are. —Alorael, who had lunch with a man who just flew in from the Netherlands. The first question he got on arrival was whether the volcano had caused any disruptions in his travel. The look on his face was amusingly alarmed. He hadn't heard the news yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 Originally Posted By: CRISIS on INFINITE SLARTIES *Luminaire *Dark Matter *Shock Destruction rains from the heavens? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Mea Tulpa Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 I had to really restrain myself not to type that, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 All flights to and from the UK have been canceled, due to the Mighty Eyjafjallajökull's threat to devour any aircraft approaching it! Many are warned to stay in the safety of the indoors! Even the Great US Military's operations have been easily halted by the Mighty Eyjafjallajökull's Awakening! Scholars warn that the effects of the Mighty Eyjafjallajökull may be felt for decades, and may even cool the Earth itself! If Its activities increase, the Earth may be plunged into Eternal Darkness and Winter! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall A less presumptuous name. Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 Ha, so much for global warming! Take that Al Gore! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 But I thought the volcano was an alien parasite trying to destroy the planet??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 The ash cloud. Oh dear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Cthulhu Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 Originally Posted By: Dantius The ash cloud. Oh dear. Imagine seeing this over your town, would cause SO much panic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Ephesos Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 Originally Posted By: Master1 Ha, so much for global warming! Take that Al Gore! DIE. ...seriously, I've been anticipating people saying this, because it's just what happens after a volcanic eruption. Ash in atmosphere -> blocks incoming radiation -> short-term cooling trend -> everyone becomes a climatologist -> I die a little inside. GAH. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 Yeah, the more long-term solution is obviously not volcanoes, but nuclear winter. Go Futurama! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dintiradan Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 Originally Posted By: Ephesos Originally Posted By: Master1 Ha, so much for global warming! Take that Al Gore! DIE. ...seriously, I've been anticipating people saying this, because it's just what happens after a volcanic eruption. Ash in atmosphere -> blocks incoming radiation -> short-term cooling trend -> everyone becomes a climatologist -> I die a little inside. GAH. I think he make joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Cthulhu Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 But what he said is actually true though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Aran Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 An anonymous note was received by the English and Dutch embassies: "Stop suing our banks and we will shut off our volcano. Otherwise, eat ash." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: Cthulhu But what he said is actually true though. The volcano is coming after Al Gore? Uh oh...doesn't he live here in the U.S.? * furtively wonders how to avoid being part of the collateral damage when a vengeful volcano visits one's country * Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Cthulhu Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 No, Al Gore has left the U.S.A to go join the Penguins down in Brazil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Whew. So I'm safe. I can't wait to see the volcano vs. penguins grudge match!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Now I'm seeing the entire March of the Penguins sliding on their flightless bellies one after another like lemmings into the volcano, where each one briefly goes 'Fzzt'. Thanks, Triumph. Though I'm not sure how well this will really work as an alternative counting sheep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 You're welcome. It's for a good cause! They are saving the European airline industry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall A less presumptuous name. Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Yes. I was joking. I am aware of the atmospheric effects of volcanic eruptions. EDIT: I now realize that the true solution to climate change is a gigantic umbrella to protect us from any extra sunlight! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 If only that hadn't been suggested seriously by other people! I prefer the nuclear winter option. It has the added bonus of getting rid of the people I don't like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: Master1 Yes. I was joking. I am aware of the atmospheric effects of volcanic eruptions. EDIT: I now realize that the true solution to climate change is a gigantic umbrella to protect us from any extra sunlight! It's been proposed, and it's actually not as crazy as it sounds. Basically you spew volcanic gases into the air and they block sunlight from entering, and if you calculate it correctly, then the blocking out of the sunlight should perfectly balance the greenhouse effect. There's a section covering it in much deeper (and more accurate) detail in Superfreakonomics (Which I recommend everybody read, along with Freakonomics, too!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 I keep seeing the book on my bookshelf by L. O'RAIFEARTAIGH and thinking of this thread. One day, he will awaken from his Eternal Slumber and the Monster Group will Devour us all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 The better suggestion is to launch mirrors and/or lenses into space to redirect sunlight. Ideally, there would also be some solar panels or something on satellites so the redirected sunlight could do something useful? Estimated cost and time to implement? Let's not let reality impinge on an excellent strategy! —Alorael, who wonders whether all these earthquakes and eruptions mean that Gaia is angry at the humans. Maybe it's been too long since the last virgin hurled into a caldera? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Jerakeen Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 There's a worldwide shortage of hurling virgins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 On the plus side, one of the more astounding things I learned when I taught astronomy was that the atmosphere comes from volcanoes. Something has to provide fresh gases, after all: the earth's escape velocity is not infinite, so our atmosphere is actually slowly but steadily leaking away into space. After billions of years there would be too little left to support life, except that the accumulated outgassing by volcanism over billions of years is enough to keep us comfortably pumped up. Once the earth's core cools and volcanoes stop, nothing will restock the atmosphere and it will slowly go away. This is thought to be why there's so little atmosphere on Mars. Mars is about half the diameter of Earth, so has quite a lot less mass, a lower escape velocity, so it loses air quicker. But it has also cooled faster, because it was a little hot potato instead of a big one, so volcanism stopped a billion years ago or so on Mars, and its atmosphere has leaked away in the time since. Without atmosphere, there's no greenhouse effect, and so since Mars is also farther from the Sun than Earth, Mars is cold. If only Mars were somewhat bigger, it might still have volcanoes, air, and warmth. And it probably did have all those a billion years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious Artila JSMany Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 That's actually quite interesting and informative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Aran Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: Dantius Originally Posted By: Master1 Yes. I was joking. I am aware of the atmospheric effects of volcanic eruptions. EDIT: I now realize that the true solution to climate change is a gigantic umbrella to protect us from any extra sunlight! It's been proposed, and it's actually not as crazy as it sounds. Basically you spew volcanic gases into the air and they block sunlight from entering, and if you calculate it correctly, then the blocking out of the sunlight should perfectly balance the greenhouse effect. There's a section covering it in much deeper (and more accurate) detail in Superfreakonomics (Which I recommend everybody read, along with Freakonomics, too!) Fine-tuned calculation? Just convene the International Council once every twenty years and vote to either nuke the icecaps or increase the solar shade to adjust the sea level! [/AlphaCentauri] Edit: Also, the atmospheric dust is not just counteracting global warming, but also grounding tens of thousands of flights, curbing emissions by hundreds of thousands of tons of CO2. (By comparison, Eyjafjallajökull itself is merely spewing an estimated 8000 tons.) As long as it doesn't get worse, this eruption might have been ecologically beneficial, overall. Of course, if Katla does blow (which is very possible) we're f--- *lamely* ...in deep trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: Arancaytrus Of course, if Katla does blow (which is very possible) we're in deep trouble. This sentence could have been made infinitely better by replacing "in deep trouble" with "screwed". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Aran Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 My original word was fornication-based, but then I ran into the auto-censor and felt that I should probably change it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Now, now, Aran, you're a mod, you should know better than to try to beat the autocensor in English. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity On the plus side, one of the more astounding things I learned when I taught astronomy was that the atmosphere comes from volcanoes. Something has to provide fresh gases, after all: the earth's escape velocity is not infinite, so our atmosphere is actually slowly but steadily leaking away into space. After billions of years there would be too little left to support life, except that the accumulated outgassing by volcanism over billions of years is enough to keep us comfortably pumped up. Once the earth's core cools and volcanoes stop, nothing will restock the atmosphere and it will slowly go away. This is thought to be why there's so little atmosphere on Mars. Mars is about half the diameter of Earth, so has quite a lot less mass, a lower escape velocity, so it loses air quicker. But it has also cooled faster, because it was a little hot potato instead of a big one, so volcanism stopped a billion years ago or so on Mars, and its atmosphere has leaked away in the time since. Without atmosphere, there's no greenhouse effect, and so since Mars is also farther from the Sun than Earth, Mars is cold. If only Mars were somewhat bigger, it might still have volcanoes, air, and warmth. And it probably did have all those a billion years ago. Well, it initially comes from here, yeah, but other chemical, geological, and biological processes change the composition explaining our lack of a rich sulfur dioxide atmosphere . In fact, if you look at the Earth's very early history, before life, the atmosphere was pretty terrible. But early life radically changed the atmosphere in an alarmingly short time to an oxygen rich one. Our first atmosphere was Hydrogen and Helium, but that would've evaporated due to the solar wind pretty quickly, especially since very early on the Earth didn't have a magnetic field. Later on, volcanoes produced a Venus like atmosphere, including, CO2, S2, SO2, CH4, Cl2, NH3, N2, and H2O! But no oxygen. Almost all of the Early oxygen was produced by early cyanobacteria. They also reduced some of the nitrogen compounds, I think. Other bacteria and chemical/geological processes removed most of the rest of the bad stuff. But life appears to be the interesting thing that caused the big difference! So life may be one reason why Venus is still like early Earth. So if you dumped huge amounts of bacteria onto Venus you may terraform it in a few billion years! (Well, a bit too late for much interesting to evolve, considering how long our solar system has left, but still.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Ephesos Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Originally Posted By: cfgauss So if you dumped huge amounts of bacteria onto Venus you may terraform it in a few billion years! (Well, a bit too late for much interesting to evolve, considering how long our solar system has left, but still.) That's assuming we can find a suitably large deposit of suitable archaebacteria, because nothing else is really going to be able to cope with the current situation on Venus. Still, an interesting thought experiment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast VCH Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 According to Paul Colinvaux, our atmosphere now has enough oxygen that plants etc are no longer required to restock the supply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Originally Posted By: Ephesos Originally Posted By: cfgauss So if you dumped huge amounts of bacteria onto Venus you may terraform it in a few billion years! (Well, a bit too late for much interesting to evolve, considering how long our solar system has left, but still.) That's assuming we can find a suitably large deposit of suitable archaebacteria, because nothing else is really going to be able to cope with the current situation on Venus. Still, an interesting thought experiment. I suppose we could always engineer a specific bacteria to perfectly suit the conditions. After all, we've already managed to crate an entire synthetic genome, so in perhaps 10-20 years, we could have terraforming bacteria! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Originally Posted By: Arancaytrus My original word was fornication-based, but then I ran into the auto-censor and felt that I should probably change it. Fornication like this, you need strong words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Mea Tulpa Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Fornication Javilineer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 Mighty Eyjafjallajökull's awakening as viewed from the Legendary Pass of Fimmvörðuháls! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody waterplant Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Originally Posted By: VCH According to Paul Colinvaux, our atmosphere now has enough oxygen that plants etc are no longer required to restock the supply. Apparently if the oxygen level in Earth's atmosphere were to increase by only a few percent then fire would become near uncontrollable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyshakk Koan cfgauss Posted April 19, 2010 Author Share Posted April 19, 2010 Well, more than a few percent (more like tens of percent). But this is a self-regulating thing since fires remove oxygen from the atmosphere, so if it's easier to start fires it's easier to remove oxygen. So you expect to see an equilibrium concentration about what we see. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Originally Posted By: cfgauss Fimmvörðuháls! Okay, now I'm starting to think you're making up these names. Even Icelanders can't be that crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Burgeoning Battle Gamma tehpineapple Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Warning: Large, beautiful image (of ash cloud) Link to image Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk Toby-Linn Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Wow, very beatiful image! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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