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Outside the Ox

Everybody Welcome and Needed! It's 2012!

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The big man had taken over Roentgenium's Age of Castles game while he was busy making watermelon bombs. Sensing some kind of imminent danger, he deftly leaps backwards and manages to avoid the melon explosion, only to get wet in the rain.

 

Rain? In a bus? He looks around. Ah, BJ Earles. He should have known.

 

Actaeon's silver laptop is not so lucky though. In addition to the whoopie pies, it is now completely wet and also smells of watermelon juice. But he's not about to tell Actaeon that. Not yet, anyway. He tries to scrape it clean, thinking darkly about apples. Surely windows computers are a lot more melon-and-pie resistant. He manages to wipe off most of the juice, but that isn't saying much.

 

Big Man(To Actaeon): um....Actaeon, here's your...uh...silver laptop.

 

Fearing Actaeon's wrath, he quickly excuses himself and makes a show of going over to Iffy to help him with the coding things.

 

Edit : hey, nice Spiderbus Actaeon.

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Rosycat does a double take when she sees the motes of light. She watches them move over to Iffy. Iffy starts to turn a disquieting shade of yellow. Rosycat begins to emit a low growl.

 

Rosycat: You know, if you'd just given the doggie bag to its intended recipient, Iffy wouldn't be turning into a Cornwall Muffin right now.

 

Gwynddernlyl Fflaemlyn Morddynne: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! I DON'T WANT TO BE AN YGRAINE PRODUCT!

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Iffy, continuing to shift, manages to come to sense for a short amount of time to summon a script.

 

Code:
beginstate 123; // This script returns self to normal from a freakish transformationif (char_status(ME) != 1) {revive_char(ME); }break; 

 

Light glows and Iffy is returned to normal.

 

Iffy: Just what was that?

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Excalibur glances sideways and places what's left of the bag by Tyranicus. He attempts to be discreet as he returns to his seat but fails miserably. Rosycat glares at him the entire time. He looks over at "Iffy".

 

Excalibur: Well that depends on who the father is...

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Sylae's pizza-eating is interrupted as a dream is projected about the bus.

 

Sylae: I wonder if this is like Tel'aran'rhiod...

 

Sylae imagines Jewels' FT cannon flying towards the back og the bus. She then imagines another box of pizza.

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OOC: WTF, Slarty? I've been identifying as a non-binary gendered person on SW for three years now, and you're still misgendering me? Seriously, WTF?

 

Dikiyoba has to deal with way too much cissexist and binarist bullcrap in real life and definitely does not need anyone adding to it here.

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OOC: Sorry, Diki. As I think you know, I am both aware of, and appreciate, your identification. And half the purpose of this topic is after all to make people feel welcome. So, sorry.

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Slarty: Whoops! I missed the turn we were supposed to take. Oh well, this is just a minor detour.

 

Tyranicus: You're good at those, Slarty.

 

Slarty turns around in surprise and sees Tyranicus standing up, fully healed, and covered in blue woad.

 

Slarty: Tyro?

 

Tyranicus: I had a nice long rest. The yak steak and yak milk were delicious. Where are we going now, Slarty?

 

Slarty turns around, suddenly realizing that he is still driving the bus, and breathes a sigh of relief as he sees there are no trees or other obstacles in his way this time.

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OOC: Apology accepted, Slarty. Onward with the RP!

 

---

 

IC: Dikiyoba snags a few pieces of pizza and stows them in Dikiyoba's pack for later. "Balloons, streamers, exploding watermelons, and now rain? This is what Dikiyoba calls an awesome party." Dikiyoba snaps several photos of the chaos and also records a clip of MMXPERT sleeping and snoring like a chainsaw.

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All the ponies in this thread are CRAZY!

 

(Still not sure if not sure if wants. Reading 4 pages of backlog sounds tedious. On the other hand, someone is CLEARLY roleplaying a Doctor type character with the thing that goes beep when there's stuff. Decisions decisions...)

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Originally Posted By: Beer and Motor Oil
All the ponies in this thread are CRAZY!

<3

Sylae finishes her pizza and throws away the box, then returns to her seat and talks with iffy about how Rainbow Dash is 20% cooler than everything.

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The rain finally lets up. BJ now is soaked, but at least he's clean again. He starts eating his pizza and watches the dream projections.

 

BJ: "Hey, cool. Dreams can make for really great stories. I wonder if-- hey Slarty! What do you mean by 'detour'?!"

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Blinks after day-dreaming. He coughs and pulls out a disco ball, hanging it to the top of the bus, and pulling out a stereo. He pulls out a rose, sticks it in his teeth, and wiggles his eyebrows, sparkling even brighter. Infact, if he sparkled brighter what so ever, he would probably blind the driver and kill them all. he wiggles his eyebrows to the ladies.

 

Trenton: "Any Ladies Wanna dance?"

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Goldenking, whose state of general confusion has finally been lifted after a short conversation with Iffy, notices the wrong turn Slarty took is making the bus head towards the courtyard royal palace. Looking around at the general state of chaos in the bus, he nervously says

 

Err... Maybe we should just take a U-turn to get back on the correct road?

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Slarty: This road is fine. I was just driving to a nice long stretch of road. I don't have any more stops planned until we can activate the engines. You know how when you're in a plane you sometimes taxi for a while until the captain gets clearance to take off? Well, this is kind of like that, except we're just waiting for the retrioactivity engine to collect enough communal goodwill to reach full power. Of course, if you want to stop and get out in the meantime to do some sightseeing, that's up to you.

 

While Slarty is talking to Goldenking, Rosycat has found her way over to Sylae and Iffy and is squealing with delight as they gawk at the ponies.

 

Rosycat: I like the pink one best, of course! ...they all look so skinny, though. Don't they have any, you know, sturdier livestock?

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Sylae: Well there's a buffalo herd out by Appleossa and some cows around Ponyville...I like the buffalo better to be honest. Maybe you can ask Applejack to show you them?

 

That is, if we ever visit Equestria...She trails off and smiles sadly.

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Coughs as no one takes him up on his offer, so he stabs a knife into his pack, which feels squishy, and jumps out the window, grabbing onto the edge of it. He slowly climbs arcross the windows, to the front, and onto the windshield, blocking Slarty's vision. he sits there, not worried about falling off. on top of this, he is sparkling immensely.

 

Trenton:"Hmm. Nice day out."

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Iffy: Slarty, do you think it might be possible to stop by Ponyville? Certainly the device is capable of alternate dimensions.

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Lays down against the windshield, tired of sitting up. He pulls out a cigar, lights it, and crosses his legs, looking up.

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Actaeon: NONE of us are going ANYWHERE if we don't work together! So long as we have people hanging out of windows and going on about ponies-

 

Sylae holds up a weatherbeaten picket sign with the "You don't like ponies?" image pasted on it.

 

Actaeon: ... Surely we an agree on someplace we'd all like to go. Avernum, or Terrestria, or the Moon. The Cretaceous, the Renaissance, or the distant future! We could kill Hitler, save JFK, stage the moon landing and be home in time for-

 

A chunk of melon, thrown by one of the members in the back, hits Actaeon squarely in the chest. He subsides, sits down, and goes back to typing.

 

BMA: (narrating) I am beginning to question my decision in leaving the mountains. The food is good and the company is entertaining, but I fear that we may all be headed to a speedy death if...

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Sylae stands with her sign

 

Sylae: Who else wants to go to Equestria? We could see the Gala and Winter Wrap Up and maybe even Cloudsdale if thing can fly! She begins humming the WWU theme to herself

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Slarty: Alternate dimensions? I'm afraid not, folks. Temporal implants, not dimensional implants. Now excuse me, Iffy, there appears to be some sort of... creature... stuck to the windshield.

 

Slarty turns on the windshield wipers. They don't knock Trenton loose, but they do thwack him a bit. Then Slarty bangs on the glass.

 

Slarty: Hey, Trenton! Are you familiar with vehicles? And what happens if the driver can't see where they're going?

 

Trenton doesn't respond. He just sparkles. Slarty, irritated now, pulls over and gestures to Dintiradan's clone, who jacks in to the bus again. A minute later, the windshield spray jets come on... hard. Trenton is blown off the side of the bus.

 

Slarty: And just for good measure, let's do this.

 

Slarty hits a switch on the wall labeled "Graphics Extras".

 

Slarty: No more sparkles for you. Now, I think it's time we all got some rest. After Trenton gets back on the bus, Rosycat (being an animated husk) will drive the bus gently while the rest of us sleep. By tomorrow afternoon, maybe we'll have the engines going...

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(toActaeonTurns around and mouths to Actaeon,

 

Trenton: "I am partial to Sucia Island myself."

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screeches in pain. he frowns at loosing his sparkles, and turns the graphics back up, defiantly. getting back on the windshield, but this time on the other side, right infront of the stairs, so Slarty can see.

 

Trenton, Mumbling:"Yeesh. No reason to try and break my neck over.

 

He picks his cigar up before they leave, and takes a puff. he throws it to the side, puts some shades on, and changes into some white long clothes, not caring who sees. He lays back again, and mutters,

 

Trenton:"Gonna get my pale on."

 

Pulls out a tanning mirror with the words, "Paling mirror" wrote on the back with permanent marker.

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Rosycat turns the graphics back off and pushes the newly-activated button for the Blastoise wipers. Trenton lands on the ground again, a little more softly this time.

 

Rosycat: Hey, Trenton. I don't have to sleep. I'm a spirit in a shell. So I can do this all night -- and will if I have to. The sparkles drain the engines, and your antics are bringing the retrioactivity power down too. Why don't you try generating some communal goodwill? When the engines are doing better, we can turn the sparkles back on.

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Sighs and gets up off the ground. he walks in, breaking his mirror in half, and throwing the glass to the ground. he sits at the steps, watching out the door's glass. He pulls out a golden SMG,and polishes the gun.

 

Trenton:*incoherent words*...Meant...be fun...stupid bus.

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Drakefyre: Hey, keep it clean, Trenton!

 

James ruggages in the box for a moment, and finds the hidden compartment. Feeling his hand close around the right mask, he subtly changes without anybody seeing, before turning to Dintiradan (who he assumes is still sitting next to him.

 

Lazarus: So, where's Ephesos?

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puts it away and takes off his shades, polishing them next. He yells to Drake,

 

Trenton:"BAH HUMBUG!"

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Originally Posted By: *Bus halts, doors open.*
before turning to Dintiradan (who he assumes is still sitting next to him.[/i]


OoC: I edited the map to make it so. I don't know how much use it's actually getting, but I think enough people are looking at it to justify keeping it relatively accurate.

Edit: Actaeon: My vote's for Alexandria at the height of Macedonian power!

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I get up and attempt to take some pictures of Trenton. "Huh. It seems we'll never know whether Twilight vampires show up on camera or not. All the photos show is glare. It's like trying to photograph a body of water at noon through a cut diamond."

 

Dikiyoba makes it to the front of the bus. "Hey, Rosycat, why don't we go somewhere with scenery and slow down enough to watch it go by? This featureless plain we're racing through is no fun. We could go see the Grand Canyon, or the redwoods, or the Rockies--well, no, not the Rockies, because once Slarty takes the wheel again he probably drive us right off a cliff. He'd probably drive us off the edge of the Grand Canyon too, despite the fact that cars aren't allowed to get too close to the edge. So Dikiyoba guesses that leaves the redwoods. Maybe we'll see a marbled murrelet, or even Bigfoot!"

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Takes Dikiyoba's camera, and says to them,

 

Trenton:"No photo's."

 

crushes the camera in his hands

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Excalibur: Someone get the stake and garlic!

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Lazarus: Forget the stake and garlic, I'm sure I have a
mask in here somewhere...

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BJ goes back to scribbling in his notebook, occasionally looking up to take note of what Trenton is up to. After a while, he puts away his notebook and looks around the bus. BJ is getting board, and that usually means chaos will follow. Well, more chaos anyway.

 

BJ: "So, hey, are we actually going someplace? I can't really think of anywhere I want to go, so I guess I'm just along for the ride."

 

BJ then decides to conjure up a thirty pound bottle of ink and starts contemplating what he can do with it.

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Blinks, licking his lips thirstily. He looks from person to person.

 

 

Trenton:"Really? Because I havent drank anything since the start of the trip, you wont stop looking at me, thats it, isn't it. It would have been nice to stop and think about me when getting pizza."

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"Dude, Dikiyoba's camera. Not cool." Dikiyoba salvages the memory card from the wreckage. "You owe Dikiyoba three, no, four, no, make it five hundred dollars for a new camera." Without waiting for an answer, Dikiyoba hurries back to Trenton's bag and searches for money. "Um. We appear to have another casualty back here." Dikiyoba hurries away from the body in the bag with the reparation money and pulls out an order form for a new camera.

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Actaeon: Do you shoot film, Diki? If so, you can borrow my old Nikon.

 

He offers Dikyoba a beat up SLR with a fixed 55 mm macro on it.

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blinks.

 

Trenton:"Wait, There was someone in the bag, dead? Kewl! Give me the body. I'll feed off that. Oh, and how much did you take?"

 

Takes the money from Dikioba's hands, and checks it. He curses, takes 100 back, and gives it back to the non-gender dino-pic thing.

 

Trenton:"Thief..."

 

Takes Nightwatchers body, and drags the bloody mess into the darkness at the back of the bus.

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I decline Actaeon's offer and send off my order form. A new camera appears in my hands. I decide I've had enough trouble for today and put Trenton on my ignore list.

 

After reviewing the photos from today and finally eating the stowed pizza, Dikiyoba settles down to sleep for the night.

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After finally feasting, I get up, stretch, and wander to the front of the bus. I turn to the strange pink cat.

 

Trenton:"Wait, I am confused. Where are we going now?"

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Actaeon: It's dark out, Trenton. Unless you have a GPS on you, I suggest you focus on sleep or trying to entertain yourself.

 

He illustrates his point by taking several faux-artsy closeups of the seat, the window, and Tyran's foot. He finally grows bored, stows his possessions in a rusty foot locker, pulls out a quilt, and dozes.

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Sylae watches as the camera-related drama ensues. Finally, she excuses herself from her conversation and walks to the front of the bus.

 

Sylae: Trenton, I think we need to have a serious discussion about your behaviour on this bus. You're disrupting the friendship and harmony and I won't stand for you breaking Dikiyoba's camera like that. What's going on?

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The Ratt had been enjoying the scenery after dinner and had dozed off a while ago, missing Trenton's activity and the discussion of where to go. He continues to sleep.

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Dintiradan has been looking at Actaeon's map, and closes it after making a minor change.

 

Dintiradan: Hmm, not bad. Though using one of my temporary avatars was kinda confusing. I mean, I've already changed it again.

 

Tyranicus: Um, shouldn't you be marking this as OOC?

 

Dintiradan: Nah. This is just like one of them 'chatter' RPs, and the rules were always fast and loose with those anyway. It's not at all like the story RPs we used to have here.

 

Tyranicus: Heh, those were awesome.

 

Dintiradan begins fishing around in the box of masks next to him.

 

Dintiradan: You know, I think I have the cast of Game of Thrones in here if you want...

 

Tyranicus: Oh, ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha. Very funny.

 

Tyranicus leaves. Dintiradan shrugs and starts working on his laptop. After a few minutes, Goldenking looks over, curious.

 

Goldenking: What are you working on now?

 

Dintiradan: Remember what I said to Tyranicus? About this only being like an RP? That's just it, it isn't one. This is just more performance art from Slartucker. At least we can understand it this time; saves me the trouble of looking up Chaucer again. Anyway, it's important to realize that we're not playing characters and making up our own story as we go. Instead, we're stuck in this bus until we build up enough community spirit and nostalgia for us to start travelling through time. Look, even the format is reminiscent of the DikiScripts. Thus, the only way for us to advance the plot is to-

 

A strangled cry is raised from further back in the bus.

 

Arancaytar: NOOOOOOOOO!

 

Dintiradan: Oh hush you, advancing the plot is necessary. Anyway, the only way for us to go anywhere is for us to keep powering these 'retrioactivity' engines. Even if that means making another pithy contribution during a boring Easter evening away from home.

 

Dintiradan holds up his laptop to Goldenking.

 

Dintiradan: Behold!

 

Goldenking starts reading. By the time he gets to the end, his normally golden complexion is a sickly green.

 

Goldenking: That's... that's in remarkably poor taste.

 

Dintiradan: Exactly. With Slartucker around, it's safest not to do things in good taste. Trust me.

 

By this time, Tyranicus has returned to his seat.

 

Tyranicus: So, are we going to do anything about Trenton?

 

Dintiradan: Right, because in this RP I've been the perfect model of a non-disruptive character. Look, if it makes you feel any better...

 

Dintiradan pulls out a rusty walkie-talkie.

 

Dintiradan: Dintiradan to Weather Balloon. Requesting backup. Over.

 

Tyranicus: That's not helping.

 

Dintiradan: Right, that's delegating. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've made enough inside references to last me a week of posts. I'm going back to working on my thesis.

 

Goldenking: You mean YouTube.

 

Dintiradan: Whatever.

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The big man had been snoozing happily at the back of the bus.

 

Having enjoyed a comfortable little siesta, he wakes up, yawns, stretches, and looks around.....only to find that most of the members have only just gone to sleep, and all the others are wearing mournful expressions, as if they had learnt that the sky was about to fall on their heads.

 

Big Man: What happened over here ?

 

Sylae gives him a detailed account of all the happenings on the bus.

 

Big Man: Ah, so we've lost our insanity. Well, we'll soon put that right.

 

BJ Earles tries to summon a music system, and fortunately, for once, that is exactly what gets summoned up. Young Justin Bieber's voice fills the bus, a rendering of his latest hit song "Humpty Dumpty".

 

Sylae and Jewels are thrilled, being Bieber fans. The big man begins performing a Hula dance. Goldenking starts dancing in a rumbling, earthquaky sort of way which sets the bus vibrating wildly and throwing many of the Spiderwebbers from their seats.

 

After much convincing, Dintiradan, Dikiyoba, Slarty and Aran join in the dancing too.

 

(Actaeon's Map)

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