The Isle of Big-Ail

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

The Isle of Big-Ail

 

Revived by the wicked priest Anohar, the new Anama Church has spread evil since at least before the year 833. People far and wide have been subdued by its seductive call, with promises not worth the time. People were persecuted and subject to other undeserved punishment. It is a dark organization indeed.

 

The Anama has bended the minds of common people with the promise of relief from troubles of the times. When the roach plague struck on the Isle of Bigail, also the location of the Anama’s headquarters, free healing was offered, with the priority to members and serious candidates. Who in his right mind wouldn’t? A healing spell was offered for free by an Anama administrator in a small town in the Monroe province, where it was taking its toll from the Golems. Easy access to powerful Priest spells and alchemical recipes were offered to adventurers who would give up their magic to become less powerful in the world, and thus, less influential in the critical, dangerous work environment. And finally, in the same area, mind-bending narcotic drugs were shipped to Gale in Monroe, where most of the money was sent to fight the most powerful monsters of all (Golems and Drakes in particular), explaining why that city in particular was so ineffective in fighting the monsters and how the Anama became so rich at the same time. These drugs were secretly being produced in and around the Isle of Bigail by farmers who were instructed to do so under secret penalties.

 

It is said that Anama members would not interact with people not associated with their clique because it made them feel uncomfortable. Although this is true to an extent, the major reason is because Anama leaders instructed their underlings to shut themselves off from the outside world, receiving all news and propaganda from its own shameless Church. Questions of acceptance into the Church were rigged to make the listener sympathetic (such as the story of a very young girl happening to die in a magical experiment gone wrong, somehow supposedly discrediting the value of magery entirely). The real, secret agenda of the Anama Church was to cut itself and as many members as it could muster to gain off from the Empire and the world. Although this is generally admirable, it is not in the strict sense because of its intention: Isolated domination. The Anama wanted to create a subliminal form of slavery of its own worse than the Empire. Mages were forced into hiding, people of opposing views in the area were persecuted and jailed, and the non-Anama mayor of Shayder suffered an attempted assassination by poisoning. Imperial soldiers wandering about the Island of Bigail were in terrible shape as opposed to the Anama members fighting for what was supposedly the same cause of removing the cockroach plague.

 

To go on further about the cockroach plague, it is suspected that the Anama knew about the location of the Filth Factory and the solution to the plague the whole time, but kept the knowledge discreet and refused to reveal such information. It is suspected that the Anama were in contact with the Vahnatai and helped in the creation of the plague because of the common cause to exterminate Empire citizens. Such evidence is that there were many human items within the factory, and that magical engineers created signs that shifted languages to the preference of the viewer. That said, amnesty from the effects of the plague was guaranteed to administrators in the Anama. Cockroaches were programmed to not attack priestesses, high priests, and officers and administrators within the Anama business. This enabled the Anama to further her reputation by being able to stand up and heal the sick, also with the threat of failing to heal those in desperate need who were not members. Buildings and crops were destroyed (including a small meditation center nominally Anama without anyone with amnesty there) because the Anama priests hid the secret well, placing a powerful Sanctuary spell over the path that led to the factory. The Anama had no reason for the curse to be lifted, and could only take credit in front of the people when it was.

 

The Anama continues to spread, and it’s up to people like you and me to stop it. Only make scenarios that include the condemnation of this evil organization. Call your senators and tell them that you support listing the Anama as a hate group, and that they rely on your votes. You can also make financial contributions in the form of $5, $10 $20, or even $500. It’s important that we eliminate the spread of their terrorist agenda NOW. If you would like to donate, please print out and complete the form below.

Send completed form and payment to:

Ermarian Religious Watch

7727 46th Place W.

Mukilteo, WA 98275

 

Make checks payable to “Christopher Fossedal”

 

_ Yes! I would like to help stop the Anama terrorists in their tracks! I am sending my donation in the form of:

_cash

_check

 

I am sending:

_$5

_$10

_$20

_$500

_Other:____

 

_ No, I am not able to contribute financially now, but you are in my prayers. Please sign me up for the following e-newsletters:

 

_NOM (National Organization of Magery)

_MAA (Mothers Against Anama)

_The Naked Vahnatai

_The Truth, the Whole Truth, and Nothing but the Truth

_Divine Lucre’s “You can take it to the bank”

_Anti-Anohar Weekly

[John S]

What are you expecting us to do? Is this supposed to be a fan-fic thingy, or is it a joke, or is it secretly uploading a virus to our computers as we read...

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

It's the truth! Somebody had to say it! It's a service to you! Now somebody had better raise my Karma for this...

 

(P.S. Please make a contribution )

[Dark Mage]

Quote:

Originally written by Knot Eye:
What are you expecting us to do? Is this supposed to be a fan-fic thingy, or is it a joke, or is it secretly uploading a virus to our computers as we read...

i wonder the same, but well just let the kid to express himself, because all of us has started a weird topic sometime...

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Express myself? People need to read this before they get sucked into getting a few easy priest spells early! This is not a weird post!

 

(But I might forget you said that if you make a donation )

[Ephesos]

Quote:

Originally written by Chief Spider watching The Simpsons:
It's the truth! Somebody had to say it! It's a service to you! Now somebody had better raise my Karma for this...

(P.S. Please make a contribution )

This is so, so sad... and you even asked for a Karma raising. You do realize what everyone's going to do now, right?

This post is spam, unless you did mean it to be fan fiction.

[Synergy]

I had to boost him a star

 

A) because it was just a bit clever and amusing, and he DID bother to concoct this writing for someone's entertainment.

 

because he lives in Mukilteo...which is about 15 miles north of me (Kirkland) and where I take the ferry boat to see my parents on Whidbey Island, WA.

 

P.S. Hey Christopher, did you appreciate Paulsbo and Bremerton in Avernum 3? Oh yes, and we got Townshend, one of the salesmen(?) somewhere too. (Inside jokes for Spiderweb locals).

[Kingy]

This is possibly the most retarded thing I've read today.

[Drakefyre]

AIEE!

[Poit]

Welcome to Retardation, A Celebration. I'm Wilford Brimley. Now, let's dispell some rumors. One, retards don't rule the night. They don't rule it. Nobody does. Two, they may not be as strong as apes, but don't look them in the eye. It might make them go into berserker mode. They'll come at you like a whirling dervish of fists and elbows. And you may be saying "No, no, no", but all they hear is "Who wants cake?" and trust me, they all do. They all want cake.

 

Just because its random, doesn't mean its entertaining.

[Micawber]

Friends: I exhort you to look past the shallow pleadings and shameful propaganda of the magi apologists.

 

For the record, I will rebut the faithless misrepresentations of the one known as Chief Spider, who has libeled the Anama on more than one occasion.

 

1. The "wicked priest Anohar" did not "revive" the sacred Anama faith before the year 833. In the first place His Holiness is named Ahonar (not Anohar). In the second place he is not a "wicked" priest - his ministry is famous throughout Valorim for its pioneering work in healing and curing. In the third place, the Anama church is not a revival. The true faith, which was revealed to the worthy prophet in person, is a revelatory response to the evils of magic, which are only now becoming apparent.

 

2. The infidel talks of the Anama church as a "dark organization" "spreading evil". On the contrary, it is his magic that is spreading the forces of evil throughout the land, while the Anama fight bravely to hold back the hordes. You want evidence? Just observe the return of troglodytes, rumors of dragons and the introduction of alien beings, the so-called "Vahnatai" to our continent. These unnatural beings are the very manifestations of magical corruption. Only the faithful will survive their touch.

 

3. The villain has made a disingenuous suggestion that the offering of free healing and curing to Anama members first was, in some way, a sinister attempt to increase the numbers of our flock. Nothing could be further from the truth. This prioritization was merely a sensible response to the circumstances. Plainly with so many sufferers to treat, it makes sense to heal the faithful first, so that they may use their faith in the healing of others. In this way the healing capacity available is increased. I ask you all, in a crisis, how could you justify acting differently?

 

4. The deceitful one has said that offering skillful prayers to adventurers is an attempt to make them less powerful and influential. In the Anama church we recognize that, in these dangerous times, adventurers are a necessary remedy for the many troubles that cannot be addressed by the civil and military authorities alone. And we dispute entirely the charge that Anama adventurers are in anyway less powerful than their magical counterparts. There is clear evidence that this is not the case - for was it not a legendary band of devout Anama adventurers who ended the Plagues of Valorim? Indeed, it was they who interceded with the Empress on behalf of the Church, thus securing us kinder treatment from the government authorities.

 

5. The slanderer accuses the Church of being responsible for producting and shipping the evil Skribbane drug to Monroe. This charge is totally without foundation. The teachings of the Anama faith absolutely prohibit the use of this foul drug and it would certainly not be produced in any Anama settlement. The Church has fought daily against the scourge of this weed and has taken every possible measure to prevent it from spreading. There is simply no evidence for the Chief Spider's claims. The spread of skribbane into the City of Gale was due to a criminal syndicate with the complicity of the Mayor. The Church made vociferous protests but did not have sufficient influence in that benighted town to prevent it.

 

6. He states that "Anama leaders instructed their underlings to shut themselves off from the outside world". This is quite evidently not the case. The continent of Valorim is replete with our missionaries spreading the true word. It is true that the hard working farming townsmen and townswomen on the Isle of Bigail are too busy to chatter with passing adventurers, as they have a hard life (we are working hard to improve their circumstances). But I can assure you that even Anama members passing through would not be allotted any more time for immaterial conversation - at the most a mere nod in greeting. This is a classic case of the Anama church being accused of a failing more common among magic users. For instance, the encantrix Erika and the dragon Athron - these are the ones who cut themselves off from contact with outsiders, on account of their magical perversions.

 

7. In respect of recruitment, he protests that "the story of a very young girl happening to die in a magical experiment gone wrong" is somehow an unfair reflection of magery. Yet, is it not the case that had it not been for magic this girl would still be alive? He cannot escape from this simple truth, the same truth that permeates the entire Anama faith.

 

8. He picks on the "terrible shape" of imperial soldiers of Bigail as evidence of the Anama's supposed empire building. Quite absurd. We all know that the soldiers posted to Bigail were never exactly crack troops in the first place. And at the time he is speaking of, due to the quarantine, they had been serving for two months longer than their normal tour of duty. They were facing a terrible and hitherto unknown magical disease spread by gigantic predatory cockroaches. In such circumstances is it surprising that the soldiers were in poor condition? In fact, it was only due to the good offices of the Anama priests stationed throughout the Isle that the soldiers survived at all.

 

9. To cap it all, the demonic perjurer has the temerity to suggest that the Anama were complicit in the cockroach plague. Such ridiculous claims - how precisely does he imagine one programs a cockroach? Even if it were possible, the idea stinks of heretical magery. And where is the evidence? The very sewers of the city of Shayder - heart of the Anama faith - were infested. In fact, the Church was the sole obstacle standing in the way of the cockroaches. And need I remind you all that evidence found in the filth factory suggested the cockroach plague was in reality caused by magical beasts: dragons?

 

Now finally, I ask you to consider who is behind this campaign of deception. Who, or should I say, what? A talking spider: the worst of all magical monsters, a being which specialises in driving other beings insane with its high-pitched voice and meaningless drivel. The world must be purged of such dangerous beasts, for they originate in the very underworld. Furthermore, given his request for monetary donations, I suspect he is affiliated with that house of evil the Church of the Divine Lucre.

 

If you support the one true cause and wish to contribute to our fight to drive out magic and all its terrible consequences, please don't send us any money. Instead, visit you local Anama priest and offer your time and services to spread the word of the Anama faith and drive back the frontiers of evil.

[Synergy]

Quote:

Originally written by Kingy:
This is possibly the most retarded thing I've read today.

--------------------
Bring back TM

So we can resurrect inane, blighty-tongued bickering and "improve" the dialog?

[Thralni]

Quote:

Originally written by Drakefyre:
AIEE!

*gigle*

This story really is, is.... Umm... so special that I can't sem to find the right words...

However, let him be crazy if he wants too. After all, I myself strarted a fortune teller company...

[John S]

Quote:

Originally written by Synergy67:

Quote:

Originally written by Kingy:
This is possibly the most retarded thing I've read today.

--------------------
Bring back TM

So we can resurrect inane, blighty-tongued bickering and "improve" the dialog?

He has created many scenarios in both BoA and BoX, and by removing him from the community we are hurting ourselves more than him.

EDIT: Removed the more rude parts and a long speech.

[nikki.]

Well this lot cheered me up no end. I was rather surprised that Drakey didn't jump to the Anama's rescue in a flowery skirt of some kind though... He loves the institution, which being a Vahnatai, is no mean feat.

[Arch-Mage Solberg]

As you all know, I'm a mage of no small skill. To say the least I can't determine whether the Anama are evil or not. I do believe that their beliefs are a bit wierd. To say to not use magic because a few people used it for bad, that's stupid. If they say that why don't they also say 'Don't breathe'. The majority of mages use magic for good. I can even think of a few priests who used their skill for evil. So the Anama's way of thinking is stupid. And what about the Church of Divine Lucre? It's definately not holy, and they're priests. That's all I have to say on that.

[Dark Mage]

Quote:

Originally written by Micawber:
Friends: I exhort you to look past the shallow pleadings and shameful propaganda of the magi apologists.

For the record, I will rebut the faithless misrepresentations of the one known as Chief Spider, who has libeled the Anama on more than one occasion.

1. The "wicked priest Anohar" did not "revive" the sacred Anama faith before the year 833. In the first place His Holiness is named Ahonar (not Anohar). In the second place he is not a "wicked" priest - his ministry is famous throughout Valorim for its pioneering work in healing and curing. In the third place, the Anama church is not a revival. The true faith, which was revealed to the worthy prophet in person, is a revelatory response to the evils of magic, which are only now becoming apparent.................................

it seems that someone really wants a competition about the larger reply...
and about chief spider 2 things may happen:
a)the people that just thiks that you are a jerk(im noy preciselly saying you are) and will rate you with 1 star.
b)people that apreciate you,familiar,friends.people that think that you are right.and people that pity you and they will rate you with maybe 4 stars

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Quote:

Originally written by Micawber:
Now finally, I ask you to consider who is behind this campaign of deception. Who, or should I say, what? A talking spider

Come on! Don't be racist on me! Is it MY fault I was born with eight legs or where I was born? That's not neat.

EDIT: Oh, and to Synergy: yes I appreciated some of the jokes and local names. I wasn't sure about Townsend and Port Townsend, though.

One More Edit: Please be clear that this is mainly a humor post, so please don't vote me one star if it startles you for a moment. And donations are always accepted

[Synergy]

Quote:

Originally written by Knot Eye:

Quote:

Originally written by Synergy67:

Quote:

Bring back TM

So we can resurrect inane, blighty-tongued bickering and "improve" the dialog?

He has created many scenarios in both BoA and BoX, and by removing him from the community we are hurting ourselves more than him.

EDIT: Removed the more rude parts and a long speech.[/QB]

TM is still making his scenarios, is he not? What's the difference?

If you think that the lack of anything to do with a computer game "hurts" anyone, then I wonder what your values in and take on life must be. As fun or addictive as computer games can be, they are entirely unimportant, and in fact tend to detract from real living, real people, real relationships, real challenges with real rewards.

TM is technically proficient at scenario building. Everything else I have observed about him gives me nothing else I can, in good conscience, celebrate or admire. It violates what I value to promote anger, rudeness, vileness, ego, and hatred. Life's too short to squander it on bad attitudes and bad energy. It may take a while to come to that conclusion, but it will come, even if only at the very end of a life.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

He's coming back in a few months or weeks or so. And his drivel isn't too offensive anyway, he's just whiny and obnoxious like me. I say "put up with anyone who has had the skill and/or patience to create a BOA scenario!"

[Kingy]

TM is brilliant. He has made some of the best (in my opinion they are the best but that doesnt seem to be widely shared) BoA scenarios and his comments on here crack me up. He was quite possibly the best thing this community has, and I await his return with anticipation.

[Ephesos]

TM is definitely a genius, though perhaps in the vein of a mad scientist's genius. Just don't get him into a philosophical discussion... (look for ye olde Human Nature thread if you want an example)

 

It'll be interesting to see him return.

 

There was some sort of debate going on in this thread, wasn't there? What was it again?

 

Oh well, can't be anything very important...

[Lilith]

Please don't judge TM purely by his behaviour on these forums. He can be abrasive, but I would say without hesitation that he's also one of the most helpful and generous people I know. He's put countless hours of work into this community in the form of scenario design and other contributions, and he's been a tireless source of advice, support and assistance for many members of the community.

 

I know that you probably don't see all of this, but frankly, you haven't known him for very long. TM may not be a nice person, but he is a good person.

[Ephesos]

Actually, I concur with Thuryl. At first, I thought TM was just a really intellectual jerk (particularly after the Human Nature thread), and his scenarios seemed to confirm half of that in my mind. However, I talked with him a bit after the scenario contest, and he's okay. Not always pleasant to talk to, but he's not evil.

 

And again, he is definitely a genius. His scenarios have given us all benchmarks for our own progress as designers, and his ideas have redefined what it means to be creative in BoA.

[Poit]

Quote:

It violates what I value to promote anger, rudeness, vileness, ego, and hatred. Life's too short to squander it on bad attitudes and bad energy.

Funnily enough that's my opinion of TM's posts too, and also the reason why I love him so much. I think every board needs a resident devil's advocate to stir up a bit of conflict to keep things interesting. And really where would we be without heated arguments, I mean much as I love all the mutually supportive advice threads and all the caring and sharing that goes on, every now and again it's nice to have a bit of a verbal frenzy from everyones favourite misanthrope.

[Thralni]

If there is something I really hate, than its people who like to shock people, like Djur did recently. I can really go nuts if I see something like Djur did. However, I played a bit of Mad ambition, and thought that what I saw was very interesting and made in a smart and good way. I'd like to see Canopy.

[Ephesos]

Canopy is arguably TM's most complex scenario thus far, at least in terms of coding. It's definitely worth a look.

[Arch-Mage Solberg]

I'm glad to see all this support for Terror's Martyr. I have seen him on here for some time. He may have some colorful moments, but he's helped so many people and contributed a lot to Spiderweb Software.

On a lighter note...I made A4. I asked if I was in there and they said yes. But cheeseball's not there, and they said I'm angry about something. That's all they told me.

[Synergy]

No denying it--a lot of people just plain love getting into a good verbal scrap. It is everywhere on Usenet and internet forums, no matter what the subject matter. I certainly enjoy a good debate myself. I don't enjoy acrimony, though I still sometimes get more heated than I want (like when playing through Canopy, heh).

 

I choose, however, to not tolerate disrespect for others. Clearly TM possesses a fierce intellect, and apparently he is a tireless contributor and generous in a variety of ways as well. I think it's a shame to see such talent marred by disrespect and antipathy turned against people here.

 

As much as I admire ability and creativity, I'm ultimately for the underdogs in life. I hate to see people with formidable abilities who are on top of their game turning their weapons with malice against other people. There is a conceit in that behavior which sickens me. It's also such a waste of energy that could be put to much more productive use. It is good for any of us in life to learn humility.

 

I haven't crossed paths with TM myself. I'll refrain from forming any further opinion of him in the meantime. Everyone deserves a fair shake.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Maybe Cheeseball was eaten...

Maybe you're upset about Rentar Irhono's getting away with killing his pal Erika...

Maybe he was kicked out of the Triad and is getting the retirement blues...

Maybe that Spongebob watch he sent away for never came in four to six weeks...

Maybe he ended up reading every single piece of literature in his tower and there is to read and there's nothing left...

 

Maybe I'm going off on a tangent. I do that.

[John S]

I'm glad you've decided to see TM in action before passing judgement, Synergy67. And whether or not TM is abrasive/funny, he's still caused pages of discussion on things more important than which party you should use.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Anyone with the courage to build a BoA scenario should not be pre-judged. Well, I mean that's not to say that anyone deserves to be anyway...

 

But seriously, what do so many of you have against TM? I like offensive, abbrasive people! Maybe we could have a vote...