The Vulture of Persia: A CKII LP

[Sudanna]

Chapter 1: Hi.

 

Hi.

 

 

This is me. I'm 37, a Bedouin Muslim, and looking for love. I'm also deceitful, just, ambitious, greedy, and a Sayyid, meaning I can trace my lineage back to the Prophet Muhammad or his uncles. In my case, his uncle Abu Talib.

 

Of course, we do not depict the Prophet in our family tree. He's the green circle with the golden symbol. I'm the one all the way at the bottom, on the left.

 

This probably explains why I'm a Shi'a Muslim, unlike most other Muslims. The divide between Shi'a and Sunni originates from the succession of the Caliphate upon the Prophet's death. The heretical Sunnis believe that the sons of Fatimah, Muhammad's daughter, rightfully inherited the Caliphate, while the Shi'a believe that the next Caliph was Ali, Muhammad's son-in-law and cousin, from his uncle. . . Abu Talib. That I directly benefit from the Shi'a interpretation of Islam is, of course, merely incidental to my faith.

 

Not that there's much to benefit from at the moment. Save for the Idrisid Sultanate, far to the west, there are no great Shi'a realms. There hasn't even been a Shi'a Caliph since 835, when Caliph Muhammad III died. Most of the Arabian peninsula is entirely Sunni, and most of it is under the direct control of the powerful Sunni Caliph, Al-Mu'tazz Abbasid.

 

Lustful, envious, cruel, cynical, unjust, and an indulgent wastrel. What can you expect of heretics?

 

However trying the times may be for my brothers in the faith, though, I've managed to do quite well. I left the Hashimid emirate, on the eastern shore of the Red Sea, to become the first emir of the small realm of Tabaristan. That's what the locals call the place, anyways. According to me and my half-brother, this is the Alavid Emirate, as that's the name we took upon establishing ourselves as rulers here. New rulers, new dynasty, and this is the beginning of the Alavid dynasty.

 

Pay no mind to the enormous heretic empire immediately to the west. Or the moderately-sized heretic satrapy to the east. Or the only-slightly-more-powerful heretic emirate to the south.

 

A bit closer. We control five sheikhdoms and border the southern Caspian Sea.

 

After ousting the native Zoroastrian rulers in the sheikhdoms of Dailam, Qazwin, and Rayy, the native Sheikh of Mazandaran and Tabaristan, Sheikh Rostam, came groveling before us and asked that he might be spared the same fate. Little did he know that our mercenary armies were more or less spent, and that he was in little danger. Still, we extracted an oath of fealty in exchange for the promise of leaving him his throne.

 

He clearly is craven, as you would expect of an infidel. However, he is a diligent, just, and honest man, as well as a skilled tactician. He also has no heir, meaning his lands would pass to his liege (me) upon his death. I'm considering hastening that process along before he has any children.

 

Being the senior brother by two years, I of course took the position of emir, granting my half-brother the vassal sheikhdom of Rayy within my realm. He accepted his place, but I can tell his subservience grates on him. That his realm is smaller than that of the infidel Rostam doesn't help.

 

My half-brother Muhammad. He is kind, honest, trusting, brave, and a Sayyid like myself. He is also terribly naive. We don't get along all that well.

 

Between my own sheikhdoms and those of my two vassal sheikhs, my realm should be able to raise around 2000 levies to fight for us. This is about comparable with the Sunni emirates to our east and south, though a mere fraction of the might available to the Abbasid Caliphate to our west. However, as neither the cowardly infidel nor my naive half-brother are on very good terms with me at the moment, I doubt they would provide the troops their oaths require. The infidel is an infidel, and my half-brother never got along with me very well even before I took the lion's share of our conquest and left him with less power than a craven foreign infidel. If we are to undertake further conquests, I will have to either repair our relationships or remove them from power and install someone more amicable to my rule.

 

There's also a mayor that doesn't like me enough, but he has far less troops to provide.

[Sudanna]

My vassal sheikhs won't hurt anyone for now, though. We've all been taking a breather after the recent ouster of the native Zoroastrian Persian rulers and seeing to our own realms. Or I've been seeing to mine, at least. I presume my vassals have been administering their own. I wasted no time in setting up my court and my council, staffed of course by fellow Bedouin Shi'ites brought with me from my homeland back in Arabia.

 

They're competent enough, but nothing stellar. I've set them to work doing various tasks of the realm. Collecting taxes, training levies, converting the infidel natives, etc.

 

I've also been taking stock of our neighbors. The Abbasid Caliphate to the east is a huge and dangerous beast, but the Caliph is preoccupied with conquering the lands to the south, so he shouldn't trouble my budding emirate. The Dulafid Emirate to the south is comparable in size and power to my own, and was similarly wrested from the native Persians by Bedouin conquerers, though long ago enough that they're converted most of the populace to Sunni Islam.

 

Emir al-Aziz does not much appreciate me muscling in on his con game. He's known for his sloth, though, and it's cost him the lands that are now mine.

 

While the Tahirid Satrapy to the east is much larger, it can field only a few hundred more men than our own could if my vassals were cooperative. Its native Persian ruler had the wisdom to convert to Islam some time ago. Regretfully, he was not wise enough to convert to the true Islam, and is instead a Sunni heretic. About half of his lands have converted along with him. He's currently embroiled in a war against the Saffarid Satrapy further to the east for the entirety of his kingdom. If he loses, there will be an extremely dangerous Sunni sultanate to the east. If he wins, his armies might be left weak enough to take advantage of.

 

Satrap Muhammad is lustful, arbitrary, ambitious, and particularly zealous. You know what they say about converts. He's also a masterful negotiator. He also loathes me, mostly because I'm a Shi'ite. Such is the lot of the righteous.

 

To the northeast is the Karen Satrapy, an infidel realm of Zoroastrian Persians. It can field as many men as I can now, so they should stand no chance if I can bring my vassals ino line. They're also hell-bound infidels, so I won't even feel bad about it.

 

Satrap Vandad is loathed by every one of his vassals.

 

Finally, to the northwest is the Marzpanate of Gilan. An independent Marzoban possessing only a single relatively wealthy sheikhdom, Wahsudan is a Kurdish infidel lauded for his military skill. Still, he can raise only a tiny fraction of the troops my realm can and should be easy pickings. He makes an obvious and tempting first target. Surrounded by heretics and infidels, my brother and I will need to continue our conquests if we are to retain them.

 

The Marzoban is kind, trusting, and brave, but also an infidel. I might feel a little bad about this one.

 

A map of our immediate neighbors. It's the same one I used to plan our inital conquests, actually, I just drew over it for the Alavid part.

 

The options before me seem clear. First order of business is removing the infidel from power. And from this world. The land can be split between my half-brother and myself, which should placate him. After that, the Marzpanate of Gilam is too enticing to pass up. The Alavid dynasty has just gotten its footing, and I intend to see it continue its march. Additionally, finding some way to ensure the Tahirid Satrapy remains independent is in my best interests, unless I want to find myself under a Sunni lord.

 

However, I should also see to finding some wives and siring an heir as soon as possible. It's a dangerous world, and even if I meet my end, I don't intend for my legacy to die with me. Nor do I intend to live as a soldier forever.

 

I have also never gone on hajj, despite living so close to the holy cities for so long. Much of my time was consumed by planning and marshaling resources, and I have neglected that pillar of Islam. Completing my pilgrimage can perhaps wait until my realm is more secure. . . but perhaps not.

 

EDIT: Apparently, only so many images are allowed per post, so I split it up.

Edited December 1, 2013 by Nalyd

[Lilith]

wooo, i'm learning stuff~

 

Definitely focus on expanding your territory, and on doing what you can to secure the loyalty of your vassals (especially the competent ones -- as long as they're trustworthy, of course). Eventually one of your powerful neighbours is going to turn their attention to you, and you want to be ready when that happens. You're not old yet, so personal matters can wait a few more years if need be, until your position is more secure.

[Edgwyn]

Great Caliph, peace be unto you. I must disagree with your noble advisor Lilith. At 37 (being ignorant of the game mechanics) you do not have much time left on this Earth to father many sons. You need to find wives soon and carry forth the line of the Prophet blessed be his name. States have fallen many times when Allah the merciful and loving kind has called away fathers whose sons were not ready to rule after them. While it would certainly be ideal to find a rule with a daughter who has not been blessed with sons, I do not know that you can wait for such a happenstance.

 

May your Caliphate grow until it is the true Caliphate of all Islam. Concurring the Kurds of Gilan will expand your Caliphate without exposing you to additional powerful enemies something that concerns me for when Karen falls to your righteous sword. Concurring Gilan will also put you on the border of the heretic Yazidis. They should be ripe for the plucking.

[Questionably Legal]

May your Caliphate grow until it is the true Caliphate of all Islam. Concurring the Kurds of Gilan will expand your Caliphate without exposing you to additional powerful enemies something that concerns me for when Karen falls to your righteous sword. Concurring Gilan will also put you on the border of the heretic Yazidis. They should be ripe for the plucking.

Concurring? I conquer. Or would that be "Conquering? I concurr."? Conker?

[Lilith]

fwiw i don't really know much about CK2's game mechanics and i probably know even less about how to successfully expand an emirate in real life so don't anyone else in the thread take my word as having any authority or anything

[Dikiyoba]

Dikiyoba enjoys this LP. Please continue it.

[Callie]

Let us rein in our vassals as suggested and turn these blasphemous Karenese away from Ahura Mazda.

 

(This game seems really fun, but whoa, information overload)

[Lilith]

(This game seems really fun, but whoa, information overload)

 

ahaha i feel almost the exact opposite way, i want more details about what's going on under the hood!! but yeah the information overload here is definitely coming from the game itself rather than the way it's being presented. nalyd is summarising a lot here

[nikki.]

I await further Nalyd posts. Really interested in what's going on here.

[Sudanna]

Great Caliph, peace be unto you. I must disagree with your noble advisor Lilith. At 37 (being ignorant of the game mechanics) you do not have much time left on this Earth to father many sons. You need to find wives soon and carry forth the line of the Prophet blessed be his name. States have fallen many times when Allah the merciful and loving kind has called away fathers whose sons were not ready to rule after them. While it would certainly be ideal to find a rule with a daughter who has not been blessed with sons, I do not know that you can wait for such a happenstance.

 

May your Caliphate grow until it is the true Caliphate of all Islam. Concurring the Kurds of Gilan will expand your Caliphate without exposing you to additional powerful enemies something that concerns me for when Karen falls to your righteous sword. Concurring Gilan will also put you on the border of the heretic Yazidis. They should be ripe for the plucking.

 

I'm not actually a caliph. A caliph is a religious title, sort of like the Muslim Pope, but not really. It literally means "successor", as a successor to Muhammad as the leader of the faith. There's one for Shi'a and one for Sunnis - though, like I said, the Shi'a haven't had one for twenty-seven years at the 862 start date. Unlike the papacy, a caliph also must be a secular leader, often a powerful king or (as in the case of Caliph Mu'tazz) emperor in his own right. I'm just a newly-minted emir, the Arabic culture group's word for "duke". The different cultures often change their titles. Like how the marzoban is called a marzoban instead of a sheikh, and the two satraps bordering me are called satraps and not emirs.

 

Let us rein in our vassals as suggested and turn these blasphemous Karenese away from Ahura Mazda.

 

(This game seems really fun, but whoa, information overload)

 

It's really way less complicated than it all appears. I haven't been playing for very long and it's surprisingly easy to get a grasp of how most parts work.

[Sudanna]

Chapter 2: It's Not Murder if it's an Infidel

 

While the unexpected surrender of Sheikh Rostam was fortunate, I find it difficult to really appreciate him for doing so. It was, after all, a product of nothing but his cowardice. Still, to murder a man sworn to me, infidel or not, simply out of greed for his lands is a tremendous breach of the feudal contract. My court, however they feel about the infidel, would not look kindly on such an activity. Which is why it must be done in secret.

 

I contact my spymaster, Mayor Ibrahim of Saltaniyeh, and have him travel to the infidel's court under the pretense of surveying my new vassal's lands. In reality, he is setting up a network of spies and enforcers in the province, trying to find anyone in Rostam's court that might want to see him dead or, failing that, preparing the way for the assassin I will have to hire. Rostam hopefully won't notice that "surveying my vassal's new lands" consists of skulking around in his court and having a lot of hushed, private conversations about him.

 

It's only a few days after I sent him on this errand that Mayor Ibrahim returns, proclaiming that it's taken care of. Apparently, Ibrahim's true purpose was discovered almost immediately by Rostam's spymaster, Abu-Bakr Bakrid, a man infinitely more formidable at matters of intrigue than my own. Thankfully, Rostam has inexplicably put a Shi'ite Bedouin who hates him in charge of his spies and assassins, and Abu-Bakr had actually come to offer his support of the scheme.

 

Abu-Bakr is not a man you want angry with you, it seems. He is humble and slothful, devoting most of his time to poetry, but has a powerful fury when roused, and is a master of lies and deception.

 

Sheikh Rostam has earned that fury simply by being a craven foreign infidel, despite his diligent work ethic and sense of justice. His reverence of honesty apparently clashes with Abu-Bakr's lying nature, as well. Why Rostam put this man in charge of anything is beyond me.

 

Ibrahim tells me that Abu-Bakr promised to see the plot through on his own. When I asked him why he thought Abu-Bakr could be trusted to not simply reveal our scheme to his liege, Ibrahim became very quiet for a while before saying that he found his counterpart very convincing. I suppose it's fortunate that Rostam's spymaster hates him, because my own is frankly no match.

 

While waiting for Abu-Bakr to see the scheme through, I found myself at a loss for things to do, as I'm unwilling to engage in warfare without the full power of the armies available to me. I traveled for a day to my brother's court in Rayy, and had an. . . interesting discussion with on of his young courtiers, Shokouh. We are opposites in almost every way - She seems incapable of comprehending justice, she has no concept of the value of money, giving it out freely, and she seems to have no drive or ambitions at all, content where she is. I overheard several of her remarks, and when I moved to correct her, she began to argue! She must not have realized who I was. We soon escalated into a shouting match before the entire court! Grossly improper, perhaps, but I'm rather pleased with how it ended.

 

I asked my brother if he would much mind the absence of this courtier. The court went silent, and Shokouh seemed about to faint, realizing that I was the emir, and doubtlessly expecting to be banished or worse for her impropriety. My brother simply stared at me in shock and shook his head dumbly. "Then," I said, "I will take her as my first wife."

 

She seemed reluctant at first, but she'll come around.

 

On the way back to Dailam, my fiance's horse breaks its leg on a treacherous mountain pass and she nearly falls to her death. Thankfully, I am on hand to rescue her. Her horse must be left behind, but this seems to have convinced her that I will make a good husband. When I return to my court in Dailam for the marriage celebration, it is to even better news. Abu-Bakr has sent word that he is ready to proceed with our plot.

 

Abu-Bakr has been reading too many fanciful stories, but I suppose he knows what he's doing.

 

A few days later, it turns out that I may be too trusting of Abu-Bakr's abilities.

 

The snake will probably kill somebody, at least.

 

Still, while a failure, at least we were not discovered. Abu-Bakr comes to me with another plan in a few days.

 

First a poisonous snake out of Arabian Nights, and now an exploding inn? Whatever happened to a simple knife in the back?

 

Still, I approve it, since he will at least find his stay over a pit of manure unpleasant. This turns out to have been a mistake.

[Sudanna]

Not only was it a failure, but an inn rigged to explode is rather difficult to explain as a coincidence.

 

Sheikh Rostam does not take kindly to this plot. I will have to be wary of any retribution from now on. However, while my desire to see him dead is obvious, Abu-Bakr's complicity is apparently still a mystery, as he remains spymaster. I pray that his next plan is less exotic.

 

Sheikh Rostam hated me already, so I guess it's not that much of a loss. . .

 

My wife, meanwhile, has been asking for a new horse as a wedding gift. I, of course, choose the cheapest one, a withered old skewbald. What does she need a horse for, anyways? It's my money.

 

She seems to like it anyways.

 

And then Abu-Bakr sends word that he's going to try and blow up Rostam again, insisting that all that was missing from his last plan was copious amounts of incense. My doubts as to this man's "mastery of intrigue" are growing daily. However, this time it works.

 

I can't help but make a pun at the news. Maybe this is what people mean when they say that I have "poor personal diplomacy"?

 

Rostam's titles pass to me, and I immediately grant the poorer of the two provinces to my brother, whic hseems to have improved his disposition towards me immensely. Three sheikhdoms is beyond my ability to effectively administrate, and tax collection will suffer, but it gives me full access to all of their levies, which is far more important at the moment. Because, tomorrow. . .

 

Holy war.

[Student of Trinity]

Will the estimable Abu-Bakr now become available as a vassal or servant? If so, should Emir Hasan take him on?

 

If that, too, is so, could competitors get him to try to kill our worthy emir, as he killed the vile Rostam at our worthy emir's behest?

 

If that is also so, then I have one last question, given that it is possible in this game to buy horses.

 

Can one also buy dogs?

[Edgwyn]

Oh great Emir, peace be unto you (I read the second screen not the first one, and it has been six years since I last had the doctrinal differences between Sunnis and Shias straight in my head). Do not forget the viper that you have in your midst. Abu-Bakr betrayed his last liege. While his last liege was an infidel, that does not mean that Abu-Bakr can be trusted. I believe that it is time to announce that Abu-Bakr betrayed his master (something that positively horrifies you) and so you have decided to inflict the full punishment as specified by Sharia upon him. Remember oh Emir, dead men tell no tales, and an ambitious and moderately effective spy could find employment with your noble brother.

[Aran]

... I need to play this game.

[Lilith]

It's only a few days after I sent him on this errand that Mayor Ibrahim returns, proclaiming that it's taken care of. Apparently, Ibrahim's true purpose was discovered almost immediately by Rostam's spymaster, Abu-Bakr Bakrid, a man infinitely more formidable at matters of intrigue than my own. Thankfully, Rostam has inexplicably put a Shi'ite Bedouin who hates him in charge of his spies and assassins, and Abu-Bakr had actually come to offer his support of the scheme.

 

lmaooooooo

 

hopefully our own spymaster is more trustworthy

[Sudanna]

Will the estimable Abu-Bakr now become available as a vassal or servant? If so, should Emir Hasan take him on?

 

If that, too, is so, could competitors get him to try to kill our worthy emir, as he killed the vile Rostam at our worthy emir's behest?

 

If that is also so, then I have one last question, given that it is possible in this game to buy horses.

 

Can one also buy dogs?

 

Abu-Bakr might be a member of our court, or he may have gone to our brother when we gave him one of Rostam's provinces. I haven't checked. Either way, I'm not trusting him with the Spymaster position. He could indeed be used against us just as we used him.

 

I don't know if there are any events that involve buying dogs. Maybe they're a part of hunting.

 

Oh great Emir, peace be unto you (I read the second screen not the first one, and it has been six years since I last had the doctrinal differences between Sunnis and Shias straight in my head). Do not forget the viper that you have in your midst. Abu-Bakr betrayed his last liege. While his last liege was an infidel, that does not mean that Abu-Bakr can be trusted. I believe that it is time to announce that Abu-Bakr betrayed his master (something that positively horrifies you) and so you have decided to inflict the full punishment as specified by Sharia upon him. Remember oh Emir, dead men tell no tales, and an ambitious and moderately effective spy could find employment with your noble brother.

 

Sheikh Muhammad is kind, trusting, honest, and has a score of zero in Intrigue. I think we'll be okay. It's honestly not worth the trouble to kill Abu-Bakr, and it'd also be really difficult since he's so good at it.

 

... I need to play this game.

 

It's only eighty dollars on Steam for the game and all of the (pretty game-changing) DLC!

 

Yay for sales.

lmaooooooo

 

hopefully our own spymaster is more trustworthy

 

Our spymaster has an opinion of exactly zero towards us, making him neither trustworthy nor untrustworthy. He's also only about half as good at this stuff as Abu-Bakr was, so. . . yay for incompetence.

[Sudanna]

The Marzpanate of Gilam is doomed. While I've been bringing my house into order, they've been trying (unsuccessfully) to capitalize on the current succession war in the Abbasid Caliphate.

 

 

Caliph Al-Mu'tazz has died, and his sons have gathered allies and divided his empire in a civil war for leadership. At least three are vying for the title. However, even the suddenly divided emirs and sheikhs of the Caliphate are beyond the grasp of my lonely heathen neighbor. The Marzoban has sent off all of his meager levies, and they all died for no benefit. So, good news for me, my target can't even field an army! I declare the conquest of his single province.

 

 

 

. . . except I can't.

 

 

I do not have the 50 piety required to use the conquest casus belli. 50 piety is, for the record, nothing. Some children are born into the world with more than 50 piety. The infidel Pope in Rome has excommunicated people with more than 50 piety. That my subjects think so little of my devotion to Allah is insulting.

 

But that's okay. We can still declare Holy War.

 

[/img]http://i.imgur.com/nj7AAkY.jpg[/img]

 

Much in the way that the Conquest casus belli allows the conquering of single border provinces, the Holy War casus belli allows the conquering of entire border emirates or duchies, if they are held by infidels. However, declaring holy war tends to draw the interest of other infidels. It can be a risky endeavor. However, since the closest Zoroastrian ruler to the Marzoban lies across the Caspian Sea, I should be alright.

 

Why does conquest require more piety than holy war?

 

 

I raise the levies. The vast majority are from my own holdings or from my direct vassals, with my brother providing only a pittance. I assemble them at the capital.

 

[Sudanna]

Chapter 3: Easy Pickings

 

All-told, the Alavid Emirate is able to field almost 1900 men. Raised from the local populace, most are infidel Zoroastrians, but they will do. Mostly heavy and light infantry, with a scarce few pikemen or archers, but a decent cavalry force. I assemble the army into three sections, with two unlanded courtiers, Maziar and Aghlab, taking command of the wings and myself of the center. Why or how Maziar and Aghlab chose themselves for command is beyond me, as there are much more qualified individuals in the realm, but they insisted they'd worked it out amongst themselves, and would not be dissuaded. I lack the legal authority to do anything about it, so it will have to do. We are unlikely to see battle anyways.

 

 

My vassals are already grumbling about having their levies raised. We haven't even left the capital yet! The crops will not have withered and died in the scant few days we've taken them from their farms! Honestly. We reach the Marzpanate without incident and begin the siege of Wahsudan's castle.

 

 

It's gonna take a while. Barring unforeseen circumstances (and hardly a siege goes by without a sally by the defenders or some traitor sneaking in food or bandits raiding our camps or disease breaking out on one side of the walls or another), it will take about eight weeks for the stores od the castle to run out. Then we can begin the siege of Wahsudan's city. And then Wahsudan's heathen temple. And then Wahsudan's other castle. And then we will definitely have won. The Marzoban may surrender before then, though, if he is considerate.

 

I continue the business of ruling from the siege camp, in the meantime. My chancellor, Sa'daddin, has managed to convince Emir al-Aziz Dulafid, to my south, of some small measure of my worth as a human being. Perhaps he will avoid attacking me in the future? One can only hope.

 

We win the first siege, and find an unexpected prize within.

 

 

It seems that Wahsudan's wife was unable to escape the castle in time. I send a message to Wahsudan, promising the safe return of his wife in exchange for his surrender, but he is unmoved. I don't blame him I would be too. So, she goes into the dungeon.

 

My steward, Mayor Jibril has been attempting to gather taxes in the capital. The peasantry (and the nobility, actually. . .) are eternally resistant to paying the entirely fair and reasonable taxes I demand. Especially the Jizya tax on non-muslims. And Mayor Jibril is no luckier than I have been in forcing it out of them.

 

 

We conquer the city. I scarcely care to know its heathen name, but it is now in my control. We move on to the temple. The long period of camping around enemy walls is beginning to wear on me. More and more, I find the company of my officers and soldiers unwelcome. . .

 

 

. . . but I do my best to combat my desire for withdrawal, and it passes. I find that forcing myself to endure the company of others has made it quite a bit easier to continue to endure the company of others.

 

[Sudanna]

People seem to like me more for it, at least. At some point, people started talking about my "vaunted wisdom" and "boundless understanding of the world". I'm not sure where that reputation came from, but I'll take it. My mayor even corrects his earlier incompetence.

 

 

 

Perhaps sieges aren't that bad, I think. Then I gather my bodyguard, leave my tent, travel to the latrines shared by nearly two thousand soldiers, passing several men starving or dying of camp fever along the way, have my guards keep careful watch for traitorous heathen soldiers while I relieve myself, and return to my dirt-and-grit-floored tent, coughing from the endless cloud of dust along the way,

 

Sieges suck.

 

Thankfully, after his third holding falls, the Marzoban surrenders and flees his lands.

 

 

Since every one of his vassals was an infidel, I gain direct control of all four holdings in the sheikhdom. I immediately appoint good Shiites to manage them, keeping the capital castle for myself. I am still far beyond the number of holdings I can effectively administrate on my own. I will have to find a good noble or two to raise to Sheikh, since my brother is also at the limit of his effectiveness.

 

Meanwhile, the Abbasid Caliphate is in tatters, and the Tahirid Satrapy is nearly overrun.

 

 

One step forward, two steps back.

[Lilith]

so uh is this still a thing

[Sudanna]

so uh is this still a thing

 

For you, Lilith, anything.

 

Pay no attention to the name. We have always been at war with Eastasia.

[Sudanna]

Chapter 4: War with Consequences

 

I return to my court in triumph, and take a new wife in celebration of my victory. Another lowborn courtier of my brother's, she is possessed of an unusual intelligence and scholarly bent for a woman, and is also an envious, paranoid snake. I make her my cunning, envious, paranoid secondary wife. I stress the secondary when I announce it, just like that. It's best to keep wives focused on fighting one another: keeps them from directing that energy towards me.

 

Oh, her name? It's Layla, I believe.

 

I would be tempted to attribute downright genius to her, were she not a she.

 

The time for peace and celebrations is short, though. It is time to begin a dangerous gambit.

 

The Abbasid Caliphate, by far the largest threat to my sovereignty and to Shi'a Islam as a whole, is currently fractured in a claimant's war that looks like it will drag on for a long time. The old Caliph Mu'tazz has just been deposed by his cousin Al-Muhtadi, and reduced to a lowly emir. Well. When I say "lowly emir", I mean emirs other than myself. Obviously.

 

Anyways. This is the new Caliph:

 

Al-Muhtadi is a paranoid and lazy recluse, rarely leaving his heavily-guarded palace. However, he is also incredibly patient, seldom taking a course not carefully planned out. I suppose these qualities go well together.

 

However, two of the ex-Caliph's brothers, either loathe to see the title pass that much further from their grasps or sensing a moment of weakness, have decided to revolt against their cousin and take the Caliphate for themselves. Each has gathered many of the emirs and sheikhs of the empire to their respective banners.

 

They are Emir Al-Muwaffak of Basra

 

Apparently a very learned man, both as patient and lazy as his cousin, though far more disposed toward lying to get his way.

 

and Emir Al-Mu'tamid of Arabia

 

Kind, hard-working, just, extremely devout, and a masterful diplomat. Not all of the heretics are despicable examples of human waste. Only most of them.

 

, whose realms and allies are both considerable. Of the three, I'm told that Al-Mu'tamid is winning the war, but that hardly concerns me at the moment. They are all enemies.

 

What does concern me are the spoils of the empire they're fighting over. While much of the nobility has a stake in this war, some of the empire's vassals remain neutral, pledging to serve whichever claimant wins. Bugha al-Sharabi, the Beyberley of Tabriz, is such a neutral party. Beyberley al-Sharabi borders my emirate.

 

He is a pious and diligent man, a scholar of very unscholarly cunning, and a man who sets his sights high. He is also, as I have regrettably been informed, "incredibly virile". I'm not sure if this is information or propaganda, really.

 

He cannot field as many troops as me. Without a real liege to rally the empire to his defense, he will have to rely on the good will of his neighbors. Most of whom are either Shi'ites or engaged in the war for the empire. It's hardly assured, but if they stay out of it. . . I have a chance to both considerably expand my realm and weaken the heretical caliphate.

 

I declare a second holy war at my wedding, after two weeks of peace.

 

Layla looked a bit put off.

 

 

While I'm still gathering my armies at the capital, I am informed that my neighbors did not have the good grace to stay out of it: the Dulafid Emirate, to my direct south, has rallied to the defense of their brothers in heresy. While not a death knell to my efforts, this is clearly not good.

 

This ally adds about another 600 men to the 900 or so I already face. I still have numerical superiority, at least.

 

If worst comes to worst, I may hire mercenaries as well - unsavory men, but I have the gold to do so, and they did win me my throne in the first place, after all. It's not yet necessary, though - the forces opposing me are yet divded, though they have the benefit of defense. And the mountains that all of our realms reside in favor the defender.

[Sudanna]

 

Just before departing, I discover that my first wife, Shokouh, is pregnant. It fills me with entirely new kinds of dread about the perils I face in war. I find myself regretting that I'm so committed - had this news come a month sooner, I might have delayed. But too late now

 

The same two idiots try to take command of the flanks as did last time - Maziar and Aghlab. I convince Maziar, at least, to step down in favor of Uways, one of my vassal mayors, whose skill in battle nearly exceeds my own.

 

Did I say nearly? It does, completely. But don't tell the men that - they must have faith in their emir.

 

Unlike my last conquest, this one will involve actual battle, and the prowess of my commanders will be essential. These arguments fail to sway Aghlab, though, who I cannot remove. At least he has taken the weakest flank.

 

 

We meet the forces of Beyberley Bugha outside his capital of Oromieh. They are not led by the Beyberley himself, but by a servant of his, Abdullah. We outnumber them nearly two-to-one, but they have the advantage of defending treacherous mountain terrain. The battle opens with skirmishes by our archers, and he has the advantage here. But soon, the lines of our infantry meet, and the advantage is mine. His right flank, facing my left under Aghlab, deserts him, and he soon finds himself outmaneuvered as well as outnumbered. Then his right does the same, and the army of Abdullah is routed entirely.

 

Allah favors the bold and the numerous, it seems.

 

Once the bodies are counted, it's revealed that we have slain more than half of the Beyberlik's levies, and at relatively minor cost to our own. The remainder are fleeing to the sheikhdom of Gilam, my new conquest, likely hoping to force me to abandon a siege to stop them from wreaking havoc. I do not intend to worry about them - Gilam just came into my possession two weeks ago - I could hardly care about any damage they could do to the already siege-depleted holdings there. I begin the siege of Oromieh.

 

 

The army of the Dulafid Emirate has begun to siege my holdings in Qazwin, but if I spend all my time chasing armies, I'll never get a siege done, and then I'll never win. Qazwin can fend for itself, for now. Or, rather, it will have to, regardless of whether or not it can. The forces there are more evenly matched, at any rate - my own efforts will likely be completed before theirs. The siege is opposed by Maziar, the courtier I replaced with Uways. I almost feel guilty about leaving him behind to probable death or capture, but then I remember that he is an idiot that presumed to steal command of my army from me, and I don't feel almost guilty anymore.

 

He is also ugly. I hope he loses that siege of my own castle!

 

Near the end of the siege of Oromieh, I receive word that my first wife has given birth to a son - a son! I can hardly contain my relief - a son, just as I'd hoped. For succession, yes, but also for myself. I cannot wait to raise him to be a tough soldier of Allah, just like his father. I write back that he is to be named Zayd, after my late father. Perhaps instead of a life of soldiery, he will follow his namesake and become a learned cleric? I'm overwhelmed, honestly. A son!

 

 

It makes me all the more anxious to end this war so I can see him with my own eyes. The siege goes on.

[Sudanna]

Welp, I've juuuuuust lost my save files for Emir Hasan, so this is as far as this LP is gonna get. If there's interest, we could start over as someone else, but, well, bleh.

[Lilith]

:c

[Aran]

Oh noes! I was hoping to see how this ends.

[Sudanna]

Well, if we did things right, it wouldn't have ended for another 600 years or so, so that's probably an iffy proposition from the start.

[Questionably Legal]

. . .And then humanity was wiped out by a sudden giant meteor strike.

 

THE END

 

 

 

 

There you go.