Quiz of Knowledge VI

[Niemand]

Despite massive causalities, the fax uprising has been quelled. (We would particularly like to thank our allies, the Floom people of Pollux b, who were instrumental in our eventual victory.) As I was unable in my last transmission to give you instructions on which material to study for this quiz, it will be a review of simple ideas which you should have learned in primary school or dentistry school.

 

As usual, results will be returned in one week. Begin now, or later, but not so much later that you are unable to complete the quiz, unless you have already arranged a stable time loop so that you have completed the quiz before deciding to wait for a period of time which precludes completing the quiz.

 

 

1. The bornevian brown bat, native only to the tree in your backyard, is endangered. What organization can you turn to to save it?

a. The E.P.A. (The Environmental Protection Agency)

b. The Bavarian Illuminati

c. The N.R.A (The National Rodent Association)

d. The Mafia

e. The F.B.A.Q (The Federal Bureau of Aesthetic Quality)

 

2. You are being sued by the Mobile Coffee Mound Corporation for infringement of character and second degree breach of copyright. You are being defended by the up-and-coming law firm Wolfram, Isaiah, and Plunck. What defense should you plan to use to win the lawsuit?

a. Claim insanity

b. Use a little known precedent from ancient roman law concerning the keeping of goats

c. Claim that the alleged activities were the work of an evil duplicate

d. Start a counter suit demanding damages for the suffering caused by the suit against you

e. Plan no defense and poison the opposition's coffee instead

 

3. You are losing your hearing due to your work in the vacuum cleaner mines. What should you do about this problem?

a. Go on a mad killing spree and massacre the company executives with a high powered hairdryer

b. Spend your life savings on a pair of furry green earmuffs that won't protect your hearing but look awesome

c. Organize a union to demand better sound protection in the mines

d. Give up your worldly possessions and begin a new spiritual life to contemplate the mysteries of the clam

e. Hire rich siberians to do your work for you

 

4. Fish pie, pie fish, fish fish fish pie fish.

a. Teiresias

b. Edgar

c. The Duke of Windsor

d. Albert the clam hunter

e. Albrecht Dürer

 

5. You need to dust the lilies, but Robert refuses to come out of the koi pond. Reports have been received about dangerous tigers in the southern region of the garden. In the northwest, the power tools have once again risen up in rebellion. What do you do?

a. Send for aid from the illuminati

b. Retreat to the keep of Gard Nshed in the east

c. Throw aside your vows and join the glorious rebellion

d. Undertake a journey of spiritual enlightenment in the western orchards

e. Fortify your position with petunias and clovian burning bushes

 

6. Your negotiations with the Slime-Lord of Tavak go poorly. He refuses to concede that you are neither an oblong nor a conflagration. You refuse to give in to his demands for a teaspoon of sugar. Can this dispute be resolved and the world saved from a terrible war?

a. No, honor and sugar are more valuable than lives.

b. No, you really are an oblong conflagration.

c. No, you really want a war.

d. Yes, honor can be retained via a duel of brickbats at a three quarters of a mile

e. Yes, you may be a a burning ovoid, but you'll give him the sugar if he'll just shut up about it.

 

7. Mold and bread, flask and dance.

a. Molten

b. Mottled

c. Molded

d. Melted

e. Medicated

 

8. Why can't you send your nose to Prague?

 

9. The Earl of Toravia has commissioned you to install an atomic bomb in his cummerbund, but if you perceive Berlin for any length of time, however short, the assassins will find you. If you set foot in the library, the tigers will attack, and if you think about the number eight, you will have a seizure. Describe how you will carry out your mission, assuming that your shoelaces have been tied together by malicious pixies.

 

 

10. You are responsible for the factory, and all fallings thereon. In addition to your rigorous training as a historian, you are equipped with a run down taser, a sturdy rucksack with a secret pouch for diamonds, a torch (flashlight, that is) that can be used to spot a prisoner at a thousand yards, and the respect of the assembly line workers. All is not well, however, as you fear that the Transylvanian mafia is planning to drop flowers on and then torch (burn down, that is) the factory. How can perform your duty and protect the factory?

 

 

Bonus. Create a complete topographical map of Silence. Be sure to include all fluctuations and depravities. Express your answer using alphabetic characters only.

[Triumph]

1.

Best bet is B. Bavarian Illuminati

 

2.

I must D.Counter suit

 

3.

Naturally, the answer is E. Hire rich Siberians

 

4.

E. Durer, obviously!

 

5.

E. Petunias uber alles!!!

 

6.

With Mr. Twain as my second, I choose D.

 

7.

A. Molten

 

8.

Because all the grapes come with warning labels against putting them in noses, and only noses with grapes inserted may be shipped to Prague (at least ever since the Department of Education began regulating the mail after the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime).

 

9.

I will ask Seven to eat Nine, frightening 8 out of my mind so that I won't think about it. I will hop posthaste to the library, perceiving Berlin at the exact moment that I pass the threshold. In the ensuing melee, the assassins and tigers will destroy each other, while I am safely kicked out of the library by the irate librarian from bringing in so much ruckus. This character-building experience will equip me to finish the Earl's request within the subsequent three minutes.

 

10.

I recall from history that being vastly outnumbered is often moderately disadvantageous. Therefore I will carefully hold part of rucksack over my torch (flashlight) to project a Batsignal up into the sky, summoning the Batman to deal with the Mafia. Until he arrives, I shall wave the rucksack like a banner, and my loyal assembly line workers will rally to me, rising up to resist the bourgeois Mafia. I shall reconfigure my rundown taser and the rucksack to launch the workers up into the sky, using the rucksack like a parachute-like. They will catch falling flowers with their mouths (which I know is safe because flowers are biodegradable and the Transylvanian Mafia never uses oleander or nightshade) until the Batman arrives to achieve complete victory over the mafia folk. Merry Christmas!

 

Bonus.

Map of Silence (using only alphabetic characters; note: "x" represents non-topographically significant terrain):

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx N xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

x depravity L xxxxxxxxx E fluctuation xxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxx fluctuation xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx E x

xxxxxxxxxxx I xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxx depravity xxxxxxxxxxx C xxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx S xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Handyman]

I suppose I'll have to look around me.

[Student of Trinity]

 

1. e., the FBAQ. This is a tricky question, because in fact all of the listed organizations are puppet-like fronts for the Bavarian Illuminati (including the Bavarian Illuminati themselves, obviously). But the FBAQ has fewer pretend duties than the others, so you'll get to wait in a shorter line there.

 

2. e. Plan no defense and poison the opposition's coffee instead. This plan is flawless, because if your crime is detected or if it fails, you will then have a prima facie case that Mobile Coffee Mounds are defective and enturbulating.

 

3. I'm sorry; could you repeat the question?

 

4. d. No grateful survivor can forget that it was with these precious words that the hero saved us all from bivalvular doom.

 

5. c. Though anything but a. is about as good, really. The Illuminati control the power tools; to send for their aid would be quaintly ironic but thoroughly futile.

 

6. b. But the fact that you know this reveals to me what I suspected from the beginning. You are being controlled by the Bavarian Illuminati.

 

7. e. May as well take a happy pill, now, what? With the Bavarians on my tail, what hope do I have?

 

8. Look, I may be helpless against them, but at least I know the truth. Whether or not anyone's nose gets sent to Prague is entirely up to the Illuminati. Though any student of their ways soon learns that they send many more noses from Prague than to it.

 

 

9. Ha! In your arrogance you have let slip their plans! Obviously all of that is a diversion to lull me into false security. But now I know that they plan to lull me! I wasn't sure until now!

 

 

10. Aaah!! You know about the taser? And the secret pouch? And you've finally taken over the Transylvanian mafia? All is lost!!!

 

Bonus. No, they'll find me soon enough. I'll just wait here quietly.

[The Mystic]

1. The bornevian brown bat, native only to the tree in your backyard, is endangered. What organization can you turn to to save it?

e. The F.B.A.Q (The Federal Bureau of Aesthetic Quality)

 

2. You are being sued by the Mobile Coffee Mound Corporation for infringement of character and second degree breach of copyright. You are being defended by the up-and-coming law firm Wolfram, Isaiah, and Plunck. What defense should you plan to use to win the lawsuit?

b. Use a little known precedent from ancient roman law concerning the keeping of goats

 

3. You are losing your hearing due to your work in the vacuum cleaner mines. What should you do about this problem?

d. Give up your worldly possessions and begin a new spiritual life to contemplate the mysteries of the clam

 

4. Fish pie, pie fish, fish fish fish pie fish.

a. Teiresias

 

5. You need to dust the lilies, but Robert refuses to come out of the koi pond. Reports have been received about dangerous tigers in the southern region of the garden. In the northwest, the power tools have once again risen up in rebellion. What do you do?

e. Fortify your position with petunias and clovian burning bushes

 

6. Your negotiations with the Slime-Lord of Tavak go poorly. He refuses to concede that you are neither an oblong nor a conflagration. You refuse to give in to his demands for a teaspoon of sugar. Can this dispute be resolved and the world saved from a terrible war?

d. Yes, honor can be retained via a duel of brickbats at a three quarters of a mile

 

7. Mold and bread, flask and dance.

b. Mottled

 

8. Why can't you send your nose to Prague?

Because sending a nose, fake or otherwise, over international borders is technically a declaration of war unless the sender is at least a 100th-generation circus performer.

 

9. The Earl of Toravia has commissioned you to install an atomic bomb in his cummerbund, but if you perceive Berlin for any length of time, however short, the assassins will find you. If you set foot in the library, the tigers will attack, and if you think about the number eight, you will have a seizure. Describe how you will carry out your mission, assuming that your shoelaces have been tied together by malicious pixies.

 

First, start thinking of show tunes by Rodgers & Hammerstein; this will help you avoid perceiving all things Berlin, Irving or otherwise. Do not, under any circumstances, start singing the score from "South Pacific," or you're doomed.

 

Next, unlace your shoes; however, you should leave the knot the pixies made, as it will come in handy. Now, tie the shoelaces into a sling; make sure to include a figure-nine knot, to stop you from thinking about the number eight.

 

You are now fully prepared to carry out your mission. Walk over to the library door and shout, "Open, sez ME!" This will cause the library doors to swing open and get stuck there for ten minutes. The Earl of Toravia will be waiting for you at the other end of the lobby; using your shoelace sling, launch the atomic bomb at the earl, aiming for his midsection (making sure all safeties are on beforehand). With good aim, the bomb will land in the cummerbund.

 

10. You are responsible for the factory, and all fallings thereon. In addition to your rigorous training as a historian, you are equipped with a run down taser, a sturdy rucksack with a secret pouch for diamonds, a torch (flashlight, that is) that can be used to spot a prisoner at a thousand yards, and the respect of the assembly line workers. All is not well, however, as you fear that the Transylvanian mafia is planning to drop flowers on and then torch (burn down, that is) the factory. How can perform your duty and protect the factory?

 

Using your vast store of historical knowledge, you know that all members of the Transylvanian mafia are vampires. Fortunately for you, your rucksack also has a large supply of garlic in addition to the diamonds.

 

Arm your loyal workers with the garlic. Use the wiring from the taser to make a large magnifying lens out of the diamonds, and attach it to the flashlight. The Transylvanian mafia will see the strength of your position, and give themselves up as your prisoners. Any prisoner that does escape will be easily spotted by your flashlight and recaptured.

 

The crisis averted, you disassemble the lens and give the diamonds to your workers as a bonus, thus ensuring their continued (and stronger than ever) respect.

 

Bonus. Create a complete topographical map of Silence. Be sure to include all fluctuations and depravities. Express your answer using alphabetic characters only.

 

I'm skipping this one.

[Mod.]

1. The bornevian brown bat, native only to the tree in your backyard, is endangered. What organization can you turn to to save it?

e. The F.B.A.Q (The Federal Bureau of Aesthetic Quality). They are the only group with enough power to save my tree from the bat.

 

2. You are being sued by the Mobile Coffee Mound Corporation for infringement of character and second degree breach of copyright. You are being defended by the up-and-coming law firm Wolfram, Isaiah, and Plunck. What defense should you plan to use to win the lawsuit?

e. Plan no defense and poison the opposition's coffee instead. If it fails, then you can claim insanity.

 

3. You are losing your hearing due to your work in the vacuum cleaner mines. What should you do about this problem?

c. Organize a union to demand better sound protection in the mines. Mine-related incidents have been becoming increasingly problematic since the late Benezoic Era. Courts have given out trillions on injured miners.

 

4. Fish pie, pie fish, fish fish fish pie fish.

b. Edgar. Easiest one, only Edgar cannot properly prepare neither fish nor pie.

 

5. You need to dust the lilies, but Robert refuses to come out of the koi pond. Reports have been received about dangerous tigers in the southern region of the garden. In the northwest, the power tools have once again risen up in rebellion. What do you do?

e. Fortify your position with petunias and clovian burning bushes. A display of refusal of surrender works every time.

 

6. Your negotiations with the Slime-Lord of Tavak go poorly. He refuses to concede that you are neither an oblong nor a conflagration. You refuse to give in to his demands for a teaspoon of sugar. Can this dispute be resolved and the world saved from a terrible war?

d. Yes, honor can be retained via a duel of brickbats at a three quarters of a mile.

 

7. Mold and bread, flask and dance.

Both a and d are correct, because they are both the most common letters of the question.

 

8. Why can't you send your nose to Prague?

Due to the climactic battle of the Noserian-Prague revolutionary war, noses have since been banned from entering Prague. Recent nasal detectors have rendered secretive attempts nearly impossible with a 0.000000004001 chance of success.

 

9. The Earl of Toravia has commissioned you to install an atomic bomb in his cummerbund, but if you perceive Berlin for any length of time, however short, the assassins will find you. If you set foot in the library, the tigers will attack, and if you think about the number eight, you will have a seizure. Describe how you will carry out your mission, assuming that your shoelaces have been tied together by malicious pixies.

As the number of molecular impurities of the string are a multiple of 8, attempting to untie them will be futile. Luckily, as short-term pixie effects end with the elimination of the pixie, summoning the tigers will eliminate them, assuming of course you are wearing your tiger-repellent cologne, as every person in their right mind does (excluding skribane addicts). By viewing the atomic bomb's label through a mirror, your self-induced dislexia will prevent you from seeing Berlin.

 

10. You are responsible for the factory, and all fallings thereon. In addition to your rigorous training as a historian, you are equipped with a run down taser, a sturdy rucksack with a secret pouch for diamonds, a torch (flashlight, that is) that can be used to spot a prisoner at a thousand yards, and the respect of the assembly line workers. All is not well, however, as you fear that the Transylvanian mafia is planning to drop flowers on and then torch (burn down, that is) the factory. How can perform your duty and protect the factory?

Lay out the diamonds in a B-Vertex Array. Position the flashlight at the center, to create a pulsating electron grid. My using the taser on the grid, the resulting pyroelectric field will incinerate all flowers within a proximity of 10m. The rucksack will be sufficient in protecting the flashlight and taser. By using the assembly workers to recreate the infamous army of the Dictalic empire of 1490B.C., they will be able to hold off any mafia torchers.

 

Bonus. Create a complete topographical map of Silence. Be sure to include all fluctuations and depravities. Express your answer using alphabetic characters only.

The result can only be clearly shown with this 5 dimensional grid of Alt+255 characters:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

[RCCCL]

1. e. The F.B.A.Q. Those little guys are just so darn cute!

 

2. b. Use a little known precedent from ancient roman law concerning the keeping of goats. Goats always win! Don't believe me, try beating one, just try.

 

 

3. b. Spend your life savings on a pair of furry green earmuffs that won't protect your hearing but look awesome. Everyone will be envious of my ear wear!

 

4. c. The Duke of Windsor. Duh!

 

5. c. Throw aside your vows and join the glorious rebellion. Viva la révolution!

 

6. a. No, honor and sugar are more valuable than lives.

 

7. e. Medicated, by law.

 

8. Who says I can't?

 

9. Wait, what's that about the number...*starts foaming at the mouth and drops to the floor*

 

 

10. Torch their torching with my torch set on high, that'll torch 'em! That or preemptively set fire to the factory.

 

 

Bonus. I'll do this one next week, so you should have gotten it 2 days ago.

[Dikiyoba]

1. The bornevian brown bat, native only to the tree in your backyard, is endangered. What organization can you turn to to save it?

None. I will invite them into my house, show them where the temperature control is, and teach them how to use it.

 

2. You are being sued by the Mobile Coffee Mound Corporation for infringement of character and second degree breach of copyright. You are being defended by the up-and-coming law firm Wolfram, Isaiah, and Plunck. What defense should you plan to use to win the lawsuit?

I will "accidentally" spill hot coffee on myself while in court, allowing me to sue them for three times the sum that they are suing me for.

 

3. You are losing your hearing due to your work in the vacuum cleaner mines. What should you do about this problem?

Problem? What problem? A few more months in the mines, and I won't have to hear a thing you say anymore.

 

4. Fish pie, pie fish, fish fish fish pie fish.

Lemon meringue sticks!

 

5. You need to dust the lilies, but Robert refuses to come out of the koi pond. Reports have been received about dangerous tigers in the southern region of the garden. In the northwest, the power tools have once again risen up in rebellion. What do you do?

Build a bonsai mountain to entice passing swarms of ladybugs to drop in and eat all the rebellious fools.

 

6. Your negotiations with the Slime-Lord of Tavak go poorly. He refuses to concede that you are neither an oblong nor a conflagration. You refuse to give in to his demands for a teaspoon of sugar. Can this dispute be resolved and the world saved from a terrible war?

Yes. I will give him a teaspoon of corn syrup and pretend that it had been sugar, but that the heat from my flames melted it.

 

7. Mold and bread, flask and dance.

This is actually a line from a mnemonic used by necromancers of the New Moon Base in the 23rd century. It was disguised as a childen's jumproping rhyme, since necromancy was declared illegal and punishable by immediate execution after the unfortunate circumstances surrounding the abandonment of the first Moon Base in 2187.

 

8. Why can't you send your nose to Prague?

c. You don't have a nose.

 

9. The Earl of Toravia has commissioned you to install an atomic bomb in his cummerbund, but if you perceive Berlin for any length of time, however short, the assassins will find you. If you set foot in the library, the tigers will attack, and if you think about the number eight, you will have a seizure. Describe how you will carry out your mission, assuming that your shoelaces have been tied together by malicious pixies.

e. Take a nap and try again tomorrow.

 

10. You are responsible for the factory, and all fallings thereon. In addition to your rigorous training as a historian, you are equipped with a run down taser, a sturdy rucksack with a secret pouch for diamonds, a torch (flashlight, that is) that can be used to spot a prisoner at a thousand yards, and the respect of the assembly line workers. All is not well, however, as you fear that the Transylvanian mafia is planning to drop flowers on and then torch (burn down, that is) the factory. How can perform your duty and protect the factory?

b. Spray floral perfume everywhere and shine the flashlight through a crack in the ceiling, convincing the Transylvanian mafia that they've already completed their mission.

 

Bonus. Create a complete topographical map of Silence. Be sure to include all fluctuations and depravities. Express your answer using alphabetic characters only.

r. Vacuum cleaner mines.

 

Dikiyoba studied really hard and expects to get 112% on this quiz!

[Niemand]

All diagnostic messages from the grading simulation have been run through our new de-symbolicator system, which is designed to render abstract concepts into plain english. Several of us at the lab were a bit disturbed by the overall tone of the results, but we concluded that it was just due to our recently acquired irrational fear of our creations rising up to overthrow us. Luckily, we have devised a new medication which completely supresses this response, and a number of our projects involving tampering with secrets man was not meant to know are starting to make some serious headway.

 

Triumph

Click to reveal..

1. .5

2. 0

3. 0

4. 0

5. .5

6. 0

7. 1

8. .288

9. .739

10. .6920000000000157

B. .21 + .46*i

Total: 3.9290000000000157 + .46*i

 

Student of Trinity

Click to reveal..

1. .5

2. 0

3. 0 (#Note: No.)

4. .5 (#Note: The world government would like to remind you that if it were not for the courageous hero who founded the world government you would all have been destroyed by the coming of the clams.)

5. 0 (#Note: Die, rebel scum.)

6. 0 (#Note: If you had shown up at last week's Illuminati meeting you would have known this already.)

7. 0

8. .4

9. 0 (#Note: To reiterate, if you had come to the meeting we would have explained this in detail.)

10. 0 (#Note: All is not lost until plan Lamppost-6 is concluded.)

B. 0 (#Note: That is an altogether improper attitude for a member of the illustrious Bavarian Illuminati.)

Total: 1.4

 

The Mystic

Click to reveal..

1. .5

2. 0

3. 1 (#Note: Only the clam can unlock true enlightenment.)

4. 1

5. .5

6. 0

7. 0

8. .9223 (#Note: See ISO Standard 361.)

9. .806

10. .621

B. 0 (#Error: That's what you think.)

Total: 5.3493

 

Mod.

Click to reveal..

1. .5

2. 0

3. 0

4. 0 (#Note: It is true that Edgar can prepare neither fish nor pie. He is a very poor cook.)

5. .5

6. 0

7. .5 (#Error: One answer should be sufficient for anyone.)

8. .576 (#Note: See ISO Standard 216)

9. .399 (#Warning: Due your dental floss addiction, your sense of smell has been dulled and you have not been properly replenishing your cologne levels.)

10. .101 (#Note: Excellent use of prefixing.)

B. .013 (#Error: What is this 'Alt' you speak of?)

Total: 2.589

 

RCCCL

Click to reveal..

1. .5 (#Note: It is inadvisable to call the agents of the F.B.A.Q. cute as they consider themselves extremely serious and dignified. Or did you mean the bats? The bats are cute.)

2. 0 (#Warning: Utilization of the goat keeping precedent will require you to keep at least five(5) live goats on your person at all times.)

3. 0 (#Warning: Green earmuffs are not in this season.)

4. 0

5. 0 (#Note: Die, rebel scum.)

6. 1

7. 0

8. 0 (#Note: A number of important historical figures, including Joseph Raymond McCarthy, Robert E. Hogan, and Caratacus.)

9. 0 (#Note: Is is inadvisable to contemplate the number eight.)

10. 0 (#Note: Is is inadvisable to torch (set fire to) the factory.)

B. .144.235.1232..2..32342.342.23GGGGGGGGG (#Error: This value cannot be meaningfully computed due to a temporal loopback.)

Total: Undefined

 

Dikiyoba

Click to reveal..

1. 0 (#Note: While cute, the bats are completely incapable of learning to operate a thermostat.)

2. 0 (#Note: Coffee is not permitted in the court (precluding option e as well).)

3. 0 (#Note: That sort of attitude is not appreciated.)

4. 0 (#Note: Lemon meringue sticks are too sticky for use in this context.)

5. 0 (#Note: Your loyalty is commendable, but your plan is somewhat far-fetched. Do you seriously beleive that ladybugs eat?)

6. 0 (#Note: The Slime-Lord is an expert on all viscous liquids. He will see through this ruse instantly.)

7. 0 (#Note: Despite correct identification of the origin of the promt, you have not determined the correct counter-invocation.)

8. 0 (#Error: There was no option 'c' defined in this question.)

9. 0 (#Error: Just what do you think this is? The multiple choice section was at the beginning of the test.)

10. 0 (#Note: This is actually a viable plan, but according to F.B.A.Q. directive 688 using a non-zero value in this context would incur a minimum fine of twelve obelisks.)

B. 0 (#Note: The vacuum cleaner mines are emphatically not silent.)

Total: 0

 

On the whole I thought that everyone did a fairly good job this time around. For next time, everyone should read chapter 96 of the textbook. Be sure to both read it normally and by decrypting it using the cipher discussed at the last Illuminati meeting.

[The Mystic]

So what were the answers?

 

Originally Posted By: Niemand

The Mystic

Click to reveal..

Total: 5.3493

Not too shabby, I guess. It's certainly better than my last score.

 

Quote:

For next time, everyone should read chapter 96 of the textbook. Be sure to both read it normally and by decrypting it using the cipher discussed at the last Illuminati meeting.

My secret decoder ring is at the ready.

[Student of Trinity]

Ach, apparently I am a member of the Bavarian Illuminati. That is, they have already taken me over.

 

D'oh. I should have known. I mean, really. I knew they know everything. I knew they control everything. Why did the obvious not occur to me, that they also control me?

 

Hindsight is 20-20, I guess. It seems obvious now, but I guess maybe it wasn't really at the time. Hidden in plain sight, as it were.

 

Typical Illuminati subtlety and sophistication. My hat is off to them.

 

Or rather, their hat is off to them.

 

Grüß Gott!

 

 

[Locmaar]

Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity

Grüß Gott!

Wenn ich ihn treffe...

[Student of Trinity]

That's the rather idiomatic Bavarian and Tyrolian greeting; though literally an injunction to 'Greet God!', in use it means, 'I greet you!'.

 

What really baffled me about German regional cultures was this. A friend who lives in Pfalz, and was born in Mecklenburg (when it was DDR), went into a restaurant in Baden-Württemburg, but only to use the restroom. He therefore made a point of hailing the bartender with, 'Grüß Gott!', so as to be mistaken for a Bavarian.

 

For brief moments I can see the logic of this. Then I lose it again.

[Locmaar]

I know that you know that I was reciting an old and terrible joke. At least I hope that you know that I know that you know, you know?

[Student of Trinity]

Yeah, but there are onlookers. They need to be educated. And I still wonder what the heck my friend was thinking, that time in Heidelberg.

[Locmaar]

He was probably just trying to hide the fact that he is an Ossi

[ef]

Quote:

He was probably just trying to hide the fact that he is an Ossi

Or, as he was born up north - and we all know what those southerners are like - didn't want to be thought a Prussian. Do you know that there are restaurants down south that don't serve Prussians, even today?

[Student of Trinity]

Well, Prussians are an acquired taste.

[Tirien]

Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity

Well, Prussians are an acquired taste.

Have you been talking with Scorpius?

[ef]