Drakon Sssharxx

I think it would be an SDF cheat like the unofficial canister reset cheat. you just have to locate which sdf to target. This is the conclusion i have logicaly reached anyway, i may have totally missed the target with my thorn batoon though.

Good evening everybody, I have had a fairly busy day today and only just managed to squeeze into it, the writing of this chapter. i am going camping tomorrow for two nights so I will be off untill sunday evening at least, but untill then i present to you... chapter 8 - Sectacular. Chapter 8 - Spectacular Saraph and Andras have been riding for three days. When Saraph wakes up, on the fourth morning after leaving the farming village, he is exited. Today could be the day they reach Dillame. Today could be the day Saraph is evaluated to become an apprentice. Today may even be the day he gets accepted. Driven by this thought Saraph wakes early, so early in fact that he sees Andras asleep for the first time on this journey. Saraph rummages around in the bags and pulls out a strip of meat wrapped in cloth, a pan, and a water flask. He throws a couple of sticks onto the smouldering embers, he then proceeds to blow on the embers to set the sticks on fire. Once Saraph is happy that the fire is hot enough he places the pan over the fire and fills it with water. He waits patiently for the water to boil before carefully ripping the meat into chunks, so as to not aggravate his forearm, and throwing them into the pot as well. He then goes back over their packs and rummages around for some salt and a few choice herbs which he also adds to the pot and waits for the meat to cook. Saraph’s actions cause Andras to stir and soon he is also awake. Once the rather plain food is cooked Saraph serves it into two bowls and passes one to Andras. They eat in silence and once finished Andras starts to pack away camp while Saraph readies the horses. After riding for a couple of hours Saraph can see, on the horizon, Dillame. From this distance Saraph cannot make out any details and can barely see the citadel, but still it gets his heart going and he urges his horse slightly faster. As they get closer Saraph starts to distinguish the city walls from the citadel, he is amazed at the size of the city, it spans easily over a league and the citadel towers high over the rest of the city. To either side of the city Saraph can see the ocean, it is the first time he has ever seen it and it too takes his breath away. It is a deep blue that stretches as far as he can see, an endless void and yet he can understand peoples attraction to its dangerous beauty. It is independent of sides, race, or rank, it does as it pleases and laughs at those that attempt to tame it. It is wild and careless and given time will eat away at anything in it way. The closer Saraph get to the city the more it reveals, amazing Saraph further. Saraph starts to see dark specks in the sky, and specks that remain still besides the huge city gate. Towers rise constant distances apart along the wall and each one holds a flag waving in the slight breeze, Saraph isn’t quite close enough to see the symbol on the flags but he guesses that they bear the shapers symbol. He also notices three ships anchored in the bay with small boats travelling back and forth between the dock and each ship. As Saraph looks in awe he notices on of the specks in the sky growing larger. Whatever it is, it is heading towards them. As the speck gets larger Saraph can make out the shape, it looks like a long snake with a pair of midsized wings. As it draws even closer Saraph can pick out more detail of the creature. It is a pinkish colour with darker patches, and its wings flap slightly slower then they should be which gives Saraph the impression that they are kept airborne by something more than just their wings. Its body twists and turns acting like a rudder in the wind, keeping it on course. As it flies overhead Saraph gets a good look at its body, the main part of it is segmented into about six or seven segments, it has a stinger on the end of its tail and beneath its wings it has two patches of skin that look slightly porous and directed backwards. Andras informs Saraph that it is called a wingbolt, a creation with lots of potential. As they near Dillame, the wingbolt having passed over again and returned to circling the city perimeter, Saraph can see more details. The specks at either side of the gate become human guards, dressed in heavy armour with nasty looking swords at their waists. On the walls, in between each merlon, sits a turret. Each tower holds a ballista manned by two soldiers, and the citadel roof is used as a rest stop for the patrolling wingbolts. The trail Saraph and Andras are following meets up with many others to form one long wide straight filled with travellers to and from the city. Hours later they approach the gates, the sun fell a couple of hours ago and traffic on the road is few and far between. The gates are closed and as you approach the guard raises his visor to get a better view. When he realises that a shaper is approaching he rings a bell once. The gate opens smoothly, gliding on well oiled hinges. As they open they reveal the city within, Saraph’s mouth falls open at the sight. Hope you are enjoying the story so far and would appritiate it if you would post down appropiate chapter names for chapters one to seven (would save me a bit of time tehe). As i said before, all feedback is welcome.

On the Geniwiki it states that they are one of the only aerial creatures that the shapers allow. Which hints strongly that they can fly. Although im trying to locate the image of a wingbolt that you get shown on the loading screens of one of the geneforge games, just to clarify. It's the image with the creation in the middle and various notes scatterd around it.

just a suggestion, Polls can be useful but are not necesary all the time. and yes they are strangely reptilian-like.

Tehe

Technically Easss was shaped by Sith, and Sith was shaped by Rhakkus, who was formaly a cryodrayk and was changed into the first drakon. As far as i can tell Ahkari blaze did not shape a drakon of note, but im sure he did shape many other drakons that did not gain fame. Ahkari blaze was the major creator and leader of the unbound though if they count as a drakon of note.

It does seem plausable now i inspect them more as their wingspan seems reasonable relative to bodymass, and if aided by gas bladders i'll go with the idea of short distance flying.

Do you think wingbolts are able to fly properly or just hover around like a vlish?

where would i find a list for the locations of these keys?

I would guess that for the plot to work without your person walking for endless days, that jeff and co. cut down on the transition times between zones. And about the size of the citys... we are talking shaper citys, built to express the wealth and power of the shapers, they aren't going to be small are they? I would go with the size of australia like most others as there are occasional refrences to people takeing weeks to get from one place to the next. and for those that talk bad about the UKs size... we overcompensate in many other areas. In fact we proved that by owning half the world, and very gentlemanlike returned it afterwards, just coz we can. Hmm funny thing i just noticed by looking at australia, if you turn it upsidedown and add a small amount of land to the bottom right while digging out a lake in the middle, it looks like terrestia.

Originally Posted By: Agent Artemis Quote: Do you have a direct quote that explicitly says that Gazaki-Uss is built on top of Gazaki-Uss. i dont mean to be a specifics spaz, but how can Gazaki-Uss be built on top of itself? Being padantic never got me anywhere im pretty sure most people will realise his mistake and understand that he meant "Gazaki-uss is built on top of gazak-uss". Oops sorry for the double post. my bad.

I do remember whilst playing the rebel stroyline of G5 that ghaldering (mabey) states that gazaki-uss was built on the ruins of old gazak-uss. I am not certain that it was galdering, may have been greta or mehkan. Im pretty certain it was somebody in gazaki-uss though.

Yes it was suppost to be named after the generic shaper name from the game but I hadn't played it recent enough and therefore picked the wrong name, I noticed the mistake while playing geneforge 3 earlyer today. it is not a major problem to be honest and I may yet correct it. In the meantime here is chapter 7. Chapter 7 Saraph and Andras spot the small farming village a couple of miles away, they have been walking constantly since morning. As they get closer Saraph notices that it is too quiet, and considering that this is a farming village there are no farmers tending the field. He points this out to Andras who agrees, they pause on the road. Saraph looks towards the village straining his eyes to focus on the small spaces between houses. He notices slight movements in the shadows and quickly tells Andras. Andras goes prone and orders Saraph to do so as well. He pulls a small object out of his pack, which looks like a small baton, and looks through one end of it and points the other towards the village. Andras remains still and silent for about ten minutes as he slowly moves the baton from side to side. “Rogues.” Andras states as he stands up. He pulls back his sleeves, a preparation for shaping, and closes his eyes. As he concentrates thin golden tendrils exit the tips of his fingers and travel to individual spots on the floor about five feet apart from each other. Saraph watches in amazement as ten giant worms slowly come into existence before his very eyes. They are about eight feet in length and easily as thick as seraphs waist. They have a nasty spike at the bottom of their mouth used for tunnelling and attacking, their skin is pale and they writhe around waiting for orders. “Clear the village.” Andras commands as he closes his eyes once more and repeats the process. Andras creates, and sends into the village, a total of twenty worms and once they are out of sight he proceeds forward. Andras pulls out the polished stick at his waist and draws a dagger, the latter he hands to Saraph. “Just in case.” Saraph takes the dagger and grasps it firmly. Saraph starts hearing screeches and grunts from the rogues as they are routed out and killed, chills start to creep up his spine as the creation’s dieing screeches get louder. As they get about ten paces from the closest building there is one last resounding shriek from a fyora and then all is quiet. Andras leads the way through the village slowly, each step feeling like it took an hour. As they near the centre of the village Saraph’s hairs at the back of his head stand on end, he shivers once before a resounding crash resonates from behind. Saraph feels a rush of hot air radiate from the source of the noise, he turns around just in time to see a fyora rush out of a building twenty yards away. Saraph grips the dagger in his right hand tighter while he fills his lungs with air. “I command you to stop!” Saraph fills the words with all the command he can muster but it doesn’t work, the fyora has been rogue too long. Instead the fyora speeds up, colliding with Saraph knocking him to the floor while tearing into his left arm with its teeth. Saraph screams in pain as he hears a loud crack as his bone snaps, he lashes out in pain with his limbs catching the fyora’s hamstring with the dagger. The dagger slices deep into the creations leg causing streams of blood to rush out. The fyora releases Saraph’s arm to screech in pain allowing Saraph to regain his focus, with a quick lunge Saraph thrusts the dagger into the creations mouth and though the back of its head. His vision begins to blur as he sees the fyora collapse to the floor dead, moments later he sees the ground rush up to meet him and his vision blacks. When Saraph wakes his head is hazy, it takes him a moment to remember what happened. When he does his eyes snap open and he jumps up looking around, seconds later his actions catch up with him and his head spins as blood rushes from his brain. He falls onto his hands and knees and feels his left forearm cry out with pain he falls flat on the floor gritting his teeth as the pain recedes. As he regains his senses he opens his eyes again, slowly this time. He looks around to see a small campfire with a steaming pot above it. As he sees it the smell of stew wafts up his nostrils causing a chain reaction in his body, first his stomach growls and then his mouth wells up with saliva. He ignores this as he looks around further, he spots two horses picketed to a tree about ten yards away. His mind still not quite clear enough to question their presence, he continues to look around till his eyes spot Andras. “What happened?” As Saraph says this he notices his throat is dry and he tries to swallow saliva to moisten it again. “Well, you after you killed that fyora, rather valiantly I might add, you blacked out from blood loss, I bandaged your arm up as best I could and splinted it. I hurried around town looking for any supplies that my help but what supplies there were had either used during the initial attack by the rogues or burnt by the fyora’s breath. I did manage to locate these two horses cowering in a corner, I calmed them down lead them back to you. From there I lifted you onto one of them and mounted the other and rode out of town to make camp elsewhere, I didn’t wish to linger in that place too long after what happened.” “Why can’t you heal my arm without the use of pods? You are a shaper arn't you?” Saraph inquires drowsily. “I have used up too much essence creating the various creations that this journey has required of me, do not forget I was instructed to check on Shaper Ayden on the way back from another assignment.” Andras spoons some food from the pot above the fire into a bowl and hands it to Saraph while he says this. Saraph takes the food and tries to eat it as fast as he can, burning his mouth in the attempt. After dinner he collapses under his shelter and falls asleep exhausted. Ok, i have taken the time to correct the shapers name for all the chapters, I thank you for pointing that out.

Hear is chapter 6... i could do with finding a tidier way of posting these chapters as im starting to get quite a few, with quite few more planned... any ideas welcome. Chapter 6 The mountain pass lies behind Saraph as Andras gets him to help set up camp. Andras said it will rain overnight so Saraph works on building a typical hunting shelter, small but sturdy and easy to construct it consists of two short branches holding up a long one and then sticks and leaves layered up against the long branch. Once Saraph is finished he sits by the fire and waits for dinner to cook. While he waits, he reviews the past few days travelling along the mountain pass… After Saraph woke the morning after Andras told him why he was being taken to Dillame. He was still smiling from the news and was eager to set off, he helped pack up camp and set off close behind Andras. Andras did not speak and Saraph wasn’t one for being sociable and didn’t want to push for information so he remained silent. The hours passed silently with only the padding of boots on the track to listen to, Andras had absorbed his two battle alphas as Saraph had discovered they were called. In their place Andras had created four roamers. roamers are waist high creations with a yellowish green skin and walk on all fours, they have an arrowhead shaped head and a coiled body built for pouncing, they also have a set of acid glands that allow them to spit deadly acid at a foe. Andras ordered them to scout around the two of them and warn them of any threats. And so the day passed and Andras showed no sign of stopping for dinner but paced on tirelessly, Saraph didn’t want to be responsible for slowing down a shapers assignment so he continued on working through his hunger. Andras stopped as the sky darkened and started to set up camp, he asked if Saraph had any experience with setting up camp, to which Saraph informed him that he had, and asked him to help him. Andras had dinner ready by the time Saraph had his shelter built and he settled down to eat. While Saraph ate he asked how Andras seemed tireless after so long walking. Andras simply replied that it was part off a shapers training and that Saraph would learn more in the near future. Saraph quickly settled down under his shelter and fell asleep. The next morning Saraph wakes up to aching muscles and sore feet but ignores them as he gets up stretches and receives a bowl of food from Andras. He quickly eats the food and packs away camp with Andras. They get back onto the mountain pass walking slowly at first due to Saraph’s aching muscles but soon his muscles have loosened off and they are up to speed again much to Andras relief. The day passes by quickly but at around dinnertime Andras pulls the end of a loaf of stale bread out his pack and hands it to Saraph, they continue walking while Saraph fights to tear through the bread. Once again they set up camp at nightfall but this time they didn’t exchange any words and settled to sleep after dinner. Saraph didn’t sleep very well that night as the altitude meant that there was a biting cold that he couldn’t shake off and was in and out of sleep all night. The next morning Saraph’s legs ached again but he worked through it easier as he was expecting it, they packed camp and set off down the other side of the pass, the descent went faster and by midday they could see the bottom of the pass and the beginning of the grasslands that separated the pass and Dillame. Once again Andras passed Saraph a lump of bread at midday and they continued on, by nightfall they had reached the bottom and set up camp. Saraph finishes his dinner and speaks for the first time in days. “How long will it take us to cross the plains?” Andras looks up at Saraph. “There is a small Farming village to the east of hear which we should reach by midday, we will stop there for a decent meal and pick up a couple of horses as the grasslands between hear and Dillame are very large and would take weeks on foot. With horses we should be there within three of four days and will give you some time to recover before you meet the council member there.” He thinks for a moment. “I will get a set of cloths for you while we are at the village, them cloths weren’t meant for heavy travel and are looking very poor indeed.” Saraph thanks him and, happy that he doesn’t have much farther to walk, goes to sleep with a smile on his face.

Thank you, i have just finished the next chapter, will proof read it and post it up in a moment after sorting out the thread title and link problem i had.

Thank you it should be a lot easyer to plan what will happen to Saraph.

Hopefully you have read the thread "a bit of a story..." and know that i am writeing a story based around geneforge. I have started this tread because i would like to keep my information gathering and the story and reveiws seperate. So i have come up with a slight problem on lack of information and would like it if you have any infomation on the history of the shapers (how they started and the early years of the shaper empire and such) this is the first step of Saraph's apprenticeship, to learn the history of the shapers. I would also like you to share all that you know on the process of training the apprntices. Thank you all in advance and feel free to argue between yourselves as this will allow me to reason between the different ideas and allow me to draw a conclusion.

Ah yes i see what you mean Ackrovan i too prefer your adaptation, thank you. i will look over it. P.S. Your geneforge wiki is helping a fair amount, it is a shame that you have not got around to finishing it yet though. i got the location for Saraph's hometown from there. I will make sure that i mention that i retrived information for the story from there and include you in the thanks. P.P.S. Oh and is there a way to change the topic name, its no longer a bit of a story... lol. and would someone please explain how the links work in the signature as i dont think it uses HTML link system? Thanx

This is the last chapter i will probably post untill i get some more feedback, i will continue writing the story but would realy appriciate your comments. it's hard to write a story with no support from comments as i do not know wether to keep going because i am doing well or to change the chapters i have already written to improve it to a decent standard. ALL comments are welcome. Chapter 5 As the shaper walks down the road past the last house in town, Saraph looks across the fields towards his father, at the same time nester looks up at his son and their eyes meet, Saraph sees eagerness in nesters eyes like his father is desperate to talk with him. Saraph remains behind the shaper though until the shaper says otherwise, as Saraph walks past his fathers field his father approaches slowly. The shaper turns his head but doesn’t slow down. “This boy will travel with me to Dillame.” It is not a question and his father knows it, he backs away looking at Saraph, hurt in his eyes, knowing that it will be weeks at least before he sees him again. Saraph realises this too and his heart starts heating up. Every step he takes behind the shaper causes his heart to get warmer, he follows the shaper down the road, warmer, warmer, he passes by the edge of the last field, hotter, hotter, and they reach the forest at the bottom of the mountain pass, burning, burning. Saraph takes a hundred more steps and then cannot take it anymore he blacks out, his mind protecting itself from the hurt, he didn’t get to say goodbye to his father, worse yet he didn’t even get to glimpse his mother or sister, how will his father explain it to them? How will they react? And why is he being carted off to Dillame by this shaper? What has he done to warrant this? Saraph has never left the town for longer than a couple of evenings, and now he’s leaving his town, rocky point one of the most southern points in Illya province, with no idea of when he will return. Saraph wakes up, he feels warm air bathing the right side of his body and can see stars above him. He looks right to see a small, smokeless, campfire and on the other side sits the shaper. The shapers hood is down and the fire lights his face, he has mid length brown hair and a thin jaw with a long nose. His eyes show knowledge and wisdom and yet he looks more friendly and relaxed than Saraph has seen him yet. “I apologise for what you have gone through today.” This was the last thing Saraph expected him to say, it takes him a moment to regain his composure before he can reply. “Erm, who are you?” The shaper opposite the fire chuckles briefly, though Saraph notices a slight hint of fakeness behind it. “I am Shaper Andras” Saraph chuckles slightly, he notices that every shaper he knows the name of begins with the letter A. “Why are you taking me to Dillame?” Andras looks down, Saraph waits patiently for his answer not wanting to say something that stops Andres speaking. “After seeing you control my Fyora, I have decided that you would make a good member of our order. I wish for you to travel with me back to Dillame to request that the council to sponsor you to the academy. That is, if you would like to?” Saraph’s face slowly lights up as Andras is talking, his dreams may yet come true. “Absolutely” Saraph responds after getting over the initial shock. Andras lies back and pulls a blanket over himself, and taking this as a signal Saraph rolls onto his side and falls asleep a grin splitting his face.

i think mine was GF2--> GF3--> GF5--> GF1-->GF4 I dont think any of them were bad i just prefer some to the others, i still enjoy playing them all.

Still waiting for some feedback from more than just one person, i would realy like to write it so that many people may enjoy it. hears chapter 4, kindof a transition chapter. Chapter 4 As Saraph follows this mysterious shaper he starts inspecting him closer, everything about this shaper radiates power, the way he walks with his head forward, his sure footing not once missing a step while keeping his steps a constant distance apart. His shoulders never move, and his hands flexed ready to react in a moments notice. This makes Saraph wonder how he didn’t notice his rogue fyora, whether he is this alert now because of that or just whether he didn’t care for it. Saraph is also hyperaware of the huge hulking creations in front of him to either side. They walk with an awkward gait as if their muscles inhibit a smooth limb movement. Now Saraph is closer to them he realises his earlier evaluation of them was an understatement, they are almost three times the size of him and their muscles are almost as big as his waist, they are truly imposing, Saraph is surprised how anybody can be as confident as the shaper in their presence. The shaper nears the building in the centre of town, it is the only stone building in town, and hardly anyone can say they have entered it. Saraph realises he may have the chance to say he has, his excitement builds as they get closer and closer, Saraph notices the shaper symbol on the wall next to the entrance, it is a circle surrounded by a larger circle with the inner band filled in apart from three segments at the outer edge which are equal distance apart. In front of this symbol is a turret, a type of fungal growth shaped by the shapers it has a stem on top that points at any intruders, it has the ability to shoot thorns at high speeds from this stem. Shapers use turrets as stationary settlement defences, although these are probably the only ones in town. The shaper continues undeterred with Saraph in tow. Saraph passes through the entrance, the two creations that the shaper owned are left to defend the entrance as they cannot fit through the doors. The shaper continues along a green carpet running though the centre of the corridor, towards a grand archway, as Saraph gets closer to it he notices the intricacy in the carving of the pillars of the arch. As Saraph passes below it he is stunned to a stop, he looks around at the hall he has entered, the floor is covered in a green carpet dotted with four stone platforms that also contain the shaper symbol on them, the walls are built out of marble bricks, polished to a shine by the hard work of serviles, moving further upwards Saraph admires the marble pillars holding up the roof, the most amazing part though is the ceiling, it is domed with a series of pictures upon it, the pictures represent the golden age that the shapers have created, the rich cities, the solid sense of security and the gratitude of the people. As Saraph regains his composure he notices the shaper he is following indicate to keep following him. As Saraph continues onwards the shaper turns right and walks forward, you notice then that there is another shaper here. He is sat upon a marble throne, he is wearing a red robe with comfortable pants and tunic, unlike the shaper you are with who wears the sturdy cloths of travel. As the shaper you are following nears Shaper Ayden he stops. “Report” he states, the ancient voice echoes around the room. Saraph gets a closer look at Shaper Ayden, he looks tired there are bags beneath his eyes, he breaths deeply, his neck is also strained and his body tense from hard work, and his forhead is beaded with nervous sweat. “The town is coping well, we have had no serious problems to date, but I must admit I cannot provide everything this town needs. I have been forced to hire farmers and a few extra guards due to my own inability to provide, for this I am regretful.” The words leave Ayden’s mouth strained but apologetic. The shaper facing Ayden nods once and turns around glancing at Saraph briefly signalling that he hasn’t forgotten him. Saraph also turns and follows the shaper out of the halls. The shaper walks past the huge creations that fall into formation again and continues along the road out of town. Saraph wonders why this shaper still wants him following him, Saraph thought that maybe the shaper was going to say something to Ayden but he did not, and now all Saraph can do is wonder as he follows the shaper past his house and towards the path beside the fields that Saraph had the encounter with the fyora.

i think that ghaldering, akari blaze, greta, alwan, bahrazl mabey, i think the different servile sects would be rememberd but no serviles in particular, and mabey a few of the protaganists.

Ok i have been awake for a while now and got around to carrying on my story, as before i would realy like feedback. here it is: Chapter 3 Saraph wakes up with aching muscles, he has been helping his farther with the harvest for the last two days and hopefully this will be his last day, tomorrow he can relax. He sits up and yawns, stretching out his arms while he arcs his back as much as he can. Saraph stands up and surveys his room for a set of cloths, and having located some he proceeds to get dressed. He exits from his bedroom and ambles towards the kitchen throwing back some milk from the kitchen top. Having slept a little too long Saraph has no time to grab anything of substance and hurries out the front door, running to catch up his father. Saraph arrives at the fields and looks them over, there are three serviles working on them along with fifteen humans, there is only half of the grain scythed down, Saraph groans, he will be here tomorrow now as well. He pushes the thought to the back of his mind and hurries over to his father to get to work. He starts by getting a scythe and chopping down a patch about ten meters by ten meters, he then gathers up the chopped grain and ties it together with string and proceeds to scythe the next lot while a servile gathers up the batches of grain. Saraph’s work proceeds slowly but uninterrupted until about midday. Saraph hears a low wave of awed gasps slowly spreading up the fields by the edge of the path. He looks up to see two huge humanoid figures walking up the path, they are easily twice the size of Saraph and look like they could tear apart a house with ease, they’re brown and their bodies look like solid slabs of muscle, their backs look curved under the weight of it all. As Saraph slowly gets over the imposing figures his vision wonders slightly until he notices a shaper walking slightly ahead of the huge beasts. The shaper is dressed in a blue robe that flitters around his ankles, he wears leather pants, probably made from ornkskin, and a leather top, a small wooden rod hangs at his waist. Saraph cannot see the shapers face as it is obscured in shadow by the shapers hood. As the shaper strolls along the road, getting closer to Saraph all the time, Saraph notices a small fyora, well small compared to them huge creations, it seems less controlled than the others, like it is meant as the shapers pet. As the shaper passes by Saraph the shapers little control over the fyora breaks, its eyes turn wild, but it hasn’t totally lost obedience because if it had it would have attacked the closest thing to it, the shaper, but it hasn’t, a creation would take years of being rouge before it even tried to attack a shaper, instead it runs towards the second closest thing, Saraph. Saraph first feels fear, he is rooted to the spot, he knows he couldn’t outrun it, the fear paralyses him as he tries to get his legs to run, to gain a little more time so that the shaper may notice his creation and help. Then Saraph realises that the shaper is totally oblivious, he gets annoyed, and the anger breaks though his fear and he shouts at the fyora. “Stop!” The fyora hesitates, Saraph notices and realises that creations respond to commanding words, he tries as hard as he can to put as much command into the next words, he hopes it will be enough. “You must return to your master, he will deal with your behaviour.” Saraph shocks himself as he hears the words reverberate within his head, he is surprised how commanding his voice could be. The fyora also notices, his eyes flicker back to an obedient look, it knows what will now happen, but a creation has no choice but to obey an order, it skips back slowly to the shaper, the shaper that is now looking directly at Saraph. As the fyora reaches the shaper, the shapers eyes do not leave Saraph, not even when he waves his hand and absorbs the fyora, a penalty for going rogue. The shapers eyes bore into Saraph and Saraph can’t look away. The Shaper clears his throat. “Come with me.” The shaper turns clearly unwilling to speak again but his voice was ancient, portraying a great power. Saraph shivers under the power of the shapers voice but hurries to follow the shaper. When a shaper tells somebody other than a shaper to do something, they do it, no questions asked.

you cought my plan for chapter 3. but i wont reveal more, the suspence is what makes it better P.S. I'm off to bed now it's late will start chapter 3 tomorrow.

Ok i have been writeing for the past two hours and produced the second chapter, i would realy appritiate your feedback on both the first, and the second chapter so that i may see what i am doing right, and what i am doing wrong so that i may change/improve them allong with the future chapters. here is chapter 2: Chapter 2 Saraph wakes up, rolls over, and then experiences nanoseconds of weightlessness before hitting the floor with a thump. He groans. Saraph rolls onto his back, sits up and wonders as to the time, then he realises that he is in no hurry to get anything done but is rather hungry. He stands up and in his just woken state he fumbles for cloths, he quickly throws on the first things he touches and wonders into the kitchen grabbing the end of a loaf of bread and smearing some jam on it before tearing into it with a vigour rarely seen. After breakfast he wonders out of the back door grabbing a piece of paper with a list of things that need doing and sits by the old oak pondering as to the time and what he should do first. After around 10 minutes he comes to the conclusion that he should plan for a hunting tip his sister has convinced him to go on this weekend, Saraph journeys inside and rummages around his room for his pack which he locates under a pair of unwashed shorts and three pairs of smelly socks. He then proceeds to polish up his dagger and arrange his gear, this takes him around an hour to do. After sorting out his gear Saraph grabs a small pouch of coins from the kitchen surface and leaves though the front door to go to the town merchant. As he wonders towards the centre of town he passes by a fyora, this is a creation that stands about a foot taller than Saraph, it stands on two feet with a lizard like appearance, it has red scales with a yellow underbelly and looks at Saraph with intelligent eyes. Fyoras are used by shapers as guards and even pets occasionally. Saraph heard from his sister that they are capable of spiting globules of fire twenty feet through the air although he has never been witness to it. Saraph doesn’t mind the fyoras, they are there as guards and he has nothing to hide. He walks by without a backwards glance and turns into the shop about a hundred yards later. As Saraph enters the shop the merchant there notices him immediately. “Hello there, how may I help you today?” “I need everything on this list please.” As Saraph speaks he hands over a list of items his mother wrote down that they needed. “Ah not a problem wait hear a moment.” The merchant calls over his shoulder as he turns and begins gathering the items on the list. He hands Saraph a bunch of pods first. Saraph recognises them as healing pods, they contain a substance created by shapers that once spread onto a wound it proceeds to change itself into new skin and tissue and knits the wound back up without the trace of the original injury at all. Saraph marvels at the genius of the shapers for a moment but is snapped out of his thoughts as the merchant begins to speak. “So you heard the news?” “What news?” Saraph inquires. “A powerful shaper is on his way to evaluate Shaper Ayden’s performance. Bout time too if you ask me, could do with the relief.” He realises what he just said and laughs fakely. “I’m kidding you, Ayden’s doing great isn’t he?” the merchant corrects. “Yeh, fantastic.” Saraph replies with a hint of sarcasm. The truth being that Shaper Ayden is new to the rank of shaper and as such was given a small out of the way town to supervise, the problem now is that Ayden is too inexperienced and cannot provide the support that a more advanced shaper could, but even though he is inexperienced he is still a shaper and you don’t speak bad of a shaper at all. Ayden’s inexperience results in farmers being required and a serious lack of defences. The news of a powerful shaper coming to evaluate Ayden is good, maybe now the town will receive some support and help. The merchant finishes gathering up the rest of the items and collects a silver coin along with three bronze coins and hands over the items. Saraph collects them in his arms and returns home. Saraph packs away the items he just bought and glances at the to do list in his pocket. As he looks down he notices that once line states ‘fix the filter’. The filter is a small device behind the house that Shaper Ayden has made a requirement to all houses in the town, it works by feeding the households water through a sponge like creation that absorbs all the foreign particles in the water, and for some reason it is playing up. As Saraph is the only person in the house that knows how it works he decides that he should sort it out. He collects the toolkit from the cupboard under the sink and heads out to the filter. As he inspects it he notices a number of minor problems that the filter has and gets to work. He opens up the filter and gently removes the sponge creation putting it carefully to one side, he then proceeds to clean and retighten the seals. This is a very tedious job as there are so many different pipes and junctions he is still working when his mother pokes her head round the door. “Dinners ready.” As she says this Saraph’s stomach growls like a tiger cub, he realises he missed lunch and hurries into the house taking his seat at the table. His dad tells Saraph that harvest begins tomorrow and that he will wake Saraph up in the morning, other than that the table stays quiet while they eat. Saraph cleans his plate and returns outside to finish the water filter in the dark, within the hour he is finished and decides that he should sleep due to the fact that he must be up early in the morning. P.S. Many Apologies if it is hard on the eyes it is hard to split up a chapter to make it easier to read while still keeping the paragraphing correct, so for the sake of a good story i sacraficed a small amount of the easy read, it reads well on my document writer.