Articulate Vlish untitledkiller Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 this fan fiction is: A:set after the "peace" ending B: Is set from the point of view of the G5 PC C: is not cannon D: probably has lots of mistakes in it (I blame it on writing this at 12:00 prolog: arrogance The men seated around the table where all locked in a struggle that would decide the future of nations. Each one was staring at each other one trying to predict their next move. Finally, one spoke "Listen, if you don't open more then three gates into your territory then trade will be cut off!" "Trade will not be cut off off it will simply be, suppressed"said the shaper negotiator a hint of venom in his words "Resources are running low, on both sides of the wall!" said the first man again, sounding rather frantic "Are you suggesting that my nation cannot support our citizens?" A real note of anger in the voice this time "No bu-" "we can discuss this tomorrow."said the shaper. Both men stood up from the table, the crackle of essence filled the air. The mediator stepped in, quickly pushing the two men back. "this meeting is adjourned, meet here noon tomorrow. The three reable negotiators filed out of the room quickly. As the shaper negotiator left the room Adian grabbed his shoulder "what" the words snapped out like a whip. While most people, when confronted with an angry shaper, would back down Adian had some experience in the ways of shapers. "I was sent here by councilor Astoria herself to ensure peace!" he said feeling the canister anger rising in him, suppressing it he continued. "And no matter what we must avoid war, do you understand!?, another outburst like today and I will have you before the council" "yes fine what ever NOW SHUT UP" the shaper replied, however a look of horror set it when he realized who he was talking to."that was unwise" Adian said pushing past the shaper. Heading for his rooms he walked through the dark hallways of the shaper/reable embassy finding his room (102) he walked into the dark, crypt feeling, room. waving his hand at the lamp to light it he lay on his bed and fell into an uneasy sleep. (p.s if you spot an error just post an ill change it) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody Ouroboros Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Maybe when the " sign you must use capital words and several of the conversation doesnt have the " sign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Acky Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Cool. You might want to reconsider doing the "he said" "she said" thing. It made it a little difficult to read. The Last Archon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Articulate Vlish untitledkiller Posted January 10, 2009 Author Share Posted January 10, 2009 ok thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Drayk Armitage Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Paragraphs are your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 The first word is misspelled, and it's not alone. —Alorael, who believes spell check may also be your friend. Copy into word processor, check, copy again, past into browser. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody Ouroboros Posted January 11, 2009 Share Posted January 11, 2009 There still few words that need to be capitalized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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