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Want to do something, nothing I want to do - Anyone else get this?


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I currently have nothing I really have to do other than chill out due to life circumstances. My friends are taking care of the hard work for a change, and they say I should just relax, enjoy myself, keep up my ADLs (Activities of Daily Living, for those who have never been at a psych hospital to hear the term; bathing, cleaning, eating healthy, etc.) and wait patiently. I should be pretty good.

 

But there's something that happens now and then throughout my life, where I'm bored, and I want to not be bored, but doing anything else would be just as if not more loathesome than doing nothing. Is there a word for this? Some people call it "ennui" but I think really that's just a synonym for "boredom". I know I'm not the only person who ever feels this way.

 

Two thirds of my life has often had refreshing this forum over and over hoping for a new post as my entertainment. Saying that doesn't make me feel good. :P But I know many people do that with Facebook or similar websites. I've seen memes about it.

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While all the people here are certainly the finest people in the world ... ok, for the most part they're alright... well, maybe one or two of them wouldn't fart on your pillow if you invited them over.... constantly hitting F5 to see if there's a new pearl of wisdom shared with the rest of humanity really doesn't sound like a good use of your time (or good for your mental health...).  There's a whole world out there (real or online), what do you like to do/what do you want to learn more about/etc?  Regardless of what you enjoy, there's probably an online community/forums out there where you can interact with those people (probably even one if you are interested in going to other's houses & farting on their pillows...) to learn more about subject 'x'.  Always wanted to learn how to cook better or learn to play a musical instrument?  Hundreds & hundreds of hours on most any subject available over on YT.  The other day you mentioned listening to music.  How about a deep dive into the band's history/meaning behind some of the songs.

 

As one who's often stuck sitting in a chair due to physical limitations, if you've got an internet connection, there's no reason to be bored.  TvTropes alone is a rabbit hole that can take a day or three to climb out of (for instance).

 

Most anything would be better than sitting around waiting on the 1-3 new posts/day here.  Maybe learn how to spin your belly button lint into yarn & make a sweater out of it.

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Posted (edited)

Well, I've been playing Exile 3, making a BoE tutorial, playing Minecraft, watching movies and shows, listening to music and making CD-length mixes, cleaning my apartment, going for walks, making pixel art, talking to friends and family, and more. Just not today, or on other days that I'm unable to predict until they hit me. I'm not sure you read my post correctly. Maybe I stated it poorly.

Edited by The Almighty Doer of Stuff
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You can try to find a cheap, older game that can still run on your computer. Something other than Spiderweb games that will give you hours of mindless fun and that you won't care if you ever finish.

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2 hours ago, The Almighty Doer of Stuff said:

I'm not sure you read my post correctly. Maybe I stated it poorly.

 

No, I read it.  I just didn't know of a word that you were asking for (probably a German one, they seem to have a word for every situation).  However, while it may have been the main spoken (written) question, it wasn't the main issue.  'Knowing' the very little about you that I do over several years here, & some of the issues you have/face (& face them reasonably well from what I can tell), having you/your mind sit around with nothing to do/focus on isn't a good thing for more than an occasional little while.  Thus the suggestions for you to find something new & interesting (to you) to both take away the boredom of not wanting to do the same things that you do do to occupy your time, & to give your mind something new to focus on so that it doesn't overclock itself thinking about things off in an odd direction.

 

Not to your extent certainly, but I have been there (at least in the general neighborhood anyway) myself.  Mainly when I first got seriously hurt & not being able to do much more than sit here/on the couch most of the time.  I had to find something to focus on rather than sitting there thinking about how life really sucked after everything from the accident shook out.  So I found new hobbies/things to occupy my time just to keep my brain occupied & focused on so that it didn't drift further into a negative direction.

 

So, having sort of been in a similar situation, I ignored the spoken question & tried to provide a warning (that you've probably heard before) that you should find 'x' to give yourself something new to focus on.  Big or small, doing/learning something new is good for anyone's mental health, let alone one who's mind can drift off into really dark places.

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Posted (edited)

Thank you. It is a passing mindset, probably some type of "mood" associated with bipolar disorder or schizophrenia; usually I keep occupied with something at least but on uncommon occasion I can't bring myself to be interested in anything at all. That's why I was asking about it. It's not a chronic thing, but it happens maybe two or three days out of a month. I usually call it "malaise" but it's been so long since the last time I felt this way that I forgot the term until about two hours ago. I wonder if that is a good term for it.

 

The boss around here is a psychiatrist. Maybe he knows. Except I think I've asked him before... Hm. I just can't shake the notion that it's a psychiatric affect akin to mania and depression, or maybe a variant thereof, and not just a passing mood. If I had any resources I'd look into studying it. Or being studied. Maybe someday. Anyway it's kinda passing and I think I'll play Exile 3, but discussion is still welcome. I'd hope it wouldn't be all about me specifically though. Oh well. Maybe people aren't as interested in psychology in general as I am.

I know yesterday I had dysphoric mania. I spent all day sulking, moping, and dreading, until the evening when my mom suggested I take a pill. It felt like depression but I took a sedative and it went away, whereas if it was real depression and not dysphoric mania, it would get worse. I usually spot that feeling quickly but it's uncommon enough that I'm not on the lookout for it usually. Maybe it's something like that.

 

I feel like this post is disjointed but I'm still manic and I can't straighten it out. I hope you all don't think I'm complaining. I'm not. I do like to start intellectual discussion.

 

EDIT: Actually what I call "malaise" tends to be filled with more discomfort and unease, like something is wrong in the situation but no matter what I think about it or what I do I can't pinpoint what it is or shake the feeling, even if there's really nothing wrong at all. This feels different.

 

I realize that I'm more of a headcase than most people even within the mental health world, recovered and skilled though I am. Maybe my maladies are breeding and creating new hybrids which have never been spotted in the wild. 😛

Edited by The Almighty Doer of Stuff
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38 minutes ago, The Almighty Doer of Stuff said:

It's not a chronic thing, but it happens maybe two or three days out of a month.

 

Consecutively? If you can remember, is there any sort of regularity to that?  Tied to the phase of the moon (seriously - I've known people who's moods have been affected by if it's a full or new moon)?  If you can't remember then write the dates down when it does happen & maybe in a few months there will be evidence one way or the other.  If nothing else it may give you advance warning that "next week the 'malaise' might show up..." & give you a chance to be proactive about minimizing the impact.

 

44 minutes ago, The Almighty Doer of Stuff said:

If I had any resources I'd look into studying it.

 

You obviously have internet access.  Talk to the doc about it & maybe he will give you directions/avenues to search in (or even access to medical sites that require a subscription once you really get into it).  From there it's a matter of sorting the wheat from the chaff, but that's relatively easy to do as long as you aren't out there looking for conformation bias.  It may not lead to anything but it's a project that will keep you busy if nothing else (along with learning more about the/your brain which in turn will let you have more productive sessions/appointments with the docs as you both will be speaking the same, more detailed language)

 

48 minutes ago, The Almighty Doer of Stuff said:

Maybe my maladies are breeding and creating new hybrids which have never been spotted in the wild.

 

Given how messed up this timeline has been recently, it's probably going to merge with C-19 & we'll all be screwed...

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I can;t speak for the severity, but I get something like that every so often, when I don't want to do anything, but don't want to not be doing anything.  Generally, I have to force myself to do something, and sort of build up inertia until it's easy to keep doing it, but that requires only up to a specific amount of not wanting to do anything.

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