Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Behold ye fellow Spiderwebbers, our once vibrant gods are no longer! Richard White has vanished into the galactic core. The Nine-Headed Cave Cow is spending His and Her kineness in a state of eternal facehooving. The Great Spider in the Sky no longer thinks you're cute. Cthulhu now has an adorable kitten named Samuel Longbottoms. Followers of Divine Lucre have caused Punctuated™ hyperinflation. Vahnatai creationists have dwindled due to the Great Ihrno schism. Anama temples are full of skribbane addicts. Chicken gods, yes the chicken gods, are no longer heard of! What gods shall we now exalt, o murderers of murderers? Half-Sicilian, half-Javan sausages? Eggplants with tails? Scorpius? Zoot-suit-donning dust mites? Shall we seek herds and believers? Or fellow creators? The fate of the gods rests in your hands; go forth and choose wisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted May 28, 2014 Author Share Posted May 28, 2014 what Ah yes, the interrogative pronoun. Those'll make great items of worship. All bow before our holy prophet Lilith! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Sudanna Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 I vote we worship the concept of nothing. That's the real nihilism. Callie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Mistah Q Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 The last refugees of Pralgad then did, in their inebriation, eastward sail for month on month... those Nephil few... until land did once again come into sight... ...but Svorgald was a silly place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk adc. Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Behold ye fellow Spiderwebbers, our once vibrant gods are no longer! Richard White has vanished into the galactic core. The Nine-Headed Cave Cow is spending His and Her kineness in a state of eternal facehooving. The Great Spider in the Sky no longer thinks you're cute. Cthulhu now has an adorable kitten named Samuel Longbottoms. Followers of Divine Lucre have caused Punctuated™ hyperinflation. Vahnatai creationists have dwindled due to the Great Ihrno schism. Anama temples are full of skribbane addicts. Chicken gods, yes the chicken gods, are no longer heard of! What gods shall we now exalt, o murderers of murderers? Half-Sicilian, half-Javan sausages? Eggplants with tails? Scorpius? Zoot-suit-donning dust mites? Shall we seek herds and believers? Or fellow creators? The fate of the gods rests in your hands; go forth and choose wisely. yes Kelandon 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 (edited) We are the ones we've been waiting for! Edited May 28, 2014 by Triumph Can we get a pope? Pleeeeeeaaaaaaase?? nikki. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Level 1 Hermit Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 All shall bow before me! Me! ME! MEEEEEE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 All shall bow to the Troll God, Excalibur. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Richard White was never a god, exactly. To quote from the scripture: 2. What's all this about a secret society or cult?In recent months several posters have professed to be members of a secret order associated in some way with Richard White. The order has a complex hierarchy, with lower ranking members knowing little of its true purposes. It has been alleged that the order controls its members with brain implants (and/or eyebrow-like outplants), has secretly taken over the US Navy, deploys hit teams of trained needle/ferrets, and generally dabbles in things better left unindabbled. It's all kind of fuzzy, now. My implants haven't been updated in years. I never really knew what was going on, anyway, because my rank in the order was never higher than Imponderable Archon. That rank sounded really good when I signed up, but it turned out to be mere middle management. The darkest dark secret I ever learned was where we kept the pencil sharpener. The horror, the horror. Triumph 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Maybe you will get upgraded retroactively. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Mistah Q Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Maybe you will get upgraded retroactively. Or Posthumously like the Tawon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted May 28, 2014 Share Posted May 28, 2014 Yeah. Or maybe it has already happened. I always suspected that my implants outranked me. Maybe they've been promoted so high above me now that I myself am no longer in their loop. They kind of nod vaguely at the rest of my brain, when we pass in the neural corridor. They're not even really embarrassed, just a bit annoyed to have to act polite, for old times' sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 I don't think I ever realized that the infamous ex post facto implants were linked to the Richard White Cult. I feel so enlightened now. Are the fluffy turtles quasi-deific figures in forum mythology? If not, do they deserve apotheosis? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted May 29, 2014 Author Share Posted May 29, 2014 IIRC, the fluffy turtles were based on a plush toy owned by Almighty Doer of Stuff. They're mostly part of the sanity joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 The turtles aren't deific. I think of them more as forum substrate. —Alorael, who doesn't think the Cult of Richard White has gone anywhere, except maybe to yesterday. But when the cults are quiet is when you need to worry most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Slawbug Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Deictic deific: the Nine-Headed Cave Cow frowns upon thee, Excalibur, and is sending His and Herd Facepalming Hecatombchires to defy your deify and axe your hetero-oxy with meaty appendages and tolling cowbells. Callie 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Understated Ur-Drakon Callie Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 I've decided that I should worship the Surprise Gopher. Nobody knows what the doctrine of the Surprise Gopher is: that's part of the surprise. Someday, the Surprise Gopher will provide us with a doctrine. And we will be surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Swimmin' Salmon Posted June 1, 2014 Share Posted June 1, 2014 My eyebrows have a life of their own at times. I expect it's a little more dangerous than mine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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