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RadioRefuge - Unprofessionalism at its finest!


keira
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I do a semi-occasional radio stream, and semi-occasionally it's worth listening to. Here's a link.

 

I encourage all listeners to log onto the calref chat and hang out, and you can also ask questions for Q&A there. You can also do that by beaming 'telaverin' on AIM.

 

 

(original post)

 

 

I'm doing a radio show

 

http://calref.net:8000/stream

 

like listen and stuff

 

i'm also taking Q&A in my chat

http://calref.net/chat

 

if you aren't a refugi (you hsould be) just enter any username and no pass. should work. become one

 

if not i guess you can ask questions in here

 

so yeah listen to my unprofessionalism and random music

 

Edited by S▒y░░e▒
new OP becuase the old one sucked (and this one is so much better?).
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yay, thank you everyone for showing up. Had a good time.

 

I will probably/maybe be doing a show sunday (15) at 10:00 PM MDT. Will that time work for everyone? Also, if y'all have any requests, please tell me ASAP so I can get them for you, unfortunately my internet is such that I cannot get them while streaming. yay 256kbps unreliable link and 128 kbps stream.

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News! News! Get it while it's nice and hot! wink

 

I will be doing a broadcast tomorrow at 9:00 PM MDT. That's midnight Eastern and if you are a different timezone you've been around long enough to have a converter handy.

 

Two tidbits, though. First, and not that big of a deal, I have completely redone the server backend, making it 20% cooler and more stable. The stream now also transmits in AAC+ rather than Ogg.

 

Secondly, and more importantly, an acquaintance of mine will be doing a little show at 8:30 PM MDT until mine starts. I haven't heard him, and I think he's relatively new to radio stuff too, but I'd appreciate it if you could tune in a half-hour early for him and show some support. I can, of course, relay comments and whatever to him.

 

Again, the link is http://calref.net:8000/stream (if you have connection issues there are tips here). To ask questions, leave comments, requests, complaints, whatever, just AIM at telaverin or hit me up on the CalRef chat.

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So, rather short-notice, but I wanna. Show tonight, um, tomorrow...whatever.

 

Wed, Jul 18, 8:00 PM MDT. Current estimates place the duration at one hour.

 

The good news is, this show has a theme! I have scoured my library for acoustic songs. I love how iTunes tells me I have nine days of noise but I could only come up with an hour of music.

 

and yeah i have decided to actually kind of plan things now. Themed shows may or may not become more common.

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I have the same experience any time I try to stick to a theme. In the end I rarely end my show with the same genre I started with. People seem to listen anyway, though. (Also, if you had started an hour later I could have just gone the lazy route and plugged you into KDNK.)

I am going the lazy route and plugging you into RadioRefuge :p

 

so really, the message to all the east-coasers:

 

mlfw178_1308491058_furseiseki_lunadontgotobed.png

 

Edited by Arancaytar
you silly real radio people with your station callsigns >.>
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Hello.

 

Yes, I'm still around. I just don't come to the Spidweb boards anymore. I've found a much more relaxed, more fun, less uptight, more understanding, less judgmental, more forgiving community at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster message boards, and I had to make choices about how I wanted to spend my time, and Spidweb didn't make the cut.

 

Nevertheless, I'm here to say that I will most likely be doing a radio show on RadioRefuge just prior to Sylae's tonight, at 7 PM - 8 PM Mountain Daylight Time, or 9 PM - 10 PM Eastern Daylight Time.

 

I will most likely be playing a variety of music, including classic rock, alternative rock, neoclassical, New Wave, folk-pop, and other assorteds. Have an open mind and you may enjoy it.

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A community becomes what it is perceived to be. If we accept the premise that Spidweb is judgmental and unforgiving, those that cannot accept such a outlook will flee and those that favor such conditions will become emboldened.

 

/endrant

 

Actually, a community becomes what a community becomes, and individual perception factors little into it. Trying to approach community dynamics a la The Secret is bound to get you nowhere fast.

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...a much more relaxed, more fun, less uptight, more understanding, less judgmental, more forgiving community...

Nice to see you again, too.

 

I dunno, maybe I'm imagining things.

 

I just tend to associate Spidweb with rudeness and obscenity being applauded, people categorizing and characterizing themselves and others compulsively (often in offensive ways), and everyone just taking themselves and their hobbies and interests far too seriously.

 

I mean, seriously, does anyone even remember that Rosycat was a 13 year old girl who was relentlessly sexually harassed by adults until she left without a word, and now she's a robotic tour guide on a rehash of an immature RP I started years ago? I don't understand it.

 

Is my understanding incorrect? Maybe it's just colored by the fact that I grew up and learned to be a good person through endless social gaffes here, and I kind of want to forget it all happened. But a lot of you seem nice still. But tooooo serious nevertheless.

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I mean, seriously, does anyone even remember that Rosycat was a 13 year old girl who was relentlessly sexually harassed by adults until she left without a word...

 

Wait, what? How long ago was this? That is serious business of the extremely bad kind.

 

FWIW, I'm kind of new here, and not a frequent reader/poster. But from what I've seen of current Spidweb, I don't think the mods would tolerate sexual harassment of anyone. I have seen a (single) situation where people seemed to forget that a poster here was a minor, but I don't think that elevated to the level of harassment.

 

So, I hope you'll forgive me for being somewhat doubtful.

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Desperance? The people who were trying to make a free BoE alternative (Pygmalion or something) and never got anywhere with it? I didn't know they had forums.

 

Serious or not serious, that is quite disturbing, assuming it's correct.

 

(No, I don't think you're lying. I just don't like to assume the worst.)

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Wait, what? How long ago was this? That is serious business of the extremely bad kind.

 

FWIW, I'm kind of new here, and not a frequent reader/poster. But from what I've seen of current Spidweb, I don't think the mods would tolerate sexual harassment of anyone. I have seen a (single) situation where people seemed to forget that a poster here was a minor, but I don't think that elevated to the level of harassment.

 

So, I hope you'll forgive me for being somewhat doubtful.

 

It was a very long time ago - I only vaguely remember Rosycat, so I'd put it pre-2004 as a ballpack figure.

 

The moderators do a great job in making sure the boards are family-friendly and welcoming to everybody, absolutely, but I actually think a lot of it is due to the board evolving and growing up. A lot (most? all?) of the more volatile members of that period have left, and the boards have gradually become a lot mellower over time; partly as a result of that, partly because those who did stick around are all a bit older, and a bit wiser now, and probably partly due to a million and one reasons somebody else will surely point out.

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If I remember correctly some of the mods were in on it as well. My memory is shot to hell due to my medications, though, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

 

Show starts in less than 8 minutes. Tune in here: http://calref.net:8000/stream

 

Here's a page with instructions for people who don't know what to do with that URL: http://calref.net/index.php?action=radio

 

Come here to join the chat if you want, I'd like to interact with the crowd maybe. You'll need to register. http://calref.net/chat/

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Most of it happened on Desperance, but it did spill over here as well. It seemed like everyone was trying to get in this girl's pants, whether seriously or not I don't know.

The off-colour posts about Rosycat on Desp were mostly by Scorpius, and if you take anything Scorpius says at face value then you're the one taking things too seriously. On SW, there was probably a general environment that wouldn't be tolerated today and some stuff people said that was messed up in hindsight, but the main people involved weren't adults -- they were in their mid-teens at most.

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From what I remember, it was mostly obviously joking, in the spirit of the rough and tumble ways of Misc back then, and Rosycat took the jokes and ran with them. Acceptable? No, but it's also probably a mischaracterization to say that they drove her away. She seemed fine with them until she stopped posting, as people do.

 

Compare to the way everyone teasingly talks about seducing Aran. Not serious at all, and also not creepy because he's an adult. But primarily it's all said in fun.

 

And that was all a long time ago. I'm not completely surprised that those are the memories that stuck, because those were bad times, the Desperance posse on Misc especially, but Spiderweb has come a long way. Sometimes we do take things seriously, but on the whole I'd say this is a friendlier and more accepting corner of the internet than most.

 

—Alorael, who won't call Spiderweb perfect. And there is a tendency to humorously stereotype people, and humor can be hurtful if the stereotype hits a sore spot. But crucially, from what I've seen if someone points out that they don't like it the joke will be dropped here. Not everyone picks up discomfort over the internet well, but the intentions are good.

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Compare to the way everyone teasingly talks about seducing Aran. Not serious at all, and also not creepy because he's an adult. But primarily it's all said in fun.

 

I'm...not serious about seducing Aran? :(

Edited by Arancaytar
sudo SHUT THE HELL UP ALORAEL ARAN I LOOOVE YOU <3
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But crucially, from what I've seen if someone points out that they don't like it the joke will be dropped here. Not everyone picks up discomfort over the internet well, but the intentions are good.

 

This.

 

Also, ADoS, I think your characterization is quite unfair for a few reasons.

 

1. The best example you can think of happened, by your own admission, mostly on Desp.

 

2. As Alorael points out, the "victim" in that example did not object to what was going on and even extended it at times. Among other things she lied about her age for some time, saying she was older than she was. TM and a few others went overboard with tasteless comments, it's true, but even in 2002-2003 when it happened, it would not have been fair to characterize the entire community based on those few people.

 

(By the way: I didn't make her a robotic tour guide. I chose her as an iconic vessel for the voice of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow because she was a long-gone member, who people have since spoken of quite positively, and I thought it was quite in the spirit of the poetry and other creative things she used to post.)

 

3. The dates above are accurate. That was ten years ago! The banner incident was also 2002, I believe. I think it's a strange choice to come back to a forum you haven't posted on in 4 years, and then badmouth the community there using examples that are from 10 years earlier.

 

4. Other people who were here in the later years that you were, say 2006-2008, have not characterized the community in the way you did. I think there is at least a partial truth in some of the words you chose. Nonetheless it bears asking: why was your experience so much worse than that of many other community members? I think it is only fair to point out that you brought some of this on yourself. I never spoke an evil word to you, ADoS, despite the fact that you came into otherwise friendly chats, spouted homophobic insults, and initiated IMs with me in which you told me that my name rhymed with sexual words and my PDN reminded you of bukkake.

 

So I'm not saying you're entirely wrong in your assessment, but my memory of your time here is quite different from how you present it. I'm probably taking this too seriously myself; but I think it would be a pity if your strangely placed negativity darkened the spirit of things around here.

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Originally Posted By: Homage
Originally Posted By: Digital Nihil Obstat
Compare to the way everyone teasingly talks about seducing Aran. Not serious at all, and also not creepy because he's an adult. But primarily it's all said in fun.

I'm...not serious about seducing Aran? frown


There's a long line, bub, and you're at the back of it.
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Eh, I don't know what to think, really.

 

Part of me would be interested in returning here. I "grew up" here. I was 13 when I joined the community in 2001, almost 11 years ago.

 

But I suppose my perception is colored. In my formative teenage years I learned that it was cool to be mean, rude, bawdy, and obscene. I learned that I was a jerk and would always be a jerk and that that was a good thing, and part of me fears if I come back here, then by simple conditioning those behaviors will emerge again. I've tried to move on and the FSM community has helped me do so immensely, but I'm still afraid of this place.

 

In the FSM community I'm known as a peacemaker, a good listener, concerned about the well-being of my friends, sensitive, intelligent, self-aware, and witty. It's a perception I've worked hard to cultivate, because it's the way I want people to know me. It was a new beginning, just like college was a new beginning for me that same year. I don't even know how people perceive me here anymore. If I could come back here with a new beginning, it might be nice to reconnect with my past friends, but I wonder whether I'd be able to be my "new self" here without people dragging up the past.

 

(Yes, I know I just dragged up the past myself, but at least I didn't name anyone in particular, and again, I screw up a lot and still make a lot of social gaffes for a variety of reasons, but like I said the FSM community is a LOT more forgiving of those gaffes, sometimes even breaking forum standards and deleting my stupid posts on request just because they like me that much.)

 

I finally learned when I showed up at FSM Discussion that I don't have to be categorized by what other people think I should be, or that what other people think is cool is the way I should be. But I remember between 2006 when I found the FSM community, and 2008 when I mostly left this place, I was leading a double life. The "old me" was still here and the "new me" was over there, and I didn't like it, so I left here and stayed there.

 

That place is like family to me. We have a subforum called "Rant, Rave and Misbehave" which is viewable only by registered members with at least one post, which isn't searchable or archived by search engines, and which is autopruned every 30 days. There we have threads like "The Good News Thread", "Daily Rant", "Daily Whine", "The Bad News Thread", "random thoughts thread", and others, where we post intimate details about the goings on in our lives, and we help each other through our problems, and we celebrate our successes, and we vent about our frustrations, and it makes us all feel very close to one another. There's nothing like that anywhere in this community, except for CalRef, but even there there's often angry fights between people who are otherwise friends. There was an angry, bitter fight at the FSM Discussion boards when I showed up, involving one admin being dethroned and replaced with another, and several people left, but I don't know what they were fighting about because aside from heated debates in the debate forums and a bit of occasional admin-baiting (which they take in stride), there hasn't been a single flame war since! We're even nice to the religious-nut trolls, never mind the non-nutty non-troll religious people who show up just to be friendly or to learn and debate! That was 2006, and it's now 2012! SIX YEARS! What a stable, happy community! THAT'S something I can feel good about being a part of!

 

My memory loss prevents me from recalling the exact circumstances of my departure, but honestly I don't want to be reminded. I probably did something embarrassing and rude and felt this place was incapable of forgiving me for it, and I don't know how true that last bit is.

 

Like I said, I don't know how people perceive me here. I don't even know how I'm perceived at CalRef, aside from being sarcastic, because we fight a lot and a lot of hurtful things are said that we don't mean. I'd be curious to find out whether people actually miss me here, how they remember me, and more importantly, whether they'd let me have a new beginning.

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Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba
You can complain about how Spiderweb sucks by dragging up things that happened 6 to 11 years ago or you can have a new beginning at SW, but you can't have it both ways.

Dikiyoba.


Would it help if I apologized and said I'd like my new beginning to start with my previous post? Like I said, being here in this community as a child helped me grow up but it also traumatized me somewhat, and it's just as hard for me to disconnect this community from that distant past as it probably is for the rest of you to disconnect me from my past. I guarantee you I will slip up again here if I stick around, because unfortunately my mental functioning is not quite normal, a long-developing fact that I am still coming to grips with, but I'd like to think I couldn't be faulted for trying, at least.
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Are there still rules around here against double posting even if you're posting about a somewhat different idea? I hope not.

 

I remembered why I left, and left again.

 

I find the conversation on this message board to generally be dull and dry. Like I said, I felt it wasn't worth my time reading here unless someone directed me to something particular of interest (such as Sylae telling me to post here about my show), especially considering I don't really play Spiderweb Software games anymore. Glancing around I see that is still the case. That's why I left in 2008 and have posted only sporadically since then.

 

That's NOT to say that I think the PEOPLE here are dull and dry. I remember I stayed in contact with numerous of you on AIM and Facebook and such. I just feel you guys are far more interesting in a live conversation or on Facebook than on this message board, I guess.

 

The reason I "left" again and deleted everyone in the community from my contacts except Arancaytar and Nicothodes, however, was that I got in an argument with Sylae and Neb at the Calamity Refuge, and they were very mean to me for whatever reason (I may have said something rude and they were additionally already in bad moods and it snowballed or something, I can't remember), and I was feeling sensitive that day or something and decided to leave the days of Spidweb in my past completely, and focus on people who I knew were nice to me.

 

I disappeared for several weeks, and found that I was happy without Spidweb and CalRef. I could focus on other things that made me happy that I just didn't have time for while I was sitting in the chat room all day doing nothing.

 

But eventually curiosity got the better of me, and I popped into the chat room again, and to my surprise I was greeted with excitement and happiness, and found that I had been missed and I wasn't really hated. I stayed around again, making sure to take time out from the chat whenever I want or need it instead of getting addicted to it like I used to. It was sort of like "I Am A Human Head" by They Might Be Giants, the human head stripping down his life to the bare essentials, finding what makes him happy, and then rebuilding it the way he wants it.

 

Now Nikki, Tyranicus, and Slarty are popping into CalRef chat fairly often, and I'm realizing they're still nice, intelligent people who make for good conversation. (Side note: Sorry about the "awful" comment, Slarty. That should have come with a tongue smiley, but I'm so used to not needing it in CalRef because the regulars there know my sense of humor so well. I'll try to keep that in mind for the future.) I'd like to re-add some of you guys to my various contacts, but again, I don't even know if I'm liked at all around here or whether people would be accepting of my tendency toward social faux pas and forgive me when when I screw up, like the good folks at the FSM Discussion forums and, to a lesser extent, the Calamity Refuge do.

 

What say you all?

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Actaeon indicates that I'm probably overthinking this, which is something I tend to do. I also tend to make people angry when I overthink things, as I'm probably doing now, but sometimes I can't help it. It's just the way my brain works (or doesn't work) and the people who really like me tend to be able to see past that into who I am and try to be.

 

I'm just going to send out a bunch of friend requests on Facebook and let the chips fall where they may. tongue

 

Sorry to ruin your radio thread, Sylae. Carry on...

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Welcome back, to whatever extent you come back. We still like you, and still reference fluffy turtles in your honor. Or at least in part from your doing.

 

If you feel like poking your head in now and then, or just joining the chats, I think everyone would be glad to have you. (In fairness, I can't really vouch for the chats; I'm never in them.)

 

—Alorael, who thinks it's easy to ruminate on the bad memories and forget the good ones. Remember, even when things were at their worst a good decade ago, a whole counter-Desperance conspiracy coalesced. People like you here.

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