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In this topic we discuss the merits of creating a synthesized Zombie horde.


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A lab created Zombie would be an amazing tool against the darned space creatures that,according to the media, will at some point invade our planet. The merits of said Zombies include a disposable horde which can be sacrificed without doubts to protect their threatened, beloved creators without hesitation, loss of morale, and an upkeep. Since Zombies as portrayed in Media are not required to acquire and consume nourishment apart from their desire for our brains, they are extremely cost effective and they could be stationed almost anywhere. Zombies, being the Undead and terrorizing creatures that they are, would lower enemy morale and could be used to quickly spread mass amount of synthetic viruses/bacteria to attempt and overwhelm their bodies which has just as large possibility to fail as it does to succeed.

 

Cons would include destruction of crops if the Zombies are made hosts of disease, possible alien take over of Zombies through some kind of Mind Control, and ability of Zombies to think for themselves, for if we give them any measure of independent thought, they could eventually revolt. But this last con could be easily remedied.

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Here is the fatal flaw:

 

Originally Posted By: Cthulhu
...protect their threatened, beloved creators...

 

If I were a zombie, I'd be mighty POed with whoever made me one.

 

Wait, brains are optional?

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Also, you're forgetting the bit where they EAT OUR FREAKING BRAINS. It's not a matter of "possible revolt"; set them loose, and they're going to chow down on their creators just as quickly as they do any alien.

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If we can create zombies in a lab and somehow relay orders to them with said zombies lacking brains, I do believe we can control them good sir.

 

Unless you thought I meant they would be simply set loose like the unbound.

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Oh dear.

 

Well, whilst you try to relay orders to a shambling horde which has only the desire to feed on your soft, juicy brain, I shall be taming a velociraptor so that I may ride upon it like a horse.

 

I mean, both have equal odds of succeeding, yes?

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This works only if our alien invaders have brains and only if said brains are biologically similar enough to trigger zombie attacks. And, let's be honest, only if they bring along the kind of unarmed, unprepared civilian populations that become zombie fodder.

 

Actually, I'm having trouble seeing how zombies help at all. Aliens will be arriving with no knowledge of how Earth is. If they learn we have zombies, well, they'll just take necessary zombie precautions. They're threats only in numbers and only to targets who aren't prepared and fortified.

 

—Alorael, who concludes that zombies are a great way to ensure that aliens don't need to invade to cause the end of humanity. DARPA can save a few billion dollars this year.

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We will never get zombie armies if Nikki keeps scaring the zombie-creating scientists with her common sense. They can't eat our brains if they are on a space ship to our enemies home planet. None of the zombies will escape.

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No sir, the point of Zombies versus Aliens is that the Zombies are simply used to trick the aliens into thinking the Zombies are the main force used to attack each other, while we pull out our particle accelerator, reconfigure it to shoot the antimatter at the ships which will explode and completely annihilate everything on the planet; yay!

 

Note: If the above was possible, it'd probably be an end all invasion ender.

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Originally Posted By: No taxation without relaxation!
This works only if our alien invaders have brains and only if said brains are biologically similar enough to trigger zombie attacks.


Do zombies just want brains? I mean, I know where that comes from (The movie "Return of the Living Dead", which tried to distance itself from zombie movies that went before by having the zombies crave brains instead of all flesh (according to the wiki article I just looked up and plagurised)).

I mean, if we take, for instance, George A. Romero's "Night of the Living Dead" (and I'm only using this because I saw it last night - there are any number of other films I could mention here), the zombies there didn't want brains - they did eat any living flesh. As long as the aliens are biological and identifiable, they're still on the menu.
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what kind of aliens are we talking about here? aliens from the movie series Alien (sorry i couldn't figure out to intalicize) or aliens from the movie series Predator or another type of alien that i havn't heard of like aliens that have 10 heads, 15 arms, and 1 leg (10 times the brains i guess)

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Originally Posted By: Nikki
Well, whilst you try to relay orders to a shambling horde which has only the desire to feed on your soft, juicy brain, I shall be taming a velociraptor so that I may ride upon it like a horse.

I mean, both have equal odds of succeeding, yes?

Actually, this brings up an interesting point. The last book in the Pendragon series reveals that raptors can be trained with dog whistles and are remarkably effective against a much larger force of fleshy beings provided that this force is too stupid to use any tactics beyond "group together and relentlessly attack no matter what".

Dikiyoba is sure you can figure out where this is going.
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The thing is, though, there are far more useful weapons we could unleash on the alien menace. Like robots.

 

Think of it like this. Zombies are mindless creatures. So, when we release them, they're just going to amble about and cause destruction. Which is good, because most of that destruction will be against the aliens. However, they're inevitably going to get the munchies for human brains, and chow down on any people that they come across. And then, even after the aliens are gone, there's still going to be the inevitable cleanup operation to wrangle/destroy the marauding zombies.

 

On the other hand, if you had a highly efficient robotic army, you'd be able to do immense, focused damage against the alien horde. In fact, robots are more likely to defeat the extraterrestrial menace than zombies. Sure, a robotic revolution is almost guaranteed, but you can negotiate with robots. You can't negotiate with the zombie revolution.

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Originally Posted By: Cthulhu
I believe saying that Zombies want brains generally means they just want to consume your flesh, not brains exclusively.

And they'd better have flesh that triggers zombie rage.

—Alorael, who thinks robots are a much better investment. Like zombies, they can be made into unthinking or minimally-thinking swarm killers. Unlike zombies, they can be programmed not to eat humans and they're rather durable. Expensive, too, but probably worth the cost. The only downside is the inevitably rogue AI. It's probably best to stick with unmanned aerial drones even though it would ruin the end of Independence Day.
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Although the Aliens are obviously infinitely more technologically advanced than our own species, there is no need to tell them of:

Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba
Originally Posted By: Nikki
Well, whilst you try to relay orders to a shambling horde which has only the desire to feed on your soft, juicy brain, I shall be taming a velociraptor so that I may ride upon it like a horse.

 

I mean, both have equal odds of succeeding, yes?

Actually, this brings up an interesting point. The last book in the Pendragon series reveals that raptors can be trained with dog whistles and are remarkably effective against a much larger force of fleshy beings provided that this force is too stupid to use any tactics beyond "group together and relentlessly attack no matter what".

 

Dikiyoba is sure you can figure out where this is going.

 

Also, the reason for the Zombies is inspired from Rots, as it is described that they severely demoralize invading armies, and are very difficult to exterminate as they aren't alive, and they do not require any organs. Aliens would already know how to knock out electronics, as they have FTL drives which is amazingly advanced.

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yes i agree with the fact that robots are better then zombies but at least zombies don't have modern weapons for example some mad scientist makes a robot with rocket launchers, machine guns, and nukes (i said the scienist was mad) and any other weapon that is deadly and he loses control of it and since it was told to attack the aliens it would attack both sides (like Shaper Monarch) or the aliens get a hold of it and control it and they make more then its a battle: robots vs robots vs aliens vs humans vs robots vs zombies

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A real life Shaper Monarch with our technology probably wouldn't get too far unless it's in the middle of a World War, since he/she would be easy to stop as long as the leading nations had no qualms in a preemptive nuclear strike.

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if there was a real live Shaper Monarch then this is how the war would be like: aliens vs humans vs robots vs robots vs Shaper Monarch vs creations vs drakons vs The Unbound vs rebels vs shapers

 

or if it was a Seperate Deminsions War it be like this: Avernum vs Geneforge vs Outer Space vs Earth vs Exile

 

whew! thats a lot of fighting

 

also if Shaper Monarch existed then all forces would try to capture him and learn all of his shaping secrets

not kill him well the Shapers would certainly kill him

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Originally Posted By: Monroe
An ambiguous black and white picture


Actually, I don't think this is about phaser guns for zombies at all. I'm fairly certain that the man on the far left is giving a thumbs down of disapproval to the suited man, who looks fairly zombie-like. Or at least like a creep; the image is rather ambiguous.

But I think the real message of that photo is that we should not use our military research on zombies or robots, but on technology we can use. Like phasers to kill aliens with.
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Hmm, that brings about new revelations to be unveiled by the order of the knights of the order of the square table.

 

Topic wise : Make real Lightsabers, outfit the current Commando units with them and extensive training to defeat the aliens.

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for a large relentless group of savage murders that can't feel pain Vikings would be a much better choice. But Ninjas would be much better against aliens as they can both avoid the death-rays and sense an invisible aliens presence.

if all else fails we can convince Al-Qaeda that the aliens are dogs worthy of death, let them fly into the mother-ship, and two of worlds greatest threats will be destroyed.

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Chuck Norris, i almost forgot about him.

we must never forget Chuck Norris.

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The Ninja idea could possibly work quite effectively as I doubt the Aliens will be prepared to have their Mothership infiltrated and the command crew knocked out within the first day of the invasion.

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I think Ninjas would be a horrible idea. Yes they would be extremely effective., but we would have no way to insure their loyalty. We send Ninjas to their ships, now we have ninjas with advanced alien tech.

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Originally Posted By: RCCCL
I think Ninjas would be a horrible idea. Yes they would be extremely effective., but we would have no way to insure their loyalty. We send Ninjas to their ships, now we have ninjas with advanced alien tech.

enter Chuck Norris...
Or infect one of the Ninjas with a zombie virus, it would take only a few hours for the Ninjas to takeout the mothership but it would take all day for the virus to take efect. Then a Zombie could take out the Ninja crew.
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Um, maybe it's me, but Mindless Zombie > A Sngle Ninja, let alone multiple Ninjas. Maybe if you infected them all, but first you would have to find them, and them hope onE of the zombie ninjas didn't accidently trigger some massive weapon aboard the ships till you got a clean up crew there.

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Hey, maybe the aliens aren't so bad. Maybe we should try talking to them, you know, before we send in the ninja zombie velociraptor robots.

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Bah...everyone knows you can't make zombies with a virus, that's just hollywood.

 

You mean to use balck magic for it. In that case, the zombies will obey your commands, they can use weapons if you tell them too, they don't need to eat (if zombies are just people with viruses, they have to eat like people with the flu do...and you don't need headshots to kill people with measles).

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Really, folks, I think you're just thinking much too small.

 

First, do that whole Jurassic Park toads and mosquitoes thing, and get a lot of velociraptors. Zombify them. Then, give them all flamethrowers, jetpacks, and big sacks of chocolate covered espresso beans.

 

Now we're really talking horde.

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Or, we could unleash our ultimate weapon: Terrible cartoons. We'll reduce their overall level of intelligence by flooding their radio channels with the audio from popular cartoons which are just absolutely horrible these days.

 

Inb4nostalgia.

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Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity
First, do that whole Jurassic Park toads and mosquitoes thing, and get a lot of velociraptors. Zombify them. Then, give them all flamethrowers, jetpacks, and big sacks of chocolate covered espresso beans.

That's just silly. Everyone knows cloning doesn't work like that!

—Alorael, who offers a simpler alternative: declare four to six randomly selected individuals to be PCs. Give them insufficient equipment and the ability to save and reload. There will be collateral damage, particularly loss of property, but the day will be saved.
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Um... how about alien porn? I'm sure aliens need to breed somehow and whether it's creepy bug on bug gay orgy or alien facehuggers deepthroating each other, I know our dirty minds can film the filthiest crap out there and release them.

 

And just when they are distracted by all that smut, we send in the zombie ninja dragons on prozac.

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I think dragons themselves could handle the invasion alone, so we'll refrain from unleashing them 'cause it'd be way too simple.

 

I shall refrain from commenting on the pornography but I will point out that there IS elf porn so...

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