How to Survive a Zombie Attack

[Randomizer]

From the University of Florida's website How to Survive a Zombie Attack.

 

At least some places are prepared for this problem. When planning your choices for college education it pays to go someplace that is prepared for emergencies.

 

I know this has been discussed here before, but for the newer members it helps to have a handy reference.

[Callie]

I think it's funny that it lists "Two good kitchen knives 6-8" long" as a weapon to have in stock. I'm not sure how a kitchen knife would be effective against a zombie.

[Enraged Slith]

Select Knife, Use Self

[Lord Safey]

My friends at school have organized a campus wide human vs zombies game. Seems zombies are getting more popular

[The Mystic]

Originally Posted By: Excalibur

I think it's funny that it lists "Two good kitchen knives 6-8" long" as a weapon to have in stock. I'm not sure how a kitchen knife would be effective against a zombie.

You'd be surprised how well an ordinary kitchen knife can cut it against zombies.

[Dantius]

Try this for further references.

[Swimmin' Salmon]

A series of barricades works best, imho.

 

The last time some zombies tried to get onto my property they got hung up on the barbed wire fence. That held them until I could use the shotgun, and then it was a quick trench with the backhoe and "all gone."

 

No muss, no fuss.

[RCCCL]

I personally prefer a system of motion activated guns around the perimeter.

 

Though the neighbors weren't to happy when their dog happened to trip my defenses. Nor when their son did either.....

 

But, in any case, I feel somewhat safer from zombies.

[Student of Trinity]

One of the basic rules of military defense is that obstacles (such as barbed wire fences or other barricades) must always be covered by fire (such as a shotgun, though tripod-mounted machine guns are the classic standard, sited in pairs so there's no lull if one gun jams or changes belts). Otherwise building the obstacles was a pure waste of time because the enemy will just slowly pick through them with impunity. This rule even applies to minefields.

[Alorael at Large]

Zombies are not a military foe, however, and cannot intelligently defeat obstacles. They can batter at them and they can overwhelm them by sheer numbers, but they can't slowly pick through.

 

—Alorael, whose zombie plan is very similar to his pedestrian plan. In a pinch he'll rely on the cold to freeze them and keep them from becoming a real problem.

[Sleeping Dragon]

Didn't the thread get locked the last time we tried to discuss zombie survival?

 

Edit: Ah, never mind, it was two zombie discussions ago that one got locked. It been a whole two months since the last one, though, so by all means continue.

[Student of Trinity]

Maybe zombies are too dumb to creep through barbed wire. But laying a minefield for them and having nobody there to watch the results would be pathetic.

 

I locked the previous zombie discussion, and was roundly criticized for doing so. So as far as I'm concerned, this board can now be all zombies, all the time.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Why not just make a huge glass dome around your property?

 

If I got attacked by zombies, I'd go with the barbed wire fence as well. The fence has to be plenty tall, though, because eventually all the corpses will pile up and they'll be able to crawl through. This is about when the flame thrower (or, if money allows, the napalm) comes into play.

[Student of Trinity]

If air can get in, zombies can get in. If air can't get in, you can't breathe. Better to put the glass dome around the zombies, since they don't need air. Then everyone's happy, more or less, and you can sell tickets to watch the zombies in their antics.

[Lord Safey]

typically running for the hills seems to be the best option. Head for low population areas and get a really angry and aggressive pack of dogs. According to lore zombies can't detect them or infect them and a hungry dog will eat anything. So you already have a way to depose of the rotting corpse for you. Have a nice fenced in area for them to stay.

[Student of Trinity]

Well, but the dogs can get rabies and go all Cujo on you. Better stick to goldfish, in my opinion. They are also immune to being zombified. Or maybe they're not immune; who cares? A zombie goldfish just isn't a threat to anything except fish food flakes.

[Velzan]

OMG Zombies is back up??? ... Must think of zombie facts... n stuf n stuf.

[Swimmin' Salmon]

The bottom line is that zombie defense is an incredibly personal choice.

 

Some folks are runners, some are flamers, and some prefer the tactile feedback from shotguns. As long as zombies don't get you, we've all won.

[Velzan]

Unless. We are wrong about killing zombies and they can put themselves back together.

[A less presumptuous name.]

With my glass dome, just make sure that you have plenty o' greenery. Make your own little world inside the dome. Bring in some mexicans laborers to work the fields, herd some animals, get some solar panels and an internet hookup, and your good!

[Sleeping Dragon]

Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity

Better to put the glass dome around the zombies, since they don't need air. Then everyone's happy, more or less, and you can sell tickets to watch the zombies in their antics.

Haha, can't believe no one has made that movie yet! Which reminds me, that new zombie movie just happened to come out yesterday (in America) with Woody Harrelson and it looks really good. Be sure to check that out if you like zombies. Or Woody Harrelson.

As for my survival strategy, I guess it's the same as it was last thread. I'm more of a lock up with friends and hope for the best kind of person. If it looks like they're going to get in, at least dress up in funny clothes so you can be a zombie with style.

[Callie]

Originally Posted By: Alorael

—Alorael, whose zombie plan is very similar to his pedestrian plan. In a pinch he'll rely on the cold to freeze them and keep them from becoming a real problem.

Aren't zombies immune to cold damage?

I guess you could flash freeze them in a block of ice so they couldn't move...

[Alorael at Large]

Clearly what the world needs is more have a heart brain traps for zombies.

 

—Alorael, who doesn't think zombies take cold damage. They do, however, freeze solid, as they are no longer endotherms. There's a downside to lacking metabolism.

[Ephesos]

Code:

begindefinecreature 43;	clear;	cr_name = "Zombie";	cr_level = 4;	cr_start_item 0 = 213;	cr_start_item_chance 0 = 2;	cr_default_attitude = 4;	cr_species = 8;	cr_natural_armor = 3;	cr_which_sheet = 1536;	cr_attack_1 = 6;	cr_attack_1_type = 1;	cr_immunities 1 = 100;	cr_immunities 4 = 100;	cr_summon_class = 1;

Yup, immune to cold.

[Neossokrass]

LOL@Ephesos

 

I would go for the shotgun over the rifle anyday.

[Callie]

Heh, I didn't realize the chance of a zombie dropping a torc was that low. I must have good luck or something.

 

I wonder how effective a rocket-propelled grenade would be against a bunch of zombies.

[Swimmin' Salmon]

In my experience, you need to have a hard target to make that grenade explode in the right location. So, if the zombies were congregated around a handy stump, rock, or other object it would work great. But, if you just aim at a zombie, odds are that it will just punch a hole through it and continue onward until the timed assplosion.

 

Now, if you have a surplus of dynamite, and 10 second fuses, they make great lobbing weapons. Just, wear hearing protection. They are loud when they go boom.

[A less presumptuous name.]

I'm thinking that, in front of my barbed wire fence, I put a covered trench. When I hit the button, the trench opens up, the zombies fall onto the spikes, and the flames start going. Afterwords, the sodium hydroxide destroys all the flesh, and they all get flushed into the sewers. Rinse and repeat.

[Student of Trinity]

An actual grenade would probably be great against zombies. What people usually call a rocket-propelled grenade is a Soviet RPG. The acronym is a transliteration from cyrillic, and the G does not stand for grenade. It's a light anti-armor rocket, which fires a shaped charge on impact with a hard target. It's not an antipersonnel weapon, and it wouldn't be good against ordinary zombies.

 

Great against robot zombies, though — the ones that clank around buzzing, "CPUUUUUUUUs! CPUUUUUUUs!"

[Dantius]

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

Code:

begindefinecreature 43;	clear;	cr_name = "Zombie";	cr_level = 4;	cr_start_item 0 = 213;	cr_start_item_chance 0 = 2;	cr_default_attitude = 4;	cr_species = 8;	cr_natural_armor = 3;	cr_which_sheet = 1536;	cr_attack_1 = 6;	cr_attack_1_type = 1;	cr_immunities 1 = 100;	cr_immunities 4 = 100;	cr_summon_class = 1;

Yup, immune to cold.

Just cast Repel Spirit. Aura of Flames or Searing Orbs should be quite effective, as well.

[Hypnotic]

I would just go down into to my secret lab and work out ways to control them. Evil Zombie army. Or mabey I would charge people to veiw their now rotting loved ones as they are now sane. Of course that is sick and inhumane but still Evil.

 

Plan B is have the biggest possibe gun, and someone to fire it while I run.

[Øther]

With my way... it depends on how you phrase 'surviving'.

 

I would inject myself with zombie blood so I would be on the winning side. Plus, I've always wondered what it would be like to be a zombie.

[Ephesos]

Only one way to deal with zombies.

 

RETRIBUTION!!!!!!!!!!

[Swimmin' Salmon]

NZ should be quite easy, as long as you are pro-active and a bit harsh.

 

Just shoot any approaching plane out of the sky (Use that RPG here) and sink any boat.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Why stop there? Fly to the moon and start a colony there. The zombies will hardly be able to follow you. Set of all the nukes, and wait a few hundred thousand million years.

[Dantius]

Try "million" if you're going to set off that many nukes.

[Sarachim]

You all have it wrong. What you need is a sailboat. They're mobile, they're designed to be lived in, and zombies can't swim.

[A less presumptuous name.]

Nah, but they can pile onto each other to make a corpse-bridge of sorts. It's best to hang out over that one trench off the coast of Japan.

[Hypnotic]

Hanging over that trench is a good idea. All the Zombies fall down it and bury themselves. The Zombies gone. It also means there would be no need to clean them all up.

 

Added bonus is that millions of years later the Zombies turn into petrol.

 

Failing that we could make a new perfume/Deoderant "Rotting Flesh" so the zombies thing we are zombies so they don't attack us.

[keira]

get a coupla six-packs, raid a sporting good store, and you're set.

 

Once you run out of ammo/beer, stick a plow on the front of your truck and drive to the nearest non-raided sporting goods store/microbrewery.

 

Or, you know, reloading/homebrewing.

[Callie]

The Mariana Trench has volcanic activity at the bottom of it, which would effectively incinerate zombies (Not really, since they're vents, but anyways...), in addition to the immense water pressure. Considering zombies aren't all too structurally sound, they could probably be crushed by pressure in lesser depths as well.

 

Originally Posted By: Ephesos

Only one way to deal with zombies.

 

RETRIBUTION!!!!!!!!!!

But divine retribution only works against living foes...

 

 

[Dantius]

That's why I said repel spirit...

[Ephesos]

Originally Posted By: Excalibur

But divine retribution only works against living foes...

Not in Avernum 4 & 5. In those games, Divine Retribution has been turned into the best spell ever.

[Callie]

Touché, I had totally forgot about its effect in A5. I was thinking of A1-A3.

 

Yeah, fire spells are awesome.

 

 

[Lazarus.]

Funny that a joke like this got national media coverage, I'd seen it in the campus newspaper but didn't realize it made it all over. I guess the desire to discuss zombie preparation isn't just restricted to internet forums; writers just needed an excuse to bring up zombies in serious publications.

[The Ratt]

Going on a boat is all fine and dandy and one of the better strategies, but one must be wary that decomposition produces gases, which can cause some to float to the surface.

[Sleeping Dragon]

I just thought of something that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse. Writing. Zombies can't read, so we could totally use this against them in ways we couldn't use it against human opponents. Simple things like writing your name, date, and activities on the wall in big letters wherever you camp. How safe a place is, which direction your headed, helpful tips, anything really that would be useful to fellow survivors. It's something simple and productive that won't attract the attention of the undead. Never used in a zombie movie, to my knowledge.

 

Oh, and I just saw Zombieland minutes ago. It was pretty funny, I guess. One of the more uplifting zombie movies out there. Shawn of the Dead was still funnier, though. It's tough to beat the British at comedy.

[Acky]

Naw, Zombieland's a cult classic.

 

While that may be a good practice in theory, hows it actually gonna be implemented? The zombies are hardly going to stand by a group of people with cans of paint start labeling everything.

[Sleeping Dragon]

I would imagine you'd only paint once you were camped and relatively safe. You wouldn't write in an unsafe area, if not for your own safety, at least for the people who might end up reading it.

 

Now, as for safe places to go: I would imagine public places would be the safest. Really. Preferable a historical monument or something like that. The first thing people are going to do when a zombie plague breaks out is raid stores and flee home. Residential and commercial areas (as well as *shiver* churches) are going to be the least safe because they will be where every rushed to in their panic. Walmarts, while the cliche safe place to fortify, are probably a bad idea. But take somewhere like a museum or a national park, why would anyone go there at the outbreak of a zombie apocalypse? Though normally crowded, these places are generally well fortified, like the museum, or at least fairly isolated, like the park.

 

The best place ever would probably be the Forbidden City in China. You've basically got an unpopulated walled fortress city, which aside from being really, really safe would be a completely badass base of operations. Too bad I don't live in China. Maybe I could flee to DC and fortify the Lincoln Memorial?

[Dantius]

Incorrect. The badass-est base of operations is the Washington Monument. Shut down the elevators, barricade the doors, and seal off the stairway, and you have a shining white spire 555 feet tall that's completely impregnable. The Pyramids would be pretty cool, too, if it weren't for the whole "oxygen" thing.