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How to Survive a Zombie Attack


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From the University of Florida's website How to Survive a Zombie Attack.

 

At least some places are prepared for this problem. When planning your choices for college education it pays to go someplace that is prepared for emergencies. smile

 

I know this has been discussed here before, but for the newer members it helps to have a handy reference.

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One of the basic rules of military defense is that obstacles (such as barbed wire fences or other barricades) must always be covered by fire (such as a shotgun, though tripod-mounted machine guns are the classic standard, sited in pairs so there's no lull if one gun jams or changes belts). Otherwise building the obstacles was a pure waste of time because the enemy will just slowly pick through them with impunity. This rule even applies to minefields.

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Zombies are not a military foe, however, and cannot intelligently defeat obstacles. They can batter at them and they can overwhelm them by sheer numbers, but they can't slowly pick through.

 

—Alorael, whose zombie plan is very similar to his pedestrian plan. In a pinch he'll rely on the cold to freeze them and keep them from becoming a real problem.

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Maybe zombies are too dumb to creep through barbed wire. But laying a minefield for them and having nobody there to watch the results would be pathetic.

 

I locked the previous zombie discussion, and was roundly criticized for doing so. So as far as I'm concerned, this board can now be all zombies, all the time.

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Why not just make a huge glass dome around your property?

 

If I got attacked by zombies, I'd go with the barbed wire fence as well. The fence has to be plenty tall, though, because eventually all the corpses will pile up and they'll be able to crawl through. This is about when the flame thrower (or, if money allows, the napalm) comes into play.

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typically running for the hills seems to be the best option. Head for low population areas and get a really angry and aggressive pack of dogs. According to lore zombies can't detect them or infect them and a hungry dog will eat anything. So you already have a way to depose of the rotting corpse for you. Have a nice fenced in area for them to stay.

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Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity
Better to put the glass dome around the zombies, since they don't need air. Then everyone's happy, more or less, and you can sell tickets to watch the zombies in their antics.
Haha, can't believe no one has made that movie yet! Which reminds me, that new zombie movie just happened to come out yesterday (in America) with Woody Harrelson and it looks really good. Be sure to check that out if you like zombies. Or Woody Harrelson.

As for my survival strategy, I guess it's the same as it was last thread. I'm more of a lock up with friends and hope for the best kind of person. If it looks like they're going to get in, at least dress up in funny clothes so you can be a zombie with style. smile
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Originally Posted By: Alorael

—Alorael, whose zombie plan is very similar to his pedestrian plan. In a pinch he'll rely on the cold to freeze them and keep them from becoming a real problem.

Aren't zombies immune to cold damage?

I guess you could flash freeze them in a block of ice so they couldn't move...
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Code:
begindefinecreature 43;	clear;	cr_name = "Zombie";	cr_level = 4;	cr_start_item 0 = 213;	cr_start_item_chance 0 = 2;	cr_default_attitude = 4;	cr_species = 8;	cr_natural_armor = 3;	cr_which_sheet = 1536;	cr_attack_1 = 6;	cr_attack_1_type = 1;	cr_immunities 1 = 100;	cr_immunities 4 = 100;	cr_summon_class = 1;


Yup, immune to cold.
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In my experience, you need to have a hard target to make that grenade explode in the right location. So, if the zombies were congregated around a handy stump, rock, or other object it would work great. But, if you just aim at a zombie, odds are that it will just punch a hole through it and continue onward until the timed assplosion.

 

Now, if you have a surplus of dynamite, and 10 second fuses, they make great lobbing weapons. Just, wear hearing protection. They are loud when they go boom.

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I'm thinking that, in front of my barbed wire fence, I put a covered trench. When I hit the button, the trench opens up, the zombies fall onto the spikes, and the flames start going. Afterwords, the sodium hydroxide destroys all the flesh, and they all get flushed into the sewers. Rinse and repeat.

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An actual grenade would probably be great against zombies. What people usually call a rocket-propelled grenade is a Soviet RPG. The acronym is a transliteration from cyrillic, and the G does not stand for grenade. It's a light anti-armor rocket, which fires a shaped charge on impact with a hard target. It's not an antipersonnel weapon, and it wouldn't be good against ordinary zombies.

 

Great against robot zombies, though — the ones that clank around buzzing, "CPUUUUUUUUs! CPUUUUUUUs!"

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Originally Posted By: Ephesos
Code:
begindefinecreature 43;	clear;	cr_name = "Zombie";	cr_level = 4;	cr_start_item 0 = 213;	cr_start_item_chance 0 = 2;	cr_default_attitude = 4;	cr_species = 8;	cr_natural_armor = 3;	cr_which_sheet = 1536;	cr_attack_1 = 6;	cr_attack_1_type = 1;	cr_immunities 1 = 100;	cr_immunities 4 = 100;	cr_summon_class = 1;

Yup, immune to cold.




Just cast Repel Spirit. Aura of Flames or Searing Orbs should be quite effective, as well.
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I would just go down into to my secret lab and work out ways to control them. Evil Zombie army. Or mabey I would charge people to veiw their now rotting loved ones as they are now sane. Of course that is sick and inhumane but still Evil.

 

Plan B is have the biggest possibe gun, and someone to fire it while I run.

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Hanging over that trench is a good idea. All the Zombies fall down it and bury themselves. The Zombies gone. It also means there would be no need to clean them all up.

 

Added bonus is that millions of years later the Zombies turn into petrol.

 

Failing that we could make a new perfume/Deoderant "Rotting Flesh" so the zombies thing we are zombies so they don't attack us.

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The Mariana Trench has volcanic activity at the bottom of it, which would effectively incinerate zombies (Not really, since they're vents, but anyways...), in addition to the immense water pressure. Considering zombies aren't all too structurally sound, they could probably be crushed by pressure in lesser depths as well.

 

Originally Posted By: Ephesos
Only one way to deal with zombies.

 

RETRIBUTION!!!!!!!!!!

But divine retribution only works against living foes... tongue

 

 

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I just thought of something that would be useful in a zombie apocalypse. Writing. Zombies can't read, so we could totally use this against them in ways we couldn't use it against human opponents. Simple things like writing your name, date, and activities on the wall in big letters wherever you camp. How safe a place is, which direction your headed, helpful tips, anything really that would be useful to fellow survivors. It's something simple and productive that won't attract the attention of the undead. Never used in a zombie movie, to my knowledge.

 

Oh, and I just saw Zombieland minutes ago. It was pretty funny, I guess. One of the more uplifting zombie movies out there. Shawn of the Dead was still funnier, though. It's tough to beat the British at comedy.

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I would imagine you'd only paint once you were camped and relatively safe. You wouldn't write in an unsafe area, if not for your own safety, at least for the people who might end up reading it.

 

Now, as for safe places to go: I would imagine public places would be the safest. Really. Preferable a historical monument or something like that. The first thing people are going to do when a zombie plague breaks out is raid stores and flee home. Residential and commercial areas (as well as *shiver* churches) are going to be the least safe because they will be where every rushed to in their panic. Walmarts, while the cliche safe place to fortify, are probably a bad idea. But take somewhere like a museum or a national park, why would anyone go there at the outbreak of a zombie apocalypse? Though normally crowded, these places are generally well fortified, like the museum, or at least fairly isolated, like the park.

 

The best place ever would probably be the Forbidden City in China. You've basically got an unpopulated walled fortress city, which aside from being really, really safe would be a completely badass base of operations. Too bad I don't live in China. Maybe I could flee to DC and fortify the Lincoln Memorial?

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Incorrect. The badass-est base of operations is the Washington Monument. Shut down the elevators, barricade the doors, and seal off the stairway, and you have a shining white spire 555 feet tall that's completely impregnable. The Pyramids would be pretty cool, too, if it weren't for the whole "oxygen" thing.

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