I mean, really, honestly - almost 90 hours of fun - you think that's worth the money? How dare you mess with my free time so much! To add insult to injury I got this time eater in a sale.
90 hours, NINETY HOURS - in a game who's disk footprint is smaller than a "proper" games into video. Just what did you think you were doing - eh?
And, on the subject of intros - where was it - don't you know that gamers expect - no, are entitled to - intro videos plus Intel/AMD logo's, ATI/NVidia logo's, Creative Labs logo's, PhysX logo's, ERBS warnings, epilepsi warnings, piracy warnings etc - to click through BEFORE you get to play the game. Get with the program here.
And where were all my cut scenes? Don't you know gamers today have no patience and need a rest every few minutes so need those cut scenes - ideally with voice acting by some famous people to justify the cost. Reading, you wanted me to read - an actual story? (Shakes head in bewilderment.)
And turn based combat, come on - so last century. We gamers just want to sit there mashing the fire key randomly until big bad guy dies in a blaze of eye watering pyrotechnics designed to show off our "rig's" graphics card. For goodness sake - I played this on my netbook. How can I face other gamers after spending 90 hours (did I mention the 90 hours before) on a game who system requirements are so embarrassingly meagre.
I have a good mind to buy every other game you've made - that would show you - don't mess with my free time matey! Hmm, Geneforge 1-5 on GOG, hmm - that'll do for a start.
(Removes tongue from cheek and stomps off to re-establish communication with his wife.)