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Nephil Thief

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Everything posted by Nephil Thief

  1. (Because I've got to post about something other than my messed up family life...) ... Okay, I sometimes wear colored nail polish. But I have no idea how to actually get the stuff on properly. Just apply it with the brush it comes with -> results in a hideously thick layer that never dries completely, and comes right off the next time I scrub my hands. Also gets all over my fingers, irritating my skin. (It doesn't help that my hands have a slight tremor, due to medical stuff outside my control.) Apply it on top of clear nail polish -> looks better, but comes right off *after* it's dried. Apply it on top of clear polish, then apply more clear stuff on top -> still comes right off. The only halfway sensible approach I've found is to dip a Q-tip in the colored polish and dab it onto my nails very lightly. This results in a... rather interesting mottled look. But I'd prefer smooth and shiny. Is there, like, any way whatsoever to do this one's self? (No, search engines haven't turned up much. And I don't think I'll ask on Stack Overflow, thanks.)
  2. Take two, I guess... This morning my mom wanted to make a small donation to a certain organization - a writer's group, that rents a space in the city where people can write without interruption. One of her friends is a member of said group. To do this she needed a Paypal account. She doesn't have one, because she doesn't manage finance stuff. She doesn't know how to set one up, because she doesn't understand computers and lacks the self-confidence to figure them out. She doesn't do online banking etc. at all; partly because she doesn't think she can grok it, partly because (let's be frank) my dad thinks she'd make a hash of it. Anyway, she asked my dad if he could make the donation for her. He immediately started berating her about it, in an extremely critical and aggressive tone of voice. The scary thing is, I thought he had a point.... and said so. Because my mom has been very nearly scammed, at times, and has trouble learning stuff - e.g. I teach her something about how to use a computer, and next week she asks me the same thing again, because she's so uncertain about it. But I really shouldn't have done that. And I kind of realized that, as my dad continued lambasting her. I mean... there's being protective, and then there's gatekeeping, and this is the latter. I apologized to my mom later. I'm still feeling conflicted. I want her to be more independent, but I don't want her to be conned. And, after years of antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and emotional abuse eroding her personality, I worry that's what would happen. I could try to educate her about online safety, but she always comes back to me a week later to ask the same questions. It's like she never has any certainty. ... Later - just ~30 minutes ago - my dad started berating her again, over not cleaning a frying pan sufficiently. Get this: He had cleaned the pan, found it difficult to get clean, and left it in the sink to soak. She had cleaned it, used it again; cleaned it, found it hard to clean, and left it to soak. She had done exactly the same thing as him. And he berated her nonetheless, for not doing a sufficient job on the pan. Which was in the sink. Soaking. So that it could be cleaned completely later. As he had been doing. When I pointed this out to him, he accused me of "fabricating things." My mom and I both told him he had raised his voice at her unnecessarily. He insisted that he had not raised his voice. Cue much arguing, and him stomping around aggressively and glaring a lot, and insisting that he "just likes things to be kept clean." ... Afterwards, I told him: "You know, I leave stuff lying around as much as Mom does, and you get on my case a lot less than on hers." He just grunted. It didn't even seem to register with him. He said something like, "My and your mother's differences about how much dirt we tolerate date back to before you were born." Me: "You know, I'm also capable of cleaning stuff up. I'm the youngest here and all. You think something needs cleaning, you can always point it out to me." Him: "Yeah, yeah." In one ear, and out the other. ... Not sure how I should proceed from here. I'm thinking of showing my mom how to set up Paypal and online banking, so she can actually manage her finances. But her grasp of how to do this stuff safely just seems... incredibly tenuous. And that worries me a lot. I don't know how much is my own observation, and how much is my dad's bias. ... I should probably call up the aforementioned hotline again, too. Thing is, I'm now a bit worried about that too. See, the person I got on the phone, when I called, was a woman and clearly an expert on this stuff. The person my mom got, when she called, two months ago? Was a dude. And, from what she told me later, a glaringly obvious newbie, and not very sympathetic. And that seemed to further erode her confidence. *sigh* Why do things have to be this way. Why.
  3. So I should probably should post an update on The Bees... It got awful. Really awful, really fast. So awful I had to give up on it. The protagonist - yes, a worker bee - quickly becomes an enormous Mary Sue, reaching Kvothe-like levels of exceptionalism. Hurray. I wanted this to be a good novel. I really did. But I can't recommend it at all.
  4. @ADoS My sympathies re the mental health stuff. What you're going through sounds horrendous. *hugs* Wish I had advice on the living situation. My main thought is, try not to make major life decisions while you're on the emotional roller coaster. Not sure to what extent that's possible, but... yeah. Personally, decisions I made during times of anxiety, depression, or emotional desperation have not held me in good stead. As far as nationalism allergies, you have my sympathies on that too. American nationalism these days terrifies me. P.S. Oh hey, I'm also in Massachusetts. P.P.S. Not sure if I should say this, but I feel like I kind of owe you one, for your advice in the thread re: my dad. You're an awesome person.
  5. Update - Item Lore now also goes to 255. Updated checksum and link. As for the scenario editor, well, we'll see...
  6. Old Win32 code. SFML codebase is still really iffy on Wine. (Nothing personal, I just can't be bothered to set up a Windows environment.)
  7. aka CBoE Character Editor with the stat limits removed. https://drive.google...iew?usp=sharing The dials go up to 255, instead of 20. This is easy to do in a hex editor (the stat constants are stored in one array towards the end of the executable), but I figured I'd put it up for everyone. MD5 checksum is b73e636c8aff2edcf48f5930d8481c12 SuperVillainEditor.exe Watch this space - I'll be taking a whack at the Scenario Editor later, re NPC stats. Edit: note, this is based on the open source CBoE char editor, so licensing is not exactly an issue. AFAIK anyway. Edit 2: yeah, let's fix those code tags. Edit 3: Minor update, Item Lore skill now also goes to 255. Updated checksum and link above.
  8. Finally found a novel I can get into! It's called The Bees, it's written by one Laline Paul (whom I've never heard of), and it's basically Redwall meets 1984 by way of Dune. (And yes, the characters are in fact bees.) I'm not very far into it yet, but so far I love it.
  9. @Randomizer: oh, don't worry, I get that things are complicated and imperfect. That's why I did say I'm opposed to censorship within certain limits. (What I'm very much opposed to is allowing a bunch of angry trolls to harass critics into shutting up.)
  10. I really don't think that's true. Historically those who have been harassed have often been those with opinions ahead of their time. As far as criminal punishments, if you're thinking that means "throw them in prison" then I agree - the punishment should fit the crime, and incarceration is currently broken in a lot of ways. (Mind I'm also iffy on fines, which I consider not so viable in a society where money equates with personal survival. Not sure what other options that leaves... Point is though, holding people accountable for nastiness doesn't necessarily mean throwing the book at them.) Ah sorry, I got that completely wrong. In that case, well... yeah, "hardly in a comparable position" definitely applies.
  11. @nalyd Lilith already covered "collateral damage", you get that both ways. Trolling and harassment also produce chilling effect. (Which you BTW indirectly acknowledge, when you say that you wouldn't take the risks that Sarkeesian has. Those risks in speaking out, that you wouldn't take, constitute a chilling effect.) IMO this could be viewed as related to the idea of a social contract. Way too much freedom of speech allows a tyranny of the majority - the public discourse version of Locke's "war of all against all," I guess*, where unpopular opinions are just shouted down. And that is a real problem from a social progress standpoint, because a lot of the things we've come to take for granted now were really unpopular way back when. See for instance Abolitionism in the 19th century US. * Honestly I know barely anything about Locke, and I'm probably taking him way out of context. Whatever. Edit: anyway, I can't make you think about things you don't want to think about. But I feel it's definitely worth doing from time to time.
  12. Wow. Things kind of exploded while I was asleep. @A River of Stones I'm not really sure what to say. I'll post more this evening (read: after work). Need time to come up with something coherent. For now, I'd ask you to please think about relative degrees of harm. I think we can agree that "not being able to troll people on the internet" doesn't really compare with "being the target of a massive smear campaign", right?
  13. I... uh... I think you misunderstood somebody somewhere. As for not drawing a line ever: I really have to disagree. Some art can be propaganda. It's hard to know where to draw the line - I have some pretty conflicting ideas on that myself - but I think we can agree that, for instance, a game created by a neo-Nazi skinhead gang to actively promote racist violence is not really fit for the open market. And when you then consider that a lot of racist violence is institutional, and originated by "ordinary people" as opposed to extremists, you kind of have to wonder what else might not be fit for the open market. BTW: while I'm opposed to censorship within certain limits, I'm kind of a fan of self-restraint. Artists edit their work, they have to be critics of themselves. During that stage, there's plenty of room to stand back and say: "You know, maybe this really clever gimmick I'm about to do here is actually kind of awful." This has crossed my mind a lot lately. Yesterday I walked into the town library, and it hit me that about half the books were in some way related to murder. IIRC there was a quote from Zizek, about how we give ourselves moral license to be thrilled by crimes, because they're committed in the context of a villain's deeds. From the opposing end, fantasy in general seems to suffer badly from "killing is okay when the hero does it." (Which the Exile games IIRC made fun of on several occasions.) In any case, I'm not sure the impact is overwhelmingly negative, but I can't help but wonder if us as a society finding evil so darned thrilling is symptomatic of some deep pathology. (OTOH: take a look at the types of fans that G_m_rG_t_ brought out of the woodwork. And IIRC there have been some findings to the effect that violent video games desensitize people to violence in their own lives. Don't quote me on that latter, though.) ... Finally: I have to note that, one of the things I've repeatedly observed is that human society seems to revolve around Who Can Kick Whose A**. I could probably write a couple essays about this, how I've completely failed to extricate myself from it, why I think there's too much of it, and why maybe we should look for better concepts of superiority. Anyway, I will posit that the overuse of violent notions of superiority is a social problem; and that a lot of video games fit into it, with winning conditions achieved by use of force, etc. 'course I might just be talking rubbish. Whatever.
  14. Discuss? Okay, sure. Though I'm admittedly somewhat saddened to see this discussion arrive on Spiderweb, especially given the viewpoint that Mr. Vogel presents. And the Communist Manifesto was just glyphs on paper. Words, images, videos, sound clips, 3D virtual worlds - whatever - these things have power. We assign meaning to them in our heads, so they affect how we think. I mean, you read this, and the words go through your head, right? You think responses to it, and those are in words. Most of our thinking is linguistic. Video games are mostly considered "low art", as opposed to high-impact stuff like Shakespeare and Chaucer, but they are also common parlance. And IMO that makes them just as important as the snobby stuff. Don't tell me that The Matrix didn't influence Western (and global) culture, for instance. I would therefore submit that popular artists - including video game artists - should at least a little responsibility for their art. Not that they should always agree with so-and-so leftie perspective, but that they should try to be aware of what they're putting out into the public memesphere, and whether it is actually sensible stuff by the standards of their worldview. You don't have to agree with the Anita Sarkeesians of the world (though, honestly, what I've seen from her makes a lot of sense). But I don't think it's correct to say that video games are just glyphs on a screen, as if that absolves them of any significance deeper than their entertainment value. Not wrong, not amoral, not irresponsible, but incorrect - from what I know, humans don't work that way. Of course that is ultimately my opinion, and I'm a firm believer in that famous old X-files quote (speaking of media influence): "The truth is out there." (And may be utterly different from what I believe right now.) I'm pretty sure I'm mostly right about this, though. [Note: "you" in the above doesn't necessarily refer to any of the posters.] ... Edit: I should note that I've played rather few video games in my life. Spiderweb stuff, a bit of Wing Commander/Privateer/Vega Strike/etc., and quite a lot of various Angband variants. I tend to stick with what I know, and mostly lean towards books for novel fiction experiences. As such I'm probably not qualified to comment re indie games. Also, it's funny to note that of the above, Spidweb games are probably the least ridden with racist baggage. (IMO anyway.)
  15. @Fireball Fodder You know, I don't have a working copy of E2 on hand, but I think that might be a deliberate touch. The kind of "crimes" that get people Exiled are crimes against the Empire's silly social standards. Falling outside the Empire's gender norms would probably qualify, and then some. (Welcome to the Spiderweb forums. Please leave your normative social standards at the door.)
  16. I figured Feoderic was male but androgynous looking. Might be bias, dunno. (Actually, I always thought his graphic looked like Michael Jackson...)
  17. ADoS, I'm curious, how did you vanquish the numbers?
  18. Updates, yay... Edit: yeah, let's actually embed this.
  19. Again - thank you so much everyone for the advice and support. Things are pretty quiet right now, Dad's basically on best behavior. I hope things stay this way, but I suspect he'll lapse back in another few months. Mom said she'd talk to him in a week or two, re that he could use some counseling; and that I should keep quiet myself. It's now a week or two, and she doesn't seem to want to tell him that. Can't blame her. I think maybe I should float it, but I don't want to trigger another episode of nastiness. It's like, he acts up, and then he just stops for a long while. And during that time, everyone forgets that the acting up ever happened. And meanwhile, Mom (and to a lesser extent myself) continue to be dependent on him. e.g. I need him for transportation at times, because while I have a license, I don't have a car, and I never really developed the confidence to drive. (My road test was a white-knuckle nightmare.) I'm at least financially independent, since my job is reachable by public transit, and pays better than Dad's. But Mom, being effectively retired, depends on him heavily. I feel like this is a vicious cycle. I wish I could figure out how to break it. And yet, at times like right now, it somehow doesn't seem bad enough to warrant action. *sigh*
  20. For singletons, probably Protection, followed by Antimagic Cloud. Avatar looks nice on paper, but the invuln doesn't last very long, and it is quite expensive. The problem with singletons, though, is that they can only do one thing at a time. Even Minor Bless is astonishingly powerful, when you have all six PCs casting it on only one of their number. Edit: I happen to like small parties though, due to logistics (and characterization!) being easier.
  21. Called the hotline. ADoS and Triumph, and everyone else here - thank you. You've done me a serious mitzvoh. *hugs* all around
  22. Gave the number to my mom, too - she needs to talk to someone expert on this stuff, much more than I do. I shouldn't act as a relay... or, for that matter, a gatekeeper. (Just FYI.) Again, thank you all.
  23. Thank you very much also, Triumph. I'll give the hotline a call tomorrow. Right now it's getting late. Again - thank both of you so much for giving me solid feedback on this.
  24. Thanks very much, ADoS. *hugs* The thing is, though, it never reaches "crisis." It's just a slow, on-and-off simmer. And I'm afraid of, well, crocking up a situation where there isn't any. Or making things worse. Or that my thoughts on this are completely out of line with reality. I don't know. I don't want to cause trouble and waste people's time. But thank you for that, anyway.
  25. So, today my parents went for a swim at a nearby beach. As my mom was putting some stuff in the trunk - leaning over it in the process - my dad closed it. It hit her in the head, luckily giving her nothing worse than a bruise. He was completely unapologetic, and told her she just shouldn't lean over the trunk like that. My mom told me about this... And I wouldn't think much, except stuff like this happens every few months. A few months back, my dad yanked open the freezer door as my mom putting stuff in the fridge, hitting her in the head. When she complained, he told her she ought to watch out. Going further back, this stuff has been repeated with cabinet doors, elbows, shoulders, and - on one occasion - a slipper. The slipper was a particularly heavy type with a rubber sole, and actually broke my mom's nose. That was back when I was in college. Sure, accidental. I could believe that, I've been clumsy too. But it never happens to me, and she never does it to him, and I never do it to either of them... It's only him accidentally whacking her. And even assuming it's pure accident, it's hurting her physically, which is not cool and has to stop. ... After my mom told me about this, we agreed that in view of past incidents, this seemed like a problem, and we both confronted my dad. He got annoyed with Mom immediately. When I told him I thought she had a point, though, he absolutely blew a fuse; screaming at me to "butt out" at the top of his lungs, and accusing me of "crocking s**t up." He was extremely insistent that it was all Mom's fault for leaning over the trunk, or generally getting in the way, and went on to say that he also banged his own head routinely just by way of being clumsy. (Which is true.) When the argument ended, he still hadn't apologized. Is that all? No, of course not. ... See, Dad has frankly been verbally abusive to Mom, on and off, for a long time. Not so much insulting her, as belittling her and making her feel stupid. e.g. Recently she was vacuuming the carpet, and didn't notice that the vacuum's hose had gotten disconnected. Simple, right? Any normal person would say, "Hey, just FYI, that vacuum's hose isn't attached." But him, nope. He's all like, "Oh for God's sake, what are you doing, you're just pushing the dust around, what the hell are you thinking" etc. etc. etc. He talks to her like she's a child at times like that. And, at this point, she frankly has the self-confidence of a child. Any time she messes something up, he's on her about it like a ton of bricks, the anxiety from which causes her to mess stuff up, etc. etc. For instance, she has no confidence in how to use a computer. I'll show her how to do some stuff with it, and she'll do it, and then a week later she'll ask for my help again on the same thing - not because she forgets how, but because she's afraid she'll mess it up. Likewise, she has zero confidence in her ability to handle financial stuff... Even though she's been dealing with various bank accounts for a while. Dad has told her, on several occasions, such things as: "Clearly I'll have to outlive you, because you're just not able to handle financial stuff." There have been, literally, occasions when Mom has felt the need to ask Dad what she should think of some opinion - political, financial, whatever. Just think about that. ... And I'm getting increasingly bothered by this. And I just don't know what to do. I'm especially disturbed by my dad's accusation now that I'm "crocking s**t up," because a) I'm not altogether certain I'm not, and I'm bothered by the lack of trust in my motivations that this indicates. But I have absolutely no idea what to do. Help?
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