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True Magic: 1


Student of Trinity

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No-one in the inn even saw the old man before he appeared in the doorway, but the eyes that flicked to him there are staying to stare. He is so far beyond old, it takes very good clothes just to keep him from falling apart. His small grey coat is fine and new. His shirt is clean, his trousers are white, his shoes are black. His shriveled head sits in his stiff collar like the head of a doll. An ivory cane hangs down from within each sleeve, as if his arms are just long white sticks; but inside his cuffs he has hands that grip the canes.

 

He moves to the bar very slowly, swinging on his canes in such small steps that he seems to be gliding upright. He looks straight ahead but he knows they are staring at him. In a few moments they will look away and be ashamed, but he does not resent their attention because he knows what they see. If he were borne on a litter or propped on a throne he might almost pass for a normal kind of ancient, but his softly creaking unassisted glide is an outrage. Anything as old as that should be under glass.

 

He is only half way to the bar when the last gaze drops away, but by the time the first glances return he has somehow achieved a perch on the near corner stool. Pretty Greta, a being of a different species, has placed a tiny cut crystal glass in front of him. He looks at his thimbleful of pale blue liquor. The faint scent from its pouring has made everyone in the room think of sailing, without knowing why. He makes no move to drink. It is not clear that he can.

 

The most ashamed eyes in the room are those of the starving young author. Young he certainly is, from my point of view, but he has just perceived how it comforts him to be so clearly upon Greta’s side of an age divide, and he cannot help blinking. His last ten years have been slower than they were supposed to be. His life has faltered like the plots of his half-finished tales.

 

I am slow but I do not falter. I am the very old man. Once I was young. I was born just as everyone is, but it is hardly important. As far as the present is concerned, I have always been old. There are scarcely six persons in the world who understand my concerns, and these will not advise me. So I choose my own tasks. Some think I am wicked because my work gives nothing to anyone, but I act for the best as I see it.

 

I must wait for one week. I can neither afford nor achieve any signs of impatience, but I hate to be bored. I will fill this week by reciting. The young author will have an inspiration, and tell one of my stories. The current one, of course, even though its ending is not yet certain. I have no interest in the past.

 

I watch in the cloudy mirror behind Greta as his head jerks up and his eyes go wide. The two of us together, our contrast, have spoken to him. He has kept paper and pen on his table every day for ten years, but he seizes them as if it were luck to find them at hand. He has something to write.

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My Morandau story is the only writing project I have time to work on now. It's in its second draft, and precisely because it has really grown into a full-length novel, I've stopped posting it here. But it's the seventh story I've started over the years, and I can maybe post some of my earlier stalled-out starts.

 

It's clear now why A Lady of Morandau took off when the others didn't. It's the only project of mine that has had action right from the start. The others weren't really stories, I realize now, but only premises or pitches for stories. I had scenes and characters, and narrative voices, and notions of what kind of world the story would happen in, what would be possible and what would not. I never had a plot. Maybe I was unconsciously writing as a Dungeon Master, laying out the setting and the NPCs, but leaving the events of the story to work out during play. Now that the clever trick of action has finally occurred to me, I may someday come back to these old ideas, and make something of them.

 

Most of my stories have had first-person narration. I'm not sure now that this is such a good idea. It's quite a limitation in perspective. You can only show your villains cunningly planning, for instance, if your protagonist can eavesdrop on them. And it can feel as though you're writing dialog, because you're writing in the voice of your narrator-character, when in fact you're rambling on with too much exposition. It works very well in some of my favorite stories, though. I'm not sure why I'm so drawn to it.

 

This story started with the whimsy to try a really passive narrator, who was virtually incapacitated with extreme old age. But a totally helpless narrator was such a crushing limitation that I found I couldn't go three paragraphs without slipping in some hint that this narrator was somehow not so completely passive or incapacitated. It couldn't just be that he was faking his age and frailty, though; those were more interesting than any mere disguise.

 

So this led to the idea of a kind of story, about a kind of magic.

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