An ACTUAL G3 Related Question

[Toenail Returns]

Once Jeff finishes G3 on Mac, does he have to completely re-write the program for it to work on Windows?

[*i]

No, but he does have to port it. This involves changing the graphics formats, editing the pathing, and all sorts of other painful stuff.

 

Now what you are asking: The process usually takes 2-3 months.

[Toenail Returns]

Ohhhhhhhh...

[Icshi]

I gather from your deeply seated lament that you're a Windows user? You have my deepest sympathy, sir — I'm barely hanging on at the moment as it is, even with the knowledge that it'll be out for Mac in just a few days...

[Oni of Chaos]

I am glad I am not alone in my pain.

[Igor]

It has to be coming out soon, right? Right?

 

*grabs Icshi*

 

TELL ME IT'S COMING OUT SOON!

 

*sobs in corner*

 

It's not coming

[Toenail Returns]

*slaps Ornk of Death*

 

Don't lose it man. We've waited too long to lose it like that. C'mon man. Don't do this..

[Icshi]

To quote the insightful Derek Zoolander "If we loose our cool, then we're no better than the machine!" Wise words.

[Toenail Returns]

Oh Lord that was a funny movie...

[Flake]

Re: i's comment. I'm assuming you include the period of betatesting within the period of 2-3months for porting from Mac to Windows. I'd say it takes Jeff 1-2 months to do the actually programming and editing, then around a months worth of heavy betatesting to get it in shape for release...

[Dolphin]

Hmm, having withdrawal from something that dose not yet exist.

 

When it finally dose come out every one will download it simultaneously

[Icshi]

What can I say? We're so far ahead of our time that it staggers the imagination!

 

Yes, I hope we don't crash the server. That would be just awful. After all this waiting, and then just as it's downloading FOOM! The server is destroyed, along with Jeff's computer, and GF3 is lost forever.

 

To quote Burt Gummer "What kind of Supreme Being would condone such irony?"

[Igor]

damn Jeff. He posts the first news item in over a month, and it's about his book.

 

*goes back to crying in the corner*

[Hawk King]

Quote:

Originally written by Ornk of Death:
damn Jeff. He posts the first news item in over a month, and it's about his book.

*goes back to crying in the corner*

sorry for sounding ignorant but jeff has a book

[Icshi]

I just have to sit back a moment and say that the postings in this forum are absolutely hilarious and a joy to read and participate in.

 

Student of Trinity, Mr. Knowitall, Hawk King, and Ornk of Death are real stars in this regard. Waiting has never been this much fun! I almost hope GF3 won't be out until early next week so we can enjoy a little more of all this zanny, hysterically desperate banter.

 

< ...stunned silence... >

 

"What?! You don't want GF3 to come out until next week? Have you lost your mind, Icshi? Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!"

 

Ouch! Watch where you point that thing! You could have someone's eye out with that.

 

Hey, hey! Cool it, folks! I said "almost," didn't I?

 

In point of fact if GF3 doesn't come out soon, at the current rate of increase within a few days my new posts will become nothing but graemlin faces... So the maintaince of my mental health is a large factor in all this. So I do want it to come out tomorrow. Really I do!

[Flake]

Yes, Hawk King, Jeff's been spending the time he should be on G3 on a book...Nah, just joking. If you ever check the frontpage of spiderweb instead of shortcutting it to the forum then you might have noticed the last day or so a plug for his book has been on the frontpage. It's about the first year of his daughter's life (lots of which he has already voyeuristically posted about on ironycentral).

 

But yeah! Can't wait for G3...its about these times that I consider switching to Macs

[bogus standard candidate]

Some things you can do while waiting for GF3 to come out (this may apply to Windows users as well):

 

(in no order, letters used for convenience)

 

a) Read a book series. You may read Neal Stephenson's rather elegant alternate story series Cryptonomicon/The Baroque Cycle. Or Gibbon's The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Or maybe all the volume of the Encyclopedia you have in your home. If you have none, you may visit you local library for one.

 

Become a member of the Audobon society, if you're not one already, and dedicate the time to bird watching. It soothes the senses.

 

c) Purposely eat garbage food (or literal garbage) so you become exceedingly sick and are taken to a hospital. Alternatively, you may inflict enough physical pain upon yourself so that you end up in a coma for a short while. Just make sure before you do so that you plan it accordingly to spend just a few months and ensure that the Supreme Court and the President of your country will use your state as an excuse for political schemings.

 

d) Practice quilting. Quilting is an often misundertstood and unappreciate art form which many cultures relegate to women. Sillyness! It's fun and you can quilt a GF world if you will, or one/more of the zones from your favorite GF game.

 

e) Take a road trip to Seattle to visit the headquarters of Spidweb, inc. Once there you can give Jeff and his family a nicely baked apple pie and ask him to invite you to his basement for an exclusive tour of GF and the upcoming A4. If you live near Seattle, you should take a road trip to Portland, Maine where you will pay a visit to Stephen King, give him a nicely baked apple pie and ask him to take him to his basement for an exclusive trip of his serialization of the GF games, King style.

 

f) Pretend you are a lamp post. Disguise yourself as a lamp post, place yourself in a busy corner and take caustic notes about the nature of humanity. These you will later publish in a small book of no less than 200 pages, half of which must be non-sequitur photos, and rightly expect it to be a bestseller. You will have to do book tours through places without internet connection. This should keep you busy for a while.

 

g) Adopt a young child. Adopt him/her and raise her/him. If possible adopt an adorable pair (or triple) like the ones in Desperate Housewives This should keep you busy for a while. Then do something not quite horrible so that social services take them away from you.

 

h) Learn a dead language. Etruscan preferable.

 

i) Learn to speak a dead language. Some form of Cuneiform preferably.

 

j) Write a treaty on how Nearthentals wrote in the shores of beaches, thus explaining while no writtern record of their existence exists.

 

k) Tie yourself to a chair. Make sure you don't live alone, or if you do tell someone you're going to do this. You'll need feeding. Also, don't forget that your body needs to dispose of waste products. Perhaps it's better if you tie yourself to the toilet, but if you, please remember to lift the outer lid first.

 

l) Rent and watch the following series (in DVD or VHS, as the case may be): Farscape, Classic Trek, X-Files, Simpsons/Futurama, The Prisoner, The Avengers, all of the Gary Anderson stuff, Buffy/Angel, Friends (if you must), etc. You know your taste better.

 

m) Write your own version of Blades of Geneforge in Logo

 

n) Construct the world of Geneforge, or as much of it as you can, using Legos, Mega Blocks and other similar products. Mecano is also recommended.

 

o) Move to a monastery of your choice.

 

p) Go on a hunger strike. Express to Jeff in a polite e-mail that you will not eat anything other than Spam until he releases the version of the GF3 for your system.

 

q) Solve Format's theorem.

 

r) Disprove all of Stephen Hawking's points.

 

s) Or, for that matter, analitycally and theologically and other "ally" the different points in all major religious books from all major religions.

 

t) Download BoA or BoE and write a scenario for them that will resemble your idea of GF3.

 

u) Start a chicken farm in the roof of your house or building.

 

v) Shoot your own movie version of GF3 without any budget whatsoever with the help of your friends and a few local unemployed actors/hopeful actors and send it to the next Project Greenlight (correction: write the script for it, you'll shoot it if you're chosen. Remember it must be made for less than one million dollars)

 

w) Summon Nyarlathotep and play a game of chess with him by the shore of a lake. Remember that when it is over, he will take you with him for a tour you may not want to partake in.

 

x) Managed to get captured and be sent to The Village (not the one in the dumb movie)

 

y) Why?

 

z) This one is intentionally left blank so you can add your own recommendation.

 

Salud!

[Student of Trinity]

Item q) has been done by Andrew Wiles, but sure, we could try to find an alternative proof.

[Icshi]

Quote:

Originally written by behind stingy cactus:
Some things you can do while waiting for GF3 to come out

Some excellent advise there.

Personally, while I'm waiting, I'm going to adapt the first two Geneforge games into a 5-hour interpretive dance incorporating the moves, musical styles, and authentic ethnic costumes of the Kalmyk people. It will then be followed by a special 20-minute performance by Michael Flatley showcasing the current lines of speculative thought about GF3.



Queen's cakes and cream sodas will be sold during the intermission at exhorbitant prices. The manager will pretend that this money will go to charity. No cameras, please. All offers void except where prohibited. Reading the fine print will make you liable to a $600 fine and 10 months in prison.

[Toenail Returns]

I have done the following at least once in my life:

 

A

C

F

H

I

K

L

N

P (But for different reasons

T

U (Or at least, I tried to)

 

And that's it.

[Hawk King]

Quote:

Originally written by Icshi:
I just have to sit back a moment and say that the postings in this forum are absolutely hilarious and a joy to read and participate in.

Student of Trinity, Mr. Knowitall, Hawk King, and Ornk of Death are real stars in this regard. Waiting has never been this much fun! I almost hope GF3 won't be out until early next week so we can enjoy a little more of all this zanny, hysterically desperate banter.

< ...stunned silence... >

"What?! You don't want GF3 to come out until next week? Have you lost your mind, Icshi? Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!"

Ouch! Watch where you point that thing! You could have someone's eye out with that.

Hey, hey! Cool it, folks! I said "almost," didn't I?

In point of fact if GF3 doesn't come out soon, at the current rate of increase within a few days my new posts will become nothing but graemlin faces... So the maintaince of my mental health is a large factor in all this. So I do want it to come out tomorrow. Really I do!

(1) if that was a complement thanks if not die

(2)never EVER say anything like i hope it wont be out for a week or i will kill you or maybe just pulverize you or something i don't know just don't say it okay ? good

• Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!" Heretic! Burn the heretic!!!"

*begins to load his rocket launcher* watch your back man

[Icshi]

Quote:

Originally written by hawk king:
(2)never EVER say anything like i hope it wont be out for a week or i will kill you or maybe just pulverize you or something i don't know just don't say it okay ? good

Yes, I'm rather afraid my rash statement of jubilation brought a curse down on us all and caused the release date to slide forward a few days. My humblest apologies. I thoroughly recant. Still, the harm's been done, so you'd better butcher me to prevent this sort of thing from happening again.

But not until after I've played through GF3 at least twice. Please.

Quote:

*begins to load his rocket launcher* watch your back man

Oh my, how unimaginative. Surely there are grislier and more creative forms of capital punishment? The Mongols had a real doozy for that one — first, imprison the victim in a pit without food or water. Keep him that way for several days until he's nice and hungry, willing to eat anything. Then prepare a nice, hot, open fire suitable for roasting food over. Then cut off his fingers and < The rest of this email has been censored. But you can probably guess the rest anyway. The process simply continues until the prisoner starves, or until he runs out of detatchable body parts and dies from blood loss and overwhelming agony.>

[Hawk King]

Quote:

Originally written by Icshi:

Quote:

Originally written by hawk king:
(2)never EVER say anything like i hope it wont be out for a week or i will kill you or maybe just pulverize you or something i don't know just don't say it okay ? good

Yes, I'm rather afraid my rash statement of jubilation brought a curse down on us all and caused the release date to slide forward a few days. My humblest apologies. I thoroughly recant. Still, the harm's been done, so you'd better butcher me to prevent this sort of thing from happening again.

But not until after I've played through GF3 at least twice. Please.

Quote:

*begins to load his rocket launcher* watch your back man

Oh my, how unimaginative. Surely there are grislier and more creative forms of capital punishment? The Mongols had a real doozy for that one — first, imprison the victim in a pit without food or water. Keep him that way for several days until he's nice and hungry, willing to eat anything. Then prepare a nice, hot, open fire suitable for roasting food over. Then cut off his fingers and < The rest of this email has been censored. But you can probably guess the rest anyway. The process simply continues until the prisoner starves, or until he runs out of detatchable body parts and dies from blood loss and overwhelming agony.>

that would be to kind for your crime

[Actaeon]

Wait a minute... it seems to me that all of us are already dying slowly and painfully... waiting for Geneforge 3! As for other punishments... skinning someone alive is painful, slow, and a classic.

[Icshi]

Quote:

Originally written by mark greenwood:
Wait a minute... it seems to me that all of us are already dying slowly and painfully... waiting for Geneforge 3!

Indeed. The cruelest form of punishment for any addict is to take away his supply of the substance in question. In our case, we require massive semi-annual doses of augmentation canisters administered digitally through a phone line. Our latest dose is way overdue, and we're slowly perishing. But being Brothers in Adversity we provide temporary solace for one another through repeated, increasingly inarticulate expressions of comiseration, and mutual threats... We're on the border of the danger zone here.

Here is a checklist issued by the FDA describing the symptoms of prolonged withdrawl, in chronological order of their occurence and rise of severity. As an example, and as a helpful indication of the general level in the community, I have checked which ones I have already fallen prey to.

Inability to think clearly <check>

Itchy pants <check>

Disproportionate susceptibillity to incorrectly labeled jests regarding the potential release date of GF3 <check>

Heart palpitations and spontaneous cardiac arrest <check>

Uncontrollable sobbing <check>

Hallucinations of a terrifying nature <check>

Violent behavior and scattershot threats <check>

Morbid discussion of mediavel (often ethnicity-specific) styles execution methods <check>

A pinching, aching pain behind the eyeballs from staring at the computer screen too long composing posts on the software bulletin board in a desperate attempt to make time pass more quickly <check>

Carpol-tunnel syndrome (associated with previous symptom) <check>

Despair. Deep, deep despair.<check>

Uncontrollale stabbing. Anyone. Everyone. With Ginzu knives. <check!>

And we all know what the cure is... It'd better hurry, things are getting serious. Before we all die from withdrawl and/or by tearing each other to pieces.

[Student of Trinity]

I read Icshi's custom title with a whole different feeling, now.

[Hawk King]

Quote:

Originally written by Icshi:

Quote:

Originally written by mark greenwood:
Wait a minute... it seems to me that all of us are already dying slowly and painfully... waiting for Geneforge 3!

Indeed. The cruelest form of punishment for any addict is to take away his supply of the substance in question. In our case, we require massive semi-annual doses of augmentation canisters administered digitally through a phone line. Our latest dose is way overdue, and we're slowly perishing. But being Brothers in Adversity we provide temporary solace for one another through repeated, increasingly inarticulate expressions of comiseration, and mutual threats... We're on the border of the danger zone here.

Here is a checklist issued by the FDA describing the symptoms of prolonged withdrawl, in chronological order of their occurence and rise of severity. As an example, and as a helpful indication of the general level in the community, I have checked which ones I have already fallen prey to.

Inability to think clearly <check>

Itchy pants <check>

Disproportionate susceptibillity to incorrectly labeled jests regarding the potential release date of GF3 <check>

Heart palpitations and spontaneous cardiac arrest <check>

Uncontrollable sobbing <check>

Hallucinations of a terrifying nature <check>

Violent behavior and scattershot threats <check>

Morbid discussion of mediavel (often ethnicity-specific) styles execution methods <check>

A pinching, aching pain behind the eyeballs from staring at the computer screen too long composing posts on the software bulletin board in a desperate attempt to make time pass more quickly <check>

Carpol-tunnel syndrome (associated with previous symptom) <check>

Despair. Deep, deep despair.<check>

And we all know what the cure is... It'd better hurry, things are getting serious.

have mercy jeff give it to us before it's to late

[Actaeon]

Tear... each other... to pieces... Katana... sharp...Inferno Wand...fun...Geneforge 3... never going to show up... sanity... failing...

[Kelandon]

Eh, we might as well have only one anxiety topic, and it might as well be the one with the more anxious-sounding title. All posts along the lines of "OH GOD WHEN WILL IT COME OUT I MAY DIE BEFORE THEN" are henceforth to be posted here .