Weird Vahnatai

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

1. How do they spin those disks so far with their spindly little arms?

 

2. What does a pregnant Vahnatai look like? Or do they lay eggs? Or crystals?

 

3. How does one stitch mold into a cloak?

 

4. For a race that's so "superior," they sure have a lot of hatred to spread.

 

5. I have a theory. The Vahnatai alphabet goes something like this:

 

a - crystal

b - crystal

c - crystal soul

d - soul crystal

e - crystal

f - crystal

g - crystal

h - fine crystal

i - crystal

j - piercing crystal

k - "Death to Empire! Death to Humans! Crystals are great!"

l - crystal

m - crystal

n - unshackling crystal

o - crystal

p - endless razordisks for adventurers to pickup and sell for infinite gold

q - crystal

r - quickfire

s - crystal

t - mold

u - is

v - yummy

w - Chitrach

x - legacy

y - power

z - crystal

 

6. Aren't the Vahnatai getting tired of those waveblades yet?

 

7. With all the time they've spent around humans, you'd think a few Vahnatai language professors would be able to talk human talk pretty clearly by now!

 

8. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FREAKIN' CRYSTALS!!!???

[Ephesos]

Hm... I'm sensing a lot of random energy and unresolved anger in that post... I also sense it was written under the heavy influence of caffeine.

 

On topic, I suppose it makes perfect sense to the Vahnatai themselves, so who are we to judge?

 

And if there's anyone who would know about them, I think it's Drakefyre.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

I wasn't angry, and I haven't had any caffine today. It was partly a humor post, and I REALLY wanted to see what someone would visualize a pregnant Vahnatai as!

 

Speaking of which... I know it would probably be very similar to human practice, but, how do they... um... like... you know... on those flimsy little hammocks? Is it... like... easy?

[Zeviz]

Quote:

Originally written by Chief Spider watching The Simpsons:
1. How do they spin those disks so far with their spindly little arms?

Vahnatai arms have evolved into sophisticated throwing devices, capable of launching flat metal objects at rapid velocity. This is used not only to launch razordisks at their enemies, but also to staple posters to bulletin boards.

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2. What does a pregnant Vahnatai look like? Or do they lay eggs? Or crystals?

[censored]

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3. How does one stitch mold into a cloak?

Do you really want to know?

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4. For a race that's so "superior," they sure have a lot of hatred to spread.

How would you feel of you were awakened by some fools stumbling around in your bedroom, looking for "magic crystals that let you see things that aren't there"?

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5. I have a theory. The Vahnatai alphabet goes something like this:

a - crystal
b - crystal
c - crystal soul
d - soul crystal
e - crystal
f - crystal
g - crystal
h - fine crystal
i - crystal
j - piercing crystal
k - "Death to Empire! Death to Humans! Crystals are great!"
l - crystal
m - crystal
n - unshackling crystal
o - crystal
p - endless razordisks for adventurers to pickup and sell for infinite gold
q - crystal
r - quickfire
s - crystal
t - mold
u - is
v - yummy
w - Chitrach
x - legacy
y - power
z - crystal

Actually, Vahnatai alphabet contains 459 characters, most of which are invisible to lesser species. That's a good thing, because seeing some of these characters without proper training and awareness would instantly teleport the reader into a cursed sub-dimension to be forever tormented by his inner demons.

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6. Aren't the Vahnatai getting tired of those waveblades yet?

Waveblades are a unique cultural symbol whose understanding is beyond our pithiful minds.
Some, however, argue that waveblades are used simply to intimidate the enemies, who will think "if these guys can fight using that, they must be really tough".

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7. With all the time they've spent around humans, you'd think a few Vahnatai language professors would be able to talk human talk pretty clearly by now!

With all the time we've spent around dogs, you'd think human professors would be able to talk dog pretty clearly by now.

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8. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FREAKIN' CRYSTALS!!!???

See answer to question 6.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Nice try with the dog, except that dogs aren't sentient beings that have their own language. I also don't see why humans can't take up learning Novah either (eksept that their lang gwage is stupiderer and hard to figer out).

 

And I'm not satisfied with the "crystals are like waveblades" answer. There is something deeper, and I wish someone with great authority would answer it... JEFF VOGEL, I SUMMON THEE!!!

 

*cricket*

 

Finally, I can and WILL discover what a pregnant Vahnatai looks like. I already have some theories based on what I just thought of right now. I'll draw some up! First, I'll need to distinguish between a male and female Vahnatai. To the Vahnatai women's dressing room!

[Swimmin' Salmon]

A pregnant Kate Moss might approximate a pregnant vahnatai.

 

*this message sponsored by [211th letter of the alphabet]*

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Okay, I just drew up two ideas. I'm going to make photocopies and send them in to Spiderweb Software to see what they think. I'll ask them to post them so you guys can see.

 

They will give you nightmares.

[Drakefyre]

First of all - read this website in its entirety: Vahnatai Week .

 

Next:

 

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1. How do they spin those disks so far with their spindly little arms?

Vahnatai are surprisingly strong - they are stronger than humans and Nephilim. Also, razordisks are like shuriken.

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2. What does a pregnant Vahnatai look like? Or do they lay eggs? Or crystals?

They have a live birth much like humans, and their loose flowy robes do a great job hiding their bellies. That said, no human has ever observed a pregnant Vahnatai.

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3. How does one stitch mold into a cloak?

Very carefully.

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4. For a race that's so "superior," they sure have a lot of hatred to spread.

Not so. Only half of one clan of Vahnatai are rageaholics. Remember people like Bon-Ihrno? They're the norm.

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5. I have a theory. The Vahnatai alphabet goes something like this:

 

a - crystal

b - crystal

c - crystal soul

d - soul crystal

e - crystal

f - crystal

g - crystal

h - fine crystal

i - crystal

j - piercing crystal

k - "Death to Empire! Death to Humans! Crystals are great!"

l - crystal

m - crystal

n - unshackling crystal

o - crystal

p - endless razordisks for adventurers to pickup and sell for infinite gold

q - crystal

r - quickfire

s - crystal

t - mold

u - is

v - yummy

w - Chitrach

x - legacy

y - power

z - crystal

See website.

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6. Aren't the Vahnatai getting tired of those waveblades yet?

No. After all, they can be enchanted and used to get into difficult-to-open pickle jars.

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7. With all the time they've spent around humans, you'd think a few Vahnatai language professors would be able to talk human talk pretty clearly by now!

Many can, but word order and syntax are confusing to them.

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8. WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FREAKIN' CRYSTALS!!!???

See website.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

I've seen that site before... before I even came to these boards, a few years ago, I found that site and the Vahnatai language. I have a copy of some of the language copy and pasted into a file.

 

How did you find out so much about the Vahnatai language, anyway?

[Lilith]

Detailed notes on the game, educated guesswork and just plain making stuff up.

[Alorael at Large]

Vahnatai don't become pregnant. They bud. However, genders are more than just cosmetic. You see, males only produce left sides and females only produce right sides. A pair of opposite genders can work together to make one whole vahnatai, although the process isn't pretty and involves many crystals.

 

As for your suggestion of the flimsy hammocks (futons!), don't think that budding doesn't involve that. It does. The process involves more crystals, though, and some mold.

 

Waveblades are very Freudian. Enough said. So are crystals, come to think of it.

 

Crystals are more than just shiny: they are translucent and multifaceted. Why wouldn't vahnatai like all the crystals they can get? Oh, and if you die, you can maybe end up as a crystal if you're lucky, so there could also be some wishful thinking involved.

 

With all the time humans have spent around humans, you'd think that we'd all speak each other's languages. Hmm.

 

—Alorael, who finds Spider's question absurd. Of course a vahnatai would know vahnatai language even if he is really, really young.

[Skribbane Freak]

Quote:

Originally written by Chief Spider watching The Simpsons:
Speaking of which... I know it would probably be very similar to human practice, but, how do they... um... like... you know... on those flimsy little hammocks? Is it... like... easy?[/QB]

umm.. thay... ummm... its?....

[The Almighty Doer of Stuff]

Well said, Grape Slime. Well said.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

What I meant to ask was it was possible for them to do... that thing where a mommy Vahnatai and a daddy Vahnatai come together to... satisfy their "urges"... if it was possible to do with the little space they have on the little "beds" that look like saw horses with yellow spider webs spun between them.

 

And if what Penultimatum said was correct and they really "bud" and don't get pregnant, how do the Vahnatai have any real fun?

[Drakefyre]

Humans can do it in single beds - so can Vahnatai.

[Alorael at Large]

You obviously didn't read all of the complexities of the budding process. It can be very enjoyable when enough crystals are involved.

 

—Alorael, who feels little need or inclination to continue this line of reasoning, thank you very much.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

I didn't see anything about budding. Where is it?

[Lilith]

http://www.ironycentral.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=17;t=001735#000010

 

Quote:

Vahnatai don't become pregnant. They bud. However, genders are more than just cosmetic. You see, males only produce left sides and females only produce right sides. A pair of opposite genders can work together to make one whole vahnatai, although the process isn't pretty and involves many crystals.

Note that all of this is made up. We're generally an incredibly poor source of straight, canonical answers to questions like this, but then, you weren't expecting any, were you?

[Dallerdin with a custom moniker.]

So, if green, blue, and red Geneforge crystals are used instead of Avernum ones, will the result be a servile rather than a vahnatai?

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

I just don't get it. And with what I've heard and the bit I AM able to understand, I hope I never do.

 

I think I'll make up some Vahnatai stuff of my own! I'll be called "Doctor Vahnatai," and everyone will come to me for all their questions about Vahnatai with totally clever, made-up answers, even though I don't particularly like them.

 

For example, do you know who REALLY made the crystals that Vahnatai love so much? The slimes! That's right, before Rentar Ihrono "created" (kidnapped) her own, some slimes would freeze themselves into crystals just before they died! I discovered this during field work, and exclaimed, "That's astounding, simply astounding!"

[Drakefyre]

My website has the "real-est" answers available - Jeff himself said so.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Doesn't mean I can't make up extra!

 

Here's another one:

Do you know how today's Vahnatai are so thin?

It's because they obey the teachings of the Crystal Souls so much, and the Crystal Souls, having become bored after so many millenia, decided to teach an entire race the philosophy of anorexea...

[Alorael at Large]

Don't be silly. It's because the vahnatai revere the Crystal Souls and try to emulate them in their wisdom and, well, other things. Rocks don't eat. Therefore vahnatai try not to eat either. It's a vicious cycle of negative body image. Carbon is okay!

 

—Alorael, who is ready to found VASE: Vahnatai Against Stupid Eating. Among other benefits, it promises to open the role of Rentar-Ihrno to other actresses than the esteemed Ms. Flockhart.

[kuc]

I want to bud a Gold Vahnati, to beat the Black Vahnati.

[Aran]

Vah. Nah. Tai.

 

Honestly, the only word that has been misspelled more often is Slithzerikai.

[Lilith]

Actually, there's only one H in "vahnatai".

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

One thing confuses me about the name:

Are we supposed to capitalize "Vahnatai?" I mean, we don't often capitalize "Human," but the Vahnatai are often so full of themselves, and it is refering to a specific race. Maybe we should start capitalizing both.

 

Here's another fun fact about the Vahnatai:

You know how the Vahnatai are so flexible? It's because they don't have bones.

[Thralni]

Actually, there are many life forms without bones. They get their body (Sorry, I couldn't find an appropriate word) from other things, like water (gelly fish). other (like snails) just stay on the ground without being very high, which enables them to not having bones.

 

How do you actually know they don't have bones? because if I'm not very mistaken and I just don't rememebr it properly, then an undead Vahnatai (like Vahnavoi, i think) leaves bones when you slay it.

[Micawber]

On the subject of capitalisation, I think we should capitalise whenever the word 'vahnatai' is used as a noun "the Vahnatai are unhappy because their crystal souls were stolen", but drop the capital when the word is used as an adjective "you have learned more about the vahnatai language".

 

Changing the subject:

Thralnai, it was a joke. The graemlin was a clue.

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Yes the bone thing was a joke, as were the other things. As for the Vahnavoi thing though, it couldn't have been avoided since they're undead, and undead leave bones behind. It's just the graphic, it doesn't really mean anything.

 

But here's something I'll bet you didn't know:

When the Vahnatai go into "resting," they get into the crystals by opening them up like doors (the crystal coffins have hinges on them, with body depressions, just like human coffins). There's really no other way. Any ways, I've discovered that instead of food, they fight each other in their minds and then "think-eat" each other! And instead of breathing, they absorb the minerals from the crystal coffins of the dead Vahnatai! Teleporter crystals serve as waste recepticles. This is why Vahnatai resting sites become ruins after so long. Facinating!

[Mortimer]

Enter the Vahtrix.

[Drakefyre]

*yawn*

[Kelandon]

As far as I know, capitalizing "vahnatai" is primarily a boards thing. The games don't do it much if at all.

[Erika Maroonmark]

For some reason I always thought it was capitalized. I think it might be capitalized in the Exile FAQ (some reference to a Vahnatai cave, I think). Or something. And then when I played Avernum II, I thought "Hey, isn't that a typo? 'Vahnatai' is capitalized!... Wait, no, this is the actual game!"

[Drakefyre]

Jeff doesn't capitalize Nephilim, Slithzerikai, or Vahnatai. I, however, like capital letters.

[Alorael at Large]

Most writers don't capitalize human, dog, platypus, or flatworm. Platyhelminthes is capitalized, but that is because it's a phylum. Unless vahnatai are actually Vahnatai speciesname, there's no reason to capitalize.

 

—Alorael, who excludes Tolkien, who was also fond of capitals. When you create your own language, you can create your own system of capitalization too. Until then, it is only courteous to adhere to the same system as the man who invented the name.

[Aran]

Vahnatai vahnatainis.

 

Also, Elves and Dwarves are commonly capitalized in fantasy fiction, as are Men, when the term is used to refer to humans. But that's an author's choice too, and apparently Jeff decided not to capitalize species names.

[Lilith]

Mmm, vahnatainis -- the alcoholic drinks made with gin, vermouth, and a twist of chitrach webs.

[kuc]

Mmmmm, 3 totally horrible drinks mixed into one ultimately horriby drink.

 

shame on you for mentioning it =/

[Thralni]

Quote:

Originally written by Micawber:

Changing the subject:
Thralnai, it was a joke. The graemlin was a clue.

Sorry, didn't want to start an intelligent sort of conversation. Sorry for that. (I myself actually don't really understand my response... Ah well, what do I care. )

As for the CapiTalIzatIOn: Its proabbly just something that people do when writing fast.

As for the coffins: that doesn't look to me like something a really advanced crystal coffin thing would have, but indeed. How else would they enter?

As for the... This is getting boring

TAKE 2

About the "think eating": Did you think of that yourself?

[Aran]

Quote:

Originally written by Gastric Freezing:
Actually, there's only one H in "vahnatai".

It was, uh, just for emphasis. Yes. Empf Fah Syz.

[Alorael at Large]

Tolkien and his closest imitators are the ones who capitalize Men, Elves, and Dwarves. Some others capitalize Elves and Dwarves but not men, which is strange, and more just leave them all lower case.

 

—Alorael, who also enjoys pointing out that elvish and dwarfish are words. Elven and dwarven are not standard English.

[Aran]

Quote:

Originally written by Glitch, technical:
Tolkien and his closest imitators are the ones who capitalize Men, Elves, and Dwarves. Some others capitalize Elves and Dwarves but not men, which is strange, and more just leave them all lower case.

—Alorael, who also enjoys pointing out that elvish and dwarfish are words. Elven and dwarven are not standard English.

For consistency, it should be elfish and dwarfish, or elvish and dwarvish.

[kuc]

Quote:

Originally written by Arancaytar:

Quote:

Originally written by Glitch, technical:
Tolkien and his closest imitators are the ones who capitalize Men, Elves, and Dwarves. Some others capitalize Elves and Dwarves but not men, which is strange, and more just leave them all lower case.

—Alorael, who also enjoys pointing out that elvish and dwarfish are words. Elven and dwarven are not standard English.

For consistency, it should be elfish and dwarfish, or elvish and dwarvish.

You are forgetting the key point though: it is based on the English language

[Chief Spider watching The Simpsons]

Yes, but a little too so with "Middle Earth." Why the heck did there have to be a "Middle in it?"

 

Oh, and my new Vahnatai discovery:

Mind Crystals are really just Crystal Souls that have gotten sooooooo old that they aren't of any guiding use anymore. So they give one last gift as a sense of fulfillment... or drain your mind as a final strike before they go to Hell...

Amazing! Absolutely Amazing!

[Erika Maroonmark]

Tolkien was very logical. He maed the plural of 'elf' 'elves', as it should logically be, instead of the standard 'elfs'. Not only is it more difficult to pronounce than 'elves', but it also makes no sense when you consider 'wolves', 'leaves', 'knives', 'shelves', &c.

I think that in medieval times "the middle earth" meant the real world, as opposed to heaven, hell, &c. I vaguely remember reading that somewhere. ^^;;

[Alorael at Large]

Elfish and dwarfish are also English words but not, interestingly enough, the same words as elvish and dwarvish. They're synonyms for most purposes, though.

 

—Alorael, who believes Middle-Earth is based on Midgard linguistically if not entirely conceptually. It probably has to do both with the fact that Middle-Earth was the home of mortals (and elves and such) between spiritual realms and the fact that Middle-Earth came after the Beginning with a capital B and before our current Earth, according to Tolkien's mythology.

[Lochmacher]

All interesting questions, true, but taken too seriously. As Plato once ejaculated, "Save the phenomena!". Attempting too stringently to dissect an issue de-mystifies it and can lead to a sad, detached, ennui that will leave both the subject of inquiry and the inquiring subject at a loss.

 

edit: Note, however, that the author of this particular reply is not stating that all things be dealt with in such manner, but rather it is the utility of the information in question and/or capacity of the mind in retention and application that should direct our interests toward the minutae and it's many, wending tangents. Put simply and in context, a pregnant Vahnatai is only of interest to one who is either: A)A viable male of the same, elusive species, An unconscionable pervert, or C)An Avernite who needs to deal with said pregnancy in some capacity including delivery of, maintainence of, or avoidance of.

 

Add' Edit: Note bold text, I am not against such a pursuit. Merely cautioning against frivolity when such endeavors exceed the grasp of the ponderer, his methods, or even his dedication to the task.

[Alorael at Large]

Have you no appreciation for the pursuit of knowledge for knowledge's sake? Can you not see the hypothetical beauty of a pregnant vahnatai, no matter how fictitious such an entity may be even in a fictitious context? For shame! It is not those who dare to question unrealities and dream of an ever more complex and complete world who reduce everything to dry facts and figures!

 

—Alorael, who would have to agree with the assessment of those who are curious about pregnant vahnatai, though. You don't ask about pregnant hydras (the small, primitive organism, not the lizard with many heads). Accept that budding can be beautiful too.

[mandrake]

Quote:

Originally written by Arancaytar:
Vah. Nah. Tai.

Honestly, the only word that has been misspelled more often is Slithzerikai.

I think that slithzerikai is actually the easier to spell, since vahnahtai has that extra 'e' that shouldn't be there, kind of like 'phlegm'.