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Slarty Ranks Everything


Slarti

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Sock puppets (fake accounts): Given that both the purpose and impact of these are generally dishonest and misleading, it's hard to be at all positive about them.

Cats (musical): No.  I still have nightmares about that one song that the one girl in my elementary school insisting on singing at every single @#!$@ school music program.

Goldfish (snack): I don't understand how they can be inhaled so quickly.

Paprika (film): Not ranking this as I haven't seen it but boy, the synopsis on Wikipedia sounds craaaazy.

Spam (e-mails): On the one hand, annoying and stupid.  On the other hand, you sometimes get some pretty amusing subject lines.

KISS (principle): Pretty much a stupid and limbless rephrasing of Occam's Razor.  It's not that it's wrong, it just has no reason to exist.

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Cait Sith

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Slartibartfast

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature

70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

Lady Gaga

Jeff Vogel

Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

70's prog

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

Cats

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Goldfish (snack)

Avernum 4

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Paprika

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts (comic)

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Word Rescue

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

Dieselpunk

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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Apparently I'm feeling silly, so I'll ask how the following stack up:

Nethergate
Pride and Prejudice

Emma

Persuasion

Sense and Sensibility

Northanger Abbey

Cinnamon rolls

Casablanca (the film, not the city)

Sparkling water

Toads

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall
Thomas the Tank Engine
Sir Topham Hatt

George Clooney
Cluny the Scourge
The Dalai Lama
The aesthetic qualities of [hieroglyphics / the Greek alphabet / the Hebrew alphabet]

Why am I even coming up with this nonsense? Slarty stop being a bad influence on me pls kthxbai :lol:

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The Adventures of Pete & Pete

the video of a bunch of turkeys walking in a circle around a dead cat in the middle of the road

AutCraft (Minecraft server for autistic people)

Minecraft in general

Markiplier

Inspector Peanut

Grant Wood

Norman Rockwell

Hypgnosis (art collective)

 

Tangent: While we're talking about names with apostrophes, I have a question which I may have asked before but I forget: I have a demon character named Wendu'lu, and I've also tried Wen'dulu. I'm trying to find the best way to call her (WEN-doo-loo) but without the fecal appearance and hopefully not looking terrible, but I'm not sure how. What do you think?

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8 hours ago, The Almighty Doer of Stuff said:

Tangent: While we're talking about names with apostrophes, I have a question which I may have asked before but I forget: I have a demon character named Wendu'lu, and I've also tried Wen'dulu. I'm trying to find the best way to call her (WEN-doo-loo) but without the fecal appearance and hopefully not looking terrible, but I'm not sure how. What do you think?

 

The difficulty you may have here is English stress and intonation.  English stress patterns mean people will expect one of two pronunciations: either Wen-DOO-loo, or WEN-da-loo.  If you want that long u sound in the second syllable, the natural tendency is going to be to treat it as the stressed syllable rather than wen.  I would do two things.  First, use something else to represent the long u sound in the second syllable, so it doesn't get schwaed.  Second, find some way to set the first syllable apart (perhaps lengthening the spelling as well) so it is a more natural target for stress.  (I would not suggest an apostrophe, because they tend to show up where there's a glottal stop or a contraction, which is not actually what you want.)  Some potential ideas:

 

Wehn-doulu

Wehn-duulu

Waen-doulu

Waen-duulu

Wenndoulu

Wennduulu

Wenn-doulu

Wenn-duulu

 

Another option would be to play on the similarity to Cthulhu, and go with something like

 

Wendulhu

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Nethergate: A good story with brilliant atmosphere in a clever game system.
Jane Austen books: Bah, and that's all the analysis you'll get from me.  Sorry.

Cinnamon rolls: Good, but generally way more sugary than is necessary.

Casablanca (the film, not the city): It's fine.  I respect it, but it's not really my thing.

Sparkling water: I like it, but I don't like going to the bathroom as frequently as drinking it entails.

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall: An arrogant several-words-could-go-here who does not deserve the page time he receives.
Thomas the Tank Engine: No?  No.  No thanks.  And that's plenty of coverage for this franchise.

George Clooney: He's a perfectly good actor.  I did think he was by far the least interesting of the original six ER cast members, and didn't understand why he was the one who managed to catapult to stardom.
Cluny the Scourge: A good, competent villain with a beautifully concrete name.
The Dalai Lama: Really, really complicated.  I'm not sure I can find a place to put him on the list that I'll feel good about.  Let's leave him off under the "superposition" category.
The aesthetic qualities of hieroglyphics: I support writing on general principle, but -- eh.
The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet: Lovely and flowing.
The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet: The close-cleaving to calligraphy gives it a stylized look that is both good and bad.
Nephils: As fantasy races go, they're pretty good.  I particularly like the nuanced depictions implications we got about nephilim and nepharim coexisting in E1-2.  (Unfortunately, that thread never recurred.)

Sliths: As fantasy races go, they're pretty good.  Ultimately, magically-adept lizardmen are a less hackneyed idea than agile catmen, and the Sss-Thsss / Bahssikava background is pretty good, especially if you consider the way Kelandon has expanded on it.
The Adventures of Pete & Pete: Good for what it was.  Never quite pulled me in.

the video of a bunch of turkeys walking in a circle around a dead cat in the middle of the road: Does not deserve to go viral. That's what turkeys do.

Minecraft in general: Not my bag.

Inspector Peanut: I support Inspector Peanut.

Grant Wood: Like some of his art; prefer it to his regionalism.

Norman Rockwell: Like some of his art and some of his ideals but ultimately am not super moved.

Hypgnosis (art collective): Assuming you mean Hipgnosis, not really my favourite.

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Cait Sith

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature

70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Lady Gaga

Jeff Vogel

Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Cluny the Scourge

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

Cats

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca (film)

Goldfish (snack)

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts (comic)

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

George Clooney

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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I don't know where the Like button went, but thanks. :) I'll think more. Wenn-duluu might be better; there's meant to be a little more emphasis on the third syllable but I didn't want a schwaed e or a like some people suggested. The double u makes it look and sound about right.

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Your favorite Exile/Avernum character (you choose)
Your favorite Geneforge character (you choose)

Your favorite Simpsons character (you choose)
Whales
Wales
Wails

Today's weather
Lawsuits
Mexican food
Bossa Nova
Trombones

The Marx Brothers

Nixon's foreign policy

Aretha Franklin

Frodo Baggins

Bilbo Baggins

Edited by Jawaj
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Your favorite Exile/Avernum character (you choose): Hmm.  There are a few contenders, but ultimately, it's probably Prossis-Bok.  (Athron also comes to mind.)
Your favorite Geneforge character (you choose): Definitely Shanti.

Your favorite Simpsons character (you choose): Also no question -- Maggie Simpson.
Today's weather: Not good.
Lawsuits: Uh... they're necessary?  Important?  A mechanism that potentially empowers the weak.  Even some of the ones that people bring up as frivolous were actually legitimate, like the infamous McDonald's coffee lawsuit.
Mexican food: Tasty.
Bossa Nova: Very cool.  Also something that, as an influence, links a few of my favourite bands in different genres.
Trombones: Good instruments.

Nixon's foreign policy: A real mixed bag.  It was mostly competent.  Some substantial moves towards peace, some problematic military operations (especially in Latin America), and some truly unfortunate ongoing arms sales.

Aretha Franklin: It's hard not to like Franklin, but if we're talking classic female soul, Gladys Knight is more my speed.

Frodo Baggins: Ultimately becomes a remarkable and evocative portrait of PTSD.  Beyond that, I find him thinner.

Bilbo Baggins: A personal favourite and perhaps the most thoroughly drawn (and most human) character in Tolkien.  People don't pay attention to it, but Bilbo also offers us an icon of the power of compassion, on a grand scale, as is rarely seen in literature: "The pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many."

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Bossa nova

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

Shanti

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Cluny the Scourge

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

Cats

Trombones

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca (film)

Goldfish (snack)

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts (comic)

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

George Clooney

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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3 hours ago, Bounde Uppe the Mystic Estate said:

Lawsuits: Uh... they're necessary?  Important?  A mechanism that potentially empowers the weak.  Even some of the ones that people bring up as frivolous were actually legitimate, like the infamous McDonald's coffee lawsuit.

 

I'm sorry, but what exactly is legitimate about this lawsuit? Both, the lawsuit itself and the judgment, are equally incomprehensible to me.

 

And another giant mystery I'm asking you to rank: Trump. 

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Coffee is a brewed drink. Call me crazy but I guess the hot water needs to be hot so that it can be used for brewing (could that by chance be the reason for water used hot as industry standard for brewing?). 

 

In my opinion, however, the legal system is often only used for personal enrichment and even endangers areas such as health care, but I really don't want to start an argument here.

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My emphasis.  Wikipedia:

Quote

During the case, Liebeck's attorneys discovered that McDonald's required franchisees to hold coffee at 180–190 °F (82–88 °C). At 


190 °F (88 °C), the coffee would cause a third-degree burn in two to seven seconds... McDonald's claimed that the reason for serving such hot coffee in its drive-through windows was that those who purchased the coffee typically were commuters who wanted to drive a distance with the coffee; the high initial temperature would keep the coffee hot during the trip. However, it came to light that McDonald's had done research which indicated that customers intend to consume the coffee immediately while driving.

Other documents obtained from McDonald's showed that from 1982 to 1992 the company had received more than 700 reports of people burned by McDonald's coffee to varying degrees of severity, and had settled claims arising from scalding injuries for more than $500,000... McDonald's coffee would burn the mouth and throat if consumed when served.

 

 

 

Per the WSJ:

Quote

When a law firm here found itself defending McDonald's Corp. in a suit last year that claimed the company served dangerously hot coffee, it hired a law student to take temperatures at other local restaurants for comparison. After dutifully slipping a thermometer into steaming cups and mugs all over the city, Danny Jarrett found that

none came closer than about 20 degrees to the temperature at which McDonald's coffee is poured, about 180 degrees.

The testimony of Mr. Appleton, the McDonald's executive, didn't help the company, jurors said later. He testified that McDonald's knew its coffee sometimes caused serious burns, but hadn't consulted burn experts about it. He also testified that McDonald's had decided not to warn customers about the possibility of severe burns, even though most people wouldn't think it possible. Finally, he testified that McDonald's didn't intend to change any of its coffee policies or procedures, saying, "There are more serious dangers in restaurants."

Mr. Elliott, the juror, says he began to realize that the case was about "callous disregard for the safety of the people."

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John Calhoun (politician): Competent and abhorrent.
Schuyler Colfax: A Radical Republican whose abolitionism outweighs his scandal and who has a name that makes him sound like an eco-villain from Captain Planet.  I mean, come on.
Henry Wallace: Statistician, plant scientist, mystic, progressive.  The Plato of vice presidents?
Phantom stair step (top): This can cause spills.  Wouldn't want to be holding a McDonald's coffee. :p
Phantom stair step (bottom): Momentarily quite unsettling.

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Bossa nova

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Henry Wallace

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

Shanti

Schuyler Colfax

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Cluny the Scourge

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

Cats

Trombones

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca (film)

Goldfish (snack)

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts (comic)

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Phantom stair step (bottom)

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

George Clooney

Phantom stair step (top)

John Calhoun (politician)

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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That John C. Calhoun ranking...ugh, I can't stand that man. Talented and successful politician, sure, but plenty of awful people are successful politicians, so Calhoun has plenty of company.
 

However, this ranking blunder :p does give me a convenient opportunity to share this delightful story about Mr. Calhoun that is unfortunately fictional but totally deserves to be true.

 

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Pet Sounds: An amazing, pioneering album with an unmistakable sound that has truly stood the test of time.  (And if you're a fan, Cal, allow me to recommend the trippy, meticulously crafted reworking _Adieu or Die_ by Will C -- https://willc.bandcamp.com/album/adieu-or-die-album)

Nevermind: An overplayed, overly iconic album -- but you can see why it became that, and I have to give it some credit.

The Queen is Dead: I love the Smiths.  Their albums don't fully cover it -- a lot of my favourite stuff is non-album, and _Louder than Bombs_ really pulls it together for me more than any one LP.  But _The Queen is Dead_ has some beautiful turns, and it might be my favourite of their studio albums.

OK Computer: Nearly as much of an instant time-warp for me as _Nevermind._  I have a widely varying opinion of Radiohead's music but _OK Computer_ is the sort of album I really can't say no to, with a unique, evocative timbre and every last note fit into place.  Remarkable, even if it is unboundedly depressing (and less cathartic than either the Beach Boys or Smiths entries on this list).

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Pet Sounds

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Bossa nova

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Henry Wallace

OK Computer

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

The Queen is Dead

Shanti

Schuyler Colfax

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

The Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Cluny the Scourge

Nevermind

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

Cats

Trombones

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca

Goldfish (snack)

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Phantom stair step (bottom)

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

George Clooney

Phantom stair step (top)

John Calhoun (politician)

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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goog: Not familiar with these.  I've given them a listen and feel generally good about them, but don't feel like I can rank them fairly after only cursory experience... I'm OK with Zappa.  I can probably best represent my feelings here by telling you that my favourite Captian Beefheart album is _Shiny Beast (Bat Chain Puller)_.  Henry Cow's "Nine Funerals of the Citizen King" may need to be added to the hymnal for the Church of the Nine-Headed Cave Cow.  Also, I'm curious (a) if _Tarkus_ gets its name from Akkadian, and (b) if Shadow Tarkus in Av1 got his name from this album.  Not quite in line with Jeff's other band citations, but you never know.

 

Richard Cheese: Eh.

"This is a Trent Reznor Song": How far the man's music has fallen; sigh.  It does seem to be accurate these days.  It's hard to feel good about it though.

Fifty Shades of Grey: How not to publicize a subculture.

Gilbert Gottfried: Points for Iago, at least.

"Gilbert Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades of Grey": Points for the expressions on the listeners' faces.

 

Avadon series: A lot of good bits and a lot of things that drag them down.  Uneven in most respects, and not evenly.

The last game I played: Pretty good, thanks for asking.

Freefall (webcomic): Simply not funny.

Bacon: Overdone, but also best when it's all crispy and overdone.

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Pet Sounds

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Bossa nova

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Bacon

Henry Wallace

OK Computer

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

The Queen is Dead

Shanti

Schuyler Colfax

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

The Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

The last game I played

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Cluny the Scourge

Nevermind

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

"...Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades..."

Cats

Trombones

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca

Avadon series

Goldfish (snack)

Gilbert Gottfried

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

They Might Be Giants

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Richard Cheese

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

"This is a Trent Reznor Song"

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Phantom stair step (bottom)

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

George Clooney

Phantom stair step (top)

John Calhoun (politician)

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

Fifty Shades of Grey

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Cats (musical)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

Freefall (webcomic)

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Crusades

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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I gotta say, salty licorice is amazing and you're really missing out if you don't try it. It takes a couple pieces to acquire the taste, the first one you try is nasty but only the first. Once you've acquired the taste there's nothing else like it.

 

Now more things for you to rank:

 

the BitTorrent protocol

Kierkegaard

King Leopold

ontology

The War on Drugs (the band)

a hypothetical box which has a 97% chance to be filled with cuddly kittens, but a 3% of being filled with hundreds of dead rats

yourself

Edited by fenzil
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7 hours ago, Disintegral said:

Also, I'm curious (a) if _Tarkus_ gets its name from Akkadian, and (b) if Shadow Tarkus in Av1 got his name from this album.

"Tarkus" (the album title) is a portmanteau of "tank" and "carcass", because this is prog rock and this is how we do things.

 

I would be very amused if Shadow Tarkus got his name from the album, because every time I see his name in the game I already involuntarily think of the big armadillo tank, but like. Dark. Evil.

 

tumblr_o8986wakfs1s0zv8eo1_400.gif

The Wayfarer approaches with another ethically dubious task...

 

Shiny Beast is good... but original Bat Chain Puller is superior.

Edited by googoogjoob
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No Tropical Hot Dog AND NO ICE ROSE???  You're kidding, goog.

 

BitTorrent: Better than not.
Kierkegaard: A major influence, for me.
King Leopold: A very bad man.
Ontology: A necessary exertion, rather like the Dead Marshes in Tolkien.
The War on Drugs (band): A great example of competent, polished, drab indie rock, that takes interesting elements and chews them as if they are bubble gum.
A hypothetical box which has a 97% chance to be filled with cuddly kittens, but a 3% of being filled with hundreds of dead rats: Kittens are great but are not worth even a small chance of rats.

 

Ninjas: An archetype with versatility, including a lot of potential for interesting moral turns.  Pretty good.
Pirates: Source of bad jokes and bad movies.
Robots: A broad category that I feel I cannot adequately summarize in a judgment.
Bartenders: An occupation that is useful and tends to be competently filled.

 

Basketball: A pointless sport.
Baseball: A boring sport.
Football (American): A sport that is less brainless, at least until you get hit in the head.
Soccer/European football: A sport I roll my eyes at.
Hockey: A sport that has fewer annoying fans.
Tennis: An elitist sport.
The Olympics: A heinous, corrupt, exploitative, inequitable, culturally stupefying event.
The Cranberries (the band): Solid, with a moving voice (RIP) and occasional bouts of musical greatness.  "Zombie", despite its mainstream success and radio oversaturation, has some pretty amazing, subtle harmonic progressions going on, and is of course one of those songs where the subject and the musical form -- including the unique vocals -- dovetail perfectly.
The Muppets: Yes. Bork!
 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Pet Sounds

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Kierkegaard

Bossa nova

Disco

File compression

Sliced bread

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Ninjas

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Bacon

Henry Wallace

OK Computer

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

The Queen is Dead

Shanti

Schuyler Colfax

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

The Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

The last game I played

Bartenders

Sock puppets

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Ontology

Cluny the Scourge

BitTorrent

Nevermind

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

"...Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades..."

The Cranberries (band)

Cats

Trombones

The Muppets

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca

Avadon series

Goldfish (snack)

Gilbert Gottfried

Football (American)

Nephils

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

They Might Be Giants

Tennis

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Richard Cheese

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

"This is a Trent Reznor Song"

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Phantom stair step (bottom)

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

Hockey

George Clooney

Phantom stair step (top)

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

Hipgnosis

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

The War on Drugs (band)

Fifty Shades of Grey

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Basketball

Baseball

Cats (musical)

Pirates

Soccer

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

Freefall (webcomic)

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

Kitten/rat box

John Calhoun (politician)

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

The Olympics

The Crusades

King Leopold

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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14 minutes ago, Disintegral said:

No Tropical Hot Dog AND NO ICE ROSE???  You're kidding, goog.

I do still like Shiny Beast... I just prefer Bat Chain Puller. I like Drumbo more than I like Robert Williams, and Shiny Beast has no Denny Walley, whose slide guitar is so good.

 

In general I have mixed feelings about late-period Beefheart, cuz it's obviously still really good, but also I guess I don't like the "feel" of the band on the last three albums so much, or the production. Also, a depressing number of the songs are recycled from years before, which lends to the feeling of general decline. Ice Rose (the music for it at least) was written in 1967, Owed T'Alex was a poem written in 1965, Suction Prints and Harry Irene were written in 1971.

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I disagree with your dismissal of reworked material on account of it being "recycled."  Some of my best output, in any medium, pregnates and morphs about for years at a time before it is done.

 

Edit: Also, why is the "which Captain Beefheart album are you" quiz no longer around.  That thing was surprisingly deep.

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In Memoriam: dbot (February 22, 2016 to March 5, 2018)

 

Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the 80's (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qysUfuoW1jg)

Pop Roulette - Stuff from the 90's! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEbRL7-Awr0)

Flight of the Conchords - Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArZxLj6DLk)

They Might Be Giants - Minimum Wage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYOfxS_Qp1g)

Mozart's The Magic Flute - O zittre nicht, mein lieber Sohn

Robert Plant and Alison Krauss - Fortune Teller (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5DeIcYD6xE)

The Deck of Many Things

Tarot

ELIZA

Your favourite anime

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Cor Blok's Tolkien art
Pelicans
Flamingos
Ravens
Pigeons/Doves
Grackles
Robins

Cardinals (bird)
Roguelikes
The Big Lebowski
Mechanical pencils
Traditional pencils
Pens (go by your favorite type)
AOL
Smartphones
Homestar Runner
Bagels
Donuts

Beowulf
Robin Hood
King Arthur
The song "Hunger Strike"
Queen (Band)

Louis Armstrong

Edited by Jawaj
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On 3/4/2018 at 4:50 AM, Disintegral said:

 

The Queen is Dead: I love the Smiths.  Their albums don't fully cover it -- a lot of my favourite stuff is non-album, and _Louder than Bombs_ really pulls it together for me more than any one LP.  But _The Queen is Dead_ has some beautiful turns, and it might be my favourite of their studio albums.

 

 

Yes! Louder than Bombs is incredible. Rank is just as good. To borrow a Partridge-ism, my favourite The Smiths album is definitely "The Best of The Smiths".

 

On 3/4/2018 at 4:50 AM, Disintegral said:

OK Computer: Nearly as much of an instant time-warp for me as _Nevermind._  I have a widely varying opinion of Radiohead's music but _OK Computer_ is the sort of album I really can't say no to, with a unique, evocative timbre and every last note fit into place.  Remarkable, even if it is unboundedly depressing (and less cathartic than either the Beach Boys or Smiths entries on this list)...."

 

 

Hmm. I really love Radiohead, and I think OK Computer is actually one of my least favourite record they've put out. I like that it;s unboundedly depressing (but is it even? Even songs like Exit Music and Let Down and No Surprises have a kind of escapist joy to them!) and I like that the 20th Anniversary remaster is as felicitous as the original was. 

 

I mean, either way, hooray! Maybe one day I'll post proper thoughts on these albums/artists. <3

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sea slugs: Pretty cool looking. Also an enemy in DW2, which is cool
the Eiffel Tower: I suspect there's a lot of really bad crap entwined with its history, but at least we got a cool Pixies song out of it

 

"Acceptable in the 80's": Unnecessary
"Stuff from the 90's!": I *have* nostalgia for the 90's and I *still* despise this.  I can't tell if it's attempting to make a point about negative stuff being ignored, or just a dumb joke.  The fact that the first three "jokes" were emblematic effects of egregious systemic ethnic supremacism -- but then the fourth was the Oklahoma City Bombing which, while sad, has a lot less to unpack -- suggests that it is what it looks like: a bunch of clueless white kids (they are literally all white) trying to be ironic and, unironically, failing
"Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros": Trying too hard
The Deck of Many Things: I've always loved this on many levels.  More recently, I've been postulating that the Donjon card is the origin of the strangely titled "Dejon" spell in Final Fantasy (usually localized as "Warp" or "X-Zone").
Tarot: Similarly, there's a lot of neat, involved symbolism here.  I have to admit though that the best Tarot is this one -- http://www.benjaminmackey.com/magicianlongstoseetarot
ELIZA: How this has stuck around as long as it has is beyond me
Your favourite anime: Thumbs up

 

Cor Blok's Tolkien art: I was pleasantly surprised by this.  There were a few that I really liked
Pelicans: The Pelican is the symbol of a particularly venerable British college into whose gardens I was once locked in overnight.  It's a good story.  I don't find the widespread religious symbolism that interesting, though
Flamingos: Like two flamingos in a fruit fight -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4j_yeXgz_0
Ravens: I'm down with these liminal psychopomps
Roguelikes: There's considerable variation here, but ultimately, this is a good genre
The Big Lebowski: Fine, but overrated
Mechanical pencils: You'd think someone would have improved this design by now
AOL: OnlineHost : SpidWeb rolled 2 6-sided dice: 2 5
Smartphones: ...I wish I didn't appreciate these as much as I do
Homestar Runner: Not Strong Bad
Bagels: Mmmf mmnf.
Donuts: Potentially great but so many are just so overdone with sugar.
Beowulf: Not as interesting as other epic heroes
Robin Hood: Ruined by Hollywood, if there was ever anything there to begin with
King Arthur: Somehow not ruined
Queen (Band): Never been able to appreciate them
Louis Armstrong: I find him less exciting than many of the other jazz giants

 

salt lamps: What's that smell -- is it an oncoming pseudoscience postravaganza?
Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote: I'm a sucker for Borges.  This piece has so much to it

 

Nick Cave: There's a lot of things about him that I appreciate, but his music somehow takes itself a little bit too seriously for me
Spirited Away: A favourite, period
Jiji (the fictional one): A favourite instance of a favourite archetype
Jiji (the one on my lap): So many things I want to say here, Nikki.  So many things
Getting a triple word score in Scrabble: Good, except it means you are playing Scrabble, which is bad
Princess Peach: Mixed feelings.  On the one hand she is a truly enduring damsel-in-distress.  On the other hand, some of her appearances are actually pretty good.  And there's always the original Super Princess Peach -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmjMBhp8Nrw -- besides which I strongly prefer "Toadstool" as a name

 

Barbarossa: I don't know enough to have strong opinions about these, and I roll my eyes at the last one, but I do still give you points for "Checkmate, Hohenstaufens"

 

 

Dogs

Chrono Trigger

Cyberpunk

Bilbo Baggins

Cait Sith

Pet Sounds

"Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote"

Spirited Away

Exile II: Crystal Souls

Nethergate

Slartibartfast

Kierkegaard

The Tarot Deck

The Deck of Many Things

Bossa nova

Disco

Jiji (character)

File compression

Sliced bread

Bagels

Your favourite anime

Ducks

Prossis-Bok

Working out

Sea slugs

Ninjas

Jiji (in Nikki's lap)

Ice cream

The Northern Lights

Russian literature
70's cars

Georg Cantor

—Alorael

C++

Good grammar

Cor Blok's Tolkien art

Bacon

Henry Wallace

OK Computer

Speedy Gonzales screenshot

Sans serif fonts

Saunas

Linux

Vinyl records

The aesthetic qualities of the Greek alphabet

Maggie Simpson

The Queen is Dead

Shanti

Schuyler Colfax

Roguelikes

Lady Gaga

Lawsuits

Jeff Vogel

Ravens

Smartphones

The Evil Overlord List

Exile III: Ruined World

The last game I played

Bartenders

Sock puppets

Flamingos

Penguins

Civilization

Frodo Baggins

Ontology

Cluny the Scourge

Pelicans

BitTorrent

Nevermind

Mexican food

70's prog

Sliths

Avernum II: Crystal Souls

Slarty Ranks Everything

"...Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades..."

The Cranberries (band)

Donuts

Cats

Trombones

The Muppets

The Eiffel Tower

Solidarność screenshot

Civ II

Revolutions

Casablanca

Avadon series

Goldfish (snack)

Gilbert Gottfried

Football (American)

Nephils

Princess Peach

Avernum 4

Cinnamon rolls

Aretha Franklin

Homestar Runner

They Might Be Giants

Tennis

Posting games

Inspector Peanut

Subinfeudation

The Big Lebowski

Nelson Rockefeller

Goldfish (fish)

King Arthur

The aesthetic qualities of the Hebrew alphabet

Richard Cheese

Bark spider

Dolphins

Metahumor

Nixon's foreign policy

Sparkling water

Grant Wood

Paprika

Norman Rockwell

Nick Cave

"This is a Trent Reznor Song"

Spam (meat)

Cabaret (film)

Peanuts

Xian Skull (item)

Spam (e-mails)

Pineapple pizza

The LP rendition of Slarty's voice

Vitamin C supplements

70's movies

"Lackadaisical"

Puggsy

Louis Armstrong

The aesthetic qualities of hierogylphics

Russian

Beowulf (character)

Angry Birds

Alf screenshot

Today's weather

Phantom stair step (bottom)

Word Rescue

Minecraft

Mechanical pencils

Vultures

The post that asks me to rank itself

KISS (principle)

Salty liquorice

Galactic Core

Gilmore Girls

Hockey

George Clooney

Getting a triple word score in Scrabble

Phantom stair step (top)

Turkey/cat video

Dieselpunk

AOL

Hipgnosis

Salt lamps

Bertrand Russell

My Little Pony

80's fashion

The War on Drugs (band)

Queen (band)

Fifty Shades of Grey

Jane Austen books

The Let's Play series

Runtz

Basketball

Baseball

"Acceptable in the 80's" (song)

Cats (musical)

Pirates

"Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros" (song)

Soccer

Robin Hood (character)

Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Thomas the Tank Engine

Freefall (webcomic)

"2500 things Mr. Welch..."

Novelty mugs

ELIZA

Kitten/rat box

John Calhoun (politician)

Mr. Toad of Toad Hall

The Xavier Files

BGG Top 10

Johnny Cash

Sock puppets (fake accounts)

KISS

The Barber Paradox

Elfpunk

Wings (the band)

Steampunk

Turnips

Fictional names that use a lot of apostrophes

Twilight Saga

Anchovy pizza

"Stuff from the 90's!" (song)

The Olympics

The Crusades

King Leopold

Handlebar mustaches

Birthdays

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My take on "Stuff from the 90s" is that it's mostly a parody of those "only 90s kids remember..." social media posts that invariably revolve around touchstones of consumerism. Other generations get VE-Day, or the moon landing, or the fall of the Berlin Wall, we get... stuff. Hence the repeated "stuff, stuff, let's name stuff".

 

The other aspect (and this might be more of a stretch) is that 90s kids, having been children during that decade, tend to view it as being peaceful overall. In particular, I find that the younger half of millennials seem to view 9/11 as the original sin, the opening of Pandora's box that let all the evils into our post-Cold War paradise. I guess it's the same way older generations view the 50s as this idyllic era.

 

I dunno. I like it, though what I liked most about it was the groans it induced every time it popped up on Calref chat.

 

Also, the high ranking you gave The Ruiner of Campaigns makes me think you've never played with it before.

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