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Redbeard teaches Gymnastics to Dictator


Valdain the King

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You see I was thinking about some of my favorite dictators and oh you know Redbeard is one of them. I look toward North Korea one of the things that I noticed is that the dictator Kim Jon Un is horribly overweight. How do we correct this-

 

1-Redbeard bellows a barbarian roar and teaches the battle roar to the simple kid. This will allow him to achieve fellow feats of strength and endurance which were originally and not likely possible.

 

2-Jon Un then learns how to shadow step like in game, this will increase his speed and movement rate. This is obvious as a slow character wont last long.

 

3-Finally, he teaches the stink palm from mall rats to Jon Un. Why you ask? Because the stink palm he can use on any enemy that makes fat jokes about him.

 

So that my friend is how you teach a dictator gymnastics. Kim Jon Un has a long way to go to becoming Redbeard's apprentice and hanging around Dennis Rodman will only weaken his intelligence. Vitamin water is also a good first step as well as putting your points into dexterity and endurance.

 

Does anyone have any ideas from Avadon that might enhance Kim Jon Un's survival? To be honest I am wishing this was Avernum as he could just add a few points into luck. That might help him survive for a little. You can win at everything.

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Unfortunately he can only use 5 Korean citizens as party members at any given time. He also has to single-handedly micro-manage all their stats and gear. Someone should teach him that one dictator and 5 armed peasants isn't a good party though. Need at least one thief (for traps and lock-picking), and one healer. Some people are partial to Rangerss as their healers but I've always enjoyed Cleric's. Slap some heavy armor on that cleric and you're healer is one of the tankier member of your party. I'm going to go play Icewind Dale now.

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If he got to use the entirety of North Korea's military as his party members, I think he'd do quite well, gymnastics or no.

 

Well actually, Kim Jon Un already has some abilities from Avadon although he doesn't know it yet. The Korean dictator has just recently learned group heal from the reparations that were developed from meeting with Dennis Rodman. Because Rodman opened up the 'work together' side of him, healing touch and group heal would be a nice addition to an already versatile arsenal. And watching all that basketball is a clear way to gaining Missile weapons experience too. Quite deadly indeed.

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