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Slarti

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Mistb0rn, having never actually surrendered sanity due to an extremely low-profile entirety of existence, takes one glance at the improbable bus somehow inhabiting multiple locations and dimensions simultaneously, and turns to leave.

However, the lure of improving her lackluster postcount at the expense of little effort and without the need for quality content is too strong to resist, so she turns back and cautiously steps inside.

 

Mistb0rn: "Dikiyoba? Ephesos? Any writers in here--gah!"

 

She dodges as a pie flies overhead, then turns to see who threw it.

 

Mistb0rn: "Oh, look. Oldbies I've seen around but never really met and newbies who... Er, I'll just be...over here in the corner..."

 

Between grenade-launchers and swords, (not to mention what seems to be a sparkling...thing of some kind,) she concludes that nothing would be conspicuous here. She jumps and surgebinds herself to the ceiling in one corner of the bus, falling upward past the chaos below (above?). She infuses the nearest windowframe with a reverse lashing to protect herself from any other thrown objects, then sits down with her laptop, brings up "Crystal Song", and begins re-reading it.

 

Mistb0rn: "I'd completely forgotten about this until this morning. Oh, and if anyone knows of anywhere to find more books in this series, I'm interested."

 

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Actaeon has been trying in vain to clean the pie off of his laptop. Finally, he gives up, hands it back to BMA, and pulls out a portable Smith-Corona typewriter.

 

BMA: For me?

 

Actaeon: For now. It has all of Jeff's games on it, plut Portal if you get really desperate. Slarty, I'm beginning to suspect this thing CAN'T go back in time at all.

 

He turns to the CalRef crowd.

 

Actaeon: Does anyone have any paper?

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The big man looks at Mistb0rn, sure he has seen her before, but is not quite sure where. Shrugging, he happily embarks on a game of portal. He has heard a lot about its cakes being lies, or some such ridiculousness and has always wanted to try it out.

 

Suddenly, he looks up from his game.

 

Big Man (To The Ratt) : What is guacamole?

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Dintiradan closes his laptop and walks to the front of the bus, mouth agape. He points a finger at his clone.

 

Dintiradan: Wait. You... you're canon? This changes everything.

 

He attempts to wrest control of the bus away from Slarty.

 

Dintiradan: Okay, so first off, we're going to get Teh Deth Ray out of cold storage. Set a course for-

 

At this point, Dintiradan realizes that everyone else on the bus is looking at him coldly, and half of them are brandishing weapons.

 

Dintirdan: ... Maybe later? Later, then. Okay.

 

He returns to the seat. Once everyone's attention has drifted again (it won't take long), he leans over and whispers to 'Drakefyre'.

 

Dintiradan: Check the secret compartment at the bottom. Everyone should be there. TGM made extra ones of Lazarus Slack just for you.

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Slarty pulls over by the side of the road, then turns around to address the passengers.

 

Slarty: Look, folks. This is a community outing. We all control where the bus goes. It isn't just me. But we have to respect each other.

 

Dintiradan glares at Slarty.

 

Slarty: No, we really HAVE to. The retrioactivity engine runs on community and respect. We literally won't get anywhere if this becomes a power struggle. Instead of taking over, take up your own rightful and plenipotent place in the community!

 

Rosycat: Plus, I just cleaned the bus, so if you get blood everywhere, you will moove me to anger.

 

Rosycat dances lithely around the bus poles, going down the aisle, letting her tail curl around Dintiradan as she passes him by. Slarty pulls back onto the road as the bus hurtles towards its next destination.

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Big Man(To The Ratt): Why, yes, thank you.

 

The big man takes the guacamole and mixes it with his own traditional dosas. He smiles at his cleverness in having created a cross-country dish. He has no idea where they are going either, but he doesn't mind. Slarty had said something about going back in time, but the big man is not sure of how far back they are time-travelling. Maybe he will get to see the dinosaurs.

 

Munching happily, he returns to his game.

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From the seat behind, some sort of ceramic vessel shatters on Goldenking's head and pours hot liquid all over him. Goldenking yelps, but the coffee has at least washed away some of the ashes that were covering him. Finding a towel inexplicably next to his seat, he washes the rest of the ashes and coffee off of him, and then notices Iffy behind him.

 

Hello, Iffy. Was that your coffee? Where are we?

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Finding it entirely too noisy to get any more sleep, Lt. Sullust quickly walks to the front of the bus to speak with the driver. He notices a couple familiar faces; but the vast majority are new to him. Not paying too much attention, Lt. Sullust slips in a slush of whoopie pie and coffee that seems to have covered the floor. There is a sickening thud as his head impacts the floor.
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Iffy looks up towards Goldenking.

 

Iffy: Oh, sorry about that. We're on the Spiderweb bus. Look around. Everyone's getting on. Well, minus a few people who are still missing. I suggest familiarizing yourself with the handy nearby gas masks, just in case.

 

Iffy then proceeds to reach into the 5th pocket of his backpack. A few people around look towards him with odd expressions as they see the backpack stretch far more than it should to the appearance of an...oven? He proceeds to pull out a pan with delicious smelling goods.

 

Iffy: Who would like some freshly backed cupcakes?

 

The newbies look towards Iffy with glee. The oldbies conversely looked at him with expressions of horror. Iffy chuckles a bit.

 

Iffy: Cupcakes. I said cupcakes. Far different from muffins. Besides, I let that go years and years ago. No obsessions and no attempts at baked good demon summoning here. Cupcakes are far more delicious, anyways.

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Excalibur sits up abruptly. He's not particularly startled by the sudden change in location, because topic drift in a Spiderweb bus is expected. He quietly brandishes the brightly gleaming Excalibur and begins sharpening it, which is rather silly considering it's a magical sword. Satisfied, he pulls out a highly pressurized bottle of peppermint schnapps.

 

Excalibur: Schnapps anybody?

 

He sees Tyranicus' dead body and squirms.

 

Excalibur: Wait, what? We're not having another death match...are we?

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Actaeon: Some people like cupcakes exclusively, while I myself say there is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the face of God's grey earth as that prince of foods: The Muffin!

 

The bottom part of his goatee fades for a moment, leaving a long haired, soul patched apparition staring at Iffy with wild eyes. Then, the moment is gone, and Actaeon resumes staring out the window.

 

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Arancaytar has so far been completely engrossed with his delicately chirping gadget, furiously typing and muttering about something called regechses. Or something like that. Finally satisfied with the device's operation, he looks up again and stares at the newcomers. Most of them are faces, old and new, that he is well-familiar with, seeing them on the forum every day. His memory of others is hazy, and seeing them triggers waves of nostalgia.

 

And yet others are almost strangers, and yet seem to be oldbies themselves, having arrived during his own long absence. This drives home how many years have passed, and is faintly dizzying. One of these is using a computer, and over her shoulder Arancaytar notices a site he has not seen in a very long time...

 

Originally Posted By: Mistb0rn
"I'd completely forgotten about this until this morning. Oh, and if anyone knows of anywhere to find more books in this series, I'm interested."

 

Arancaytar is momentarily flummoxed. "You... you want to read more of that?" he bursts out.

 

Recovering somewhat, he explains that the series sadly exists in name only so far, and even its only book was never quite completed yet, despite several runs at a new version.

 

Originally Posted By: MMXPERT
I propose that the bus stops at the restaurant located in the end of the universe.

 

Arancaytar: I could go for some food too. I've heard great things about Milliways. Will have heard. Willan pre-havening post-heard.

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Roentgenium wakes up from his nap and pulls a laptop out of a large pocket that suddenly appears in his suit.

 

Roentgenium: *to himself* Dimensional pockets sure are handy. Now where is that folder...

 

After a few seconds, he manages to find the folder he stores his games in. He double clicks on the Age of Castles icon.

 

Roentgenium: With any luck, my digital medieval community should help speed up this bus. It probably won't do anything, of course, but it should at least pass the time.

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Originally Posted By: Mistb0rn

she


Man, I miss when we all made a big deal over somebody we thought was male came out and said she was female. So, for old times sake, !!!.

---

Drakefyre: Why would anybody want to be that knave?

James rummages around in the bottom of the box, looking for secret compartments. As Rosycat passes, he offers a winning smile.

Drakefyre: So when do we get to Olgai?
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Originally Posted By: Actaeon
Actaeon: Mr. Slarty, sir? What if we don't have a set place? Some of us- he looks at the younger members- don't really know what our role is yet. Is this a voyage of discovery, too, or...?

Slarty: It may prove to be one. But it is my belief that there is a worthy place, here, for everyone who desires one! Speaking of which, we've reached our next destination.

The Spiderbus has been travelling along a freeway in the middle of an expanse of desert. The bus slows to a halt alongside an elegant stone building that stands alone amid the sands. There is a well next to the building that looks to be in good repair, and a neon sign above the door that flashes as it declares: Mongolian Barbeque. Slarty pushes a button and the doors of the Spiderbus whooshed open again.

Slarty: I ordered some take-out for everyone on the bus! There's even something for poor Tyranicus. Would a few of you mind going inside to pick up the order?
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Quote:
Man, I miss when we all made a big deal over somebody we thought was male came out and said she was female. So, for old times sake, !!!.
Mistb0rn appears slightly uncomfortable at being the focus of so much attention, but supposes that perhaps insinuating herself so blatantly into the community should be expected to create some reaction.

Originally Posted By: Arancaytar
"You... you want to read more of that?"
Noticing when he speaks that Arancaytar has somehow gotten behind her, she turns and smiles at his comment.
Mistb0rn: "Ah, nice to meet you! I know it's ancient history, but I did enjoy reading it." She laughs lightly. "I'd probably react the same way if someone claimed to like something I wrote. But I'm sure you've long since moved on to more important things. You do some sort of computer programming now, right?"

She suddenly frowns and pulls a medium-large fish from her robe. She stares at it contemplatively a few moments, as though unsure of its origin or purpose. After examining it thoroughly, she finally shrugs and offers it to Dikiyoba.
Mistb0rn: "The only thing that comes to mind when I look at this is to write a magic-system involving fish-scale powder. Or the urge to throw it randomly at that other group of people near the front. I'm afraid if I stare at it too long, I may end up doing just that. Do you want it?"
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Originally Posted By: Mistborn
"The only thing that comes to mind when I look at this is to write a magic-system involving fish-scale powder. Or the urge to throw it randomly at that other group of people near the front. I'm afraid if I stare at it too long, I may end up doing just that. Do you want it?"

"Well, you did ask if there were any writers h--is that a lamppost carp?" I pull out my guidebook to North American fish and eagerly flip through it. "Oh, wait, no. It's just an ordinary koi. You can keep it. Or throw it at someone."

Originally Posted By: Slartucker
I ordered some take-out for everyone on the bus!"

Dikiyoba is a bit upset and whiney. "Take-out? Who gets take-out at a Mongolian Barbeque (besides us, apparently)? Going inside is half the fun!"
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Big Man(To Actaeon and Excalibur) : Just yell if you need a hand!

 

The big man goes over to Iffy and takes a couple of cupcakes. Returning to his seat, he trips over Lt. Sullust, who is lying on the floor. Cursing mildly, he picks himself up and limps over to the flaming golem.

 

Big Man: Have a cupcake, Roentgenium ?

 

He watches Roentgenium play Age of Castles.

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Originally Posted By: *Bus halts, doors open.*

Man, I miss when we all made a big deal over somebody we thought was male came out and said she was

female. So, for old times sake, !!!.


Really? You didn't know? I'm sure she's stated so a long time ago.
-----

Jewels finds it difficult to concentrate on anything as it seems twenty different conversations are going on at once around her. As long as they're stopped anyway she decides to put her homework away and mingle.

Jewels: Suppose I don't have to be so anti-social.

Jewels gets up and makes her rounds but first trips over a body lying in the walkway.

Jewels: Lt. Sullust! Oh my...

Jewels checks his pulse and notices a line of blood running along the floor board at his head. Noting that he is still alive she quietly mutters a quick healing spell and hopes no one was watching. They all seem to be more intent in getting the food that they stopped for anyway.

Jewels: You alright?

Lt. Sullust nods.

Lt. Sullust: I didn't know you could do that...

Jewels: Shh! Learned it at CalRef... learned a lot of things at CalRef. One of the perks of administration; you can write your own cannon. But I'd rather not have everyone knowing about it, k? I'm sure Slarty already thinks my head is big enough as it is. Now be careful where you're walking... Spiderwebbers... together? It's an inevidably dangerous place to be. *huggles* Glad to have you along for the ride.

With Lt. Sullust properly tended to Jewels proceeds to the rest of the passengers.

Jewels: Slarty! *huggles* it's been too long, really. Remember back when we... you know, and then all those other things and... oh, good times weren't they? So many good times...

Rosycat! *huggles* Haven't seen you in forever... well, a few years... well, except for me passing you on the bus when I got on and stuff. Thanks for the memory chips. They're delicious.

Dinti! *huggles* I know we're putting the whole 'take over the world thing' on hold for the trip but... <.<...>.> *whispers* I got your back when we get back if you know what I mean. *wink, wink*

Drakey! *huggles* Hey... watch the hand kid. Ahem. So... Uh, nice to see you again and all. Been, what, since the deathmatch or so? Yeah, so... maybe we can catch up later... or, you know, whatever.

The Ratt! *huggles* Been keeping yourself out of trouble? I suspect you must have since I haven't seen you at the Refuge for a while. wink

Aran! *huggles* Hey, thanks again for the bot blueprints you sent Sylae a while back. They have been such a help with knowing what to do and, you know, what not to do.

Roentgenium! *Jewels hesitates* I... I'd give you a huggle but... you know... you're on fire and stuff. Not that I have anything against fire but the confines of the bus are a little bit restrictive. Maybe I'll catch you another time... If Slarty lets me...We'll see. You look familiar but... I can't quite place the name. Must just be my faulty memory. I sure hope this trip can help with that.

Goldenking! *huggles* Oh... gee, you're wet. Can I get you a towel? Maybe a new shirt? I might have something in my bag. I'll see what I can find.

Dikiyoba! *hesitates for a second then snatches a quick sidehuggles from the seemingly irate dikiyora* Glad to see you brought your camera along. This trip down memory lane will be that much easier to remember if we can get some retroactive pictures of it.

Trenton! Don't believe I've had the pleasure. *huggles* Woah... your skin is so cold... you're not coming down with something are you? You should see if this Mongolian Barbeque has chicken soup. Might do you some good... put some color back into your cheeks.

BigMan! *huggles* Have we met before? Don't think I said thanks for the pie even though I didn't eat it. Doctor's orders... well, suggestion... well, he would have said it if I ever went in to see him, I know it. But maybe you should ask people if they want them rather than just throwing them all around. You're making a mess... and don't get me started on how much I dislike messes. Now take this mop and bucket (which aparrently appear out of the thin air from behind her back) and clean up the pie Lt. Sullust just slipped up on.

Jewels walks on but trips over BigMan's bag. She yelps as her knees hit the floor. Her frustration is clear as she looks back up at BigMan.

Jewels: But maybe first you can stow your bag a little better?

Sylae! *huggles* Keep my seat open. I'll be back in a few more minutes.

Iffy! *huggles* 'Ello. *whispers* I'll have one of those cupcakes... but not yet. Save one for me.

Vergil! *huggles* Or do you want to be called Xelgion here? I have such trouble pronouncing that name... Anyway, nice to see you'll be joining us on the trip. At least now I know it won't be boring.

BJ! *huggles* Hey, welcome to the Spiderbus, I don't think we've met. I'm Jewels. ... Nice longsword! Where'd you get it? Looks expensive... can I hold it? No? Later, maybe? K? K, later. smile

Mysterious Man! *huggles and smells alcohol* Now MM... You do realize this is a family friendly trip, right? I mean Slarty's going to be inducing enough hallucinations with all his shenanigans that you don't need to add any other chemical reactions to further impair your perceptions.

Mistb0rn! *Jewels attempts to huggles but the odd angle makes it difficult* Hey Mistb0rn... how's it hanging?

MMXPERT! *huggles* Hi. Do I know you? I've been off on sabatical for quite a while. I can barely remember my own password anymore, but maybe we can chat a bit--

Jewels' sentence is interrupted with the smell of food and she heads towards the front of the bus again.

Jewels: Excalibur! *makes sure the pointy end of his sword is safely away then huggles* Lookin' sharp man. That smells great!

Actaeon! *huggles* Hey, mate! You do me a favor and keep an eye on this guy up here for me, eh? *points a finger at Slarty* I'll take some of those lamb chops off your hands, too. Mmm...

Jewels goes back to her seat satisfied that she has been proactive in the friendship process and looking forwards to her stomach being satisfied, too.
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BJ, who had sat down a long time ago and had been furiously scribbling in a notebook the whole time, looks up.

 

BJ: "Did someone say they needed paper?"

 

He waves his hands about in an attempt to conjure up some writing materials. Suddenly, the bus is filled with flying sheets of printing paper.

 

BJ: "Um, oops. Sorry, that can happen sometimes."

 

He then closes his notebook, stands up, dodges a pie, and steps out of the bus. He enters the Mongolian BBQ and helps to grab takeout.

 

BJ: "Mmmm. I hope they made this spicy enough for me. I can't stand it when restaurants are wimpy about the hot stuff."

 

Jewels hugs BJ. BJ looks a little uncomfortable about this, but hugs back anyway.

 

BJ: "Hey Jewels. I've seen you around, but I don't think we've had the pleasure of meeting."

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Originally Posted By: Jewels in Black
One of the perks of administration; you can write your own cannon.


(Kabooom! laugh )

Aran is briefly surprised by the sudden outburst of hugs, but it's nice.

"Er, yes. I'm studying it. Haven't taken much time to do anything else in a few years, really; also the reason I've been absent this long."
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Actaeon takes Jewels hug in stride, extricates himself, grabs a few loose sheets of paper out of the air, and makes for the door along with Excalibur.

 

Actaeon: Do you have any money?

 

Excalibur: Of course. What kind of imbecil would go on a trip without any money?

 

Actaeon: Um... no one. Obviously.

 

He fiddles with the assortment of coins in his pocket, hoping that this establishment accepts JFK half dollars and Loonies. As they approach the big double doors, he falls behind and lets Excalibur enter first.

 

I'm off to bed. If y'all are expecting your meals before 9am MDT, someone else will have to expand my meager canon.

 

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Actaeon and Excalibur walk into the Mongolian Barbeque, followed shortly by BJ and MMXPERT. Dikiyoba watches them go in from her Dikiyoba's window while dodging huggles and Nephilim tails.

 

Inside, they find themselves in an enormous banquet hall -- much larger than would have fit in the building they saw from the outside. The hall is filled with all sorts of people sitting and eating and laughing. When they try to look at the people, though, they find that their gaze shifts unwillingly around the room, so they can't really look at any of the diners, no matter how hard they try.

 

After a minute they are approached by two strange-looking men in chef's uniforms. One of them is wearing a straitjacket. The other one appears to be a muppet.

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

 

Straitjacket Chef: He says he'd like to welcome you to the Mongolian Barbecue.

 

MXXPERT: Hi, we'd like to order some pizza.

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

 

Straitjacket Chef: He says that he knows, and don't worry, your entire order is ready, including the shish kabobs, the juicy steak, the lamb chops, the only slightly weird meat, the small exploding melon, the picnic lunches, and yes, the busload of large pizzas!

 

The Muppet Chef hands each of the four passengers an enormous easter basket overflowing with delicious barbecued goods and wrapped in cellophane. MMXPERT's contains a tall stack of pizzas fresh from the oven.

 

Actaeon: Wow... thanks. What do we owe you?

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

 

Straitjacket Chef: He says that Slarty arranged to have already paid us, so don't worry about it. Now you'd best go back to your bus before the food gets cold!

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

 

The Muppet Chef runs out of the room, then returns carrying a small white doggie bag, and places it in Excalibur's back pocket.

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

 

Straitjacket Chef: He says he almost forgot -- that bag is for the celtic warrior. Now hurry back!

 

The four passengers thank the strange chefs and walk back to the bus carrying the divine barbecue feast in their hands. After they leave, the strange chefs exchange glances.

 

Straitjacket Chef: That was a close one. Dikiyoba almost came in. She Dikiyoba would surely have recognized me if she Dikiyoba had.

 

Muppet Chef: Bork bork bork!

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The big man scowls when Jewels accuses him of having made a mess, but nevertheless gallantly helps her back onto her feet when she trips over his bag. Jewels smiles and looks at the big man gratefully.

 

Big Man: No, no, don't thank me, Jewels. It was my fault, after all. Careless of me. He kicks his bag back under the seat.

 

Overcome by the hugging all around, the big man wants to socialize too. He puts on his charming smile and lumbers over to each of the Spiderwebbers. He doesn't hug (it's a girly thing) but he shakes hands warmly and enquires after their health.

 

Big Man(To Lt. Sullust): Oh Lt. Sullust, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize it was my pie that you slipped upon. I hope you're feeling better now.

 

He compliments Dikiyoba on her Dikiyoba's stories. He rubs noses with MMXPERT (they're old friends) and asks how the role-playing is coming along. He winks at Vergil. They haven't met, but he has heard a lot about his exploits. He goes to where Van Helsing is hiding.

 

Big Man(Loudly, to Van Helsing): Don't worry, Nightwatcher. I haven't told anyone about our little secret. The Refuge doesn't know about it either. *winks pointedly*

 

Satisfied, the big man happily grabs an exploding melon (he's a vegetarian) from Excalibur and continues watching the Age of Castles.

 

 

 

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OOC:

 

I just want to say thanks to everyone who's participating, as well as to those who may join in later. This is the warmest start I've seen a forum RP (i.e., non-aimhack) have in years. You guys are wonderful. And that's gotten me thinking...

 

Click to reveal.. (Slarty's thoughts)
Assuming the bus trip is completed successfully, I think I can promise that its end will trigger, concatenatedly, the 333rd Name, the end of Project Slartificus, the arrival of Retrioactivity, the True Meaning of Spam, and perhaps even a holiday... or two.
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Actaeon: All right ladies and gents everyone, we come bearing gifts! If you ordered something special, talk to Excalibur. The rest of you, dig in. The over 21 crowd... they offered me something called Airag but it didn't look palatable. So either distill your own or run in and buy some Sake.

 

The moment everyone is on board, the bus begins to pull away.

 

Actaeon: Too late.

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Roentgenium grabs an exploding watermelon and pulls a knife and some gunpowder out of his dimensional pocket. He slowly shoves his knife into the watermelon until it reaches the center, then sprinkles gunpowder in the center.

 

Roentgenium: A fruit explosion and an actual explosion, all in one! This should be helpful if we get into a fight in one of these memories - maybe we'll revisit the Attorosi war of old.

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Having been unconscious while the meal was being ordered, Lt. Sullust didn't get the chance to order something specific for himself. Looking around, he notices Roentgenium pouring what appears to be gunpowder into a watermelon.

 

Lt. Sullust: Should you be doing that?

Roentgenium: Doing what?

Lt. Sullust: Handling gunpowder. You seem to be--well I'm sure you're aware that you are on fire.

Roentgenium: Trust me this is perfe--

 

The melon promptly explodes filling the entire bus with a fine pink mist. Those closest to the blast are also covered by a layer of soot.

 

Lt. Sullust: Well, I guess I'll just leave you to it.

 

Lt. Sullust immediately heads back to his seat to get a couple Tums (careful to avoid slipping on the melon juice now all over the floor.) He wonders if they'll still be of use after all this time.

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Iffy pulls out a wash cloth and wipes the melon juice off and then grabs a pizza box for himself. He continues to design his scenario on his laptop as he eats.

 

Iffy: Wait a minute. That can't be right...

 

Code:
beginconsumption 14;if (get_pizza(2,13) == 0) {pizza_dialog("This is some pretty good pizza. Mmm.","");activate_hidden_pizza(2);set_cheese(2,13,1); }break;

 

Iffy: Perhaps I shouldn't eat while designing.

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BJ happily hands out food to those who want it after hiding a pizza under one of the seats. The Easter basket he's holding is quickly emptied, and he's happy he had the foresight to stash some food for himself. He then grab his pizza and takes the seat behind Jewels and Sylae, only to become covered in soot and watermelon.

 

BJ: "Ah, man. Wha'd ya have to go and do that for? I just got this cloak dry-cleaned, too."

 

He sulks for a bit before having an idea.

 

BJ: "I wonder if I could justify a shower as a 'writing material' by saying I can't write while covered in soot. Eh, worth a shot, though I think I'll just settle for a wet towel."

 

BJ attempts to conjure a towel. Instead of a towel materializing, a dark cloud appears above him and starts to rain. BJ looks around at the soaked, and rather annoyed, Spiderwebbers that surround him.

 

BJ: "My bad."

 

BJ conjures an empty binder and uses it to keep the rain off of him.

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Actaeon returns to his seat and feeds a sheet of paper into his typewriter. As he clicks away, BMA reads aloud over his shoulder.

 

BMA: Day One: I have found myself on a strange trip, in a strange vehicle, surrounded by strange people. Some of them, I know. Others are new to me, and seem intent on creating chaos. The ground is covered in food of all varieties, and I fear my recent jaunt to procure provisions will only add to the mess. Every mile or so there is another explosion, and though we have so far fared well, it is only a matter of time before someone (other than Tyran, of course) gets badly hurt. We lack, to the best of my knowledge, a competent healer. Nevertheless, I am interested to see where this voyage takes us. I will find my role eventually. Perhaps I can unify these two disparate groups. Perhaps I can teach people that it's rude to read what other people write. Perhaps...

 

Actaeon turns and glares at BMA. Then, he rolls up the paper and inserts it into a glass bottle, which he chucks out the window. A resounding splash reveals the bus to be traveling over water.

 

Sylae: No littering on the Spiderbus!

 

Actaeon: Relax. The bottle's enchanted. It'll get where it needs to go.

 

 

Edit: Incidentally, if anyone feels like marking their party bus location, I put up a google doc here for that purpose. It's not, strictly speaking, canon, but it might help keep track of the people, bodies, and path of explosions. Be creative.

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*MMXPERT notices that there's melon bits all over his pizza, ALL THE BETTER!*

 

*MMXPERT continues eating his pizza in a hasty, yet polite fashion*

 

*MMXPERT offers the pizza to everyone in the buss*

 

*meanwhile the balloons shoot out balloons that fill the entire bus with streamers, not harming any food though*

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Excalibur saunters back into the bus. So much sauntering! He pulls out the doggie back from his back pocket and eagerly opens it. Some blue motes of light fly out along with a strange blue turtle shell. It flies out the window and hurtles down the highway at an absurd speed. Inside the bag he finds some yak steak and several glasses of yak milk.

 

Caledfwlch: Anyone want some yak?

 

Iffy: Hey, what happened to your PDN?

 

Caledfwlch: What do you mea...oh I see.

 

He notices the blue motes of light doing a polka around his head. They do a conga line over to Actaeon. His typeset suddenly changes to Dvorak, then to German, then wingdings...what? It changes back to qwerty as they shuffle over to Iffy. His cupcakes suddenly burst into flames, but revert back to cupcakes as they move to their next victim.

 

Excalfwlch: Well that was weird....Hey!

 

One the motes of light continues to bounce around his head. Another mote rushes back and escorts it to the others.

 

Excalibur: Whew!

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