Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 29, 2012 Share Posted July 29, 2012 Hey there, Randomizer, I like the new signature. It Pervectly reflects well on your Aahztonishing ability to navigate through a multitude of Demontions. Just keep a tight grip on your D-Hopper, or your apprentice may Skeeve a step and leave you stranded in a Bazaar situation. Give Guido and Luigi my regards. For those people wondering what I said, I prescribe you take 2 R.L. Aspirins and post me in the morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Harehunter goes to market. One fair morning a fair time ago, the Harehunter walked into his kitchen to break his fast. However, when he opened his hutch for his breakfast salad, he was surprised to discover that it was gone! Then he remembered that he had had a hankering for a snack the night before, and had finished it off. "Well," he said to himself, "Self, if we want any lettuce leaf for breakfast then let us leave now to pick some." and he headed out the door. It was spring and the previous nights shower had washed the March air crisp and clean. A marching tune popped into the Harehunter's head, and as he sang the lyrics, the rhythm went straight to his feet. As he approached a Random Factor, the Factor remarked, "Look at the March Hare marching in the March air, singing a marching aire." Further down the road, Harehunter passed by a bypass that was full of passers-by who were passing their good byes to each other. Finally, the Harehunter saw the tents of the bazaar. In the first tent, the tennant was peering intently at a monkey's paw. The monkey's son piped up, "Why are you staring at my pa's paw?" The seer said "Surely you can see I am seeking to see his future." "You're nothing more than a charlatan. And don't call me Shirley." The younger monkey tugged at his pa's elbow. "Come on pa. You don't want to be this seer's sucker. It doesn't suit you." As the pair of monkees barreled down the road, Harehunter thought to himself, "This bazaar is quite bizarre." A few tents down he passed a pair of prickly porcupines peeling a rather appealing fruit. When the Harehunter paused, one of the porcupines proffered a bowl containing two of the peeled fruits. "Would you like to purchase a pair of pared pears, please?" But the Harehunter spied a few spines in the bowl with the pears. "No, I think I'll pass. Those pears are too prickly for me." Further down, he came upon a tent that had a sign over the door. "Flea Market?" he read. "Who would want to buy fleas?" The shop owner, a ram, charged up and replied "That is what you get when you try buy a bargain basement bazaar banner. It was supposed to read 'Fleece Market'. "Is there anything I can do for ewe?" The Harehunter jumped and skipped back a hop. "No, I'm fine" he said." The ram pointed at the Harehunter and said, "Not you." then pointed behiind him. "May I help ewe, madame?" Sheepishly, the Harehunter stepped out of the ewe's way, and continued down the street. Finally, Harehunter arrived at the shop he was looking for, a perveyor of fine soups and salads. "Welcome to Souper Salads. How may we serve you?" Harehunter recognized the proprietor as a native of a place called Perv, where it's residents called themselves ... "Pervects." interrupted the proprietor. "Yes. I was going to say that." finished the Harehunter. "Also I would prefer not to be served in any fashion." Harehunter said as he stared at the toothy grin of the ... "Pervect. Call me Aahhz." Harehunter shook paws with ... "Aahhz. And, no I didn't mean that we would serve You, just that we would Serve you. We have a fine Rhine wine from the best vines." "I haven't tasted wine for a long time because I don' want to end up like Uncle Herman Hasenpfeffer." "What happened to him, if I may inquire?" "He drank too much wine and got himself thoroughly Stewed." "My sympathies. What, then, may I get for you?" "I would like to have a large salad, please." "Now we heading in the right direction," said Aahhz as he shredded an entire head of lettuce into a bowl. "Would you like carrots with your salad?" "Yes, I would like a couple dozen, please." "Righty-oh!. One 24 carrot salad coming right up." Harehunter's Note: I think I'd better stop this before it becomes too silly. Oh, sorry. Too late. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 You do know why Lewis Carroll had the Mad Hatter's companion be the March Hare? Click to reveal.. In March the hares go mad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 I knew that, hence my story had to be set in the spring. I hope that my story reflects a better quality of craftsmanship than that forever embarrassing periodic chart of puns. I still hang my ears in shame when I think of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 The Doctor has a spice rack in the TARDIS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 11, 2012 Share Posted August 11, 2012 Who is the Doctor playing on third? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Witch Doctor? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 12, 2012 Share Posted August 12, 2012 Originally Posted By: The Mystic Witch Doctor? I haven't seen him for quite a spell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 When puns are outlawed... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Heh. That one actually got a laugh out of me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 what do you say when someone is pretending to be "gangster" faux shizzle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Eh, I just ignore them; I don't have the heart to explain to them that there's a big difference between trying to act "'hood" and wearing a hoodie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 The son of one of my co-workers is a Captain in the U.S. Army. He is also airborne qualified. That means he gets to jump out of perfectly good airplanes. I ask about him from time to time, having been an army Captain myself. When my friend told me that he was being transferred from Seoul Korea to Fort Hood, Tx. I just couldn't stop myself. I said, "So now he's going from being a Seoul Man to living in the Hood." One of these days the man upstairs is going to get a hold of me and when he does, whooo boy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Sometimes I feel like a trained circus animal. Whenever I do a good deed for one of my customers, they reward me with puns. Quote: Did you know that when ancient wall sculptors were finished, it was a relief? Or that ancient Aztec writers had to make sure their inca was dry? An ancient Greek shoemaker ran home when there was an earthquake, only to discover he had fallen arches. Meanwhile, ancient orators tended to Babylon. Architects went through columns of figures in order to figure their columns. Did you hear than an archaeologist’s career ended up in ruins? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Is this building up to a point or is it just another pyramid scheme? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Rereading Myth Adventures and I thought of Harehunter. More puns Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Erebus the Black Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 It's a pity they didn't do the rest of his stories as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I have every book up until his latest releases. (Act surprised ) As I recall, Aahz was a wizard, until he got hit with that joke powder. Even more punny is the Piers Anthony Xanth "trilogy". His 32nd book in this series is titled "Two to the Twelveth". I wonder how he arrived at that name . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 December marks the release of the next one, Myth-Quoted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Originally Posted By: Randomizer December marks the release of the next one, Myth-Quoted. Can I Quote you on that Mythter Randomizer? ( I told you I don't speak Lisp. I just couldn't C my way through PASCAL's triangle. To get around it, I had to hitch a ride on FOR-TRANS, but I don't know WAT IV. I visited the Tomb of the Lords of COBOL, but when my card was punched, a guy named Chad had hung around and turned a zero into a space, which gave my program intestinal flue causing it to dump core. What a mess! When I had re-Assembled the bits, I linked back to the bin directory and went FORTH from there. Since then I have BASICally gone quite inSAN.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Are you trying to SNOBOL me? There maybe some PERLs of wisdom in what you said Bcause I tried to compile information right from the source. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I think I need a new pair of glasses. Then I would be able to C#. I have trouble sleeping at night because I drink too much Java. By the way, is SQL pronounced SeQueL, SQueaL, or ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk adc. Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 The most vulgar character of all time... ...They beeped out every single word it said... ------------- -A Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 From the "What is your favorite quote" thread. Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity Well, they made jelly out of rat cells. Not so much a jellyfish. That is, they made a blob of cells that moves in water like a jellyfish when you run current through the water. If you stop the current, the jelly stops moving. It has no internal power source. So this is only a rather modest step up from making dead frog legs twitch with current, as Galvani did in 1771. What Lilith was pointing at sounded like current events. But SoT's shocking revelation was downright re-volting. I find his posts galvanizing. Electrolytically speaking, though, I suppose only Rentar-Ihrno has the capacitance to pull off a stunt like this. Did the Vahnatai ever bring her up on charges for that? They would have to present their case to the short circuit judge. And speaking of the Greeks, I think I remember they had an architectural style known as ionic. But I don't recall that they ever had one called anodic. I have a whole battery of questions like that. I suppose I need to rectify my ways, but I don't want to burn my wheatstone bridges behind me. Besides the semi-conductor on the train won't let me board anyway. I running low on EMF due to a high resistance to my punning, so I think I'll go ohm and take a nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 Originally Posted By: Harehunter I think I'll go ... take a nap. Well, no matter where you're going with that nap, just make sure you put it back where you found it once you're done with it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 @TM, ROTFLMAO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 26, 2012 Share Posted September 26, 2012 so that was an ohmage to truly shocking electrical puns. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Originally Posted By: Harehunter TM Heh. Those are the initials of The Mystic, all right, but all the older people here think rather of Terror's Martyr, of memory ever dubious — the legendary 'TM' of whom people still speak, years after he was permanently banned. He went through a long phase of changing his PDN a lot, and so he is still on the Top Posters list, as 'Donald Hebb'. One of his more presentable monikers, fortunately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rotghroth Rhapsody Prince of Kitties Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Hey, I have one of TM's BoE scenarios in my collection - Bandits II. It has a lot of strange references to Communism, crazily powerful items, and I'm not sure but I suspect the plot is loosely based on Dragonball Z or something. I'd wonder why I keep something like that, but I hey, I left my sanity at the door. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 TM's scenarios were often very good, provided you ignored the issues you've pointed out above. Nah, I kid (somewhat). E:R is still the greatest accomplishment with the BoA editor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted September 27, 2012 Share Posted September 27, 2012 Originally Posted By: Student of Trinity Heh. Those are the initials of The Mystic, all right, but all the older people here think rather of Terror's Martyr, of memory ever dubious — the legendary 'TM' of whom people still speak, years after he was permanently banned. He went through a long phase of changing his PDN a lot, and so he is still on the Top Posters list, as 'Donald Hebb'. One of his more presentable monikers, fortunately. he's technically unbanned now except he can only post in one forum that's currently closed to posting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Erebus the Black Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 here's something a friend just posted: A comathematician is a device for turning cotheorems into ffee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 There's a cosine ahead. You've just entered the twilight zone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted September 28, 2012 Share Posted September 28, 2012 Stop going off on tangents. Or is that your new angle? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted September 29, 2012 Share Posted September 29, 2012 Equilaterally speaking, I'm trying to go in the Right direction, but it's tough going as I am Scalene a steep Slope of an Isoscelene perspective that vanishes in the distance. I don't think I can be any Planar than than. I am not trying to be Obtuse, but I saw the other day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 If wildebeast roamed on the plains of Highpot, would they be known as Highpoten gnus? Just a Randomized thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 No gnus is good gnus. In other gnus, if it leads it bleeds. And that's all the gnus that this board is fit to print. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 A Couplet Squared; You dangled an angle And tempted me mangle. My mind is a tangle, I hope I don't strangle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 More fan mail. Due to the graphic nature of this post I put in on my web site. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Originally Posted By: Harehunter I am not trying to be Obtuse, but I saw the other day. Sooooo.........How many billion covers have been done for this song now? Still, that video has a kernel of awesomeness to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 I thought it was just corny. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Just don't get puffed up thinking you made a clever pun there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 Originally Posted By: Triumph Just don't get puffed up thinking you made a clever pun there. Awww, you're just trying to butter me up. But I've already been a-salted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 Did I hear someone cry wolf? And all that talk about Who, I can't seem to be able to get past first base. Meanwhile there is a stone that is still rocking and rolling along. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Originally Posted By: Harehunter Meanwhile there is a stone that is still rocking and rolling along. Sisyphus must've lost his grip again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasoned Roamer Kingdom of West Brom Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I was on the wireless the other night ... But I fell off! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasoned Roamer Kingdom of West Brom Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 "I went to the doctors the other day, he said: Hello Tommy! He said: I havent seen you for along time, I said: nah ive been ill" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasoned Roamer Kingdom of West Brom Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 "I said to my wife, im homesick - She said this is your home! I said Yeah im sick of it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 Originally Posted By: The Kingdom of West Brom I was on the wireless the other night ... But I fell off! I was on wireless too for a while, but I finally kicked the habit, thanks to this 12-step program I've been attending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted October 12, 2012 Share Posted October 12, 2012 I was wireless for a while, but then I started drinking coffee again. All week long I've felt like a hybrid between a mythical reptile and a burro. You know why they call a seven day period a week? Because that's how you feel at the end of it. That is why they give us weakends. The puns in that last paragraph are pretty week as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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