Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 @Actaeon, I apologize for misreading your intent, but you leave such tempting tidbits, I just can't resist. @Master1; The correlation comes from the comic strip known as "Peanuts", by the greatest, IMHO, cartoonist George Shultz. In this strip there are a brother and sister named Linus and Lucy Vanpelt. Lucy is a rather bossy person who always wants her way, else "I'm gonna pound you", or "I'll slug you." When I saw those two words in Aloreal's post, for some strange, mysterious reason that not even I understand, I linked that to the comic strip. To finish off the verse, the main character of the comic strip was a personification of George Shultz's memories of his own childhood, Charlie Brown, who was drawn having no hair. @all, I appreciate your remarks, I truly do. But I never know for certain who will complain and who will not. Most of the hard core science group seems to appreciate my inverted sense of humor. The title of this thread serves as a warning to those who don't like what I do with the language. "There's a sign post ahead. You are now entering the Twilight Zone." It may just as well be titled "Harehunters Hideout for Hideous Humor". By the way, it appears that no one has looked at my last Numbers post. I will continue this thought back over there since there no pun to cover. @Miramor, I absolutely love that! It reminds me of my Dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 Originally Posted By: Miramor Dad: There's the exit to Norwood. Nandwood should be coming up next. Me: Uh what? Dad: Never mind, just booling around. Both are gated communities, right? —Alorael, who is pretty sure most woods are norwoods. Topography tends to be non-overlapping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Erebus the Black Posted May 6, 2012 Share Posted May 6, 2012 couldn't find nandwood, but I did find needwood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 7, 2012 Share Posted May 7, 2012 When ever I needwood, I lumber over to the yard, and pick out some deadwood. I try not to select any knotwood, because it weakens the structure. Also I make sure I select norwood for the north side, southwood for the south side, westwood for the west side, and Eastwood when I need a Dirty Harey. (Sorry Clint.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 8, 2012 Share Posted May 8, 2012 I almost punned on a very serious thread, regarding the use of non-gender specific pronouns. The conversation is getting quite tangled, like a spiders web around your face when you unwittingly step through it. But again, this is the Spider Webs demesne. I know this is no great pun, but the gravity of the topic at hand deserves complete seriousness. As to the topic under discussion, I will watch how it evolves and abide by the consensus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 11, 2012 Share Posted May 11, 2012 For Student of Trinity: You could probably come up with an acronym to fit 00A0FF. I would try, but I think that number is hexed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Re the OSx problem. I hurriedly hide my hare here, post-haste. As for famous cats, I would nominate: Top Cat, Felix the Cat, Mr. Jinx, Snagglepuss, Sylvester, The Pink Panther, That Darned Cat, Morris and last but not least, Drum roll please... Clarence, the cross-eyed lion of Daktari. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 You missed The Simpson had Snowball in all his various incarnations. Also whichever one is the cat from The Itchy and Scratchy Show Garfield, who out weighs them all. Thomas Hewitt Edward Cat, okay he was human, but the his show was called T.H.E. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Erebus the Black Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 And there's also Schrödinger's cat from "The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul", Weeell maybe he's not that famous... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted May 16, 2012 Share Posted May 16, 2012 Rats, Cats, and dirty little Bats!!! How could I have forgette Garfield?? And Schrodingers cat who also appeared in a Robert Heinlien book, "The Cat Who Walked Through Walls". Or Cdr. Data's cat, "Spot". And how could I ever forget His Royal Catness, Jo. This was when he was just a bitty kitty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dintiradan Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 I'm just going to leave this link here. (The review itself is unpunny, but the responses quickly degenerate.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt MMXPERT-seraph of thermodynamics Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 What do you call a vampire that's 50% off? Count Discount. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unflappable Drayk ĐªгŦĦ Єяŋϊε Posted May 23, 2012 Share Posted May 23, 2012 Department of Redundancy Department Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted June 18, 2012 Share Posted June 18, 2012 I've not been able to spend much time here, and didn't want you to feel that I was ignoring you. With that in mind I present you a sampling from my inbox. This is the sort of fan mail I get. Maybe they're trying to hint that I need to improve my repertoire. Click to reveal.. I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. I didn't like my beard at first Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes. Velcro — what a rip off! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Trenton. Posted June 19, 2012 Author Share Posted June 19, 2012 I like the Titanic one the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 The sausage one was the wurst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dintiradan Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 Really? I can see why people don't like forcing puns into normal conversation, but I don't have any problems with the one-liners above. A lot of them reminded me of Steven Wright. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Slawbug Posted June 19, 2012 Share Posted June 19, 2012 I can't say I love the list above, but I will say they are a big step above the puns Harehunter usually posts. Unlike the usual suspects, the puns above are not completely arbitrary puns posted "just because"... here, there is one pun word that links two different ideas, both present in the sentence. The usual suspects tend to play off one idea and not link to anything else, which is also why we sometimes get a flood of them in one sentence rather than one pun showing up, once in a blue moon, when it fits in quite elegantly and humorously. So, while I agree with Dantius's sentiment, I will also say these do not hurt as much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenderfoot Thahd Spid3rW3b Fan Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Here's one for ya... There is only one reason why a man WOULDN'T want to speak with his wife. 'Cause he didn't want to interupt her Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenderfoot Thahd Spid3rW3b Fan Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 Originally Posted By: !Trenton. I want to hear them because...Well I do, so don't argue with me >.> I like to laugh, so let me hear them. I excpect to see harehunter making great puns about the situation too >.> Here's on for ya... There's only one reason why i man WOULDN'T want to speak with his wife... so he can't interupt her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk nikki. Posted June 22, 2012 Share Posted June 22, 2012 You can't delete posts. Usually, if you want to change what you've wrote, use the edit button to remove your original text and enter something new. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Hello y'all, I appreciate the critiques, and I will pass them on to the contributor. You have profoundly made the case that I do indeed need to polish my repertoire. Now where did I put that can of Brasso? P.S. I trolled the thread about Scrubs, and felt no need to spam it there, since, like someone else had posted, I've never watched the show so I have no comment. P.P.S. I am not commenting on the show, I'm just commenting about those who felt they had to comment. P.P.P.S. I think I'd better stop here. I'm already finding myself in a twisty maze with passages all alike. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Watch out for the Pirate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Grin. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Now why does the word 'terabyte' give me visions of a prehistoric flying reptile? And what did the gigas do to hertz themselves? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Translation please. ------------------- 1. M R DUX. 2. M R NOT DUX. 1. YES M R. 2. NO M KNOT. 1. C M BILLS? 2. Y I B. M R DUX. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magnificent Ornk Student of Trinity Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 A B C D goldfish? L M N O goldfish. O S A R goldfish! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 Just as I suspected. You are no mere geek. You qualify as an Uber-Geek, able to hack through the most cryptic machine code while leaping over the data center in a single stride.[/img] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 All right, now I know my proper level of insanity has been reached. Re the current discussion going on the Pie Poll thread, re the use of the Oxford Comma, I have this overwhelming urge to to inquire: Why did the ox ford the river? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Because he couldn't came bridge. Sorry, this is forcing a pun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Triumph Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Originally Posted By: Randomizer Because he couldn't came bridge. Sorry, this is forcing a pun. Yeah, you really spliced that one together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 It's a good thing I ducked over here to drop that pun. I didn't want to be Yale'd at on the other thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Randomizer Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 That would have been an ivy league mistake instead of a bush league one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 16, 2012 Share Posted July 16, 2012 Maresedotes and Doesedotes and Littlelamsedivies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 A hillbilly family was so proud when their son had been accepted at a university with a full scholarship. It seemed that at last one of them would be educated enough to get a good paying job in town. After the first year of school, the son came home for a visit. His pappy asked him "Well, you've to school for a year now. What have you learned?" The son proudly stated the first thing that came to mind. "I've learned to calculate pi r squared." Well, the old man came completely unglued. "That has to be the most ignorant thing I've ever heard. Everybody knows that pie are round, cornbread are square." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast The Mystic Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 After the Olympics, the athlete went home to show off his three gold medals to his family. His mother was so proud that she immediately went out and had them bronzed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 This isn't the joke you're looking for. Move along now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Slawbug Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Hey, guys. Please don't make jokes that make fun of particular groups of people through the use of insulting stereotypes. Code of conduct, etc, etc, blah blah. But seriously: please don't do that, it's not nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ineffable Wingbolt Erebus the Black Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 Are you referring here to athletes or hillbillies? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 At Texas A&M University, there has been a long tradition of poking fun at themselves. In fact there was published a series of 101 Aggie Jokes. Or we can consider the Jeff Foxworthy and the Blue Collar Comedy team, who have received high accolades for their take on rednecks, mostly from rednecks themselves. When Jeff quips "If you have to mow the grass in your driveway, you may be a redneck.", people laugh because they have done it, myself included. I do appreciate that ethnic jokes are a doubled edged sword. I would never try to use a joke that Chris Rock gets away with. And George Lopez wouldn't either, but he can pick on a different group of people that I dare not touch. Just an observation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast keira Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 I would not want to be a phlebotomist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Slawbug Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Most people reading this have no idea what ethnicity you are, Harehunter, or what other demographic groups you belong to. If you think jokes that showcase stereotypes about categories of people are tasteful in your private life, that's your business, but this is not the place for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garrulous Glaahk Little Fyora Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 hey Harehunter has made 1000 posts! Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Easygoing Eyebeast Dantius Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Originally Posted By: HOUSE of S Most people reading this have no idea what ethnicity you are, Harehunter, or what other demographic groups you belong to. If you think jokes that showcase stereotypes about categories of people are tasteful in your private life, that's your business, but this is not the place for them. He has posted pictures, correct? So the information is publicly available... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Jokes, and name, aside, it's quite hard to tell if someone meets the nebulous definition of a redneck from photos. —Alorael, who is the last of his kind. He can make ethnic jokes and there's no one left to offend but himself. There's also no one left who would get them, though. Very sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted July 24, 2012 Share Posted July 24, 2012 Originally Posted By: The sound of two grues chomping Jokes, and name, aside, it's quite hard to tell if someone meets the nebulous definition of a redneck from photos. surely that depends on whether the photos are in colour and depict the neck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Slarty, I will abide by the rule as you have laid it down. Lilith, My neck does become red, but not as red as my head should I do yardwork sans cover. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Alorael at Large Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 Originally Posted By: Lilith surely that depends on whether the photos are in colour and depict the neck Originally Posted By: Land of One Thousand Punches Jokes, and name, aside —Alorael, who could have made this post contain no original material. In the interests of avoiding spam, he tacked on this verbose but not otherwise especially helpful signature. Sometimes a little thought and a little effort go a long way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatchling Cockatrice Lilith Posted July 27, 2012 Share Posted July 27, 2012 apparently saying "jokes aside" in the jokes thread is not as effective as you may have hoped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Well-Actually War Trall Harehunter Posted July 28, 2012 Share Posted July 28, 2012 It is about as effective as attempting to juggle a dozen eggs right out of the box. (I will leave the imagery to you.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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