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Xaiya

Rebirth of an Episode

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Originally Posted By: MON OH KATH RA RA AH AH AH
<pre><b>NEWBIE IS IN THE EYE OF THE BE-OLDER
ISIS IS VEILED BUT HER SKIRT, MY FRIEND, IS BLOWIN' IN THE WIND</b></pre>


For the love of all things good and pure, knock it off.

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You're wrong. And you're always going to be wrong.

 

(Also, nice chapter Diki)

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A new chapter so soon. Slarty might finish some projects. Has there been a shift in the world's axis?

 

Interesting chapter, Dikiyoba. More creative destruction. Are you fishing for compliments or is it just Salmon?

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Originally Posted By: Randomizer
Has there been a shift in the world's axis?
No, I just bumped the controls accidentally. Fixing...

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Originally Posted By: Randomizer
Has there been a shift in the world's axis?

Possibly. Dikiyoba is trying to finish this before Dikiyoba gets overwhelmed by another fiction writing class. There's only one or two chapters left to be written, so there's a good chance of success.

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That's an interesting way to end the episode. I should have seen it coming. After all the end was scripted. smile

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*writhes on the ground from 523 bad pun damage*

 

Anyway, I'd like to apologize to Diki. I haven't been following this closely at all, and when I have, I couldn't even be bothered to write a thank you or anything.

 

So, Thank You, Diki, for keeping the horde entertained. I look forward to another chapter in this saga, if there ever is one.

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It was a little....underwhelming.

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He died off-screen in Chapter 21. Not the best way to handle it, unfortunately.

 

Originally Posted By: Nioca
Anyway, I'd like to apologize to Diki. I haven't been following this closely at all, and when I have, I couldn't even be bothered to write a thank you or anything.

Well, it's not like it's mandatory reading or anything. Honestly, I should be thanking my readers. And a double thank you to everyone who proofread my chapters.

 

Any and all constructive comments are welcome now that the story is complete. What did you like? What didn't you like? What was confusing or sloppy? Your comments help make Dikiyoba a better writer, so please speak up.

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Very entertaining...but the ending seemed surprisingly abrupt. I didn't realize, until coming back and reading comments on here, that it was, in fact, THE ending, and not merely a chapter ending.

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Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba
Any and all constructive comments are welcome now that the story is complete. What did you like? What didn't you like? What was confusing or sloppy? Your comments help make Dikiyoba a better writer, so please speak up.

I found episodes 5 and 6 (and to a lesser degree, 4) to be much harder to follow. You ran into the Chrono Cross problem: there were so many characters that few of them got very much story time at all. In addition, there were so many subplots going on at the same time that it was hard to follow those. It was just too much to keep track of. The result is that my summary of episode 6 would sound something like this: "Ecksian failed at taking over the board or maybe world (I think), Dintiradan succeeded at taking over (I think), a lot of people and rats ran around in different small groups trying to do various things and sometimes getting killed. A lot of stuff happened with scripts, things might have happened to Arancaytar and Stareye, and oh, Tyranicus stopped dying."

It reminds me a bit of those flowcharts people make to try and keep track of all the X-Men continuities, or the timeline of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or whatever. But in those franchises each comic book, episode, or whatever just focuses on a few characters and one or two things happening. Maybe there are two things going on at once and you jump back and forth... but in these last scripts, the constant jumping among 50 characters in different places was disorienting.

Compared to episodes 1 and 2, where you had strong, clear plot going on with the Ur-Noob and that linguistic disease, and the problems with revivals, etc. There were still plenty of cameo characters, but the story tended to focus on a smaller group of characters for a longer period of time -- for example, when that group of 4 or 5 people got trapped in the tunnels at the end of episode 1. I think you were aided in this by killing off so many people in episode 1. Then when subplots came up, like Zephyr Tempest or whoever it was summoning demons, they were dealt with as a single deal rather than being yet another segment of the story many chapters in a row.

The jokes and dialogue have remained good and I'm confident that I would have liked the story had I understood it better.

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Personally, I began to lose interest after Diki switched from play format to the actual novelesque style currently utilized. I found the plays a refreshing break from the standard style, and they did help to streamline the plot somewhat, if only by forcing you to think more about it.

 

I personally think this was a much weaker story than 1-5, probably due to the villain switch from Ecksian to Dinitridian, especially when I was expecting Ecksian to return. I also found the ending far too abrupt, and the bit about *i just confused me.

 

Criticism aside, I do feel that it is still very interesting, and I definitly enjoyed reading them. Most of your problems cound be solved like most of Ayn Rand's- you just need an editor to help prune the thing to keep it pretty.

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Originally Posted By: Dantius
Most of your problems cound be solved like most of Ayn Rand's- you just need an editor to help prune the thing to keep it pretty.

To be fair, you're reading what is essentially a first or second draft. If this were meant for publication of some sort, I'd definitely go back and fix the abrupt ending (which honestly took me by surprise too) and simplify the overcomplicated mess of a plot.

Originally Posted By: The Mystic
So when's the next episode?

Dikiyoba sets the date back every time someone asks.

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Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba
Dikiyoba sets the date back every time someone asks.


None may know the hour of its coming and going!

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Originally Posted By: Dikiyoba
Originally Posted By: The Mystic
So when's the next episode?

Dikiyoba sets the date back every time someone asks.
That's okay, I'm content to watch the made-for-television miniseries until then. tonguewink

And, of course, conquer and rule over the lolcats. tongue

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You can't tame the lolcat.

They are like, rawr, and stuff. And not the loving dinosaur way, either.

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You don't know what all was in massive that pack I was lugging around until Episode 5, chapter 20; there was probably enough stuff to start (and subsequently finish) a small war. Assuming I can build up another supply like that in Episode 7, I could easily rule over a mini-empire of lolcats.

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