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Olympian9

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Curious Artila

Curious Artila (3/17)

  1. Chapter 11 Review This chapter is also superb! The cliff hanger before was awesome and when you described his joy of becoming an apprentice it was excellent. Good idea of pulling Greenwood Academy out of the Geneforge series. I can't wait for more about what they do in training but I imagine it will be in rooms with runic platforms and pools of essence on both sides, fighting halls where warriors clash, and magic rooms with pools of energy at the sides where magic is used against dummies. Then again you can go back the G3 and base the academy out of the real one in G3. Also what color are the robes? And wouldn't you choose a daryk instead of a drakon? I love this forum!
  2. Chapter 10 Review Oh this is what I call good! The descriptions a excellent and I love the way it flows. I recommend making indivisual (my spelling is terrible) mini paragraphs for each time someone speaks because it is sort of hard to read when every thing they say is all mushed up. Otherwise its great!
  3. Oh dang i was reading the first page and thought that was the end and responded to chapter 9! oops.
  4. Some tiny grammar mistakes but otherwise perfect, this story is awesome. I like how as the story progresses so do the creations. A few things in the post you might want to change, if it is okay with you, is that you could call the armor store an armory, also write Saraph instead of seraph in the 6th paragraph, capitalize the shop name golden stitches (great idea making a tailors shop). Besides those this story is great. I can't wait for more! P.S How come Shaper Andras summoned roamers on the way to the citadel instead of kyshakks or wingbolts?
  5. Oh now i can do it thanks to an ivory skull
  6. Isn't a Shock Trooper the rebel equivalent of a shaper Agent?
  7. I can't seem to buff up a blade like the oozing blade or frozen blade on the anvil.
  8. This story is fantastic! I love it! I think Saraph should meet another apprentice Shaper at school or on the road. They could become friends and go on adventure together.
  9. Can you ever get to Lethia Providence? Or is there no zones there?
  10. Wow it is awesome! That was really smart making up a creation that filters water and the description of the fyora is cool. You are doing a great job and i can not wait for more! Also you could do something exciting like a bandit attack or a rogue creation. Otherwise you are doing great!
  11. Thanks that will help. I thought i would have to kill a boss and it would drop a rare sword.
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