The Loquacious Lord Grimm

Holey Carp! The fanfic that got dropped because of the Semester from Hell! I'd all but forgotten about it, save... um... well... yeah, as Tyran mentioned, I'm trying to put IPB's blog software to use.

This is the Prologue. It tells of what came before. 2 The Spire in Solaria is hailed as one of the great wonders of the modern world. Its porcelain walls rise a majestic ten stories above the rest of the Empire's capital, and can be seen from afar throughout much of he surrounding region. It is a fitting reminder to the citizens of Solaria and the Empire beyond of the supreme power and might of the Empire, and the purity that it represents. Even those in the Far Continents know of the Spire's existence, and many of the Empire's more loyal and affluent citizens make a point of experiencing its awesome presence firsthand at least once in their lifetimes. Being the palace of Emperor Hawthorne III and the central hub for all Imperial operations, it is naturally also the most secure location in the world. Full garrisons of Elite Dervishes and battle mages are personally selected for the honor of serving as the Spire Guard, and the Empire's finest wizards and incantors regularly supply its grounds with modern magical defenses. It is heavily warded against all teleportation and flight spells, the outer gates are layered with specialized anti-enchantment spells and an antimagic field to obstruct the occasional rebellious fireball from the city, and the command center is equipped with a state-of-the-art magical scrying system, allowing the Guard to instantly locate any disturbance within a radius of several miles. And yet, if the reports are accurate, a small army has somehow managed to appear midway up the tower. They came out of a janitors' closet, according to the servant girl who first saw them and sounded the alarm. The Guardsmen assigned to the upper floors are doing their best to hold them back, but whoever the intruders are, they've already pushed up to the sixth level and are moving quickly. That's one of the problems with the new system, of course. It was noted in the last efficiency report: the Guard can use communication magic to coordinate through the tower, but with these fancy anti-portal wards, they can't just teleport up to the top floor anymore. Of course, it would be a lot easier to coordinate if the godsdamned scry pool was working. It's never acted like this before. General Limoncelli listens to the commander's report quite stoically, taking in cues from the environment as low-level wizards and communications officers panic around him. In particular, the much-hyped scrying system lies clouded as several mages continue their spells in attempts to fix it. In the back of his mind, Limoncelli notes that he owes Garzahd a well-deserved "I told you so" for relying solely on his magical [censored] instead of making room in the budget for a separate garrison upstairs. "We've sent squads up behind them already," the commander continues, "and we're trying to call in every available soldier from the city. But we don't know what it is we're dealing with, and the mages upstairs need to concentrate if they're going to send us messages. They can't damn-well concentrate if they're being attacked." "Priest support? Augmenting?" Limoncelli's time in the Nephar Campaigns taught him well that the right magical buffs can turn a battle quickly. "I've sent our available spellcasting assets with the back-up," the commander responds. "They're under instruction to try and haste the force up the Spire as efficiently as possible. To save energy for the fight." "And the Emperor?" "Was having a meeting in the throne room when the first reports came in. He's pinned upstairs." Limoncelli takes a moment to process the information flowing around him. The upper Spire is designed primarily for opulence instead of offices, but the hallways are narrow enough to defend, should that be the case. Of course, the truly heavy security ends at the fourth floor: one practically needs an invitation from the Emperor himself to pass that point. "Sir!" One of the communications officers approaches the commander. "And,,, sir," he says quietly, recognizing Limoncelli. "The mages are coordinating. The best that they have seen is that there are only four intruders, and that they are crossing into the seventh level. The Guardsmen aren't giving them enough trouble, even with the troops from lower floors coming up." The young officer pauses, receiving another telepathic message. "Sirs, they want to know where the backup is." Limoncelli has finally pinpointed the best line of defense. ...but... only four invaders taking on the Empire's Finest? Stranger things have happened. "Lieutenant, please have our forces upstairs pull themselves together in an ambush on the steps of the ninth level. I want only a token defense on the eighth floor. Tell them to prepare for a long fight: acid and stunning when possible, but mostly, keep the men shielded and on their feet. There are healers on the way. I want confirmation when they're ready." As an afterthought, he adds. "And get in contact with the Throne Room Guard. Tell them that they are to wait and use the throne room doors as a final choke point. " The commander waits for the communications officer to return to the mages, "That's right outside of the throne room," he says quietly. Limoncelli does not have the opportunity to respond, for which he is glad. Instead, he is interrupted by the blustery entrance of a throng of soldiers, clearly trying to escort a very irritated someone of importance. "... teleported all the way from Imperius, to be asked for IDENTIFICATION???" The two soldiers in front fly out of the way as Arch-wizard Garzahd, arguably the second most powerful man in the Empire, storms towards the scrying pool. He is unusually disheveled, and the particular set of ratty laboratory robes that surround his short, bulky form make him look more like a clown than the head of the Imperial Army and the emperor's most trusted counselor, a fact that Limoncelli has pointed out to him in the past. Limoncelli unintentionally smirks, and a single finger flies up in the general's direction. "Not a WORD, you!" "It's good to see you, too," Limoncelli mutters, joining his superior at the rim of the scry pool. Garzahd ignores him, instead muttering thoughts of punishment aloud. One hand traces an intricate pattern on the water's surface, while the other nervously claws and tugs at the wizard's foot-long beard of well-groomed graying hair. Within seconds, the clouded image that has plagued the command center comes into sharp focus, eliciting a sharp snort. "It's them." "Which 'them'?" Limoncelli asks cautiously, taking in the pool's scene. He has no idea who the four people in patchwork armor are, but he has a fairly good idea, given the rate at which they quickly take down an armored Guardsman, where they are, and just how dangerous they are. "The Scree Pits." Garzahd turns sharply to Limoncelli, his face beginning to burn a disturbing crimson. "Last month, our primary outpost Below was attacked. I watched the whole thing through a communications sphere." Below. The statement is barely out of the Arch-wizard's mouth before Limoncelli begins moving towards the door. There are contingencies for this. Every possible option has been considered. There is a good reason why the Spire is so heavily fortified, especially with magic. But clearly, it is not enough. His swords are out before he reaches the hallway, and he finds the old motions coming to him more quickly than he expected. Before he hits the stairs, General Limoncelli becomes a racing blur to those around him, as the magical augment that made him a legend kicks in. With all of the mages and rebels and criminals that Emperor Hawthorne insisted on simply shunting away underground instead of killing, Limoncelli has always known that there is a risk of them striking back. There is an even bigger "I told you so" that will have to be delivered, one involving the mass execution of enemies of the state. One that, unless he hurries, may come too late.

I'm game.

That was done in Blender, and had something like 64 frames, right? Has anyone tried to do anything similar since? The Silent Assassin welcomes you to our little section of the Interwebs, and hopes that Greg will bless and keep... you... door... sanity... turtles... tentacles... you get the idea.

Good Greg, I hope this doesn't become a new favorite meta-ing. -pulls up steam favorites list- The Silent Assassin and the cat have apparently formed an unlikely alliance in the War Against All Things Pink. For some reason, both of them have gone and torn up the missus's favorite bean bag chair.

I'm noticing several other TF2 players here... has this commonality been discussed?

Behold. I like having what I'm currently writing about in my face on those rare occasions that the desktop is actually visible. Normally, Illustrator takes up the background.

I'd say that I'd be completely avoiding Facebook on account of that, but really, the people who did all of the complaining in 2008 never quite stopped. So here's to another six months of "'til he's gone" countdowns clogging up our social news feeds, to the tireless complaining of sore losers who may never understand the groupthink in which they are embroiled, and to the gloating of those who will once again claim the President is our messiah and await his great peace on the earth. As for the rest of us... hey, anyone else glad it's over? The Silent Assassin is calling all Spiderwebbers who are interested in making good on the claims to hunt down Actaeon for his last poll. Meet him in the Richard White forum three weeks ago.

There's a rumor going around the office right now that the states hit by Sandy are going to be arranging for absentee and late ballots. I'm about to run off, can anyone confirm that?

Yeah, I know. Most of the areas that aren't union-controlled are heavily reliant on government aid. I've mentioned elsewhere, the Republicans don't even have an established presence in my area, and local elections are most frequently decided with the Dem primary. But it's as much the principle of the act, isn't it?

Registered independant, as I openly disagree on significant issues with both major parties., voted in person at a booth for Romney. Not sure if I'm going to regret it. Time will tell. The Silent Assassin knows that time will tell all, and thus has every clock in the neighborhood under regular recording surveillance, in the hopes that one of them will slip and reveal things early.

Hmph. Wikipedia doesn't have anything to say on registration requirements, but the article isn't a bad read. In West Virginia, I had the option to keep my votes blank when using a touch-screen interface, or to manually enter a write-in name via an attached keyboard. My absentee ballots for New Jersey, including the one for the 2004 Presidential Election, all had space for write in candidates in all categories, and the electronic voting machines that my town uses allow for blank votes or for the input of write-in candidates through an in-built keyboard. We've had our share of local elections upset by write-in campaigns for someone who didn't make it through the Democrat primaries, because the Dems tend to run unopposed around here. I don't know if these high-level write-ins would be valid without registration, but it seems unnecessary... registration is how you get onto the ballot in the first place, right? The Silent Assassin reminds you: he didn't start the fire, and this is an excellent reason why you should write him in for the position of Supreme Ruler of All Earth.

It seems, in my sleepiness, I cut out a paragraph that I did not intend to: I will not deny that these principles are discriminatory, but please understand that such discrimination bears no malice. On God's principle, I cannot support homosexuality as an act, mindset or choice, but that doesn't mean that I can't step aside and let the godless world go on. It's not like forcing-feeding my views to you is going to inherently change the way you think or act. At the same time, I ask that you bear me no malice for holding a position that merely disagrees with you. @SoT: I'm more of a D option thinker, myself, with a wee bit of A thrown in. There is no way that we can get out of this downward-spiraling status quo without everyone, and I mean everyone giving up something to return to center. As I have said many times over the past few years, government intervention can be quite effective in creating growth, but no one seems to understand that both programs and regulation require money, and that the money has to come from somewhere. I personally think that much of our more active structure, from Social Security, to Welfare, to Medicare, to the Defense Budget, to the very way that Congress earmarks funding for special use, and to a small extent, our system of taxation, needs to be rebuilt from the ground up so as to create an organic system, an efficient bureaucracy. Of course, the very nature of such a paradox will prevent it from ever truly happening, but I desire to at least push those in control to acknowledge the flaws in the system and to take action to remedy them; not simply blame them on past leaders, nor push them off to the future. Edit: @Diki: True, on all counts.

Religious objection is not always bigotry, you know. Being a Christian, I cannot, on principle, support gay marriage as an institution because the Word clearly describes it as sin in both the Old and New Testaments (I spent the last two hours writing up my full take on how Christians should approach the evolution of sexuality and gender, and have since cut it out and archived it. Ask privately, if you feel like a debate. I don't want to throw off the thread.) At the same time, I do want people to be happy, successful in their relationships, their lives; and the New Testament is heavily peppered with reminders that Christians are to treat others with love and grace. And humility. And a few other things that people who like to publically quote Leviticus tend to lack... like knowledge... caution... you get the idea. Just as significant, I don't want to see anyone judged. in the Biblical sense. I mean, that is a huge freaking part of the whole Christ-one thing. It's a lot easier to balance all of that on a person-to-person basis than it is to politic in broad strokes, and easier still to dismiss the rest of the world as sinners going to hell. While that last part does smack of bigotry, what does the rest of it sound like to you? I guess it's a good thing that I'm not voting on just that issue, and that my investigations into the candidates on my ballots goes into other things like fiscal records, voting and policy records, compared to actual actions. I know for sure that I will be voting to remove my incumbent Congressman because he refused to even consider compromise during the budget crisis, and made darn well sure that Twitter knew it... and shortly thereafter used campaign funds to take his family on a vacation in Europe. Fortunately, the competition looks competent. Most of the local positions are running unopposed. That's what happens when the unions run the area. In those that have challenges, only one challenger actually looks better than the incumbent. Happens every now and then. It's four in the morning, and I'm still undecided on my Presidential vote. As a man and a politician, let alone a leader, President Obama has lost almost all of the respect that I had for him by refusing to man up or compromise, insisting that his long string of failures, ineffective policies, and insufficient measures were not his fault. On the other hand, Romney's record in the social, economic, and legal arenas has been so damned inconsistent, the only thing that seems to be counted on is his faithfulness to the voters that got him elected. While I can actually see some of his policies going places, I don't particularly care for the people to whom he has been pandering. Hell, it's been over a year, I will likely be voting within the next twelve hours, and I'm still playing with the idea of voting for Obama, just to give Chris Christie a chance while he's still considering the possibility of running. I'm thinking of running in 2024. My campaign will be based on policies of common sense, balanced budget, and absolutely no use of the words "middle class". Possibly some reform in social programs, but the aim of this would be to give them more bang for their buck. No gimmicks, no assault ads, no catering. Just an average American trying to help America. Anybody think I could get a kickstarter fund for my campaign? The Silent Assassin will be writing in Bob the Dog, as he does every year. Bob, of course, returns the favor, as he doesn't think that voting for himself is ethical.

The series is available through Play Instantly, if you have it. The Silent Assassin is pleased with your offering of fresh fish and doorknobs. You will be spared in the revolution.

'nuff said.

We're already using stolen identities, silly. Edit: I don't want it to sound like identity theft isn't a serious thing, so I'll just add that the easiest way to prevent identity theft is to keep your passwords to yourself, keep your Internet access encrypted, and keep a regular eye on your bank accounts and credit report. There is very little that a would-be thief can't find out about you with some serious digging, thanks to the accessibility of information that the Internet and... a telephone.... brings, but most thieves can't or won't justify taking that amount of time, and are satisfied by the illicit gains that can be made by casually snagging people who leave themselves exposed. The Silent Assassin has been known to create fake identities for the sole purpose of leaving them for would-be thieves to find. He then hunts them down and feeds them last month's leftovers.

Brick has power? That's encouraging. Neptune/Belmar/Wall/Sea Girt are still out, last I heard.

I'm trying to remember which corporation I encountered that cited this topic very specifically as motivation not to do anything crude with the copy machines. Regardless of where, I remember that for the most part, it worked, but that one staff members had mentioned to me that the possibility of having one's posterior... or worse... indelibly stored on company hardware was actually motivation for several applicants. It might have been my university's library, now that I think about it. When consulted specifically for this post, The Silent Assassin only indicated that Stephanie Meyer is to blame. No, I don't know what that's supposed to mean, either.

The missus and I are midway through season two in her anticipatory rewatch. Netflix is a strange and powerful thing, and even stranger and more powerful when available through a Nook. And the missus will be very cross if I don't mention My Little Annotated Project, which is produced by her best friend, and is supposed to be some sort of adaptation done for the classroom or something... I confess, I haven't really looked into it. But I will be beaten senseless if I don't mention it. The Silent Assassin refuses to watch any more until Twilight Sparkle swears fealty to him and joins in on the Crusade on All Things Pink. Also, he thinks Pinkie Pie looks very chic with straight hair.

It's good to see that people are getting out of the chaos. I have some family a few beaches south of Asbury Park, and they've been sharing some rather scary stories about how people are reacting while waiting for the power to come back. Today's big report was the half-mile line of pedestrians trying to get gas at the only functioning station in the area. This, while their town has been waterlocked from the flooding of a nearby bay, and with voluntary water rationing to stave off the local tower from going dry in the expected week it'll take to get power to the pumps again. And yeah, nobody saw it coming. I mean, we've had flooding before, and the coast has been evacuated before (I have other family who insists that LBI gets evacuated for moderate-power thunderstorms.), and, well, it's impossible to live in Jersey and not have seen pictures of the Wildwoods underwater... but that same family, whose home was merely a block away from the water when the ocean hit its highest, was informed that all they needed to do was prepare for local flood contingencies. And now they can't leave, even if they wanted to. I think the worst part is the response. I live in the Philly suburbs, and the worst we got here was that a handful of homes in known flood zones got flooded and gutted by the water, while all of the power across the river in PA seemed to have gone out (Irene was much, much worse for our area). A lot of people around here think that the mess on the coast is a bunch of media hype, and I've even heard it suggested that PSE&G is balking at fixing up a few traffic lights just for the attention. Y'know, never mind the whole convoys of bucket trucks trying to get through the highway system. Out of respect, the Silent Assassin will not contribute to this post.