Alt History Blues

[Dintiradan]

Recently, several members of the community have gotten into Crusader Kings 2 (thanks Nalyd!). We had a short-lived LP, but such things are a lot of work to create. Still, the community seemed interested, so I figure a less intensive approach might be appreciated by all. Players of CK2, feel free to use this thread to let us know how your current game is going, as often as you'd like (once a generation, once a century, whenever something funny pops up) and however you'd like (in character or out of character, with screenshots or without).

 

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Greetings.

 

 

I am Mauda Ua Cheinnselaig. Queen of Navarra, Andalusia, and Wales. Duchess of Toulouse and Moray. Countess of Calatayud, Granada, Seville, Algeciaras, and Galloway. Baroness of Ronda. Well met.

 

Well, I'm not quite queen yet. My realm has been ruled by one regent or another since I was four, when my father died suddenly at the age of twenty four. But I will rule all by myself within a year!

 

My history tutor tells me that me that's it's been exactly one century since William the Bastard began his ill-fated attempt to claim the throne of England. And I thought this would be a neat time to reflect on everything that's changed since then.

 

Just think: back then, my ancestors ruled as lowly counts in Ireland. My great-great-great-grandfather was Count of Dublin, and my great-great-great-great-grandfather was Count of Leinster. But now? Now not only do I rule almost half of the Iberian peninsula, I also control parts of southern France and Brittany, Wales, and an awful lot of Scotland as well. Oh, and a bit of Ireland. But not all of it, not anymore. You see, my father died without any sons, and since he didn't choose a specific heir, the realm was split between my younger sister and I. Now she rules Ireland, and I got the rest. It's a bit of a shame; most of my family's estates were in Ireland, and my steward keeps complaining about how empty our treasury is. Maybe one day I can convince her to give it back. Running three kingdoms is expensive.

 

Especially wars. There's been a few wars lately. A few years back, all but one of my dukes rebelled, trying to gain their independence. I quashed the uprising, but it was a long war. Now, most of my troops are a continent away, fighting in the Crusade for Lithuania. It's difficult for my troops, fighting against pagans with no supply lines, but with the help of our allies -- like my cousin once removed, the King of Irish Ruthenia; or the army led directly by the true pope -- we are winning the good fight. Of course, there are setbacks. Thinking my realm distracted, Scotland and England have united in a war to reclaim lost territory in northern Scotland. I confess, I wouldn't have be able to hold them back without the aid of my sister's Irish troops and some (very expensive) mercenaries. But by the time I fully ascend to the throne, deo volente, I will have defeated both the unwashed pagans and those that follow the whispers of a false pope.

 

It hasn't always been easy for me, growing up in such stressful times. But whenever things get tough, I look up at the portrait of my great-grandmother, Tailltiu Ua Cheinnselaig, the last Queen of Navarra before me. Tailltiu, who ruled Navarra for forty three years. Tailltiu, who was called "Tailltiu the Devil" by her detractors. Tailltiu, who increased the family lands from four counties to four kingdoms. Tailltiu, who waged holy war after holy war, almost completely eliminating the Moors who once ruled half of Iberia. Tailltiu, who went through five husbands. Tailltiu, who was excommunicated... twice.

 

The realm has stagnated after her death. Neither my grandfather nor my father accomplished much in their short reigns -- I've already reigned longer than both combined, and I'm not even out of my regency yet! But I swear to you, once I come of age, I will live up to her legacy. I will claim new lands, reclaim old ones, and there will be peace.

 

I mean, what's the worst that can happen? A horde emerging from the eastern steppes in a couple of decades, destroying eastern European territories I'm working so hard to claim? Psssh. Like that's realistic.

 

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(Please note that this is the furthest I've ever gotten in a game -- my previous attempts all ended in corrupted saves or irrecoverable crashes. Also, I'm playing Ironman, so there's been more than a few boneheaded mistakes -- losing control of Ireland being the biggest one. And I'm deliberately making some questionable choices, just to see what happens. Is trying to take control of Lithuania a good move? Prooobably not. But let's wait and see what things look like in 1266.)

 

(Also, if you're curious what's been happening in the rest of Europe in my game, just ask; I've kept a pretty good mental record of who's ruling what and why.)

[Mistah Q]

Heh, you know I have Crusader Kings II but I never played it, I got drawn into Europa Universalis 3 instead, campaigning to restore Byzantium.

[Dintiradan]

 

Well met, subjects. I am Énri mac Énri ua Cheinnselaig; King Énri the Second of the eight united kingdoms of Navarra, Lithuania, Andalusia, Alba, Ireland, Portugal, Wales, and Castille. I ascend to the throne after the death of my cousin, http://Mauda the Great.

 

My cousin's appellation seemed well-deserved, at first. It was under her rule that we won the Crusade for Lithuania, that we took the land the locals once called Scotland, that we continued our goal of uniting Hispania under one ruler. It was Mauda who took Magnus Salian as a husband, then just one of many princes of the Holy Roman Empire, but now its Kaiser. A child of that union could have united our two great lands, merging our already strong eight kingdoms with the mightiest empire in Europe.

 

It was also Mauda who regained control of Ireland after her sister Queen Siobán the Young passed away suddenly after one of her banquets. Since Siobán's only child was a daughter widely known to be the the result of an illicit affair, Ireland passed to Mauda. It is rumoured that Mauda was involved in a previous assassination attempt on Siobán, but I cannot know for certain if she was involved in this one.

 

But as her reign progressed, events began to turn against her. During one of her wars with one of the Zikri Sultans to the south, she was horrifically wounded during an attempt on her life (despite the fact that she had trained with a wandering warrior from the distant east). Later, she fell victim to the Great Pox. It seemed she was accursed by God. The Pope seemed to agree; she was excommunicated. She ended up dying disfigured, diseased, and dishonoured. With no child, the dreams of uniting with the Holy Roman Empire died with her.

 

It wasn't the only united empire we gave up on. The Byzantine Empire has been embroiled in revolutions, with splinter factions breaking away and becoming independent. My grandfather, King Énri the First, had married a Byzantine princess. As such, the blood of the Basileus flowed through the veins of his sons: my uncle, King Lorcan, and my father, Énri mac Énri, the Earl of Toledo. My father wanted his niece to press his claim to the throne, but unfortunately his health was poor in his later years, and he died shortly before Mauda did.

 

It's unlikely that I will fulfill Mauda's dream of joining our lands with one of the remnants of the great Roman Empire. Instead, I have a new dream: forging a empire that will govern Hispania and beyond. My armies are marching towards Leon, to take land rightfully mine as King of Castille, and towards the southern coast, to conquer the last holdout of the infidel Moors. The crown of Aragon is also mine; much of its lands are already under my control, so their ineffective king can do nothing but fume should I claim his crown.

 

Hispania will be mine. After that... who knows?

 

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(C'mon people, I know I'm not the only one playing this game...)

[Mistah Q]

(If I'm not allowed to say this here please edit my post indiscriminately...

 

ooc- for anyone who isn't yet into CKII and such, today only until midnight (u.s. pacific time), - so for roughly 26 1/2 hours after the timestamp of this post - go to Amazon and look for "Paradox Grand Strategy Pack". CKII is usually a $30 game in its own right. But right now you can get for USD $14.98 a bundle containing Europa Universalis 3, Europa Universalis 4, Hearts of Iron 3, Victoria II, Sengoku, and Crusader Kings II all together - and not only that but they give you a $5 amazon credit for android purchases as a reward.

 

Europa Universalis is kind of like... Civ for adults? Very depth of diplomacy and troop allocations and such. I spent much of my freetime the past few years playing EUIII... excited to finally have EUIV so I probably won't get in on this RP. Sengoku is similar but based on feudal Japan. Victoria is more of a... Colonial England Sim? And Hearts of Iron is a WW2 game of the same ilk.

 

But as is relevant to this thread, if you've been itching to get into Crusader Kings II, here's a great chance to do it. )

[Edgwyn]

I have played CKII a couple of times spurred on by the LP that was here. I had some frustrations with it, but have updated my version and started a new game.

 

I am King Alfonso of Leon. It has been 15 years since William the Bastard invaded England. I was not a nice person and successfully assassinated my brothers to secure for myself the Kingdoms of Castille and Galicia. Before I could assassinate him my brother in Galicia started a war for Zaragosa. I was able to finish the war and secure the county for myself as well. After revoking my sisters titles, I personally control all three counties in Leon and three of the four counties of Castile. This gives me a bit of a penalty, but I want to have as much control of those two dukedoms as possible. I married the daughter of an Italian Doge who had great Diplomatic skill because this was an area that I am poor in. In the last 15 years, I have been able to greatly improve myself and I am an overall much better person than I was. I have a 13 year old Daughter who would make a great ruler, but the succession laws favor my 11 year old son who will be a fine ruler, except for his very poor martial skill (maybe his sister can fight for him). I also have a four year old daughter.

 

My mid term goal for my dynasty is to control all of Spain. My long term goal is to control the Western part of the Mediterranean by expanding into North Africa. I am trying to avoid warfare with my Catholic neighbors. I recently concluded a successful Holy War with the Infidel that gave my the Dukedom of Badajoz. I had to call in a couple of mercenary units to finish things quickly before the Sunni's could overwhelm me. I really cannot afford to risk another Holy War for a long while.

 

Barcelona may end up with a female ruler, but she is too young for my heir and will likely be too old for my heir's son when he has one. Navarra is weak and has limited options for succession. Aragon is divided. If I take a county from the infidel, I could set myself up there as King as well. That particular infidel is a strong ruler however. My immediate ambition is to take one more county in the Kingdom of Portugal through a false claim. With that done, I could declare myself King of Portugal and fight a series of De Jure battles for the remaining counties. I finally had my chance during my Holy War, but I did not have sufficient funds to pursue my claim so now I must start again.

[Slawbug]

I just want to say that I keep misreading this title and expecting a post about Prussian Blue or Ultramarine.

[Edgwyn]

Well, I didn't quite follow my plan. I risked another Holy War and ended up with a couple more counties in Portugal. That allowed me to declare myself King, but I had a long truce period before I could take any more counties in Portugal. Towards the end of the Truce, one of my Dukes started a war for the remaining counties. My truce expired while he was at it, so I was able to jump in and take one of the four for myself.

 

My son has come of age and is engaged to the Duchess of Burgandy. She should come of age soon. My eldest daughter is married to the King of France. Either William the Bastard failed or never launched his invasion of England, so the King of France decided to do it himself and dragged me into it. I was able to contribute around 15% towards his victory and still pull my troops off of the island successfully. I hate fighting on islands since it is so hard to get your army home afterwards. The King of France is awfully powerful, hopefully he will not decide that he wants to take over Spain in the next few generations.

 

I returned to my evil ways and tried assassinating the King of Navarra. Nothing was happening, so I went ahead and invaded and took over. That was probably a waste, since when I die, my son probably won't inherit it. I need to spend the next few years figuring out how to deal with succession in multiple Kingdoms, prevent France from swallowing me, getting my claim established in Zaragosa and how to have a Holy War for another big chunk of Spain without the North Africans coming in and beating me.

[Dintiradan]

 

I am Echmarcach, son of Énri the Blessed, Emperor of Hispania. And I have inherited a war with the strongest Christian realm in the world, after my own.

 

It isn't the first time our two great empires have clashed. My grandmother was Duchess of Baden, and after her death her lands passed to my father. The Kaiser preferred those lands remain under the control of the Holy Roman Empire, but rather than make a formal request at the time, he waited until the bulk of our forces were fighting in the Third Crusade. Magnus the so-called 'Just' should have acted more honourable as a Christian ruler, let alone as someone who was once king consort of our lands. Well, my father was able to defend our empire against superior forces with nothing but grit, determination, ingenuity, and the strength of the seven largest mercenary companies in Europe. He then retaliated by pressing his claim for the duchy of Holland. After that, there was no direct conflict between us, until last year, when my father decided to press one of his new earl's claims to the throne of Bavaria.

 

It's a tactic my father employed often: inviting dissatisfied foreigners to his court and granting them land; usually a county seized from the Zikri sultans of northern Africa. Then, when the time was ripe, he would offer his support in pressing their claims to a throne, in exchange for their kingdom being brought into the Spanish fold. In this way, the kingdoms of Sweden, Poland, Rus, and France were added to our growing empire.

 

I plan on continuing the work of my father, securing an even stronger empire for my son, Énri (who is almost certain to inherit; my other sons serve as bishops, aside from my poor Coirpre, who passed away peacefully in his crib). A united Europe might be a necessity, for a new threat has appeared to the east. In the span of a year, the Mongols' reach extends to the eastern shores of the Caspian Sea. True, it is not emperors of Christendom that need to fear being the next target, but rather the Shi'ite Caliph in the south, or the Sunni Khan in the north. But to ignore this threat altogether would be shortsighted. The horde will reach Europe eventually, and when it does we must stand ready.

 

EDIT:

 

(1:37:29 AM) dintiradan: (playing ck2) Looking for a good betrothal for my 13 year old son. Hey, this woman has good stats, at little old for him at 22, but she'll do...

(1:37:45 AM) dintiradan: Wait, her name looks familiar...

(1:38:09 AM) dintiradan: Oh, right, it was my father's third wife. The one he married in his fifties.

(1:38:20 AM) dintiradan: My son is going to be tunnel buddies with his grandfather.

[Sarachim]

I've been playing a lot of Europa Universalis 4 lately, even though CK2 is the better game. I think I'll open it up again tonight and join the thread.

 

I promise to be less gross than Dinti.

[Dintiradan]

I promise to be less gross than Dinti.

What about less racist?

 

(1:56:00 AM) dintiradan: Now. What's going to happen to the Ilkhanate if I kill the Khagan's only son?

(1:56:59 AM) dintiradan: I hope it means it splits apart after the Khagan's death. The Mongols are the only ones that pose a potential threat to me.

(1:58:31 AM) dintiradan: Bet you wish you didn't have seven daughters and inheritance laws that forbid women ruling now, huh? Go back to the steppes, immigrant.

[Edgwyn]

Well, at the age of 74, my father King Alfonso finally died, now I am King Fernando the Just. He did give me Kingship of Navarra before he died to try to keep it in the family, but things did not work out and so I lost it. I was able to retain all of the rest of his titles, which when combined with the ones that he had given me earlier, meant that I had to find some courtiers to give counties and a duchy to.

 

The last part of his life was busy despite him being concerned about starting something and then dying in the middle of it. He was able to take a little bit of Aragon and Barcelona away from the infidel, giving me a foothold in those realms for future expansion. His wife died, but he stayed chaste afterwards which made succession easier. He did get multiple offers from Aragon for Matrilineal marriages but turned them down. He fought in several holy wars, mostly as an ally for others, but he did initiate one that gave us the Duchy of Valencia. We were already in a war so participating in the crusade for Jerusalem was out of the question.

 

There has been some more consolidation among the infidels that we face with the Hudids getting weaker, but the already strong Almorvids getting even stronger. The reconquista is going to be difficult though we are making progress. We have 32 of the 59 counties in Espana. There are three more in the Kingdom of Aragon that we can pick up from Infidels, which will also gives us a little over half. Our major expansion is going to have to take place in Andalusia where we only have 3 out of 20. Toledo is the next obvious target, but we will see.

[Sarachim]

After a few false starts, I've begun a game as Malmure (or Mael Muire), Earl of Atholl and bastard half-brother to King Malcolm III. At least, that's how the game interprets it; we actually don't know much of anything about the historical Malmure, but an Icelandic saga about the history of the Orkney islands says that Malmure was the son of King Duncan I (yes, that one). As far as I can tell no source names his mother, so I don't know how the Paradox crew concluded that he was a bastard or that Malcolm III was only his half-brother.

 

Then again, no source tells much of anything about him, so for game purposes he's pretty much a blank slate. I like to imagine a jealous brother, cheated out of an inheritance. The Scottish crown should be mine, and before I die I will have it.

 

A totally original idea that has never been done before.

[Edgwyn]

I finally finished my CKII game. It is the first time that I have made it through. I learned a lot about the game, although there is still a lot that frustrates me. I ended up resorting to some outside of the game interface assassinations, primarily to avoid my frustration of having a vassal rebel and then suddenly get 90,000 troops added to their forces for no reason. The fact that a Republic can keep a title without having any of the counties that belong to that title was frustrating also.

 

Ultimately, the Hispanic Empire was not as stable as it should be, but we made it to the end, with the Empires of Hispania, Britania and Mali, and the Kingdoms of France (75%), Aquitane, Brittany, Mauretania, Africa (title but only 25%), Denmark, Lithuania and Jerusalem all under my rule. My son was also heir to Hungry, so in another generation that would have been part of the Empire as well.

 

My initial plans had been to seize control of the med. It started out really well, but Pisa got in the way and I got tired of fighting all of their mercenaries. By that time, Francia had fallen apart and I had control of Ireland, so an Atlantic strategy seemed like a thing to do seize control of the passage to the new world. Obviously there is no naval combat in the game, but by the end, my empire would have been able to control the Atlantic. The HRE is the premier land power in Europe (they have a chunk of Francia, plus expanded a bit to the East), Pisa is probably the dominant power in the Med (but trapped there), and Norway is the leader in Scandinavia. Future plans for my empire were to try to obtain Poland through marriage and expand my holdings in Sweden and Eastern Europe. That plan was kind of thrown a curve when I ended up with Jerusalem near the end of the game. The Shia's and Yezzidis control the area around it, and I would really need to take out the Sultanate of Egypt, leaving me with Pisa between the two halves of my Mediterranean holdings, which while insignificant in the game, would be a big problem in real life.

 

It will probably be a month or two before I play again, but I will probably play as England or a Scandinavian country next time. In the future I would like to be Southern Italy, but I want some more practice first.

[Dintiradan]

Hey everyone, here's a bump, but it's gonna be the last one in a long while. I fired up my CK2 game again after a long hiatus. Since I've last played, Paradox has pushed out a new DLC. Not one that I own currently, but that doesn't matter, because they pushed out a free patch as well. One that was automatically applied, of course. After loading my save and realizing this, I went back and specifically chose which version of CK2 to run... but the damage was done. The mere act of loading my save in CK2 2.2.x made it unplayable in CK2 2.1.x.

 

I don't think I'll be touching this save any longer. For what it's worth, it was in the 1230s when I stopped, and the world map like this. Same ruler as my last post, and he's been very busy absorbing entire kingdoms into his empire (yellow). He created his own antipope, and then installed his successor. The back of the Holy Roman Empire (white) has been broken, and the Byzantine Empire (purple) isn't looking too great either. The only other Christian powers of note are Nubia (orange) and Volga Bulgaria (brown), both of which I've left alone. Sunni Muslims are all but gone from Spain and Africa. I've continuously taken land from the Shiite Caliphate (bright green), not the least of which is Mecca and Medina. The only real threat right now is the Ilkhanate (puke green), and I was moving my standing armies eastward in preparation for the first direct conflict I was plotting against them.

 

All in all, gameplay had become easy and rather... masturbatory. The end of the game was still over two centuries away. I was planning to stick it out until the Aztec invasion, but I guess that will have to wait for another day.

 

I can still see myself having fun with the game, but as long as Paradox treats it like an open beta, I'm not interested. I have enough other stuff to do (some of it isn't even games!), so it'll keep. Maybe I'll come back to it once they start releasing CK3. Then, at least, I'll finally be able to play a complete game without save issues.

[Dintiradan]

 

I have given my promise, pledge, and guarantee to be the protector and defender of the holy Roman Church, and the Pope himself has placed the imperial crown upon my head. Now, I, Diederik Flamens, continue my father's work as elected ruler of the Holy Roman Empire.

 

Perhaps I should start at the beginning. Around the time Harald Hardrada's and William the Bastard's ill-fated invasions of England, my great grandfather Diederik was ruler of but one county, Gelre. But he dreamed of being more than merely an inconsequential count under the Duke of Lower Lorraine. He wanted to strengthen his family's position, to rule a duchy of his own, perhaps even to reclaim the lands held by the Frisians before Frankish domination.

 

The Flamens dynasty is of modest size today, but back then it was relatively weak. Still, my great grandfather had a couple allies he could depend on: his uncle Willem was Prince-Bishop of Sticht, and his cousin (once removed) Rutger was Count of Kleves. He was shortly able to install his nephew Gerard as Prince-Bishop of Koeln. Then, unfortunately for Count Rutger but fortunately for my great grandfather, Rutger's line died out, and the county of Kleves passed to him. Now, I must point out that there is absolutely no reason to believe that my great grandfather was involved in the deaths of Rutger's son and granddaughter. As for the infamous rumour that my great grandfather had Rutger's grandson smothered in the cradle, well, I assure that is nothing more than historical revisionism engineered by one of my family's many envious rivals.

 

After the county of Friesland was seized, my great grandfather decided it was time to free himself from the yoke of his liege duke. Kaiser Heinrich, his focus on dealing with the traitorous faction lead by Matilda of Tuscany, was unwilling to have strife between his vassals, and so he granted the Duchy of Gelre to my great grandfather.

 

My great grandfather's dream of claiming a duchy and securing his family's place on this earth had been achieved, and about a year after being made duke the Lord called him up to heavenly glory. He was succeeded by his son Gozewijn. My grandfather was a master of intrigue, one who recognized how the family's position could be advanced through marriage (in the present day, about a third of England is controlled by dukes and duchesses of my line, thanks to the marriages he arranged). He himself had married Princess Maria of Hungary. His cunning was recognized by Kaiser Heinrich, and he was employed as his spymaster. A position of great importance and power, to be sure, but it was also his downfall. My grandfather was murdered while investigating one of the kaiser's treasonous vassals, a mere five years into his rule as duke.

 

And so my father, Diederik, came into power. He became known as "the Noble" later on, but even upon his ascent he would have deserved the epithet (once again, I must point out that the rumours of my father murdering my uncle Gozewijn, who had inherited the County of Kleves, are completely unfounded). The first portion of my father's reign was personal conquest. Taking territory controlled by the Duke of Lower Lorraine, our former masters, seizing control of the Duchy of Holland, reclaiming counties that had broken away from France. All with the eventual goal of uniting all our Dutch brethren under one Dutch ruler. Then finally the day came when my father announced he would be serving the kaiser not as a mere duke, but as a king. A king of Frisia, united once again, but this time as part of Christendom and under the Holy Roman Empire.

 

Relations between my father and Kaiser Heinrich were good. My father served on the council as spymaster, like his father before him, and had even married my sister Maria to the Kaiser's son, Theodorich. But Theodorich was not the man Heinrich was, and when Heinrich finally passed away, my father requested that he be made Emperor instead, for the good of the Empire. Theodorich, unable to consolidate power so quickly after his father's death, acquiesced.

 

And so my father became Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. One of his first acts as Emperor was to press his claim as King of Hungary, as he was the grandson of a Hungarian king. And so that proud nation was incorporated under the empire. More kingdoms would be added in the same way during his reign: Poland, Norway, Sicily, Aquitaine, France, Aragon, Navarra, Portugal, Leon.

 

But the most famous conquest during my father's reign would of course be the Crusade for Greece. Greece had been the centre of the once great Byzantine Empire, but over time the infidel Turks had chipped away at their holdings, until eventually they conquered all of Greece. But it was not the will of God for Constantinople to be ruled by the Mahometans. The Pope in his wisdom called for a crusade, and my father answered.

 

Dealing with his burgeoning empire was trying for my father. He dealt with his workload by entrusting me with the kingdoms of Hungary and Greece, as well as a recreated Bavaria. Eventually, he also recreated the kingdom of Lotharinga and entrusted it to my son, Diederik. A division of duty was necessary: even aside from my father's conquests, he had to deal with disloyal vassals. Most disliked an upstart dynasty from seizing control of the empire, and the prince electors were constantly falling behind one duke or another, instead of supporting me. My father would have these heirs apparent investigated by the Pope, and inevitably they would be found to be deeply immoral, and thus excommunicated. Most rebelled once the depths of their sins were uncovered, and thus they were removed from power.

 

My father inherited the Duchy of Gelre at the age of 21. He created the kingdom of Frisia at 37, and became emperor at 44. And then he ruled as emperor for 33 years, the second longest anyone has held that office after Kaiser Heinrich. Now, with his death, his duties fall to me.

 

Dividing up my vassals, making my empire more manageable, was my first priority. I granted Greece to my son, and granted Hungary, along with the newly created kingdoms of Burgundy and Italy, to other members of my dynasty. But having done so, what shall I do next? What shall my legacy be?

 

To the northwest lie the British Isles. My vassals have a few scattered holdings here, but all Christian rules should bow to the emperor. England is united and strong, difficult to take at once unless a succession crisis occurs. Ireland would likewise be difficult to conquer at once, but because it is still hopelessly divided. But Scotland... the Queen of Scotland has been fighting revolution after revolution. I could easily install one of my claimants there.

 

In the southwest, my armies are already fighting to claim Galicia. Soon, it will fall. But what next? Over the past century, the great kingdom of Castille has been fighting tirelessly to reclaim Iberia in the name of Christianity. But all Christian kings must serve one emperor. I would add this jewel to my crown, save for one consideration: the Shiite Caliph in Egypt has declared Jihad for Andalusia. And unlike the infidels in the west, who squabble amongst themselves more than anything else, the Shiites of the east are strong, united. Should I repel the infidel first, before pressing a claim on Castille?

 

To the southeast lie the Shiite realms. Christianity has been nearly expunged. Abyssinia has fallen under infidel rule. And the short lived Republic of Jerusalem, created after a Pisan victory in the First Crusade, has long since fallen. Could it be brought back one day? Who knows. But the insidious power of the Mahometans cannot be understated. Did you know my son's second wife was a Greek convert to that horrible religion? Now, my son's faith does not burn nearly as strongly as mine, and his romantic tastes are... odd... but even then, the marriage came as a shock. Thankfully, my father was able to deal with the problem.

 

To the east... not much. Aside from the kingdom of Ruthenia, most realms are either inconsequential or pagan. The only moderate threat is Lithuania, a kingdom of unusually united pagans. They need to be dealt with eventually.

 

 

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Stuff like this always ends up being way longer than I expect it to be. But anyway. Where to next? I'm still upset about how Paradox does updates, but at least this time I'm prepared.

[Dintiradan]

How did it come to this?

 

 

After a decade of rule, my father passed away. And thus I, the king of Lotharinga and Greece, inherited his kingdom of Frisia, and was elected Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire. I granted the crown of Greece to my firstborn son Diederik (and shortly afterwards, the crown of Lotharinga to his half-brother Niclaes), and began my rule. And the empire itself is strong. My father extended our borders during his reign, and I've made a few conquests of my own during the several years I've held the throne. Yes, the empire is secure... but my family's place in it is not.

 

I have dutifully done what the realm required of me, siring eight children between the four wives I've had (my current wife is one of the few remaining Christian rulers in Abyssinia, the previous three have passed away -- my second was executed by my grandfather, for she was an infidel who plotted my death, don't ask). But despite all my marriages, I have always desired something... different. For years I resisted these shameful urges, but eventually my resolve broke, and I began a twice-damned affair. For a while I tried to convince myself that this was like any other dalliance that any other ruler would have, and that I did not care if my wife discovered it. But the guilt of my actions has been slowly overwhelming me. In my youth I had a reputation for renewed piety after my second wife's execution, even becoming known as Diederik the Apostle, and I deluded myself into believing that I could stand resolute against all temptation. But I now know the truth: I am irredeemable.

 

My unnatural urges have not escaped the notice of my court. Nor have rumours of my involvement in certain deaths outside the realm. I confess, they are true; I have ordered the deaths of men when their deaths would be convenient. All in service to the realm, but my hands are bloody nonetheless. And so my actions have not only damned myself but also doomed my sons, for the electors in my empire have made it clear that upon my death, they would bestow the crown upon another. A count, but no mere count: a Salian, the son of Theodorich who ruled as Kaiser for but a few short weeks before surrendering the crown to my grandfather. I don't doubt the resourcefulness of my sons, nor the allegiance of the many vassal kings who now share our blood. But I would prefer a peaceful transition, like the ones my father and I had. But what could possibly win the favour of my electors after all I have d-

 

Wait.

 

Yes... this could work. A crusade to restore the Pisans, now part of the empire, to the Holy Land? It might be enough to not only win back the trust of my electors, but also win back my immortal soul.

 

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Yes, I am aware of that humourous bug in that one pop-up.

 

Another neat event from my previous character's rule that I couldn't work into the narrative of the post: Someone from my dynasty inherited the Duchy of Lancaster (and remained part of my empire, because he was also a duke in North Africa). I then pressed his claim to the throne of England... and the king at the time was also the Duke of York.

 

Course, he's since lost the throne, and the current king is fighting five dukes who are all pressing their claims to the throne. Such is life in Crusader Kings 2.