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What do I do about this girl at work?


Enraged Slith

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And the type of woman Enraged is attracted to is different from the 'general' woman in what way, exactly? What sort of desirable woman wants to hang around with an out of shape, unemployed, broke loser?

 

as far as we know enraged slith isn't any of those things (for one thing, he's definitely employed) so i'm not sure why you're even bringing that up. plus it seems pretty clear from this thread that "not enough women being attracted to him" isn't exactly at the top of his list of concerns right now

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I'm not sure, but I think it's illegal to impersonate a soldier. Simply being in the reserves is enough to impress a lot of women, even if you only do it for a couple of hours per week. Strutting down the street in your uniform with definitely get a few glances from potential partners.

 

spoiler alert again: most of the people giving hypothetical uniformed dude those glances will be thinking "what kind of overcompensating goofball goes for a random stroll in a military uniform"

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as far as we know enraged slith isn't any of those things (for one thing, he's definitely employed) so i'm not sure why you're even bringing that up. plus it seems pretty clear from this thread that "not enough women being attracted to him" isn't exactly at the top of his list of concerns right now

 

If money, power, fame, good looks and fame don't tend to attract quality women, then we should see as many desirable women with poor, unemployed, out of shape losers as we do with buff, famous, rich and/or powerful dudes.

 

spoiler alert again: most of the people giving hypothetical uniformed dude those glances will be thinking "what kind of overcompensating goofball goes for a random stroll in a military uniform"

 

Haha, think whatever you like.

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If money, power, fame, good looks and fame don't tend to attract quality women, then we should see as many desirable women with poor, unemployed, out of shape losers as we do with buff, famous, rich and/or powerful dudes.

 

desirable is in the eye of the beholder, that's kind of the point. i don't have much interest in dating supermodels and i think most other people who honestly thought about what it'd involve would feel the same way, life in the public eye seems like it'd be way too stressful and exhausting for one thing. plus even if you are into supermodels it's not like kate moss is going to go for someone just because they joined the army reserves anyway

 

forget about desirable, it's a fake idea. look for compatible instead.

 

but if despite all this someone reading this thread insists on doing some kind of high-flying lifestyle cosplay in a desperate attempt to impress people then they should buy a sports car, at least then they'll actually have something with a useful purpose

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desirable is in the eye of the beholder, that's kind of the point. i don't have much interest in dating supermodels

 

Whoa, wait. We're talking about the OP's interests, not you. And that's a misrepresentation. Not once did I say that he should date supermodels. In fact, I said that he had dodged a bullet by avoiding relationships. Personally, I feel that the effort expending on trying to attract the opposite sex if often not worth it.

 

. plus it's not like kate moss is going to go for someone just because they joined the army reserves anyway

 

Wait, why not? Is that a tacit admission that women in the upper echelon are attracted to money, power and fame?

 

forget about desirable, it's a fake idea. look for compatible instead.

 

Yes. You are aware that women also choose, right? And generally, women will decide in the first few minutes whether a man is 'compatible'.

 

but if despite all this someone reading this thread insists on doing some kind of high-flying lifestyle cosplay in a desperate attempt to impress people then they should buy a sports car, at least then they'll actually have something with a useful purpose

 

I'm glad I didn't recommend either of those options.

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Whoa, wait. We're talking about the OP's interests, not you. And that's a misrepresentation. Not once did I say that he should date supermodels. In fact, I said that he had dodged a bullet by avoiding relationships. Personally, I feel that the effort expending on trying to attract the opposite sex if often not worth it.

 

actually right now we mostly seem to be talking about your interests which you're projecting onto all women

 

Wait, why not? Is that a tacit admission that women in the upper echelon are attracted to money, power and fame?

 

it's an acknowledgement that people whose lives revolve around money and fame are likely to look for the same in a partner, just like people whose lives resolve around hiking are gonna look for a partner who's into hiking or people whose lives revolve around literature are gonna look for a partner who's into literature. calling any of those groups of people the "upper echelon" is a value judgement that not everyone's gonna share

 

And generally, women will decide in the first few minutes whether a man is 'compatible'.

 

nah. some people make snap judgements and never vary from them, most don't.

 

I'm glad I didn't recommend either of those options.

 

if you're spending two hours a week with the army reserves to impress women then you're pretty much cosplaying

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it's not like kate moss is going to go for someone just because they joined the army reserves anyway

 

This, I'm afraid. I spent seven years in the army reserves in Canada. We had mean green uniforms with helmets and stuff, we had fancy highland uniforms with kilts and swords, we had snappy suit-like uniforms with green berets. For most of that time I had lieutenant's bars and an air of command. Some guys I knew were losers but most were buff, assertive guys with sharp minds. The incidence of successful babe magnetism among that group was distinctly lower than among a similar pool without the uniforms. I tell ya, I speak from experience. By all means join the reserves if you think you'd enjoy it, and can afford the time. Do not do it to attract women.

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actually right now we mostly seem to be talking about your interests which you're projecting onto all women

 

Really? I didn't bring up Kate Moss as an example of a desirable woman. However, it's quite telling that you did.

 

it's an acknowledgement that people whose lives revolve around money and fame are likely to look for the same in a partner,

 

I'd agree that people who desire money and fame look for a partner with money and fame. Now here's the rub: Most women are attracted to money, power and fame.

 

just like people whose lives resolve around hiking are gonna look for a partner who's into hiking or people whose lives revolve around literature are gonna look for a partner who's into literature.

 

Hahah, so people hook up with the opposite sex because they both like to hike or read? Hoo boy, who's projecting now?

 

calling any of those groups of people the "upper echelon" is a value judgement that not everyone's gonna share

 

True. But all that matter's here is the OP's value judgement, and those of the women he wants to attract.

 

if you're spending two hours a week with the army reserves to impress women then you're pretty much cosplaying

 

Did I recommend he join the army reserves? It was a tongue in cheek statement to demonstrate that women tend to be attracted to superficialities.

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Really? I didn't bring up Kate Moss as an example of a desirable woman. However, it's quite telling that you did.

 

don't play this game with me ghaldring, i've known you long enough to know what you mean when you say things

 

I'd agree that people who desire money and fame look for a partner with money and fame. Now here's the rub: Most women are attracted to money, power and fame.

 

nah

 

Hahah, so people hook up with the opposite sex because they both like to hike or read? Hoo boy, who's projecting now?

 

shared hobbies and lifestyles are a pretty good way to meet compatible people, yeah. it's kind of funny that you see this as a controversial statement. way to be heteronormative with the whole "opposite sex" thing btw

 

True. But all that matter's here is the OP's value judgement, and those of the women he wants to attract.

 

wait is this thread still about giving advice to enraged slith? because it doesn't seem like he really needs it any more, the issue he started the thread over is pretty much resolved

 

Did I recommend he join the army reserves? It was a tongue in cheek statement to demonstrate that women tend to be attracted to superficialities.

 

again, nah, and also it's pretty insulting to make generalisations about women like that, especially when a number of us post on these forums

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This, I'm afraid. I spent seven years in the army reserves in Canada. We had mean green uniforms with helmets and stuff, we had fancy highland uniforms with kilts and swords, we had snappy suit-like uniforms with green berets. For most of that time I had lieutenant's bars and an air of command. Some guys I knew were losers but most were buff, assertive guys with sharp minds. The incidence of successful babe magnetism among that group was distinctly lower than among a similar pool without the uniforms. I tell ya, I speak from experience. By all means join the reserves if you think you'd enjoy it, and can afford the time. Do not do it to attract women.

 

From the company I keep, I can tell you that you are wrong. Either your didn't leverage your status, or didn't bathe enough.

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don't play this game with me ghaldring, i've known you long enough to know what you mean when you say things

 

OK, so you are arguing against what you think you mean, rather that what I actually say. Gotcha.

 

 

nah

 

And that's where are core disagreement is.

 

shared hobbies and lifestyles are a pretty good way to meet compatible people, yeah.

 

They aren't a good way to meet people you want to get intimate with. You want to go hiking? Go hiking with your buddies.

 

it's kind of funny that you see this as a controversial statement.

 

Not really, since it's flat out wrong.

 

way to be heteronormative with the whole "opposite sex" thing btw

 

We are talking about the OP here. However, the same rule holds fast for same-sex couples. Generally, homosexuals pair up according to superficialities, just like heterosexual couples.

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They aren't a good way to meet people you want to get intimate with. You want to go hiking? Go hiking with your buddies.

 

there's a difference between friendship and an intimate relationship, sure, but it's not that big of a difference. someone you'd find intolerable as a friend is going to be a bad choice as a partner too

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maybe this says more about the company you keep than about the army reserves and/or all women everywhere

 

I keep the company of women who aren't ashamed of their sexuality. When a six foot two police officer walks through the door, they are quite open about wanted to be cuffed by him.

 

Is that a bad thing? Are you saying that it is shameful for women to be attracted to a man based on his physical appearance and authority? What makes their preferences for a mate any less valid than your own? Um, I'm sorry I don't associate with women who aren't up to your standards.

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there's a difference between friendship and an intimate relationship, sure, but it's not that big of a difference. someone you'd find intolerable as a friend is going to be a bad choice as a partner too

 

Try procreating with one of your friends, and see if they think it's 'that' big of a difference. Sexual attraction is key.

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We are talking about the OP here. However, the same rule holds fast for same-sex couples. Generally, homosexuals pair up according to superficialities, just like heterosexual couples.

I'd appreciate it if you'd stop referring to me as an example for your tangent.

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I keep the company of women who aren't ashamed of their sexuality. When a six foot two police officer walks through the door, they are quite open about wanted to be cuffed by him.

 

Is that a bad thing? Are you saying that it is shameful for women to be attracted to a man based on his physical appearance and authority? What makes their preferences for a mate any less valid than your own? Um, I'm sorry I don't associate with women who aren't up to your standards.

 

all i'm saying is the fact that your friends state identical sexual preferences might be a reflection of the kind of person you tend to befriend rather than of What Women Want

 

Try procreating with one of your friends, and see if they think it's 'that' big of a difference. Sexual attraction is key.

 

sexual attraction isn't rare though. i've got a few friends that i've got a mutual attraction with and we could easily be in a relationship if the circumstances were right. it's just not that big a deal. if you find people that you click with in other ways then you're going to be attracted to some of them and some of them are going to be attracted to you

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Being in the military reserves is all fun and games until you are called up to fight. Back during Gulf War I, I overheard two doctors that had gotten their medical school paid from going through ROTC now finding out that they were going to be shipped out to the Mideast in a few weeks. They were lucky than all the others in reserve units in Iraq and Afghanistan after 9/11.

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I'm not sure, but I think it's illegal to impersonate a soldier. Simply being in the reserves is enough to impress a lot of women, even if you only do it for a couple of hours per week. Strutting down the street in your uniform with definitely get a few glances from potential partners.

I can't speak for all countries, but in the United States, it is indeed illegal to impersonate a soldier. It is also illegal for a soldier to wear their uniform when not performing official military duties or traveling to and from said duties. In that vein, walking down the street in uniform for the express purchase of catching the eye of a lady would not be permissible.
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snapback.pngLilith, on 25 March 2014 - 05:22 AM, said:

 

it's kind of funny that you see this as a controversial statement.

 

____________________________________________________|

Not really, since it's flat out wrong.

 

What do you base that on? The fact that you've never met anyone in such a way? It seems like you're entire argument is that you are an Army dude who is all awesome and chick-magnety, so all women must be attracted to someone based on only:

1. Their bulging muscles.

2. Their suave military duds.

3. Their massive income (this explains why non-military guys can also have success dating).

 

And mutual interests, personality, and everything else have nothing to do with it.

 

That... is simply not true.

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It's not only about what the other party wants, either. I mean, speaking personally, I have absolutely noooo desire to date someone I'm not already really good friends with. Random attractive strangers can be attractive, but there's more to life than pretty things. Even if Ghadring was right about everything else, which everyone not Ghaldring seems to think he is not, that's not to say that anyone else would be comfortable or happy doing as Ghaldring does.

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There is no bigger aphrodisiac for a female civilian than a man in a uniform, except a 6 foot dude with a six pack, or a billionaire.

 

There could be lots of women who prefer men with muscles or uniforms or money, but such a sweeping generalization is obviously not valid as there is no universal truth that determines sexual attraction. But what you say could be considered acceptable (remotely, for some people) if you can provide sufficiently trustworthy statistics/surveys participated by women from all locations, economic divisions, age groups etc. which state women's preferences, and if the said reports claim that almost all of these women agreed that the said traits were all that they look for in a man.

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There is no bigger aphrodisiac for a female civilian than a man in a uniform, except a 6 foot dude with a six pack, or a billionaire.

 

So according to you, all women will fall head over heels for a 6' military officer with money, but an ugly face, a-hole demeanor, and bad haircut, while ignoring a handsome, charming, and witty guy in nice non-military clothing?

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